Dedicated to women in controlling relationships.
You misunderstood man-hood. Love has no place in your heart. You don’t know the value of a woman. You understand marriage as ownership of another human. Allow me to show you your mistakes. Perhaps one day you will be a better man for your own sake.
I tried, but you’re no longer here in body and mind. I’m alone next to you every time, alone at home every night. Your hearing impaired when I try to talk to you. I’m invisible when I need you. I’m under your foot and can’t move. My heart desperate for you to see my pain. My mind racing, trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. I wondered if you were with another, would you be the same as you are with me?
Where’s the charm? The gentle-man with a wide smile, who made me breakfast in bed with a coffee well brewed. The man I thought I will be with, for a long time, walking hand in hand in every-sweetness and bitterness of life. Together till we leave each other, for death is not in our control. When we finally got married, it thrilled me to be your wife; I was proud of you in front of my friends and family.
If only I knew there was another side of you hiding like a wild animal hunting a prey in the dark. I blamed myself so many times for the change in you. I believed everything you say about me has caused you to act the way you do. Every time I tried to fix myself, there’s always something else I need to change. Over the years, Ive changed until I no longer recognised myself, until I surrender to your will and accept I’m the reason for all the mess..
Say goodbye and I’m gone. Take one more look before I vanish.
There’s no time to correct my mistake. I’ve wasted so much time arguing with you. Years of love lost, wasted away in your ocean of ego and narcissism. It’s too late to shed tears, too late to apologise, no sorry is enough to soften my heart.
Tomorrow is another day. Life might turn out great for you if you change your ways.
I don’t want to turn back time, I’ll lose my mind. To change my mind is to humiliate my dignity and my wish for a new life, a new start, in freedom and in peace. I’m sure everything will be alright, and if not, that’s fine. I’ll accept I have to fight another fight.
I’m looking for me, the girl from across the street. She was innocent and gentle; She got swept off her feet by an eagle, only to find his claws tight on her heart, and she couldn’d released herself back to her being.
You turned me wild in your hands. Here I am, soft in touch, harsh at heart. I Bloomed into an opium, as resentment took over my heart, and ripped me apart. Life is hard for any girl looking for a knight to save her heart. But this girl can swim in the dark.
A woman so gentle from the outside and wild on the inside. When the cup got full, there was nothing to catch the wildness of flames.
I’ll sleep in peace, as you count the sheep. Staring at the ceiling of your room, alone and broken, regretting what you did. And I cannot undo that for you, not the least.
My sanity at the front line, fighting a battle of endless confusion and regret. I cannot answer anymore questions, on what went wrong. All I want is you and the past gone. I just want a space to breathe so I can live. I can no longer accept I am the reason you are the way you are. The air filled with your smell I can no longer bear.
For god’s sake, I shall continue to smile and wish for myself a life of happiness and bliss. What might worse than this, living a life of despair every minute of the day. Wishing for you to change and to see a bright future for us both to enjoy, where our love will flourish with no hate, no pain, and no blame.
All my life I pampered you from my heart. Loved you with all my heart, with no strings attached, and no conditions that can break our bond. But you choose to be a man with a cruel heart, you choose to break me apart.
There are no regrets. What was in the past has gone with the wind. I will still smile and wish myself good luck.
Now, I’m like a crystal glass, shattered into pieces that you can’t put back. You ended our love and marriage with no one to mend it.
And I found the strength to walk away without a goodbye and without hesitation.
Copyright: @JoyOfWomanhood 2021
Pfff... This article oozes pain, anger, resentment, dissapointment and whole parade of other emotions. I can't imagine a man being thát much of an @$$h0l3 that he evokes this much in his, i guess now ex, wife. I used to think, and kind of want to think still, that most if not almost all men are nothing like the one that did this to a woman, you.
Personally i can't relate t.b.h. as i was kind of on the opposite side. My wife abused my love, trust, and vows as she cheated on me, treated me condascendingly, and ultimately broke me during the 4 years we were married. (not nessesarily in that order). And even though i hate myself for it, if i meet her because of stuff we need to do or sign or whatever for our son, i always feel like the day we first kissed. I'd forgive her if i believed she would sincerely wanted to fill the chasm that's between us....