Broken

I’m sorry for ghosting you when I shouldn’t. I know you tried your best to reach out to me but I kept blocking you. The thing is I’m not used to sharing my pain with others. I was brought up to take responsibility for my actions, face the repercussion of all actions I take with all dignity. You asking me to share my burden with you was new. Call me a coward, for I was afraid of showing my vulnerability to you. “Men don’t cry” but I wouldn’t have been able to narrate my ordeal to you without shedding tears. Shedding tears makes me feel naked- not that you haven’t seen my nakedness but this is different. It’s like going under an x-ray, being exposed and that’s a thing I fear.

I ended it with the same line my gender is known to use “…it isn’t you, the problem is me…” I saw the pain in your eye, saw the dark shadow and I could feel the beautiful petals of your heart dying. Though I pretended to be strong I was weeping - silent tears were flowing. For a moment I considered taking back my words. Telling you it was just another joke of mine, but just a look into your eye I knew there was no going back. I saw hate, regret, sorrow, love and sadness in your eye. Your eye pleaded but your veins speak the opposite. With shame, I turned back and let the tears flow. The tears blocked my vision but I could see your friends coming to comfort you. They said some bad things about me but that was the least of my concern. I go to the hostel and spent the next few days in bed. I only go out in the evening. You will wonder what’s I go out to do. I stalked you for weeks, trying to see if you’ve moved on.

Either of the two situations I was expecting will surely break my heart more. If you’re still sober, I will be sad- sad that I’m the reason for your pain and if you’re giddy- I’ll be sad you’ve moved on so quick. Of the two I think I prefer the latter. Better you move on with your life and forget about me. The quicker the better.

My academics was affected, friends deserted me and every single thing in my room was a constant reminder of you. I couldn’t help wondering “What could have been?”, “will things e different if I didn’t take such a drastic step?”… all these I never got to know.

I know it happened a long time ago and you’ve moved on with life. Moreover, we are no longer in school but I can’t keep pushing this forward. You deserve an explanation- that’s the least I can do. By the way, I saw you at the Bi-annual meeting of your firm and the fed. You look stunning as usual, even more beautiful than the last time I saw you. I’m not stalking you, I was just on a visit that coincide with a project launch I was working on. Okay! I can’t keep denying it, I’ve been stalking you on  Instagram and Facebook. I have to use a burner account most time. I can’t just help it. Lol

The 18th of June is a day I want to forget, next to the 20th of June that I broke the news to you. I was preparing for David’s party. Do remember those weird parties he organises?. lol. I heard a knock and went out to see who was at the door but I saw no one. Turning back I saw a shadow, but that was the last thing I saw. I woke up tied to a chair just like in movies, just that the hot slap that landed on my cheek was real, not like anything I’ve seen in movies.

In front of me was my uncle who you know is or should I say “was” my guardian. He played a video and in it, I was holding a knife with blood on it. The reality of what was happening dawned on me. I was being framed. I was asked to sign a document transferring all my share of my Dad’s property to him. I was meant to take over the companies after graduating but I signed it. He then warned me not to try to play smart, he threatened to hurt you and shared videos of you going to class, going home and doing some other activities. I didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t risk your safety or spread our family's dirty pants in the public, hence my sudden outburst on the 20th.

With the help of my cousin, I’ve been able to recover all that belongs to me and my uncle is where he ought to be. I believe I owe you an explanation and apology. I wish you the best in life and hopefully, someday we will be able to sit at a table together with no bad blood between us. Thanks.

Thanks for Reading! 💔💚💔

As usual, it’s fiction, though at first, I started with a near true scene but later I lost concentration and diverted to the usual Nollywood script lol. I hope it's worth the time spent reading.