Am I unlucky or too lucky to be alive?

I think the God of death hate me that much to the point that he doesn't want me to be with him. Maybe even him, rejected my presence in purgatory. Or maybe he forgot that I exist and living. But I wouldn't give up I know that there's more some ways....

This is a continuation of the fiction story titled "when God of Death hate me that much. If you haven't read it yet you are free to jump in the story from the link below this article. If not then you're still free to read this one.

I didn't know why I'm still alive today. I mean I tried to kill myself s couple of times just last sunday, but here I am today Sunday still walking in the moon. I didn't know where I'm going too just flowing with the crowd. Today is my day off and I have nothing to do. A notification was sent to my phone and when I look at it at these are my highschool friends. Look how happy they are in this picture. They are in the beach near me by they didn't even invite me. But that's okay, I knew that they thought that I'm a type of busy person. But still I wanna join them if possible.

As I'm walking a through, I'm at osaka station now, and this is a four hours say to my place when you walk it to. And as I look up the sky it's night time. I'm also hungry and have no money in me. I wanna go home now and eat ramen I just wish there is a ramen left in my apartment. I wanna go home right now. Maybe I'll take bullet train today so that I could go home in no time. After paying for a ticket and while waiting for a train. Another notification pop up in my head. Our apartment caught in fire and everything in my room turned to ashes.i didn't know what to do. Everything on me was gone I have nothing left. I wanna end in this one, I wanna kill myself today. An idea pop up to my mind. A bullet train will kill me in no time, but I needed to wait for the exact moment. Of the arrival of the train or else somebody will pick me up. Time check it's 4:09 pm a minute to go before the arrival of the train. Here it is, I'm going to jump, but when I was about to jump in the rail, it jump in my face first. Did I miss the train? Dang. I'll wait for the next one this time 4:18 pm I jump of the rail 2 minutes earlier before the arrival of the next train. A lot of people is yelling at telling me get out of this rail but ko one is brave enough to drag me out from this. It is a bullet train in the first place what do you expect them to do? And so I just lay down in the rail, I'll be on news because of this one but I don't need to be shy on it I'll die in no time. As I wait I hear the bullet train is coming, I closed my eyes, everyone is shouting so loud. And there's this the train coming right to me. But then, after a minute I'm still breathing and two people grab my arms. As I open my eyes, I saw the bullet train stop a centimeter near to me. It used it's emergency break to stop instantly. Doesn't the world too beautiful, because of someone called the driver in enough distance the train stop right in front of me and I'm still breathing. Doesn't the world too great that even though I wanna die, the emergency break Gaves me an extra life. To this world.

Now what? What should I do today? I have no place to go to. My whole apartment burned to ashes. And here I am still alive, I should have a better plan to kill myself. I thought the last three attempt will surely gonna kill me. Should I consider myself lucky enough because I'm still alive today even though I attempted to kill myself three times in a row. Or I am unlucky enough that even killing myself still failed a lot of times? Which is which? I need a better plan, a plan that I know will not gonna fail I want something that will end my life for real. What is it?

To be continue....

Closing thought

I just wanna tell you that the story doesn't reflect the writers life or to any specific person. This are just a full of imagination and some random thoughts made by the writers. Today is Wednesday, 15th day of December and dangg it's so cold today, I'm feeling the breeze of christmas today.