I Want You

Time is fast approaching. Yesterday was the first day one of September but now it's the 9th day of the month. It's like one blink of the eye. Stay hydrated and so I am. Gosh, the weather becomes hotter at each day and while doing this article the sweats are dropping around.

I want you to notice me. I want you to play with me. I want you to be close to me. I want you to have a memory in me.I want you to see your smile and be the reason for your smile. I want to see you laugh. I want your attention. And I want you even if the world is against us.

The first time I saw you was unexpected. You and your friends we're talking and jamming. At first, I can say nothing special about you. You and I are meters away but why can't I take my eyes off you. I don't know your name. But what captures me is the moment you laugh and smile at them and suddenly want to be the reason behind that happiness of yours. I want you for myself alone. I am not a selfish person but in you I am willingly to be one. You and your friends are ready to go and that time I'm losing hope to know your name and meet you. Hope arises when one friend of yours is also my common friend. He introduced me and he introduced all of you but your name is what I am waiting for to know.

Desperately I am, I search you in all social media I have  and I do the friend request and hoping that you will notice me. Days and weeks passed, nothing appeared in my notification that you accepted. Until I day, you accept and notice me. Secretly, I stalk your accounts, your post and even your previous photos. I just love to see your smile. I want to message you but I am afraid to be ignored and rejected. Before my day ends, I will pray to God for safety. happiness and good health. 

Weekend comes, I was so happy to be invited by our common friend and be part of that outing. Excited to see you and have our first ever memory together. I prepared everything I needed and prepared myself to join every activity even if it is difficult. My excitement turns into sadness co'z he brings the girl of his private life. Everyone is clueless that he has a girlfriend. And there I realized that every picture of him on social media was taken by his girl. I was so numb and an idiot for thinking that I could be the reason for his smile even though he already has the reason for smiling. Even though I already knew,I still want to fight my love for you. Seeing you looking at her like she is the only person in this world is a sign that I need to stop wanting you to become my world because you are already the world of somebody.

As the outing ended, I also ended my many wants with you. My love, I just wish for your happiness even though I am not the reason. Continue to smile wide and laugh like nothing tomorrow. In my mind I want to talk to you and voice out what I feel but I dont have courage to do so that I am secretly in love with you. I love you in secret. I admire you in secret. I want you in secret. Also, I will move on in secret. I am happy to see that you have already found your universe and become her world.

My heart cried because I made it😭. Like yesterday, I was imagining to make this kind of article and to explore if I can do it. Sorry if it is too boring but I am still proud that I made it.

Check them out. Forever thankful and God bless you😇

Lead image is not mine.

JustMaryel sending you Love❣️