Date: June 3, 2022 (Friday)

When you're tired of being tired, and thinking about it tires you.

Relate?

With a lot of things going on with our lives, it's inevitable to feel tired of them. We also have our own reasons why we feel tired in someway, and it's fine though as we are humans and feeling tired is pretty normal to experience with. For instance, we feel tired embracing another tiring day. We feel tired thinking about our tasks in queue. We feel tired of with the responsibilities we have in our lives. We feel tired of thinking about our problems in life. And even just the thought of feeling tired, tires us already. What's even ironic is we feel tired even if we do nothing.

Nevertheless, it's also funny sometimes that we tend to embrace tiredness as an expression. Even if we don't feel that much tiredness at all, we used to say, "I'm tired." And we unconsciously say those words out from nowhere. Guess, we have reached a point in our lives where we're not tired at all, but we just wanted to tell the world that we are.

Not to mention, I guess my tiredness is on a different level. Even if I am not that tired, I will really feel tired. Even if I wanted to be as lively as I could, it seems like my body will never cooperate with me.

Just so you know, people have seen me as someone who is an opposite of being active. I mean, not always, but there will be times that I used to be like it. Well, the truth is, my condition of feeling tired most of the time is because of my PCOS or Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. In PCOS, some women would constantly feel tired because of insulin resistance. If you think that insulin resistance is only in diabetes, unfortunately, it's also present to some women who have PCOS and I am one of them. With insulin resistance, the glucose levels are not controllable. Given that, the cells in the body don't have enough glucose to fuel around the system and that could lead to tiredness.

Not just that, with PCOS, my emotions are ever fluctuating. I instantly feel sad out of nowhere. I got soaked to random emotions even if I don't want to. Sometimes I just want to lock myself away from people because I feel down especially when my hormones are on the rule. I even overthink a lot before, but good thing now that I feel so much better in terms of overthinking as I am able to control them due to a lot of distractions around the corner. The only problem arise when I'm alone and have nothing to do. That's when I have thoughts of feeling tired again.

You see, that's just my reason of feeling tired most of the time. And it's just sad that some people around my circle would never understand that. They thought that I'm just making an excuse and I'm just lazy, where in fact, no matter how much I wanted to control it, I just can't. To be honest, I feel tired of being tired of this condition. But I have no choice, but to accept my reality. I just need to extend an extra mile to have a healthy lifestyle because that's the only the solution.

Moreover, I could say that it's okay to feel tired and with that, it's okay to rest as well. For sure things will be so much better in no time. One day, our tiredness will become happiness and we will be so ecstatic to embark our everydays. Let's trust the path that we're walking. Let's look forward to that day where we no longer say "I'm tired" and we will no longer think of being tired. Things will be so much better, let's claim it.

Have you experienced feeling tired of being tired?

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed are personal and solely belong to the author.