The Reasons For Leaving

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Avatar for Jane
Written by
3 years ago

April 28, 2021

It's been three years, seven months, and seven days that I have been working abroad. The main reason why I chose Hong Kong is to have an easy step to Canada. Another reason is I want to explore different parts of Asia, then countries outside this continent. That was my dream, my goal, but as I stayed longer in this foreign land, I felt sad and lonely.

Then I realized that achieving dreams can't be called an achievement if deep inside you are sad and lonely. There are many ways to fulfill dreams and goals without compromising happiness. I may be happy while exploring this territory, but the happiness is just temporary. As I get back to my own cocoon, a feeling of being isolated and suffocated arises inside this weak body.

Is this really what I want? Maybe yes, maybe no.

Until now I still don't know my real passion, I still don't know where to land. I just keep on flying and searching for my ideal destination. I can't find the ideal one maybe because I am looking for something I want without noticing that the real one is just in front of me, and I am just ignoring it.

After the one-week ultimatum, I finally made an answer. Staying here longer won't help me fulfill my dreams and goals. It will only compromise my happiness, my health, and the opportunity to explore the world while I am still capable and kicking.

One week ago I was told by my boss to extend my working contract for another one year. She actually looked like begging me to stay. I can't blame her, as I became close to her family already. However, there are things that I don't like working with them. Something that runs in the blood of Chinese people.

They said they trust me, but NO, they don't. Well, they never trust Filipinos because of negative happenings in my country. They have visited different places in Asia, but they never visited the Philippines. Do you still remember the bus incident where a Filipino killed Hongkonger tourists inside the bus? It will remain forever in their minds. And the recent incident where a policeman killed a mother and son following a dispute. This family doesn't even trust their own family members, why would they trust others? That sucks.

And I have said to myself before, why would I work in a company or a place where people don't trust me? It just a pain in my ass. Maybe they trust me because I even extended my contract, but not the whole time, and I don't want to deal with that kind of attitude. And I proved that when the former caregiver went back to the Philippines and they talked negative things about her even if that lady has been so closed to them. She even called them mommy and daddy. But this couple never treated her fairly behind her back. And they might do it with me as well once I leave this house.

They lied in front of me. One thing I don't really like is when people are lying in front of me, and I apply this to everyone, not only to my employers. You can lie in front of me, but it doesn't mean I'm a fool to accept it. My mind will only say, 'I wasn't born yesterday, I'm not a fool as you think I am.' I will just ignore it because I never argue with them. I don't even want to talk as much as possible.

They don't value time. Before I thought that time is gold for Chinese people. Maybe it is, but as the kid said, "Chinese do value time, but you just meet a wrong family." The only person who values time here is the head of the family. Maybe because he is the one working and providing for their needs. He also valued money, as he started from scratch until he becomes rich. And I feel pity for him because his family doesn't value time and money that much.

They quarrel over small things and make it complicated. One of the Chinese attitudes is this one. Not only in this family, but some are even quarreling, shouting, fighting in the streets. They don't care about that because they own this territory. And I am a person who doesn't like hearing people shouting and quarreling over small things. Every time I heard them quarreling, I'm just pretending that I don't hear them. But deep inside I want to shout, "can you stop quarreling?" Of course, I won't do that.

They lack consideration. Another thing when they are quarreling is they don't consider the time. Sometimes they are quarreling in the middle of the night where it should be the rest time. I'm always like, "Hey guys I want to sleep, can you do it tomorrow morning?" But again, I won't say that to them. But deep inside I'm totally mad because the night is for resting and they should not make loud noises because even our neighbors can hear them as well. And I can't sleep well when they are noisy.

That's the main disadvantage when you prefer to stay in than to rent outside. If the rentals are not expensive, I wouldn't live with them because I know, they will not consider other people than themselves.

It's quite unhealthy living in a noisy place as I am a person who likes a peaceful one. Although I can control my emotion here, but it's stressful to my mind. But I am still thankful that one of the family members is always trying her best to buy my smile. And that's the only time that I am happy if I am with her. But then, I have a patient to handle so not all the time we can be together.

But if I will compare them to other families, I can say that I am luckier. They are actually good but of course with negative sides. They are generous in other things such as foods, but not with money. Lol

And I found the main reason to leave this place, I need to fulfill my ultimate goal without compromising my happiness and health.

I can travel around the world, maybe not this time, but in due time. And I need to work harder to achieve that, not in this place, but in a place where real love and happiness can be found - at home sweet HOME.

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3 years ago

Comments

Cheers! Wish you the best!

$ 0.00
3 years ago

i also felt that when i left the country and tried my luck in Australia but i think where i go i will have the same question. but the answer will still be the same maybe yes maybe no. why? because you are out there away from your family. anyway..may you find what you are looking for and don't forget happiness is within you wherever you go. keep fighting and keep on dreaming. <3

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Salamat

$ 0.00
3 years ago

i think the fighting is asian culture talagaa kasi kahit dito ang lala ng mga away kalye and away pamilya XD but it might be for the best that you come back here din. maingay din ata fam mo but at least their noises would be happy ones

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Maingay tlga si papa πŸ˜…πŸ€£ Pro iba naman yun.. Kaht ako maingay sa bahay lalo na kung pasaway mga kpatid k

$ 0.00
3 years ago

at least nga, masayang ingay sya, hindi yung ingay na nakakastress sa buhay. we don't need stress in life maliban na lang if mag aaway away kayo sa bahay πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Home will be waiting for you.. looking forward to the success of your project here so that you may be able to achieve your travel goals. True enough, halos lhat ng mga ofw's nacocompromise ang hapines just to be able to provide a comfortable life for their family lalo n sa mga pamilyado na

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Sana nga sis

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Tiwala lng😁

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I also want to travel the whole world.. May be that not possible.. But atleast some few dream countries... Family support is a key things for all of us.. Mainly in the time of mental depression... You write very well, so smooth writing that's why anyone can understand your feelings easily....

