Is considering a spiritual view enough reason for going into or quitting a relationship?

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Avatar for George_Dee
2 years ago

I promised myself to write only things about the season we are but I couldn't take my mind of some facts a lot of people need to understand in life, a lot of people are making this one mistake and it is very common in Africa because we are obsessed with spirituality.

This article has nothing to do with condemning the spiritual life of anyone, it would only make you understand that there is more to spirituality if we read to the end.

I grew up attending a garment church and I tell you very well about spiritual obsession, I know people who wouldn't lift a finger with consulting their pastor's or prophet. It is a good thing to always allow God to lead but there is a limitation to this, lots of people don't understand and have allowed the spiritual obsession to ruin their happiness.


The first thing you should understand is that the people you run to for spiritual help are men like you and can make mistakes, terrible ones to be exact. Many claims to put their trust in God whereas, they have placed human above God.

Another point is that not all those who call themselves men of God are not what they claim to be and we must be very careful with handling information they tell us.

Not everything about life requires going too deep spiritually, proper thinking, a simple prayer to God, and considering the situation of things properly can sometimes be enough to make decisions that will yield positive results.

Yesterday a guy was sharing a life experience of a guy whose pastor told him that his girlfriend was the wife made for him from heaven. He wasn't sure because the lady is a violent type but he went on to marry her since his pastor assured him that the lady is his destined wife.

The marriage didn't last two years because the lady never gave him rest of mind, she was always fighting him and the people in the neighborhood.


People share their experiences and the discussion brought back the memories of my ex whose pastor told me that I wasn't the right guy for her, she ditched every dream and feeling we shared because of that without thinking twice.

She went on to date someone in the church which her pastor prayed about and said, she was made from the new guy's rib meaning he is her husband. He even made it clear that she won't have a child or a happy home if she didn't marry the guy.

Things got deeper between them and she noticed lots of things she didn't like about him but the pastor made her understand that he will change since they are destined to be together forever. After they got married, the guy decided to unleash the rest of the beast in him and she immediately knew that she went into the wrong relationship.

She became a punching bag, he doesn't cater for her and it got to an extent that it was the guy family and the church that started catering for her need since she has a baby and he restricted her from working.

It went on for close to two years and that day, I was surprised to see her call. I got emotional while she narrated everything, I had to raise funds for her to take care of the child who was ill. At last, she left the marriage and the guy never bothered to look for her or the child, she had to return to scratch to take care of herself and her daughter.


The fact that the guy was showing you some of his terrible habits while courting is enough for you to decide on whether the relationship is for you or not, it is better to walk out immediately before the knots are tied.

Unfortunately, many see but ignore the red flags because of what their spiritual person has said.

Obsession with spirituality should be between you and God not with a man as an intermediary, there are times we need just our brain to think and choose what is best for us.

Lots of people have dumped the person who was supposed to make them happy forever because of what their pastor or spiritual person has told them, for how long are we going to continue making these mistakes?

This has led to the death of people regardless of gender because not everyone gets the grace to leave an abusive relationship without having one permanent damage cause already, the people you are seeking spiritual help from won't live with you, and always remember the problems would be yours alone to handle.


When given prophecies about your future, thinking about it thoroughly is important. I am not disputing the fact that there are people who were told that they match and are happy in their relationship till today but there must have been physical signs that they will have a happy home.

Read the signs, don't ignore the warnings either but above all, think very well about the odds of following the spiritual advice and also think how much it can hurt or favor you. A marriage without love is not worth is it, it is just like signing a contract of pain and suffering for the rest of one's life.

I hope everyone is having a happy holiday, thanks for coming again to read my article. Love you all.

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2 years ago

Comments

I'm not against spiritual consultations but we tend to take this thing too serious in this country. You're the one that will live with the woman or man not the spiritual father.

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2 years ago

They don't understand that whatever happens after is their cross to bear.

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2 years ago

Hahaha to think I wrote something in this line yesterday too...hahahaha. I love this.

Most people who rely on what their pastors tell them without checking for themselves deserves a knock on the head with a sledge hammer. It goes down to not having a relationship with God themselves. We have seen how some pastors would channel their own agenda saying it's from God. Some have been led astray because of this.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

A lot of people have been really led astray all in the name of consulting their pastors instead of talking to God themselves.

Another thing I would like to know, is there anything like a destined lover? Because I believe that there is no perfect relationship, we just have to make thing work out.

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2 years ago

I don't believe in it too because what happens if the "destined" partner didn't choose to marry us and she went for another person. We can't stay on hold o hahahaha. We just have to make things to work out.

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2 years ago

This is the problem I have with some religious people in the country, they have placed their pastors on a higher ground than God, they listen more to their pastor than God. How will you see danger and you gladly walk into it coz your pastor said it's ok? Then why did God give you a brain? I believe everyone can hear from God, we just have to listen. Most of this pastors we have these days aren't called by God, they called themselves

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2 years ago

They don't see the need to put their brain to use and the repercussions are always disastrous at the end.

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2 years ago

We have to beware in every moment of life,God is always watching us we have to do a better life and always helps other or if we loved a girl or tries to marries first we checked out is it helpful for our next life as a wife or destroy us the spiritual person always show a positive act or advice as a innocent man Stay blessed

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2 years ago

You're right...many relationships today do crash because of this so we some be mindful of the person we let to decide if we are going to have a happy marriage or not, let's all note thag marriage is everlasting so we should think twice before bumping into any relationship.

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2 years ago

Everything about life is risky, marriage is risky so whether a pastor tells you who to marry or not, what will be will be.

