This Hideous Imagination That I Have

Have you ever had a day in your life where your imagination is just so creative that it takes you everywhere? You go from one place to another and do impossible things. It suits how it's called by its definition, clearly.

So since I got nothing to do pretty much the entire day and that just how my life goes, this crazy brain creating scenarios goes beyond reality and I find it hideous sometimes. Check that, almost everytime.

Here are some "what ifs" horrible moments my brain creates in a situation:

Falling objects on me.

3 days before writing this article, I went to a local department store here to look for a christmas tag and Ang Pao to give my nephews this Christmas. I was really doing good when I was on my way but when I'm about to step outside the store, my mind just ignites a scenario that huge air conditioners installed outside the building are gonna fall over me.

It's like a scenario of a movie "Final Destination" likes doing. I imagined the screws getting loose and these huge objects are gonna fall right after I pass by. It caught unto me so I hurriedly found my way to get out on that area.

Getting back to my senses, I know it's just a crazy imagination but these are ruling me, for real. Something must be wrong in me?

An intruder at home

This always gets me everytime I close the doors at night. My mind like to imagine that a gunman or a bad guy would randomly enter the neighborhood and ruthlessly kill people in series.

I imagined me being gunned at my forehead while my family members getting stabbed on their bodies. It's like a mass murder in the neighborhood, hearing gun triggers and people crying begging for their lives.

Natural disasters

It was 3 years ago when Mindanao region has experienced a series of thrilling earthquakes in no time. I remember it was around October to November 2019 when earthquakes never fail to frighten us almost everyday.

The level of anxiety during those days is undeniable. We find it so hard to sleep because anytime by then, earthquakes happen. It's really traumatic. And so, that anxiety was carried up to now. From time to time, earthquakes happen here and it scares me if a catastrophe happens. Anything is possible.

Most of the time I think something negative of what's going to happen in general. I think that every second the clock strikes, someone gets abused or killed, someone actually taking their own life, statistically saying.

I don't know, I have always been melancholic throughout my life. It's my nature to be sad and it lives within my soul. Or maybe this anxiety is refusing to get treated and just keep on acting up over me. These dark thoughts are overwhelming.

Thanks for reading.

Keep safe everyone!