Know Your Boundaries

Greetings to you all!

How is it going? Hope you're all good?

A big thanks to you all for staying with me this far, especially in this period that I've been off and on(in terms of engagement here). Thank you🙏

When it comes to the matter of one stepping on your toes, closeness or relationship must be in place first. This is because it's completely impossible for people you don't know to step on your toes.

I'm not talking about just merely knowing but a little touch of relationship attached. Talking about this ongoing war between Russia and Ukraine, the war didn't just started like that, relationship (either good or bad) must have been in place that triggered enmity between the too countries. Does it mean that other countries like my dear nation don't know about Russia?, we know them but...

In this life, stepping on someone's toes or being stepped upon can not totally be avoided unless you are not really relating with people. Can you leave without mingling with people? I guess no, so we should be expectant of this always as it can come anytime. Even in the digital world, you can step on someone's toes when there have been a connection. So maybe if you are saying you're gonna stay off people in your workplace to avoid this issue, are you gonna stay off People in social media life to avoid it too? You'd end up putting yourself in a lonely zone. I'm very sure some people here have had bants and quarrel because of closeness with someone you met here.

I remember when I was leading a group of people, there was this lady that's always bringing up difficult works for the group and it got people to hate her. She's the second in command and I was working under her based on the hierarchy of the system(mine was on another sector). Everyone hated her what she normally does and this became a big problem because people displays the hatred on her face without giving a damn on how she feels. She oftentimes come to me crying and reporting on how they're treating her, telling me to tell my people on to see stop seeing her as evil. I felt bad for her because all that work she normally bring are not her own, but an instruction from the boss, the masses know all these but the lady is expected to liaise with the boss and cut off some but she never did, and on the day of the work, anyone that didn't come would be marked black, and that usually result in payment of fine or being punished.

I called a meeting one evening and assembled all the people (yeah, corpers) and explained this fact to them, that all that's happening is just because of relationship. That this hatred on the lady wouldn't have happened if we are far off. The lady was ready to make peace with all of them and 90% of the people were concurring and seeing facts to welcome her back till when 1% among the remaining 10% raised a voice and fight bursted. I left the simple 'peace call' I initiated to settle a hot fight 🤣.

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Have you seen where a girl broke a guy's heart without them knowing? That's impossible! Closeness is what brings all these.

Lead image source

I mentioned in my previous articles about meeting my neighbors having a serious quarrel one night when I got home from work. Let me tell you,,, when I told them to explain what caused the issue, they said many things and one the things mentioned involved all occupants of the compound including me (on not treating the compound well). None of them was able to meet or confront me on why I've not been doing this or that in compound, but these two decided to kill themselves with bants. Do you know why? They've been so close and I knew one day their too much bondness as neighbors would result to something like this.

I'm not saying the way they were living was bad but i found it not cool for a young man(the guy) to be staying and gisting always with the woman(she's married and lousy). The woman cooks and serves this young man and while he's eating, he tells this woman all about his life...I found it so disgusting.

When they were exchanging words(during the quarrel), the woman opened all the records that the guy had told her and was releasing the information to outside People one after the other and this really got the guy mad😡.

That day, I wanted to tell him to reduced the so called bondness but it'll look like I'm telling him how to live his life. But thank GOD, he has decided to adjust on his own without letting anyone telling him, the problem is that he took the wrong path. He had been keeping Malice with the lady and the husband 🤣.

They've been keeping Malice for a week and when I returned from work yesterday, I greeted him and he went straight to report the woman's attitude to me, saying that the woman is still saying things about him to her customers that came to buy things. He was filled with anger saying his mind to me. I tried to calm him down that he's a man and not all things he hears should bother him.

Lesson:

What's the essence of these stories? It's good to relate with people and make friends but please always put boundaries to avoid some unnecessary issues with these people. It helps you also not to step on someone's toes.

In my compound, I relate with my neighbors but not to a certain level. It's usually mere greetings and little exchange of ideas and that's the end. I've studied them and I know that once I give to too much familiarity, they'll take opportunities. Thank God I don't even stay much, they see me only at night.

Know your boundary when you're familiarizing 🙋.

Thanks for reading

26th February 2022