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2 years ago

I think it depends on our personal relationship with God because he said in his word that we should watch and pray but what most of us do today is that we pray before watch, that is why most of the So called fake prophet keep deceiving us,

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2 years ago

Putting our fate in the hands of man we look up to as God is a bad thing, we must understand the fact that we can talk to God as well.

Most times we don't need spirituality when it comes to relationships, using our head is enough.

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2 years ago

Sir actually we have to know about but we are two in our life with other people is here polite with them aur other polite with us, call always watching of the realtor go to work and believe on God gives the right path. Dua in mix with photo religion like Islam Christians budha Hindu we have to know the real one by our sense

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2 years ago

Yeah, using our senses is what matters in most situations.

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2 years ago

This has caused chaos in many homes, my pastor said this and that and for that, it's correct , hmm, many have regretted this statement because they got into the wrong relationship. Pastors are human are prone to make mistakes, we should be our own pastor most times

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2 years ago

God talks to everyone but we don't listen, it necessarily doesn't have to be words. Sometimes it is just the behavior of the people that would help you decide whether to stay or not.

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2 years ago

I just couldn't understand why tgose pastors are like seer for those peoe. Pastors are like shepherd to lead the pack, not to see thier future or tell people who to marry.

Too bad for them to lose the love they could have deserved.

Pasyors a re considered spiritual advisers but not all of his advises should be followed. He is only human and and his knowledge is not deep as God's.

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2 years ago

That's the point, we should seek them for advice and the advice must be reviewed before applying it but it is unfortunate people treat them like God and some even behave like dictators.

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2 years ago

I dont think what the priest or pastors telling us especially about being destined are needed to be followed, we have our own mind and heart to decide about,besides we are the one who will enter in the relationship not the pastor or priest

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2 years ago

That's true, the outcome of the relationship will be suffered by the person and not the pastors.

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2 years ago

Most clerics and pastors of this day are not God-sent, they are only looking for what to eat. Giving out false prophesy because of money. Which has destroyed many relationships.

We should be wise enough to know the best thing for ourselves especially in relationships, so as not to end up being misled by fake pastors.

May God guide and protect us from them.

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2 years ago

That's right man, knowing the best thing for ourselves is what matters most. Allowing people to tell us how to live the rest would definitely end up in tears.

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2 years ago

My quote of the year is, " people you run to for spiritual help are men like you."

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2 years ago

Awnnnnn , before I say anything, I love that banner made my you, should I come and steal it away from you?? It's pretty cool.

My pastor told me that , my pastor told me this, my pastor told me that, we should remember that this is a life time journey, spirituality should not be taken too deep when it comes to relationship, because my pastor will not be there when the problem arises. Relationship requires each party knowing each other too well, and when you Know you can cope with that person, it better to go instead falling into trouble all in the name of "my pastor said"

We should be wise enough to see the signs and forget about spirituality , because it has run the life of so many people, though I'm not condemning those pastors, but we too should be wise enough, they are just human being like us just like you said.

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2 years ago

I respect anyone with the tag, pastor, or a religious leader but allowing them to make decisions for me is something I wouldn't entertain especially when it has to do with relationships.

Thanks a lot, I actually made it for a fiction story yesterday.

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2 years ago

Oh, I was unable to read the story, I will do that at my leisure time or probably before I go to bed.

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2 years ago

We need to beware of fake prophets disguising as good ones. Many of them has destroyed many homes because of false messages. Even if we listen to them, we also need to pray to God and not take immediate decision. Talk to God to guide you in the right path. So sorry for your ex though.

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2 years ago

Yeah, we must be very careful about how much we process the things they tell us. Seeking God personally seems to be the best idea when it comes to making relationship decisions and we must be watchful as well.

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2 years ago

People need to learn that Pastors are first humans, whatever advice they give out should not just be gulped down but carefully and thoroughly thought through.

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2 years ago

You got my point, everything they tell us must be thought about very well to avoid making mistakes that can't be reversed.

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2 years ago

No matter what you feel as a person towards your partner, spiritual consequences are also real and consultation is important

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2 years ago

Oh okay, why then do relationships with spiritual consultation still crash?

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2 years ago

I clasify myself as spiritual not religious. Covid had made me closer to religion in the sense that although I am not a Christian I have read more of the Bible in the last 8 months than my whole life. My Fiancé was an atheist when I met him but grew up in a Catholic house. For me it is about the person you love, who respects and treats you right. I have seen so many people lose their relationships and love because of "religious leaders" who have given poor advice. Follow your heart and your conscience, respect your partner, love your partner and everything else will work out ❤

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2 years ago

Yeah, love is what matters more. How you guys feel about each other and not what the religious leader said about your relationship.

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2 years ago

The issue of who to marry is an intricate one. Truth be told, it's very rare to have God to choose a partner for anyone, and if at all it happens it will be between the person and God not from a pastor. God doesn't choose a partner for anyone He only guides, and that's why courtship is highly recommend so you can have enough time to know more about the other person. The only place we see God tell someone who to marry in the Bible was recorded in the book of Jeremiah and he was told to go and marry a prostitute to understand the message God wants to pass through him to the backsliding Israel. A person must search for his or her soul mate and that doesn't have anything much to do with a pastor or a prophet. The only thing I can do for anyone as a pastor is to instruct and provide guidance, nothing more and nothing less.

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2 years ago

Thanks for the huge contribution sir. As a religious leader, I agree that it is best to just guide people about relationships than decide for them who to marry and who not to.

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2 years ago

Sad to hear about what happened with her, she was left alone with her kid. Actually the main problem is that we have mistaken the real meaning of spirituality.

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2 years ago

That's true, we have taken spirituality to a whole different level which isn't supposed to be like that.

She learned her lesson the hard way.

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2 years ago