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Whenever I need help I am not so used to sharing it to the people I love. I do not want to burden them with my dilemmas and personal issues but then right at this time I wish they knew everything that is going on me and help me.
One of the disadvantage of being strong is that no one checks on you if you are still okay. No one would dare to look you in the eye to read your emotions or even hold your hand so you won't let go.
I need help, I do not know how and why am I going through a lot right now but both financially, emotionally I am falling. I tried to get back up but then there comes some situation that would put me down.
But I am fighting. I am fighting for my children. They are the sole reason why I wanted to live and continue living despite what I am going through.
My Beautiful Children
Meet my loves. They are my source of strength. I get up and do things like I am not bothered at anything because I they make me strong but then there are cases whenever I am alone just like right now I get to realize that I am getting drained. I wanted to do something in my life so to get that spark of motivation.
I am on that part of my life that I cannot pray because I cannot focus. Everytime I attempt to pray I get distracted by my own thoughts and my heart is not cooperating. It would seem like my very soul have given up and lose all the hope that I can get through this.
But still I wish God won't let go of me despite this feeling.
Grateful despite of what's going on
Despite what I am going through I still appreciate little things that I have.
My Job even when its draining.
I still appreciate that I could get to work at home though this might come to an end anytime soon but I am still grateful just that I have so much to consider as negative and its affecting my peace.
Di po ako nagpapaawa dito I am just making this blog to channel my inner thoughts and emotion kesa po bumigay ako. Nakakapagod ang araw-araw na lumaban. Masarap sumuko pero di ako magiging masaya pagka ganun kasi my children needs me most.
I hope that to everyone who feels the same way or going through the same pain will be healed someday.
I hope I can be financially free. I do not when, how or why but really I do pray for this to come and for all my sufferings to be paid off.
I even have a lot of what ifs I were this and that in life but I know it won't help. Sometimes I want to live in a dream where I can manipulate things and I can just wake up when it feels like a nightmare instead of the reality.