In whatever way you can...

Do you agree that we should help people in whatever way we can or is it the one that says help people the way they want to be helped? There are different ways of giving help to people and while some of us think we're helping in reality we are just making things worse, because that's the way the person wants to be helped.. As people, knowing the difference between what we want and what we need saves us a lot of trouble, and while it isn't our place to decide what others want or need, there are situations where we might as well decide for them. Such situations is when they come to us for help and then you realize that what they call trouble is actually something easy to solve, and maybe that could be the reason why they came to you in the first place for help because they trust your perspective. However, in some cases the help people seek is not what they need and only then do you have the right to truly help them, because what people need is beneficial to them especially in the long run while what they want isn't always better for them.

I can give a very basic example on this :

A man comes with say, serious financial problems to you for help. Sadly this person always has financial problems and always seeks financial help from people around him. Those who can help him do so but when he comes to you for financial help, you saw beyond the wants, you saw what the person needs and you saw that what he needs isn't money but a, sustainable source of income. You used your connections to get a job for this man but he says that he doesn't need the job as it is too stressful or that it is unbecoming of his status, while that is what he needs, that's not what he wants. He wants people to keep on giving him money from their own pockets and that's what he sees as help..

Another example is when your close friend gets into a fight with someone and comes to you who say, is in a position to help him fight the other person, not physically but in an authoritative way, you perhaps are a person who's in charge of an important part of their life and you could ruin it if you so wish, would you "help" your friend at the expense of someone else just to satisfy his ego or would you truly help him by talking it out with him and talking things out with him and try to dissuade him from doing something extreme?

Beneficial help doesn't come with expenses, either at the cost of someone, yourself, or the person who you're helping. Some helps people offer can affect the person in the long run, the person helping may or may not know this but the truth is that whatever actions we take have consequences, especially if there's someone else involved, help or so-called help is no exception.

Of course it is not our place to decide what or what not a person wants or needs. People are aware enough to know that, we can decide to help them if we talk things out with them as to why they want your help, you might learn a lot from what they have to say or it can be the other way round for every opportunity is an opportunity for learning, but when things contradict with your beliefs, it is best to decline as it can haunt you if things don't go well in the long run, which is an expense that is I think far greater than anything worth compromising.

Thanks for reading.

Originally posted here