I Wish Heaven have Visiting Hours...

February 8, 2022

I was okay when I woke up in the morning. I do my regular routine. I didn't wake up that early but I can say that I had prepared myself for work properly, mentally and physically and I able to play a little with my daughter dog Unnie. I went to work. There are less hassle going to work as I able to ride a jeepney as soon as I went to the street. I had a breakfast at my cubicle and I started my work.

While I was working, this song began to play. I am not aware of the title but the lyrics says "I wish heaven have visiting hours" . I know I already heard this before. When I am at my cubicle, to release the tension and stress from work, I play music. I open a certain website where I can play a radio. I searched Mellow Touch 94.7 because I love mellow music. I know that in this station, I heard this song lot of times before.

Just earlier, to satisfy my curiosity, I search the lyrics of the song. It is a song from Ed Sheeran. The title of the song is "Visiting Hours". From my search, the song is writen for music industry icon Michael Gudinski, who died in his sleep in March 2021. This song is one of the song he performed for Gudinski's memorial. The song is his tribute to music icon as he treat him as his second father.

Obviously, the song is about someone you love that had passed and you wish to see them again. If there is something as Visiting hours in heaven, everyone will surely take advantage and go there to visits their loved ones.

When I finally know the lyrics and what is the song is all about, I can't help but cried in my table. I was crying even if the song ended already. How could be a song will hurt me just like that? The lyrics are about worries and disappointments. It maybe about the words that are unsaid and some things was not done or could be done.

I remember my father. It is my number one broken heart. Something is lacking in life it literally leave a hole there because my father is not here anymore. I have to stop from typing this article whenever tears are falling on my cheek. It is the pain that will never be healed, I just need to live with it. I think that is true, when you lose someone things will never be back again, you will only live without it or with the pain associated to it.

My father is my comforter. He is very frank in telling the truth about my mistakes. He always hurt me with his words but I totally appreciate everything because without him for sure I will not be strong. I guess he knew he will be gone soon that is why he prepared me from it. He made me strong so that when the time comes I can stand on my own. I am not sure I can stand on my own, all I know is that I can live a life that is without him and I have no choice.

The song of Ed Sheeran is like my real prayer, that God allows me to visit my father there, even for one time because I want to see what is going on. If he is happy, I will be at peace, but if not then I make sure to do something about it. Unfortunately that is not how life is design. Once you are gone in this world, the only left are your memories inside the heart of the people who love you. You will only be alive in their memories. That is why while we are living, we should make good memories for that is the only one that remains. Wherever my father is, I am not sure if he knows what is happening to me but I will be strong for him and my family. I will cry it out and move on everyday, yet will still cry again and cry again because I always remember him. I am sad whenever I see someone is with their father because mine is no longer here.

I also feel sad for my mother during Valentines day because my father is not there anymore to hug and kiss her, or give her flower or cards, cook food for her, those things that my father does. I make sure that this continues while I am still living. Wherever my father is, I want him to be proud of me. I love him so much.

Sorry for making you sad about this post. It is not my intention. This article is not intended for today but because I heard the song Visiting Hours by Ed Sheeran I can't help but to share something in my heart. Before we part ways for now , let me say thank you to my sponsor and for helping me survive in writing.

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