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I walk alone in the road. I am so sad. I don't know. I want somebody to lean on. I want somebody to listen the burdens I have but I'm really afraid. I'm scared about what they are going to say. I don't want to hear painful words. I'm really stuck with this kind of place with a biggest torn.
Here, I'm in my way to home. I want to tell my parents about this but turns out into crying. They don't have a time for me. They ignore me. I'm just a 14 year old girl that seeking a precious time from my parents. I try to talk to them but what happen they don't even care. What is my mistake? I called them three times but they are like living in the other world that don't even see me. I am the only one but I don't get it why I need to experience like this.
There's nothing else I can do but I went to my room. I sit there in the corner without a lights. I'm so sad and crying a lot. My tears from my face, drop on the floor. It's really hurt. I don't understand what is happening now. Am I deserve with this? I want an answers. I cover my face with my wet hands because of the pouring tears. I'm frighten and I feel that no one love me. Who am I? Am I not enough? I don't hear even a single word from them. I will go to my bed and I want to sleep. I'm really tired with these tears I have everyday. I get my blanket and cover all my body but I'm still crying. I wipe it how many times but it's still continue.
It's already in the morning, I get up and I don't know that I slept already last night. Here I am again with this kind of emotion occurs again. I'm really afraid to get out my room but I need to try. I get up and walk straight at the living room. I curious since no one is here. Yes, it's Monday, my parents go to work again. I understand now, why I don't hear any voices. Here sitting at the sofa and I'm so sad again.
I'm eating alone now and looking inside our house. I don't have any strength right now. I feel weak. My hands are shaking and I don't know why. The pain stuck into myself. Yes! I'm tired with this! I want to end this emotional burdens I have! When this will be end? The bulky problems I have. Why I need to suffer like this? I call them at many times but they don't even answer my calls. It's always been rejected. I'm crying again. I will go to my room now. I will lock myself there. I don't want to see in the outside. It's makes me more scared.
I'm lying here at the floor and looking at the ceiling. I'm imagining things that I know it's really impossible from them. No! I'm crying again. I want to stop it since it makes me down into the darkness. Imaginations lead me to heartache within my whole body. I hate this kind of self I am. Imagining things give me a thousands of broken glasses.
You know what, I just want only a real happiness in life with my parents! I know it's really impossible. I want to feel that somebody care to me. I understand they need to go for work in order for us to survive but it's just a one day request and no one hear me. They are still my parents. I don't want to feel anger to them but I'm sorry I feel it right now. I ask them everyday but why. Is it really hard? Even just one hour to spend some time for me. I envy to all my friends.
This is my life full of heartaches. Tears are always been part of me and it never walk away from me. Everyday is a painful moments. You can always feel the pain. There is something in my heart that I cannot explain. I'm always alone. Lock in the room. A lot of thoughts in my mind that without any answers. Sometimes I think I am dreaming but it's a biggest mistake. It's real, it happens to me right now. I'm hoping that this is only a dream but I'm wrong, a totally wrong. I'm awake right now. This is the life I don't want to. Why I need to face it? Why I need to encounter like this? The weakest and most painful parts happen in my whole life!
I want to shout out right now! I want it, "Please Enough!". I don't have anything to ask for but the "Attention" from my parents. I need your attention Mom and Dad! I want it! I'm tired already for this. Please! I love you!
Thank you so much. I hope I give you some thoughts with this article of mine.