Paranoid about being ** Paranoid **

Date: October 23, 2021

Did you ever experience of constantly worrying or thinking about a thing?

That's me!. I am not sure if that's just the motherly part of me but I am always paranoid of a thing happening in my surroundings.

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Let's say for example you throw a joke but after saying it, you became worried that it might became too offensive or so. And since then, you can't stop thinking whether the person has been offended or not by your joke. You're worried that he got upset of what you've said.

Or let's say, while watching tragic news over the television, you became so scared that it might happen to you or to any member of your family. And hence you started to think about it, think about what to do in case those things happened to you. Once of these instances are the Ondoy flooding incidents that killed thousands of people. Another one is the Yolanda incident where the storm surge also killed lots of people living near the shore.

Another minor instance is when I am on a meeting and my husband suddenly put the volume of his tab to maximum. I became so paranoid after the call and can't even sleep afterwards because I am too worried of what those people in the call might have been thinking of me due to that incident.

Before I proceed, let me share with your first the definition of the word "paranoid" according to merriam webster.

Major incidents that triggered my paranoia

The white van incident.

Did you heard this widely spread news in the social media and I believe it has spread even over the television about a white van kidnapping children? I've read from some posts that the kidnappers are taking out the internal organs of those children and just throwing the body out of the van afterwards with some money inside the hole they made to get the internal organs. It's like the kidnappers are saying to the mother of those children

"here is the corresponding amount of those organs"

I even watched a child being interviewed who has escaped from the kidnappers when they attempted to kidnap her.

If you're a mother or have siblings or niece or nephew, I believe you'll get paranoid as well as I am.

I even told my husband to not let the kids go out of his sight whenever I am at work (45 km away from our house).

The Severe Dengue Incident

4 years ago, one of my former classmate from college mourned because their precious daughter was taken from them by the Dengue. Her husband is a nurse actually.

We know that there's no specific cure for dengue. So all we can do is keep the patient hydrated at all times and boost their immune system.

As per my former classmate, their child was actually tested negative from Dengue however all the symptoms that manifested over their child is Dengue fever symptoms hence her husband took care of their child as if she has a dengue.

They've hydrated their child and do a round a 'clock checking of her temperature. But when the seizure episode started, they took their daughter at the hospital into where his husband works as a nurse. Everything is going well. Their daughter stays active despite the on and off fever and some seizure episodes.

But then the worst day came. It is afternoon when my classmate and her daughter was making a quick walk at the vicinity of the hospital enjoying the outside view, her daughter suddenly asked her to come back to their room because she felt cold. And so they went back to their room.

And I cannot recall exactly if it's the same day when her daughter suddenly vomited black colored liquid. Being a nurse, her husband knew already that it's blood accumulated over the child's stomach. And he panicked. Her husband and the co-workers decided to move their child into another hospital who has high-tech instruments to know the cause of that. By that time, their child is already unconscious.

Inside the ambulance, while they are on their way to transfer her daughter to another hospital, as per my classmate, she heard someone shouted "code blue". And she can see her husband and other nurses panicked trying to resuscitate their child.

As they arrived at the emergency room, their child has been assisted immediately by the nurses and doctors. She can even see how many needles have been inserted on her daughters arms and legs injecting some medicine while they are trying to revive the poor child.

The doctor said that their daughter suffered from Sever Dengue. It damaged her internal organs and caused internal bleeding that leads to her death.

My husband and I came to the wake and it's really heartbreaking to see the parents mourning on their only child.

And that incident made me paranoid for my kids. I even bought them a knee sacks for them to wear when they go to school. I bought "off lotion" for them. On the first day of an on and off fever, I immediately bring them to the doctor. That's how paranoid I am.

There are lots of other incidents that made me too paranoid actually but so far aforementioned two incidents are the major one. And those paranoia lasts for few months.

How about you? What's your paranoid stories? How did you manage to overcome them?