Is it safe to be vulnerable around your lady?

Avatar for Jumper-01
2 years ago

29 March 2022

This debate is one as old as time. Women say they want us to be vulnerable around them but I am not entirely sure they want that. I will tell you why I think so in a minute but check this..

So this evening I was surfing the web like I always do looking for some materials and watching random videos when I suddenly came across this video.

It was an online podcast where the host invited two women and two men for a conversation about relationships and all that. He asked a particular interesting question about vulnerability which he directed to the men.

One of the men seated at this interview made a point about women thinking that they want men to show vulnerability but at the end of the day once a man shows a certain part of his life to a woman she looses interest in him fast.

He even went further to tell a story about his friend who cried in front of his girlfriend when he had lost a huge investment. He then said that they broke up some months later and he found that one of the reasons for the break up was the fact that after that incident she started seeing him differently like a weaker version of his real self.

He said women would always go for safety and security( either physically, emotionally or financially)and if they feel like you can not provide them with that because you are unsure of certain things then there is a big chance of them leaving the relationship.

I stumbled on another video where a man talked about showing and telling a woman you love her. He said “not to tell her those words” and even if you have to tell her not to always show it. Why? It keeps them guessing trying to figure out if you really love them or not and that if you can’t manage to do that to a woman then you can keep her for as long as you want.

My ladies is this true ?

Personally, I have had a few experiences of my own with ladies. I found out that every time I am early to show a lady that I care about her or I tell her how I feel about her.. she quickly changes her attitude towards me. It is almost like she was more attracted to me when she wasn’t sure about my feelings for her.…

…and now that she is it is like there is no mystery to me, she is no longer curious. Which made me think one thing; if just showing her I truly like her can make her be less attracted to me just imagine what crying in front of her would do to me.

Again I am not against men showing vulnerability towards women neither do I totally advice you should do it. I think every relationship is different and every human being is different. The girls in the podcast-interview thing I spoke about earlier tried to make a point that they are even more attracted to vulnerable men because women like to protect their men but hey who knows.

i spoke to Temi

She said that she prefer her men vulnerable around her because it shows her that she is special to them. She added that she is knows that a lot of men keep things to theirselves most times and that if they shared it with anyone it means that person means a lot to them.

Well Temi is not wrong .. I for one only share certain information with people I really care about. Maybe some women find vulnerability attractive and some others maybe not so much my ultimate advice is know your spouse and know what they are like if you feel like your lady can handle you being vulnerable around her then be that and if you feel like her views about you would change then please don’t be vulnerable around her. You can communicate your feelings to her and just tell you would figure it out because at the end of the day communication is key or you can even find a silent place to work out all your feelings before showing your face in front of her.

That is just my advice what do you think ? Do you think we should be more vulnerable in our relationships? Do you think vulnerability in men is attractive? Ladies let me see you in the comment section.. let me know what you think..

Thank you for reading ❤️✍️.

Copyright©2022 jumper

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2 years ago
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Comments

The truth is that, women don't like vulnerable and that's just the truth, they rather keep someone like that in the bro zone or as a bestie. They will tell you they like guys that opens up about their feelings, but subconsciously they don't like it when you actually do it

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2 years ago

Another man comfirms this .. most women will argue that this isn’t them until they actually do it .. I think they subconsciously do these things but will not admit it

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2 years ago

Men express their feelings quickly, which makes women question the credibility of these feelings, the female, although she feels attracted to someone, but she needs time to make sure that he is a suitable person. As for being vulnerable it means that we want the man to feel confident and comfortable to share his feelings with his partner and talk about his feelings with her and not turn to a child who needs to be cared for

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2 years ago

Hmmmm okay I get you now First I have learnt something from when you say we express our feelings too quickly which makes these women doubt the credibility of it.. noted Also what you are saying is you are okay with him vulnerable but not being a baby about it

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2 years ago

Exactly !! You really got it in the right way

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2 years ago

Guy this is absolutely true. Ladies tend to loose interest when they see some certain trait of weakness. Do you that 90% of ladies like going for "rough guys"? They look at it as the guy has power, brain and hotness to secure them. I've experience where I couldn't win a Lady's heart because I was showing too much affection and I know she saw it as being weakness.

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2 years ago

Yeah you are right .. it has happened to me quite a number of times … I don’t know what it is exactly.. but I know women are kinda hard to understand sometimes

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2 years ago

Hmmm, ladies? I wouldn't advise anyone to be vulnerable before them cos that's how they will keep seeing you if at all you have overcome that particular issue. Some ladies liken it and wouldn't go around about it again but many won't ooo

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2 years ago

Exactly my point most ladies say they are okay with it now.. but in the long run their perspective of you Changes because of that moment

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2 years ago

As a man, I think being vulnerable is no problem at all. We are just a person who can feel weak, sad, and fear. If a girl doesn't accept it, then I know she's looking for a perfect man without faults. And that would be her problem later on.

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2 years ago

Yeah you are right .. if she doesn’t appreciate your true form of emotion then you shouldn’t be with her in the first place

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2 years ago

The problem is if you find yourself vulnerable even once, then better be prepared to be hearing it from her every time you make her upset. She will always find a way to leverage it, and make you look weak, that's why men don't tend to show.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Exactly she would constantly remind of that one time you weren’t you 😅

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2 years ago