It's been few weeks already that I am annoyed with this weird feeling. Weird feeling about a person that left us and then all of a sudden, started to reach out to us again cause she needs our help.
I am referring to my mother.
Four years ago, my father is an OFW in Saudi Arabia. He is a factory worker there and it's his 10th year already there. He used to come home every after two years and then go back again after few weeks of stay here in the Philippines.
It was year 2008 when my father leave us and went to Saudi Arabia to try his luck. Before that, he is a loyal factory worker in Batangas. He was a machine operator way back then. There's an unfortunate event happened in his work area where his machine suddenly malfunctioned. He inspected his machine but then he forgot to put the Safety warning informing others that it is out of order. He was suspended from his work for 2 weeks but then suddenly, the company decided to completely expel him as he has violated one of their safety policies.
And as you may know, that will be considered as a demerit in his resume and given his age (40+), it's difficult for him to find similar job because of the age limit that some companies are imposing here in the Philippines.
To my father's desperate move, he applied as an Overseas Filipino Worker instead. That's one of the problem here in the Philippines and one of the reason why Filipino choose to work abroad. Foreign countries are giving Filipinos a higher chance of being welcomed into their company as compared with the local companies.
Since then, after he finished the 2 years contract, his company always renew it but is giving him an opportunity to go home and visit us (his family). The set-up is like that until on his 7th year there, an unexpected incident has happened.
It was June 2015 (I couldn't recall of the date already), when I received an overseas call from my father. He is asking if my mother is with me. I am confused actually after I heard those questions cause as far as I know, my mother is living with my brother somewhere in Rizal.
So I asked my father back.
Me: Isn't she with my brother"?
My Father: She left yesterday without asking your brother where she's going.
Your brother is at work actually when she left and she just told your bother's wife that she will just go to the market to have some manicure.
She just sent me a message saying "Magpapakalayo layo na ako, huwag nyo na akong hanapin".
I felt shocked on what I heard. So I asked my father if they have some misunterstanding.
My Father: Nope. We don't have any misunderstanding. In fact, I just sent her 30,000 PHP few days ago.
I immediately tried to contact my mother but he's cancelling my call. So I texted her instead. I am trying to convince her to go back and just fix whatever her and my father's misunderstanding are.
Weeks have past and it was my birthday when I received a text message from my mother greeting me a Happy Birthday. I texted her back and again, convincing her to go back to us. I asked her why did she left but she don't wanted to tell me. I asked her if she's with someone or other guy, but she denied.
I stalked my mother's FB account and there I noticed this guy who is our neighbor in our province. He is constantly sending like to my mother's post. He even leave some comments expressing his admiration towards my mother. I told my father what I've discovered. And my father told me that he also has the same suspicion.
After few days, I tried to contact her again. But she's refusing to answer my call. I then texted her:
"Ang bait bait ni tatay bakit mo sya ginaganyan".
Then she replied:
"Akala nyo lang yun".
So I texted her again:
"Nay huli na ito. Bumalik kana habang kaya pa natin ayusin, tatanggapin ka naman ulit namin. Welcome ka dito sa amin, sa akin kung gusto mo"
And her reply?
"Babalik lang ako kapag kinausap na ako ng tatay ninyo"
And my last text to her was (these are not the exact words but these are the thought of my message to her).
"Kung sino man yang sinamahan mo, sana alagaan ka nyan hanggang sa pagtanda mo. Huli na ito nay. Huli nang pangungulit ko sa iyo. Kung talagang desisyon mo na iwanan kami, wala na akong magagawa"
And since then, I never attempted to contact her.
One day after couple of years, I have received a call from my sister who is residing in our province. He suddenly mentioned that my mother visited them. She's constantly visiting them. And then one time my mother brought them to her place and there, we have confirmed that the guy I am suspecting before as the reason why my mother left us is there.
They are living together since she left us!. My mother even asked my siblings to call him "Papa".
What a heck right? Really? Why are you asking my siblings to call him that, he is not our father!. Those are the words I wanted to tell to her!. The pain just suddenly ate my heart again.
And then last week of August, I have received a chat message from her. We're not friends in FB cause she created a new FB account, hence her message went through the "For Review" list in my messenger.
Just look on the way she chatted me. As if I am the sinner one.
Walang pasikot sikot, straight to the point but there's a bit of panunumbat as if we're not treating her as our mother at all.
I do not believe that she's a covid positive so I tried to reach out one her neighbor to confirm her reason. And her neighbor told us that she's not covid positive. Just had some fever few days ago. She said she even saw our mother in the market few days ago.
Still, I gave her 1,000 PHP.
After few weeks, she sent me another message again. Asking for another 2000 PHP. She said she needs to undergo SWAB testing for her to be able allowed to work again. Her guy is jobless hence she's urged to work in her parlor for their living.
Since I have knowledge as well on the process once a person was tested positive in COVID, I then replied and said that SWAB test is free, it's shouldered by the LGU.
I knew about it because I also asked one of my cousin who has tested positive in COVID-19 as well. The LGU shouldered her and her son's swab test. The LGU even ration them some food.
Below is the snapshot of our conversation.
Of course, I know that it's just another alibi to get some money from me. I know that my mother is a Great Liar. Hence I do not believe immediately on whatever she's telling me unless I have a proof.
I am typing my response to her and what I typed in was this:
"Umuwi ka nalang Nay. Para matigil na yang pamomroblema mo sa pera. Tatanggapin ka pa naman namin ulit."
When I am about to send it, my husband came and saw it. He then asked me to delete it and do not send it because for sure she will not leave that guy she's currently living with.
Until now, all I want and I pray is to have our mother back. I know that my father will not be able to immediately accept her again but eventually, I know that she will be forgiven.
My father has a strong faith in God and hence I know deep inside in my heart that it will not difficult for him to forgive my mother (once again).
Apologies my dear readers for this dramatic life story of mine!
Your story is almost the same with my co-worker's story. Im just wondering why there are mother like that. I'm a mother too, but I can't afford leaving my kids for selsfish reasons, in fact i have all the reasons to let go of my husband but i did choose to stay because that's what makes my kids happy! Just let your mother do a s she please. Time will come she will realized her mistakes!