Codependency or Interdependency: Which Relationship Fits You The Most?

Quick question, how many romantic relationships have you had? Were they all co-dependency or interdependency? Or you've had them all balanced? And if you will enter into a relationship, which one will you prefer?

Let's define and differentiate these two terms first.

Codependency.

This is a type of relationship when you guys depend on each other. It's like everything you do or whatever you decide with your life has something to do with the other. You are both dependent on each other. One struggles to face everyday battles without the other person's involvement. One depends on their self-worth to the other. Literally a famous statement of what lovers say "I can't live without you".

The benefit of having a codependent relationship is that it maximizes the support system you have with each other. It creates time and bond you have together and it leads you to know each other deeply by being aware of the differences in standpoints and perspectives in life.

However, the danger of having a codependent relationship is that when one realizes that they're both depending on each other and take advantage of it. The tendency is that the other one could be too controlling in the relationship which is no longer healthy.

It exhibits poor personal boundaries because one's decisions depend on the other even in self-care, you become anxious. It is more of putting the other's interest first before yours. People -pleasing, to be exact.

Interdependency.

This is a type of relationship by which both of you grow in your own separate paths and pace but still meet halfway and compromise with each other. Interdependent relationships give the persons involved the freedom to express themselves and by listening to each other with respect.

One functions even without the presence of the other. Each other respects space to be able to achieve personal goals but at the same time, still have shared goals for the relationship as the vision for the future. This is more of an ideal form of relationship because of the healthy boundaries it puts in. Respect, love, and understanding are there.

The danger of having an interdependent relationship is that when one enjoys too much personal time with themselves and they forget to check up with one another. Too much independence, leniency, and understanding could lead to falling out of love because they got used to not feeling each other's presence and support.

How will you handle these kinds of relationships?

Well, I guess you just have to find the right balance between the two. It is important to meet halfway and not settle too extreme of these spectrums.

You would want a healthy relationship that will constantly check up on each other but still respects individual spaces and time. The relationship also reflects on your personality and how you handle it both ways.

Personally, I am in an interdependent relationship. We both are not needy to each other. We don't demand too much attention and time for each other. However, I guess we've gotten too much practice of it that we no longer keep up with each other's lives every now and then. To be honest, it concerns me. The relationship was no longer in priority and we got used to treating each other's presence as the least priority.

Then again, I still believe that with open communication, we can still handle this. But thinking of the future, and visualizing it, I don't know if this works out because I feel like no one's gonna adjust to the situation. No one's gonna give up on individual's preferences and needs.

So how about you? Would you want a codependent or interdependent relationship?

Lead image source

Thanks for reading.

Keep safe everyone!