Life can really be weird; one moment no one cares and the next you decide to take your own life in something called suicide and the next they suddenly care about you and begin to motivate you regarding the need to live on, push forward and the need to keep on living. They say life is good but what if the after life is better; I see peeps giving me the "stay strong" motivational speech and "do not leave" words of encouragement but in the end you'd be back to how it all started within one or two days because life is so lonely that the bitter truth is you only have yourself.
I received a lot of motivational talks and encouragement in my comment section regarding my intention to move to a higher plane of existence, an obviously better place without pain, suffering, poverty, depression and all things "I am bothered about this and that". Those words of encouragement are highly appreciated but I'm in doubt regarding whether any of those words are actually meant or just for show. After all we're all complete strangers and we're only linked by read.cash and the BCH community, we've never met and we never will. Thus begging the question "will I be missed when I eventually ascend to higher planes?" The answer is obviously a "No" and I do not intend to explain.
I'm tired of this infinite loop called life- life is monotonous, we basically do the same thing over and over which makes me go crazy yet I see some say life is enjoyable; I mean how do you enjoy living in a loop- doing the same thing over and over all day and all year long without losing your sanity. I find it hard to comprehend this anomaly no matter how hard I try thus resulting in depression because life in itself is basically pointless.
"Life is basically pointless and without a direction, nothing but an infinite loop of nonsense"....
We live, eat, sleep, wake, reproduce, die and the following generation repeats the same process over and over; generations come and go yet the loop continues. In the end life nothing but a loop of meaningless events which we do not have the ability to question because we are programmed not to ask the question of "what's the point of existence of we'd still die, isn't it pointless?". The moment we break the program and begin to ask questions about our existence then depression comes in the need to be put out of your mystery begins to set in.
I don't know if I'm the only one that feels this way but this loop is killing me and I can't take it anymore; it may be a result of having a very fragile mind which breaks easily- I mean I don't know anything I'm just speculating but I concluded a long time ago that life in itself is meaningless and without direction. One moment things are going as planned, and the next you have no idea what you're doing because the word "haywire" becomes your Bestfriend and there's no escaping this conjecture.
Regardless of wealth or positioning, we all are going to leave this mortal body at some point hence all acquired possessions and positions will be left behind and rendered meaningless. If we're still going to leave it all someday then what's the point of chasing the wind in an attempt to catch what we wouldn't be able to grasp for so long.
Life is tiring and I do not intend to explain further; no matter how hard I try, the right words to explain this conjecture simply doesn't exist...
I'm considering ascension but have received too many messages asking me to not think about cutting this life short; it's tough to decide I'd to listen or not but the greater question would be "what do they have to offer in the case where I choose to keep on living, would they be there for me in difficult times?"
A greater question nobody would be willing to answer with sincerity.
Toddles!
True, but we must understand that suicide is never a solution to whatever trouble we may be dealing with.