Talk to your sons

We know the truth but are blinded by culture and beliefs. We seek liberation but dance to the sound of shackles. Rather than kill the pestilence pest that has eaten deep into our youths, we are trying to patch up the cracks in the walls with excuses.

In recent weeks the issue of rape and other Sexual Assaults have been raging like wildfire in the country (Nigeria). The ladies cry out for help and protection against the Monsters we have outside and inside. Each day in the dailies you will read news of Uncles taking advantage of their nieces, a boy harassing his cousin, neighbours raping each other's daughter.

The annoying part about this is the excuses given for the men doing such- you will hear them say "Don't blame him that much, it isn't easy , body no be firewood". This pisses me off anytime i hear it. Why try to cover up the offence of an Animal in human form with such flimsy excuse?.

-When it happens in school

We blame the student's mode of dressing and say she tempted the teacher

-When it happens in the family

We say what happens in the family shouldn't be known outside.

-When it happens in churches and mosques

We say we all are sinners-"let he who is without sin be the first to cast a stone"

-When it happens at work

We say it's life-"You use what you have to get what you need".

Shame on you all! Shame on you! . We've failed to tackle this menace for a long time and now our sons are taking it from where we stopped and are even going steps further than their fathers.

I believe we've given the male child a sense of entitlement. A feeling of Dominance- having whatsoever he wants not minding the consequences. I'm not going to touch the issue of gender equality or feminism. No! It's a journey i'm not ready to Sojourn on at the moment.

I watched a video recently of a boyfriend beating his girlfriend with his friends helping him in adding more lashes to the "never-to-remain-the-same" back of the girl. I won't be surprised if the guy beats his wife when he finally get married , neither would i be any less surprised if the girl in question go back to the guy the next day.

I tried to wrap my head around this, to see where we got it all wrong. We have people who spell Sex with a sign (*)replacing the "e" - S*x. Some people exclude themselves from any conversation that involves talking about the topic to youths all in the name of "Sex is sacred ". So many Notions has been pushed to have Sex education as a Subject in our schools. But as an upright country with "Religious beliefs" and standard, it isn't ideal.

I wonder what these people see in the mirror anytime they check themselves. Do they see a Joker? . Because that's what they are. These children have the internet at their beckon call. They have access to videos you would never thing of. So why push them to learn from the internet which does not end well , when you can just sit them down and talk to them and advice them?.

How would you feel if your daughter was harassed and the public blame her for dressing that way or for going out?.

Teach your sons to respect ladies. To keep his zip up and save his family from shame and ridicule.

Teach your daughters to have self-esteem and worth. They shouldn't go running back to a relationship where they are taken as a punching bag.

"Every relationship has it ups and down" you'd say. Please tell me or help me calculate the probability that she won't be beaten like a drum after marriage when she's being battered each day while still dating?

Image source

When issues like this happens- let's say rape. Let's try to save our reproach and blames for something else. Don't go about blaming the Victim. Don't say stuffs like:

"Why did you dress that way"

"Why were you collecting things from him. Good for you"

"What were you doing there"

" You know he is a man with sexual desires"

"Sorry, is it not just sex , at least it isn't your first time"

"Don't blame the guy, the girl is beautiful that's why"

Don't say word like these. It only increase the hurt and emotional trauma the victim faces. It makes people shy away from opening up when they are being harassed.

Try to talk to your Sons. Tell them how inhuman it is to indulge in such act. We can change this nation. It starts from you . It start from your home.

Thanks for reading!🤗