Confidence is one of the most important traits you can have. It's what allows you to walk into a room full of people you've never met, accept a job opportunity with a company you've never heard of, or face the toughest battle of your life with certainty and preparedness. It is one of those things that, if you're lacking, it's nearly impossible to acquire. But if you do have it, it will help you obtain just about anything you want in this world.
Being confident is not something that you're born with or without. It's a learned skill. I know this from someone’s shared personal experience. Before college, Tolu was pretty shy and insecure. She was worried about being liked and fitting in. Tolu hated the fact that she wasn’t as good as other kids at sports or the arts. Neither of her parents went to college, and neither did any of their family, which meant that there weren't a lot of role models for her to emulate. Although she has some pretty smart cousins and aunts and uncles as well as some extremely successful family friends, but they were all so different from her — older, more established — and Tolu was afraid that she’d never be able to measure up to them.
Another problem was that Tolu didn't know how to take praise. Her parents never told her and her siblings that they were proud of them or encouraged them to do things that were hard for them. But when she got good grades or scored a touchdown in football or won an award for art, they weren't happy for her. Instead they said things like, "You could have done better," and "I can't believe they gave it to you." One day, she decided to do away with shyness and insecurity because they aren't normal feelings for adults, but they are for kids because most children need a lot of encouragement and support from their parents to feel good about themselves. She decided to grow up and that really helped her. Now she is doing well for herself. You have it in your power to change these feelings by practicing confidence building activities.
Confidence has become an important trait nowadays, with more and more employers looking for employees with self-confidence rather than pieces of paper that show how smart you are. As you've already learned by now, the best way to feel more confident about yourself is to.. well, work on yourself and make yourself better. However, it's also true that learning how to be confident can help you build your self-esteem and make you perform better in different areas of life. That's why I’ve dug into the topic and picked up some great tips on how to become more confident in everything you do.
Steps to becoming confident
1. Think of your role model, or someone you admire, and try to determine what it is about them that you admire. Is it their sense of humor? Their smile? Their intelligence? Once you have identified this, try emulating that behavior. Maybe you like the way your friend always seems happy and positive, so you start forcing yourself to smile more at work. Maybe you admire how your best friend is always quick to make a joke, so you try cracking a few jokes yourself when people get on your nerves.
2. Talk to yourself as if you were your role model. When you find yourself sitting around wondering how to improve yourself, stop and ask yourself two questions:
"What would my role model do in this situation?"
"How would my role model act around people?"
Then, attempt to mimic the answers. If your role model never sits around and does nothing, don't either. If he or she treats everyone with kindness and respect, do the same.
3. Stay positive. So many of us spend so much time focusing on our different problems (Why does my boss hate me? Why did I say that? Why is this happening to me?) that we forget that there are positive sides to everything. Instead of viewing every problem as an obstacle or a setback, try reframing it as an opportunity. Was it really a setback when you got fired? Maybe it was just an opportunity for a new job, which will lead to a better position in an organization where you are happier and more fulfilled professionally.
Summarily, Always be confident. It doesn't matter if you're in a bad situation, if you're in a good situation, if everyone else is against you or if you're alone. Trust in yourself, be confident and push forward, even when you don't know what to do.