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How To Properly Cook Rice

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Avatar for Lucifan
Written by   51
1 year ago
Topics: Comedy, Fiction, Life

Hello good people of read. Hope you're doing well today. I have been having it rough recently and I've not been able to attend to a lot of things. I'm sorry if I've not been as active as much as I once used to. Hope you guys forgive me. I know you do coz I know you're awesome! Thanks for being so awesome!

Today, I bring you another one from my kitchen. A special place where the don'ts are given priority. I believe in Sherlock Holmes' method. I can't quote him, but it's something about eliminating the wrong options to get the right options. I think that's an obvious but smart way of doing things, hence it's probably an obviously smart way. Don't mind me guys in just joking around. Even I don't understand myself when I'm like this so don't even bother trying.

Anyways I'll be giving you the ultimate instructions on the art of cooking rice. Bear in mind that I definitely hate rice and want you to hate it too. That important information given, let's dig into preparing a meal of your nightmares.

First, you have to talk about the ingredients. First, you have to get rice. But this is the worst decision you can ever make. It ties with not eating spaghetti (unbroken) every time you get the chance! Yes my friends, it's that heinous in Bolu's kitchen rule book which is in fact, the ultimate guide to life in the kitchen. If you decide to carry on with this bad decision, then fine, I'll try to help you do the right thing.

In my country, we have standard cups for measuring rice sorry I don't know the equivalent in other countries, but I think you'll still benefit from this awesome tutorial. So, if you're in any country, measure any medium sized cups of rice and boil it till it turns black. Either add water, or don't to make the blackning faster. Then add half -the number of cups of rice- cups of salt to the mixture.. Water is necessary at this point because nothing is ever truly gruesome without a little dirty wetness. Stir the mixture. If you can stir conveniently, you've not done a good job of cooking the rice so leave on fire a bit longer until the rice is black and has stuck to the pot totally. Remove it from fire.

If you have a sense of what should be -like I do- then you know what's coming. Yes my friends, you throw away the pot with the contents and then burn the refuse in the incinerator because rice is trash!

Disclaimer: I was just kidding guys. I wrote this to show such hatred as I have for rice. In fact, I was going to add that of you had enough money, you should leave the rice on fire for as long as you can till you burn down the house if you have extra houses because cooking rice in a house defiles it, but while that would have shown something closer to my true feelings for rice, I decided it would be too graphic, so I didn't!

(:

I love you all. You're worth more than all the rice in the world to me.

(: (: (:

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Written by   51
1 year ago
Topics: Comedy, Fiction, Life
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Comments

We don't add salt to our rice and we do not stir it. We just leave it to boil and cook, that's it.

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1 year ago

This was just a parody or something like that... If you do what's in the article,,, you'll both your house down... Lol... Don't follow the article my friend...

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1 year ago

Woe to you Lucifan... what was that? 😂 What a pity it is rice. With rice, you can make very tasty and delicious dishes with meat, vegetables and various stews...

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1 year ago

Lol... What country are you from my friend Ellen??? In my country that is done,,, but I'm an eccentric and I don't like rice,,, or vegetables or soup... :( Sorry...

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1 year ago

I am from Iran, we make very tasty dishes with rice, even meat dishes... 😉

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1 year ago

Iran is a nice place... Africa is bad... We don't have as many varieties as you... And we are generally poor... Your English is very good too... That's nice!!!

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1 year ago

Oh my, I was so serious reading all through your article coz I was curious about how you cook the rice but I ended up laughing. You're so funny, friend. Thanks for this, you made me laugh with your article today

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1 year ago

Aww... You're so sweet my friend... You were one of the first period to be nice to me here and you keep being nice... I am in your debt... I'm so so happy I could write something you like!!! I'm almost in years right now... You won't believe it... I love you!!!!

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1 year ago

Thanks too, my friend. You've been so supportive to me too, that's enough for me already...Please take good care of yourself, so you could share happier articles with everyone. ..Sending you lots of ❤️

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1 year ago

Aww... <3

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1 year ago

Haha ! That was the worst situation for cooking I think my friend. I am thinking if you told to cover the pot and there it could be worked like a boom💥💢. That could be dangerous. But I love rice more than anything as I live just for having this food timely.

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1 year ago

Lol... I'll remember to add cover the pot if I ever write about rice again... Thanks for the great idea my friend Rezanur!!!! I don't like rice... I'm happy you like it... It shows you're a normal human being... Unlike me... :(

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1 year ago

Haha. Are not you normal yet? Okay do cover but don't put my name there because I don't wanna get involved with some boom💥.

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1 year ago

Lol... Too late my friend... I already gave you credit in my article for today I wrote yesterday... Lol.. Thanks my good friend...

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1 year ago

🤣 🤣 🤣 Noooo!!! This is so bad and so funny haha. Imagine if this was actually how people cooked rice

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1 year ago

I do!!!! Every day!!!! I imagine it!!!! And it makes me happy... After I think about it,,, I calmly say,,, all would be right with the world!!!

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1 year ago

Well, I've never cooked rice before😁. I think I should learn to cook rice from you. However, it is important that everyone at least know how to cook rice. Cook rice and invite everyone to eat one day, everyone will learn.

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1 year ago

You're so nice Maze... Your friends are lucky to have you... You're in the philippines right??? Rice is pretty common here...

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1 year ago