Heartbreak hurts and can have lasting damage

The feeling of being a victim of a broken relationship is surreal, it sucks you dry and feels like you've been on an emotional roller-coaster ride. You start questioning yourself and your love life, maybe your partner wasn't the right one for you, so you question everything.

If only things surfaced before the actual break-up happened, then half the worries that went through one’s mind before would've been gone. One would know what went wrong and how to fix it.

A friend who won "couple of the year award" with her boyfriend back when I was In Yabatech sent a request to me on Facebook. After accepting I asked for her WhatsApp number and connected with her there. After exchanging pleasantries, I asked about her boyfriend but her reply shocked me. Few years back I could have bet with anyone that their relationship was going to end with marriage because the two were inseparable in school. She went on to narrate how he served her “breakfast” (Break up with her)

I didn't see it coming, I thought everything was okay. I was happy, we were happy. He had been acting different lately, which I ignored because I didn't want to acknowledge it. I always thought he was going somewhere when he left home, so I never asked where he was going. When we were in the house together, we'd fight but he'd never leave because even when we fought, we loved each other. I made excuses for him, like "he's tired" or "he's stressed".

I was making plans for our future and I never thought it would come to this; me being hurt by the one person who was supposed to love me unconditionally. When you experience heartbreak you doubt yourself and your actions and even though you don't show it, you internalize everything and you feel hurt because you've lost something that was so important to you.

I cried a lot after the breakup and sometimes I still do but it's not as often anymore. It took me a long time to get here but I'm here now, making new plans for my future and looking forward to what's next in my life.

It's easy to advise others when their partner cheats on them or breaks up with them, we see it as something minute and not a big deal until we experience it ourselves. Your heart races and you keep on asking why? Insecurity sets in, you start wondering why your partner left you, and you doubt yourself and feel inadequate.

You never know how much you love someone until they're gone and that is when you begin to realize that you still love them even though they have hurt you, so much so that you hurt instead of them. That is when you realize how much you care for them.

Heartbreak is a terrible feeling. It is difficult to live with a broken heart. You ask so many questions, who to blame and why? You're devastated by what's happening to you. When you get hurt, the first thing that comes to your mind is revenge. You want your ex to feel the pain you're going through and a part of you wants to see him or she suffer, but all that will do is keep you hurting and prevent you from moving on. 

If one isn’t careful, one loses his confidence. You feel you aren’t beautiful enough, you are not worthy or you don’t deserve happiness. You try to put the blame on yourself and wallow in self-pity.

It's hard to stop thinking about what happened but it's the only way you can begin healing. Before you go on doing things that may ruin your reputation, take time to assess the situation. Why did it end? If your relationship ended because of something simple you can try to fix it. But if it ended because there were issues within your relationship then it's time for you to move on.

For you to move on and let go of the pain it would be best for you to forgive your ex for all the mistakes he or she did to upset you. Forgive yourself too, because if you are angry with your ex maybe it is because of bad things that you did in the past. Once you can forgive yourself and your ex, then it would be easier for you to let go and move on.

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