20s

The twenties is one of the hardest parts of one's life. It’s a stage where one tries to discover their purpose. Some people are lucky to find their part early in life but just about 10% are on this list. If there’s any age grade that needs help the most, it’s those in their mid to late 20s. However, these are the same set of people that resist help the most.

This is a stage of taking decisions that will determine one’s path in life. While trying to find your way, other issues rises because it is believed that at your age you should be able have achieved certain things or be planning to. Some of these include:

Stable job

Even as a student in his twenties one of the things that bother one the most is what will I do? Consistency is key but to be consistent, there must be signs of things yet to come. I’m sure, this sound confusing but I’m going to explain it better. Once you start getting to age 23-28 you start thinking of doing something stable. You seek ways of earning and getting a stable income.

As expected, not all have a stable job as they would like, but they at least set a plan. They have a goal they are working towards. Some are eyeing a job after graduating, while some are doing something which might not be bringing in money for now but they believe will someday be profitable. That’s where the issue of Consistency comes in as mentioned earlier.

Consistency isn’t easy. To be consistent you need assurance or conviction that you’re on the right part. If the conviction is there, you will push on undeterred even when money isn’t coming in because you are sure it will pay someday. But as a youth, the conviction is always lacking which do lead to us quitting easily and when this happens people will say “he lacks consistency” not knowing that “Consistency” works hand in hand with “Assurance and conviction”.

Time

Time is another thing we believe we don’t have. All around we see things showing we are not doing enough, that we are far behind. You will see different videos online of 16-year-old kids making it big, some are into music, some sport and some into tech. It’s normal to start feeling down when these young ones are getting it. Impatience gets in and we start hating our birthdays.

Time is something we don’t have but at the same time have in abundance. Until we realize everyone’s time is different we will continue to navigate through life like the walking dead. When you keep on complaining about getting old, and not achieving what others have achieved you will remain stagnant. You can’t solve or change the past but thinking about it always will keep you on your track.

Housing and independence

I asked a friend yesterday. “When is the ideal time to leave one’s parent’s house”. He kept on talking about age and culture.

There is no ideal time of course, but it’s something honourable to do. Once you have enough money to stand on your own, renting an apartment is a nice thing to do... However, we youths tend to dream big. Instead of cutting our coat according to the material we have, we design a plan that the material at hand can’t build.

A typical example is James a 26-year-old graduate living with his parents. He plans to rent a 3 bedroom apartment worth $1200 but has just $700 which can only get a room and parlour. He decided to wait till he can gather up the amount he needs but ended up spending the one with him. His friend on the other hand rented a room and parlour at that time and started buying things one after the other.

At age 30 James is still in his parents' house while his friend who earns the same amount as him has a well-furnished house already.

The problem James has and most youths are battling is not starting whatever they plan with the little they have. It’s okay to dream big but be realistic. If you don’t work towards achieving whatever you plan now, you won’t achieve anything months from now.

Marriage

 This is the biggest headache for people in their late 20s. Will I make the right choice? Is this the right time to tie the knot? Is marriage a must? And many more. If you are from a country like mine-Nigeria, then be prepared to start answering questions from your mid-20s. Everyone wants to know when you want to get married. Who you are getting married to and why you choose to remain single till now.

Your parents will use every opportunity to remind you that you are still single. They compare you to kids your age that are married and try to match make you will every family friend’s daughter or son.

I feel the pressure from parents and family is something unavoidable for Nigerian youths but the way you react is dependent on you. Marriage is not something you rush into It’s beautiful and it’s nice to get married but never feel pressured to get married. It takes more than two people in love to get married, moreover, you are the one going into the relationship for life, not your parents, neighbours or relatives. Listen to their advice but the final choice is yours.

Thanks for Reading! 🤗 💚🤗