Rough days!
July 28
I woke up in the morning with full of hope. A hope that someday the situation and time will be mine. It is kinda frustrating that I am again acquiring anxieties from my negative mind. I keep thinking the other part of positive vibes in order for me to lessen the negativity unfortunately it striken me slowly.
I really don't know why I am here right now. Why I feel like I am not progressing? Why I am still in the moment of waiting? Why my best still not enough?
These are the things that makes me feel unmotivated. I know my thoughts trying to break me and breaking my faith to God but whatever my thoughts trying to betray me, I know God is with me and He will never let me down from my darkest.
Life is tough and hard to handle sometimes but this is what life offers with many obstacle in order to set out our life with bravery.
This life right now is very uncertain. I don't know where I could stand myself for the betterness. All I thought after all the pain is now a sweet success but it didn't. Still there were lot of chaos before you take the real success. Sometimes it makes me feel hopeless as I look out the things where I am right now. Feels like every decision that I made is not valid and successful. Lots of things wanted to happen for me to be able called it a success. Unfortunately, the things that you wanted to happen is not meant to happen because honestly you can't control everything. Only God is in control.
As I wanted to follow my plans or dreams to happen, there are things that it wouldn't to happened. We all know that God also has it's own plan and his plan is better than mine.
I feel so guilty right now as I can't help any amount for my grandfather oxygen. It crumpled my heart knowing that I, myself don't have any help for him. I feel like I am so bad that way that I can't give any amount. Hopefully I can find some penny. It is roughly times right now of my part as I can't understand my situation but I do believe that God has set me with purpose.
I know that all of this things happened to me right now will be ended. It will change into something beautiful settings when God prevail my timeline. Even though it's hard for me right now to understand but I know this will be beautiful at the end. God is Good all the time and He won't let me remain in the darkest time.
Beautiful things happened after all the uncertainties. I would not let myself feel the negativity at the end of the day instead I will let myself pray and pray for me to be able to see the real hope and presence of our Almighty God.
It's my rough days too and I believe that there are better days ahead for me and for you too. Don't brood. Just hope for the best.