Solo Exploration In The Giant City

June 4, 2021

The Run Away Girl Found A Job (Part 1)

The Suicidal Me

Days have passed and I was still jobless and lonely. The thoughts about the wasted time and opportunities kept on running in my mind. I was struggling with regrets and depression and even thought to commit suicide. It was my first time being too far from my family and not even sure if I will survive in the giant and most toxic city in my country. Manila the dream city of many, but what lies behind are millions of untold stories. Stories of struggles, suicides, corruption, crimes, poverty, a perilous place that a child wouldn't have happy childhood memories.

Who would have thought that I will live in a place that I dreamed to visit when I was young. But as I stepped into it, I have regretted dreaming about the city as I saw how tough life was inside my once dream place. All I have wanted was to end my strenuous journey and go back to my family, to my safe home. I attempted to suicide but was an epic fail. I thought of the pain once I cut my wrist. I thought of my family, my mother, that will cry so hard once she found my cold body.

I Was Saved By My Dream

In the corner of the darkroom I shed tears, I shed tears and made sure it will be all drained so that next time I won't cry again. With all the remaining hope I had, I tried to fight the monster clawing in my mind. I thought of my goal, my dream, my family, my brighter future. I did not give up and decided to get up and continued to pursue my purpose of staying in the giant city.

The Solo Exploration Begin

February 2017

I was still hoping that the HK Agency will accept my requirements. I searched the agency online and with the help of Google Maps, I explored the giant city and look for the agency. It was located in Makati and it was my first time stepping into this city. It was February 21 to be exact when I submitted my requirements. That day I've met applicants for Hong Kong and later I found out that they were from Samar too, and I felt happy.

March 2017

I was already bored and impatient staying inside my room the whole day. I was a bit worried too that the agency might ignore my application since I submitted my requirements too late. March 21, a month after my submission of the requirements. I did not receive any call yet from the agency. I was already worried. What if they rejected my application?

March 23, I got impatient, so I applied to another agency. March 26, I decided to follow up on my application and emailed the HK agency as well as my interviewer, but to no avail. There was no response so I called the agency instead.

April 2017

I felt happy when I received an email from the agency but I was disappointed to learn that my application was still pending. If I have only submitted my requirements the month of my interview, I should have an employer earlier. That was the biggest mistake I have done.

The co-Samarnon I've met already got an employer and will be going to HK by May. I envy her as she got an employer too quickly. That was because she submitted her requirements right away. It was my fault why I was still jobless by that time.

I searched for other agencies looking for Caregivers and I submitted my applications online.

Running Out Of Fund

My money was running out and I was ashamed to ask for money from my father since they also need money at home. His lending business did not succeed and what's left was my mother's store as their source of income. All I have were my gold jewelry I always bring with me wherever I go because I know it will be helpful in case of emergency.

I have pawned some of my jewelry to survive in the giant city and to continue my exploration and applications to different agencies.

May 2017

I just can't stay in Manila forever, so through the POEA site, I gathered all agencies in Manila accepting Caregiver applicants bound to Hong Kong. Instead of applying online, I visited the agencies one at a time, sometimes, if the agencies were just few walks away from each other, I will visit them all.

Why HK and not other countries?

Because HK is a stepping stone to Canada which was my dream place to work or to live.

While searching about the agencies, I found out that POEA was hiring Caregivers bound to Japan, my other dream place to visit. The place is located in Cubao which was quite far from the place where I stay, Taguig City. But with the help of the internet and Google Maps, again, I searched about how to get to POEA. I gathered all the requirements and submitted my application the next day. The staff told me that the result will be released after a month.

But I don't want to rely on it, because my expectation might fail again. So I continued applying in other agencies bound to HK. I got into places like Makati, Pasay, Padre Faura, Pedro Gil, Quirino, BGC, Ermita, and other cities of Metro Manila and the farthest one was Cubao.

Waiting For The Dawn

After a long and tiring day, I always found myself sitting along the bay behind Mall Of Asia, and the terminal for jeepneys going to Taguig was located just beside the Mall. It's a perfect place to wait for the sunset. I was alone, while people around me have their own company - couples that are sweet with each other, a group of friends playing around, kids running with their playmates, and parents are so keen and vigilant watching over their kids.

Each time I saw the sun going down, I felt sad with the thought that time flies so fast and I was still jobless. For how long will I wait? I always ask myself.

One day my father called me and told me to go back home. But I don't want to give up because I have traveled a long journey already. I don't want to waste my efforts anymore and I might miss another opportunity.

A Call For Duty

My previous employer in Tacloban City called me one day and asked me to go back to my duty because they were having difficulty finding a reliever. But I didn't and just stayed in Manila.

I received several calls from different agencies and I thought I'll gonna have a job already. I answered different interviews through my phone, but all were looking for a babysitter, not a Caregiver. Of course, I have rejected all.

Until one day I found an agency, they were conducting interviews by that time. With no hesitation, I went inside and submitted my resume. It was an interview where I need to face a camera and everything was recorded. Because of my educational level and job experiences, the interviewer hired me on the spot and he told me to wait for a call the day after.

The next day, my supposed to be employer in Hong Kong called me for an interview. She said I will be going to take care of her mother. BUT, at the same time, I will help them with cooking and doing other chores. At first, I said yes even though I'm not good at cooking because I was desperate to get a job. But later when I was about to submit my credentials, I wasn't feeling well and my mind was telling me not to pursue it. I thought of it a million times if I will pursue it or not. And my instinct felt something bad about my soon-to-be employer.

The job order was already there, why do I need to be choosy?

To be continued...

Lead image source here