Where did my perseverance go?

November 2,2022

Hello to the awesome people of this site. How are you guys? I hope you are safe. Just last week was a devastation because of typhoon Paeng. All islands of the Philippines were affected. It was scary because we felt it too and I am living in Metro Manila. There are lots of heavy traffic and flooded areas too. There are lots of stranded passengers and affected families, even in evacuation areas. I hope the rain stops already. There is another typhoon that enters PAR today but it assumes to be weaken before it reaches us. Be safe always guys.

It is already All souls day guys, but my topic is not about though. I had this thoughts while we had a total blackout last Saturday. I remember I was in grade school and was really working hard for my grades. I love having good grades and high grades gave me euphoria. During that time, I have a classmate who was close to me and we were seat mates too. Even though we are close I can feel we have a silent competition with grades.

She is rich, like she can afford even a tutor. The one that helped me with my study is my father back then and my mother is very supportive too with my school needs. When we receive our classcard I usually compare my grades to her. On 1st and second period, she is always higher. I get my momentum on 3rd and 4th period. My grades are higher to her by 3 to 4, and it always happen on the latter period.

When we reached Grade five, I told myself that I will always beat her with grades. I apologise for my readers for thinking bad about me, but that was the thing in the past even with your closest friends. Silent competition is always up there. It is what makes me truly happy.

When I was in 5th grade, I struggled with my plan. That was the time that family problems arises and studying makes it hard for me. I was always sad and emotional once I get home. Also, there was always a power outage in Metro Manila that time that during the night it makes it difficult for me to study my lesson. While the classmate of mine are living in a big house, with good supply of electricity, an air conditioning room and having her own room is an advantage because she can focus on studying, while I was in a small sala, my mother is doing the laundry beside me and my father cooking behind me because we only have small room.

I always sleep late because I make sure I studied well. My peace of mind is able to get good grades, higher than her and my big challenge is the power outage and when family problems arises. I was determined to get good grades. I always think having it will make me richer than her in the future.

I got my goal. On the first to 2nd period, my grades were higher by 1 or 2 digits and I made it to the top 4 and she is on top 7. I have perseverance. Being persevere made me reached my goal. Nothing can stop me dyeing that time, not even my parents quarrelling and the power outage. I am so determined and the challenges and difficulties are my motivation. I graduated with honors because of that. It was not easy but I did it.

Because of that story, I am questioning myself. Where did my perseverance go? I am born with kind of attitude but I haven't found it in me lately. I am missing it. I should have it. I should have it back.

Perseverance will make me go places but as of the moment I am stuck to daily routine that will not make grow. I never thought that I had gone bad when I grow up, that I took a uturn and the good habit didn't last long. Of course, not everything in life is cherry on top. Some reasons will change everything and there lots of things that are under our control. Whatever happen, I need to have my perseverance back. That is something lacking in me right now. I should have it once again. It should come back.

All images are from Unsplash

All Original Content by @Grecy095