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What If I Talked To Him Nicely?

***September 24, 2021*** Time of writing: 3 pm 09/23/22 "*Miss, why are you afraid of me*?" The first words he uttered when he suddenly appeared beside me. Do you still remember the story of Bella and John? Where I shared a photo of the building's rooftop next to us and where John spent his vacation in my fiction story. https://read.cash/@Jane/12-days-with-him-bella-6699963e

There’s a story I haven’t shared here before because I feel like it doesn’t make any sense. But after the encounter with this guy this morning, I feel like it would be better to share this story that is based on my real-life experience so I can read your words about it. It was September 2017 when I first set foot here in Hong Kong. I was in innocent bliss and had no idea of what to do once I stepped out of home alone on my day off. I was lucky in the first two weeks because the former Pinay worker was still with me and she taught me about how to ride the MTR, bus, etcetera. Unfortunately, in the third week, I was left alone and all I knew was to go to Saint Theresa Church, a walking distance away from our house.

One beautiful day, the sun shone so brightly and I tried to feel positive despite the worries hidden within about the consequences that I might encounter later that day for walking on the street alone. I passed by the front of the next building. There I saw a man standing outside the building and I knew from my first impression that he's Filipino because of his physique. He's muscular in his 30's, I guess, and only a few inches taller than me. He's quite dark, not as handsome as James Reid, yet not as ugly as the pervert addict on the street, just a decent simple ordinary guy. If I'm not mistaken, he's working as a family driver and a gardener. Don't dare to underestimate the Filipino drivers here, because their salaries are twice bigger than ours. And some even have high professions in the Philippines but opted to work here for higher salaries, and HK is a stepping stone to Canada. As I walked in front of him, it seemed like his eyes were focused on me because I could see him from my peripheral vision. I got intimidated by his sights and I looked at him and our eyes met. I thought he would cut his eyes off me, but no, he didn't, and it was me who averted my eyes. Maybe he was thinking, "*Who is this new girl in town and my new neighbor?"* And since I am not friendly with men, I just ignored him and continued walking. Days went by and I always passed by their building whenever I went to the bus station. Most of the time, he isn't around, probably doing some errands, and I feel glad about his absence. But every time he is around, it seems that he can't take his eyes off me. The longer he stares at me, the more I feel intimidated and irritated. One thing I hate the most is when someone is looking at me intently, and even at work if my boss is supervising my work because I feel like I am not reliable enough. Moreover, I easily get distracted when other people gaze at me as it can ruin my mood and concentration. Who doesn't get irritated when there are eyes focused on you? I guess you don't like it either. So whenever I saw him outside their building, I would always walk on the other side. Perhaps he noticed me being distant. And oftentimes, I would look at him harshly with raising eyebrows or frown at him to cut his eyes off me. He seems like a mute who can't speak when I am near him and opt to only stare. Months and years have passed, it becomes the scene whenever our eyes meet. One sunny Sunday, was a happy day for me because I could walk under the bright weather. I opted to visit the nearby city where my favorite park is located. Unexpectedly, I spotted him standing outside the building. He seemed to be waiting for me outside the gate just so we could be together. When I crossed the road, he crossed as well and we walked together on the small path. Since I was ill at ease while walking inches away from him, I slowed my pace down so he could walk ahead of me. He probably noticed my slow pace and he slowed down as well. I got irritated so I raised my umbrella to look daggers at him and then I walked fast so I could get ahead of him. Another unexpected event happened when I was hanging out in the park. I got busy playing with my phone after taking my lunch. I was watching a funny movie and apathetically laughing on the bench with my headset on. Suddenly, my homing instinct snapped at me and urged me to look around as if some eyes were gazing at me. I scanned the place and on the bench adjacent to me, there I saw him staring in my direction. I lost my mood and hastily packed my stuff and left because it was time to eat dinner as well.  Then I suddenly thought, "*Is he a stalker*?" *But why can't I look straight at him*? An answerable question that suddenly formed in my mind. But it could be more embarrassing if he saw me laughing out loud carelessly. I went out the gate one day to do my usual routine. I saw him talking with the Chinese driver outside the garage. He just suddenly ruined my morning and I hurriedly crossed the road and he shouted at me, "*Miss*!" But I just ignored his call and I continued my pace. The next day I passed by the building and I was glad to see no trace of him outside the garage. As I stepped foot in front of their garage, I was startled to see him standing inside the open garage right beside his boss' car with his arms crossed in front of his chest. I acted normally because he might think of malicious reasons why I was hostile towards him. I seemed to be waiting for him to speak because he called me the other day. But he said nothing. He's like a mute lamb when I am close to him, but he would shout when I am far from him.  I just said in my mind, "*Hey Kuya (older brother), if you want to get my number, then speak up*. *Stop staring there because it's intimidating*." I was so full of myself, my hair was even short back then, haha. In four years of being neighbors, we always met on the road but we never talked to each other, even casually, just like what we normally did to co-Filipinos abroad as part of being hospitable. Just this morning, I was on my way home from the nearby city when all of a sudden, raindrops profusely fall like cats and dogs. I was using my phone so I lowered my umbrella so it won't get wet. When I got to the intersection road, it seemed like a pair of eyes were staring at me, my instinct is positive most of the time. I tilted my umbrella a bit and looked at the building on my left. And there I saw him standing and our eyes met again. I even thought that he might ask me to share my umbrella with him, d*mn, I won't gonna do that.

I lowered forthwith the umbrella and cut my eyes at him. But the rain got heavier, so I opted to stay at the other building connected to where he stayed and waited for the rain to recede a bit. I lowered the umbrella even more so that he could not see me. A few minutes later, I was startled by a manly voice from someone standing next to me. "*Miss*." I lifted my umbrella and unexpectedly saw his eyes but I hastily averted my eyes and cursed him in my mind. "*D*mn, does he want me to share my umbrella with him?"* And it was like I really wanted to curse him badly. Then he asked. Him: *Miss, why are you afraid of me?* I didn't seem to be able to answer right away and slowly processed the question in my mind. There was a short pause. Me: *Why should I be afraid of you?* And I try to cover myself with my umbrella just to avoid his eyes. But he happily peeked and spoke again like a child who couldn't stand up properly when he saw his crush. He would swing his leg in the rain not worried that his shoe might get wet. Him: *Because every time you see me, it's like you're afraid of me.* My mind: *I'm not afraid of you, I just don't like you staring at me. Leave now, please.* I became adamant in his nonsensical questions and I intentionally released a hostile tone of voice. He might think that I like him because I'm always avoiding his eyes. But I also thought he likes me because he keeps on staring at me every time I pass by him. My mouth: *I just don’t like talking to others!* He took a pause and said... Him: *Sorry ha.* Then he left without uttering any words again. I waited for the rain to subside and had a last glance at his location before I left the place, but he was gone. I only saw this scene in a TV series, but I experienced it, lol. He was so full of himself and even had the audacity to confront me, conversely on my part, I didn't have the guts to ask him why he kept on staring at me as I was caught off guard.

I suddenly felt a pinch in my chest about what I had done and it seemed like I was so harsh to him. That is perhaps the reason why I don't have male friends, (except in college) because I'm talking harshly to them. Probably because I don't want to fall for them 😅. And one of the male users here can attest to it. And because of what I did, he probably won't stare nor talk to me again. What have I done? Am I too harsh? Haha What if I talked to him nicely? What will happen next? Argg.. I don't want to know, lol. Just another nonsense article again, sorry for stopping by, haha.

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