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@Jane

A Message From My Boss

August 4, 2021 "You're not getting any younger, you should get married already." *Is marriage really necessary to our lives? Can't we just stay single forever? No worries, no burdens, no responsibilities?* It was Saturday afternoon when my boss and I, walked to the near city to buy something. I took the opportunity to tell her that I will be sending some of my things on Sunday to the Philippines. I just don't want them to think negatively about my actions, so I always ask permission before carrying out anything. I'm also transparent as I don't want her to think that I took something from her belongings, so I told her to check my stuff at night before sending them out the next morning. That would give me peace of mind because she has an attitude that I don't like, and she never fully trusted anyone even her own family members. Then she suddenly talked about something not related to my topic. She made a long pause before she talked and she looked like something was behind her mind that she wants to express. It's quite sad actually that I'll be leaving their family very soon as they became attached to me and I became part of their family already. She always told me that she treated me like a daughter and sometimes advising me about things that I need to do for my life. Although there is some attitude of her that I don't like, she's a good person and never shouted or hurt me physically like what other HK employers do to their employees. "*When you go back to the Philippines, you get married."* That's how she started our conversation about marriage. She doesn't speak English fluently so I'm always adjusting and trying to understand what she wants to deliver. Sometimes, I speak Chinglish every time she can't comprehend well what I am trying to convey to make our conversation more comprehensible. Back to our conversation, my first reply was "*I don't have a plan for that yet, maybe in the future."* And she asked me about my age and I told her about it. "*You're not getting any younger, you should get married already."* That's what she told me. At the back of my mind, I truly understand her point but I prefer to listen to her explanation as we seldom talk longer. ***She told me that it's difficult to get older without anyone beside us.*** Just like what happened to my male boss' brother. He died alone at his home because no one was there to rescue him when his illness deteriorated his body. She also shared another story about her spinster relative who lived in her sister's house. But her sister keeps on complaining about the water and electricity she spent while living in her house. In my mind, I was asking, "*Is that really how they treat their relative?*" Then I jokingly told her, "*I'll just gonna adopt my niece so there's someone who will take care of me when I grow old."* But then she disagreed with me. Her explanation was true, I admit. She said that our relatives, even our brothers, and sisters, as well as nephews and nieces, are changing once they have their own families already, or once they achieved something in their lives. She set her nieces as examples. She said that she loves her nieces so much when they were younger and she's giving them anything since she was still single back then. But when they grow up, they can't even reply to her messages or greet her happy mother's day, happy birthday, or whatsoever. Because they are all busy with their lives already, and they almost forgot her sacrifices for them when they were still young. I felt sad while listening to her stories. And I know that it is happening. That is also how I felt every time my family forgot to ask me if I am okay and they will only remember to message me when they needed something from me. Our conversation continued and she was really pushing me to get married once I get back to my country. Then I told her my side. I said to her, "*it's not easy to get married and everything will change once you have your own family already. Because you will not be thinking about yourself anymore, you need to consider your family and need to work for them. Besides, I still have many things to do and I still want to visit other countries*." I told her that I still want to work in Japan or Canada, but then she said. "*Yes, you can. But get married first, have a baby, then go back to work."* I laughed at it as if it's so easy to do. And she added, "*trust me, you are like a daughter to me, and I am advising you like a mother. We all need a family to become happy. That's human life.*" My mind first reacted to her words, "*wow madam, where did you get those words especially the human life* 🤣🤣." You know my mind is really philosophical and that was the first time that my boss said something serious and our conversation took longer. She also added something about "***Karma.***" She said that the Chinese believed in karma and as she said, "***you are a good person, you will marry a good person too.***" That's when the **Law of Attraction** came into my mind, *if you think and do positive things, then positive things will come to you*. Although I know that not all good people found their perfect match. Some were even abused by their partners, and that's one thing that I am afraid of. Some got terrible lives because of the path and partners they have chosen. And as a person who experienced a lot of suffering and pain, I don't want to make a wrong decision when it comes to choosing the person to be with forever. I don't want to have regrets, most especially, I don't want to experience pain anymore. But then reality hits me and it was sad to know that, ***I might don't feel real happiness*****.** ***Is it really necessary to build a family to become truly happy? Can we even live longer alone?*** I know that you know the advantages of having a family. And I know that you know the disadvantages of living alone until we get older. And that's a painful part of my life that I need to withstand. Our conversation ended when we reached back home. And I just told her, "*I'm not sure about marriage. Maybe in the future, but not now.*" But she said, "*do not say maybe, be sure to get married*." And that's when something came to my mind, but of course, I didn't tell her, lol. "*Madam, why married right away, can I find a boyfriend first*?" 🤣🤣 That's all folks! Thanks for your time. What can you say about this conversation? Share it below. So I should also check our conversation. Lol.

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