Is this former student really admire me?

March 14

What a beautiful day!

I can sense the bright sunny day that started to shine on. The sunshine of mr. Sun would always give a hope where it can boost my hopeful in day to day living. It can also motivate my eagerness to work out the things that needed to be fixed.

Yes, Hello Monday. It feels so good that I, myself already go back on track. God is good all the time as He keeps me push to my limit for me to realize everything that I need to get up, dress up and show up my capacity. I can say that these past few weeks I am so rude of everything and now a little by little I can go back again where I am stronger and positive. To my own source of strength and power, thank you so much dear God.

Actually, I already did my OJT last 2018. During my, On the Job Training (Ojt) i was assigned to senior high department. At first I was so depressed knowing that it challenge me this reality. I overthink a lot and it bothered me before we deploy on our respective schools. It's hard for me knowing that this could be my first time teaching the student as well as dealing individual differences, and lastly knowing that they might be my age level. How could I handle this kind of situation where I am just a simple girl, underestimating capacity and don't have guts to show up myself. I am just totally bothered that time that why me? I was the one who was assigned on that department! I was crying the whole day that it keeps me challenge day by day.

When time that the first day of deployment instead of excitement, I was so nervous. I don't have choice just to hold on the promise of God that I can do this and I can do that. I am really holding my faith strongly just for me to chain up, face the fears and face this challenge.

So yeah, even I was struggling a lot academically of Senior high school, I study a lot day by day. Their academics is very new to me. In my years studying it wouldn't introduced since it was already a new curriculum of k-12 . A little bit confusing but keep trying my best. Things might so hard in every first time and time keeps running. I can see to myself that I already know how to adjust. I already knew how to deal the senior high student where I need to vibe their level. It shouldn't be so much strict but vibe them with craziness. Of course, being a mentor it should have know the limitations and the authority.

Let's talk about this young boy.

I have this one former student from senior high school

So, last week a message pop up to my notification. A message that says, 'hi ma'am'. Ohh I was startled that oyy I have a former student still know me. He chat me that way but I didn't know who was this student since the profile and the name wasn't stated truthfully. So, we keep chatting and then he told me that I was his favorite practice teacher way back then and he was inspired as always whenever it's time for me to teach them. I was like huh? Who is this man? until such time I told him what was your real name?.. And then there you go. It was him. Hahaha a senior high student that makes my journey more memorable hahaha.

This was a boy that I already shared here that one of my student who really admired me. He was in the point of putting so much effort in me, like he keeps giving me a gift like fruits and clothes. Without knowing when I came to our office my co-practice teachers tease me because someone brought me fruits. Of course, I was shocked that time because his admiration is not already a natural. Before that day, he already chat me to open up his feelings with me and I told him that it's not a good thing to enter this kind of relationship because you are too young and I am just practicing my profession and I need to be a professional. There are times that I also ignore his message because I already annoyed and it makes me bothered. I was afraid also that time because I don't want myself to be in the situation where it can put myself at risk.

Back to our conversation last week, he was again asking me about lovelife. I told him that I have. He was insisted that i don't have yet because my timeline in facebook wasn't showing up. I was just laugh and nothing I don't need to explain about it. It is my personal thing.

I can sense with him that he still admire at me. It was already five years and he still his admiration with me is living. He was about to enter third year college right now, and surreal feelings knowing that one of your senior high student before almost done the degree and become a professional someday. He even told me whenever he was already working at cruise ship, he will look and find me. (Hahah kakatakot nman ng taong to😅)

All I wanted him is to get his desired dreams and work for his future. Nothing more and nothing less because I'm taken haha. Yeah, because it is also my fulfillment of being once a teacher to him. It was glad that he still admire me but what I don't like is when he keeps papansin with me. Haha

Well, Hoping for the best of you. I know that you will achieve your dreams and show up to the world that you are worthy.

Thank you for the admiration.