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Thank you 😊

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I'mm sure you will achieve your goals one day. But yeah, about sa mga Chinese, nakikita ko sa YT na kung mag away, wala silang dilikadesa. Sabagay, me mga Pinoy din naman na ganyan. And wag ka na mag extend. Pahinga ka muna. Sasakit ulo mo pag mag extend ka pa. Stay strong lang. Kunting tiis na lang.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Kya nga. Bka mas lalo ako ma nega kung magtagal pa ko dto.. Bka hndi ito ang work na pra sakn

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Kaya nga.. When ka nga uuwi? Basta, pagnakauwi ka na, sure ako di ka mabobored kakacheck sa market.. lol. :) Ang saya na ni BCH ngayon pero parang ang hirap na bumili.. mahal na..

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Umm.. people don't trust bangladeshies as well cause my country is 'NUMBER ONE IS CORRUPTIONπŸ˜‚πŸ€£'. And we don't have definte colour. Some are wite and some are black. Some are mixed like me. People often gets bullied if they are black and also because of their accentπŸ™‚πŸ™‚

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Hey I like your accent and the Indians too.. I dunno, i just like listening to that kind of accent πŸ˜…

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Real american makes funπŸ˜“πŸ˜“ I am still not gonna learn to speak like them. I will be me and I want people to recognise my ability to talk. Not accent πŸ€”πŸ€”

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Until now I still don't know my real passion, I still don't know where to land. I just keep on flying and searching for my ideal destination. I can't find the ideal one maybe because I am looking for something I want without noticing that the real one is just in front of me, and I am just ignoring it. ---dito ko nakakarelate talaga eh. πŸ˜…πŸ˜… my the sign that I'm waiting is gone though not yet 100% sure.

Grabe din pala mga chinese families ane. Kung mag away parang Filipinos din mas malala pa. Ayoko pa man din yung ganun yung gabi na tapos may ngwawala o ng aaway. Nakakastress na nakasira pa ng araw 😁😣 I dunno pero nafefeel ko yung excitement mong umuwi sa laat line ng article mo 😁😊

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Haha.. Mas excited ako mag freelance.. Tulog at gising kaht anong oras 🀣 kapagod kc dto

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Ay oo maganda mag freelance kasi hawak mo yung oras mo :)

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Sabi nga nila "there's no place like home".. And never forget to give yourself time. You have to think of your own happiness.. kahit nga minsan naaattach tayo sa work but wag kakalimutan ang main goal natin sa buhay. . Maybe you served long enough and it's time for you to leave..ingat sa pag uwi.. 😊

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Matagal pa haha..pro salamat

$ 0.00
3 years ago

You just gave me the reasons why I made the right thing in choosing not to work abroad. The way I see it, it is rare to find a country where Filipinos are not undermined, though I can't say for sure since I never got the chance to leave our country. I plan to go abroad sometime in the future, but only to tour and stroll. I plan to just work here till I get old in our motherland for the simple reason -- here, I'm respected and treated well based on my skills and capabilities.

If you can accelerate the process of getting back here, you really should. You're smart and well-skilled already, you can still get rich here by just working hard. Good luck, may you attain the happiness that you're looking for once you get home.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Not all places Filipino are undermined.. In some countries, Filipinos are respected.. Probably in the Middle East and other places. But you know how Chinese people think...

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Thank you so much for your generosity.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Hong kong is good place to get settle and your decision is good one if your dream is to visit asia it's not a big deal make your dreams come true by working hard in abroad and then it will give you peace and relief

Asia is beautiful place too visit but for business stuff it's not good choice in my opinion

$ 0.05
3 years ago

I actually to rest first before I decide where to go next

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I actually to rest first before I decide where to go next

$ 0.00
3 years ago

The reasons you enumerated here are all about the people you're working with and not about your search to fulfilling dreams and find true happiness in life. Your introduction seems to go that way and I was getting emotional reading until when you started telling the reasons the narrative changed. Nevertheless, you have the right to choose what is best for you in respect of the place you work. If it doesn't suit your personality you can work away.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

If you're not happy working in a place anymore, will you continue to work? πŸ˜…

$ 0.00
3 years ago

O wow...i can't even spend the next day withsuch family I would rather stay unemployed than to work with such people So do you plan on staying

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Godbless for you future endeavors ate. Mahirap talaga sa abroad lalo na pag work kasi madaming kelangan mo iendure, home sick, pagiging independent, pagiging foreign sa lugar. Saka yung magiging trato ng ibang tao sayo.

I also want to go on abroad for Leisure purposes saka business at kuha ng bahay lots.

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Magagawa mo yan.. Bsta my pangarap 😁

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Read that and you are right to not sacrifice your happiness. We have something in common travelling. Jane l love you more each day . if you want some peace , visit my country we can have fun there . dont be lonely people are kind and love foreigners . Tunisia is my country

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Am, are you the user before with KRPJ something? πŸ˜…

$ 0.00
3 years ago

So, sure na yan? Wala mg makakapigil uuwi kana talaga sa september? For good? Good luck πŸ™‹, matagal kana rin naman na jan it's high time na sigurong sarili mo naman ang sarili mo. Marami rin namang magandang opportunity dito. Lalo na sa bahay nyo, tas trade trade lang. Scalping baga. Like @Eybyoung ba. Busy na sya kaka scalp hindi sya nag online 😱

$ 0.05
3 years ago

Haha.. Yun nga eh.. Less hassle pa

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I appreciate your decision. We shouldn't live there where our hearts do not feel satisfied.

$ 0.00
3 years ago