Help! I am having an Anxiety attack

Did you ever wonder why I'm not actively present here?

Did you ever wonder why I may not visited your article?

Did you ever feel my absences here?

Did you ever wondering why my January articles full of sadness, pressure and hope?

Or should I say

Did you wondering why "Kleah" had changed?

To tell you honestly my month of January full of breaking downs. It's hard to cope up this things in everyday living. Tears always in the eyes and making myself prisoned in one corner. I don't know if you feel me, I don't know if you notice me, I don't know if you remind me. I am here now suffering this shitty things inside of me. Actually, I don't want to visit here and feels like demotivated to work here. It change my perspective about all my dreams, my plans and my approaches of all.

I don't know why? I am nowhere.

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I am now experiencing Anxiety attack. I am now suffering this kind of shitty things. I am now wrecked by my own feelings.

In this month was really my biggest breakdowns in my life wherein I am tear into pieces. You know what all the things that I work for the positive things was all vanish because of this attack. You've notice that all my article here was trying to be positive but then anxiety ate me right now. I been experiencing this for almost weeks. I even prisoned myself in this four corner of room. I let myself suffered of hunger. It loosen my appetite day by day. I am totally devastated.

The way I woke up every morning, I always feel the nervousness. It really sucks that it kept me feel it. To the point that it keep pumping my heartbeat so fast that will lead me to cry without any reasons. Yes! I am crying every morning with this feelings of nervousness. A panic attack that feels me in a sudden feeling of extreme anxiety. It's hard! My eyes already swollen because of crying. My hair is keep fallen. Hair fall causes so much stress. It's hard to breath. It's hard to live with this serious emotion.

Anxiety is real!

I never imagined that I will experience this kind of disorder. I am having a General Anxiety Disorder wherein I feel worried and stress about many things even small things.

What Is Generalized Anxiety Disorder?

Generalized anxiety disorder (or GAD) is marked by excessive, exaggerated anxiety and worry about everyday life events for no obvious reason. People with symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder tend to always expect disaster and can't stop worrying about health, money, family, work, or school.

Source: Link

As you can see it's all about the main reason is Overthinking. Anxiety leads to worry in everyday life for no obvious reason. This generalized anxiety think alot and can't stop worrying about the aspect of life.

My last article published about the moments of my family and relatives wherein we were able to have an outing, celebrating the wedding of my cousin seems like my day was full of happiness but it doesn't. That moment was a happy outside but honestly dying inside. I might handle it those days but unfortunately I was suffering a lot inside. There are times that I was in the public place and can't help myself to handle my tears. It just a sudden feelings of break downs.

I might often worried about all things that is why it lead me a negative results. I might experiencing a physical symptoms like a fast heartbeats wherein it affects my mental health and healthy lifestyle. It's hard for me to enjoy life as I experiencing this anxiety and it can make limits my activities in daily living. Anxiety is hard.

This disorder caused a lot of me. Being a seeker of God it affects me because this Anxiety hold me so much. Being optimistic in every situation turns into pessimistic. Everything turns to negative. I keep praying to endure all this things but it affects my solemn prayer to God, talking with God is not really myself who was humble before.

So now, I am here need help because I am having emotion disorder which is Anxiety attacks.

This is my first time experiencing this kind of emotion disorder. Please pray for me to ease this anxiety. It's hard to handle this kind of situation alone, I hope you guys will leave me full of wisdom and positive thoughts. I'll make sure that I will read it all for me to help myself to stand and fight again all the battles.

I hope you guys will understand my part as I am inactive this days. I miss of being active here again.😔

January 17, 2022