Love is sweeter a second time around

In a relationship, we cannot assure that all of it are happiness. We can encounter those ups and downs in a relationship. The sadness part. The heartache moment of a relationship. Now, the question there is that. How prepared are we if that instance came in a relationship? Are we willing to set aside our pride and still chose to stay in a relationship after encountering the lowest point of it? or Are we going to surrender everything we've started in a relationship just because we cannot able to cope up with the moment of heart ache? or How can we assure that the one we chose to be in a relationship with us will still chose to stay with us after encountering some problems and knowing the bad side in us? More so, if ever there's some instances that a mistake made by either parties, are you willing to give second chances to save the relationship? or Will your partner be also willing to gave second chances to you?

All of this questions are some of the possibilities that we may encounter if we are engaging in an intimate relationship. That's why we really need to prepare if this matters came once we are in a relationship. Because as I've said it's not about the happiness moments, time came that conflicts may arise in a relationship and we need to be prepare on how to handle it and decide on what's the best on both parties.

Love is sweeter a second time around.

Well, I believed in some cases on the thought. "Love on what I experienced was really sweeter on the second time." Why I said this? It's because there is this one time that I and partner had conflict because of another girl and I chose to gave him a chance and until now were still end up staying together the fact that we also knew our other side. Our bad sides from living in together for almost a year.

So, I just want to share my experience on why is there a second chances between us and how did I handle the situation.

When I said YES to my partner now, I really never knew on his background regarding his past relationships. All I know that we both just separated from our exes for not more than 5 months. I never knew as well whose his ex before he courted me and what happen to them why they end up breaking their relationship. But when I knew who was the girl, I found out that we both are practice teacher. Meaning, that time his ex was also doing a practice teaching and other than that we both assigned on the same school were we are doing our (on-the-job) training and that is teaching. (What a small world!) Which means were both in the same group. Well, I never felt that I had something to say sorry to her because in the first place I never took him to her because I knew my partner broke up with her already before he courted me. So, I guess I'm not lowering my pride here as a girl.

So, when my partner's ex knows that I was the present. There were really lots of things that she did that I chose not to confront her because I was being professional that time and I don't want to have conflicts on his ex because I knew in myself that I never took him to her anyway. It's my partner who chooses me instead of her. (chaarrssss...)

Yes, at this time when his ex did a lot of experiments for him to get back to her I also pushed my partner away from me and told him to get back to his ex because his ex was still craving for him and did everything to ruin us for him to get to her ex. But then again my partner only said to me that if he will still chose his ex he won't court me in the first place but then he courted me meaning he doesn't want to get to his ex again because as what he additionally said, he wants to respect himself since when he would chose to be staying again in his ex, he doesn't respect himself anymore. He said such thing because, the reason why my partner decides to cut his ties to his ex because his ex cheated him many times and his ex admitted to him that she was really cheating and got involved on other guy while there's in a relationship. That's why he never wanted to get back to his ex anymore because he want to respect himself. Therefore, I stopped pushing my partner back to his ex because he aske me not to do it since he will not going to get back to her. This ex of him as well, still did such things maybe she wanted me to confront her so that we can have conflicts but I just really kept my feet on the ground and I really never confronted her even my co-majors that time told me that I had the right to confront because I never did wrong to her in the first place. In fact, she's the reason why my partner chose me instead of her and never chose to get back to her.

His ex, texted and called my partner everyday that time but my partner ignored it instead he showed all his ex texts and calls and chats. I even teased my partner how handsome he was because he was being chased hardly by his ex.

After such, his ex stopped chasing him already. Maybe she's tired because was always ignored.

When the time of our 2nd shifting of the practice teaching I was then assigned into a school were far from the boarding house where I and my partner are staying. So, every weekdays I was at that assigned school and will just get back during weekends at my boarding house. At this time, his ex and I were not already on the same assigned school because as what I knew his ex was not doing the practice teaching seriously. But, at this time I never knew that his ex was bothering him again while at this assigned school were I'm far from our boarding house. One time, that was weekend of course I'm at the boarding house at this time with my partner. I borrowed his phone because he told he had a movie. So, I watched the movie on his phone but I don't have any intentions to checked his phone calls, texts and chats because I don't checking his phone for I felt like I'm not trusting him if I did and other that that, it's really not my forte to checked his messages or whatever it is in his phone that time.

