Me vs Cousin!

17th of January 2022

Lead Image

Do not take whatever you’re about to read seriously, I simply wanna have some fun by writing tonight. Today was a very weird one, after my cousin decided to starve me by not making breakfast, I decided to torture him by putting by activating my data connection on my two Samsung devices, hence his network didn’t go through anymore. He had to come begging because he couldn’t access the internet to play his usual CALL OF DUTY MOBILE (he’s obsessed with the game). My device basically sucks the network out of the surrounding, hence every other device will have to struggle with whatever is left, hence his inability to connect to his online game. I did the evil laughter thing for some time after which I disabled my data on one of my devices and switched to WIFI. I told him that was only the tip of the iceberg and was going to torture him even more... ha-ha. At some point while he was laying on the chair, I threatened to plant my knee on his phone screen in a bid to break it and rid him of Call of duty mobile forever, surprisingly he didn’t bulge. His response was “I’d gladly collect one of your Samsung devices, I’ve always wanted one of those” ... Woah! Looks like my phones have got a secret admirer, at least he finally confessed his long-time lust for my phones. This is the part where I do the “all hail Samsung, all hail Samsung” thing. I guess it runs in the family- we’re all fans of Samsung products and iPhone is our number one enemy (iPhone users beware, this isn’t your fight). I use two Samsung devices, my sister uses a Samsung, her husband uses Samsung, her husband’s brother uses Samsung, my cousin is about to buy a Samsung smartphone, sister uses s Samsung smart TV and blah blah… I’d rather stop here before I cause a iPhone uprising… ha-ha.

Cousin eventually made breakfast and we both ate about a few minutes past 12 pm, this is my definition of brunch- I’d hide his smartphone tomorrow until he comes begging once more… this is me vs cousin and our rivalry will never end. Lol. Few minutes after having breakfast, we both switched on our laptops, opened read.cash, and interacted for about two hour plus or so. We were feeling like fraudsters about to scam their clients due to the fact that we both had laptops in front of us and were simultaneously connected to the internet. We imagined that the policemen broke in, they’d simply assume we were frauds without listening to the simple explanation of what read.cash is all about because the country is full of internet frauds that all youths are considered criminals once they attempt to make money from the internet.

About one hour after interacting, his mom contacted us via phone call and asked us to come meet her at the salon so we could collect the bags with her since she intended to make her hair and the bags were too much to fit in there for too long. Basically, she had gone shopping while on her way back from work and bought necessary household provisions like chocolate, milk, butter, margarine, blah blah, and a lot of candies. We dropped them all on the dining table had STOLE one piece of Eclairs chocolate each while juggling the plastic container to eliminate evidence. Few minutes later I saw my cousin with another wrap which means he had stolen another wrap behind me, I simply walked to the table without giving him any clue and stole a second wrap as well. I eliminated evidence the best way I could and simply moved on with my life. I and cousin are officially criminals… lol.

We both fried eggs yesterday, three eggs so we could eat with bread but his mom (my Aunt) came to the kitchen after the egg was fried and asked how many eggs we fried, my response was “two eggs, we only fried two”. If I had told her we fried more, she was gonna begin an unending lecture on the reasons we shouldn’t eat fried eggs in excess, and the medical implication of our actions. She’s a medical practitioner, hence the need to lie as I didn’t intend to listen to an unending session of motivational speech lol (I do hope she doesn’t see this or I’m gonna be toast).

I know this is the most boring article you’d ever read; I do not know how to be dramatic with words hence I simply write as my heart says.

Surprisingly, I was about to conclude this article when my cousin came to my room stating that it was time for night devotion- I followed him immediately and behaved myself. I only made the mistake of sitting beside him. I was told to lead the prayer hence I began praying but he began to step on me deliberately knowing fully well that I wouldn’t be able to react until the prayer was over. I wanted to laugh so badly but simply swallowed it as quickly as it attempted to burst out of my mouth. After the prayer was over he ran with the speed of light but I followed him immediately and told him I had something really important to say… he listened with apt attention and my words were “what I wanna tell you is to go f8ck yourself” hahaha hahaha…. I laughed so badly because I knew it was a checkmate. He laughed as well but he knew I had won for tonight.

We begin our rivalry again tomorrow without holding back. My cousin is also a read.cash user but I’d rather not mention his username so he wouldn’t find out that I wrote about our team work and rivalry!