So, while watching the movie. Actually, I had my other board mate who also watched the movie. In other words, we are two who watched the movie in his phone. Suddenly, while watching since the data was on, there was pop-up message from messenger from a group chats about their subject. But, this board mate of mine which was also a teacher already in the were we both attended and my co-worker now as well asked me to open the message and told him I don't want to because it's from a group chat though. But, he really insisted and his the one who opened the chats then he scrolled down the messages from the messenger and there we saw the name of his ex. Meaning they had a conversation. I asked my board mate not to open it but then again he opened it and we both read their conversations.

"The conversation about was of course the girl again asked my partner to get back to her because she misses him and my partner also replied asking the girl to come at the boarding house but the girl refuses to come because she wants, she will just come at the boarding house if only my partner would broke up with me and get back to her."

With what I read, the tears just suddenly poured down my face because I felt betrayed and I had in my mind that why did my partner asked his ex to come to our boarding house. My board mate just hugged me, after that and I told him what should I do. Then my board mate said, that I need to talked first to my partner before taking actions.

So, what I did I talked to him and asked him about their conversation and to know why he asked his ex to come in our boarding house when I wasn't there. He did explained the reason why he chatted back, he said it's because he was teased by his friends that time to get the revenge from what his ex did to her. He wanted his ex to felt the hope because he wanted to get revenge and in the end he will just dumped her since he was hurt on what she did to him. That's his explanation, but still I don't know that time if I believed him or not. I asked him to chose between us because in the first place I pushed him away though to get back to his ex and now he will did such conversation like that to her. What if the girl came at our boarding house, what will happen next? That was what bothers my mind that time. Good thing I found out early. So, I let him decide on what he really felt for me if he just courted me to be the puppet. But he cried, and asked forgiveness from what he did because he was just tempted that time. He told me that he will never replied on the messages of his ex and put an end to it because he said he doesn't want to lose me either. What he did is that, he broke his sim card in front of me and blocked the girl of his Facebook in front of me but before he blocked her he leaved a messaged to his ex to not chat him and ruined as again. But of course, since I was in pain, I really never talked to him for one week, blocked him too on Facebook so that he can't message me.

During that week, his ex chatted me asking sorry from all the experiments she did and told me that his ex which is my partner really chooses me instead of her because she said that my partner within that week that I never talked and chatted him went to her and said to stopped chasing him and stopped ruining us because he won't come back to her whatever she will do and will chose me over her. Also, she said thank you that I never confronted her and remained professional.

I was somehow touched by his ex message because I really knew how sincere my partner was on his apology from what he did because he really stopped ties with his ex. Maybe his ex was awaken after what my partner told her.

After that, we both achieved the peace we deserved. I chose to forgive my partner. His ex also stopped chasing him and stopped doing some experiments. I also knew later on that his ex was deactivating her Facebook account and she blocked me too on Facebook. Anyways, that's her way of moving on.

Then, we made our love to each other much sweeter on the second time.

Until now, I was glad that I and my partner lived peacefully. From our 3 years of being together that was the only conflict we had that involves another girl. Other than that, if ever we had conflicts it's about other matters. Because I told him that if he will get involved again for the second time on a girl, then I won't hesitate to cut our ties as well.

Life really made things that challenge us. Challenge the relationships we had to someone to test how strong it's foundation. If we can able to still maintain the spark after such unexpected black out.

Love, it's all what we need in this world. Any kind of love actually. But in terms of intimacy, love for me should remains or even gets bigger and bigger so that both will still ends up staying each other after every last breathe.

That would be all.

This seems like a long piece for me. But hopefully you'd still end up reading this until the end.

Have a great day!

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