Adversity doesn't create but reveals friends.

I have saved this topic for some days now but didn't have the strength to develop it until today, someone actually used it as a caption on one of his friend's pictures. As simple as the sentence might sound, it has lots of interpretations to me.

We have different criteria or standards for choosing our friends in the world today, it ranges from a person's financial status, social life, intelligence, spiritual life, and other reasons. In my case, I don't have a standard and I relate well with everyone who comes across my path in life as long as they are not going to take away my peace, love, and happiness.

I usually don't place too many expectations on my relationship with people because I am naturally poor at keeping up with bonds and that's why I don't tag people as friends because friendship doesn't have to be a one-sided thing. After all, I think why do I have to call someone a friend when we ain't that?

Imagine that because I meet someone at a viewing center once in a while, we talk about football and they automatically become my friend? No, that's not my way of doing things because there is more to people we refer to as friends.

If I ask everyone what a friend means to them and we start putting the people they call friends into that category, their long list of friends will become a short one.

When I was younger, I had a long list of people I called friends and I would go out of my way to please them. I started seeing who they were because I didn't get admission as they did, I easily fell off their clique but it means nothing to me because a Yoruba is saying that "Ogun ore ko le were fun Ogun odun" it means twenty friends can't play together for twenty years.

I agree with this saying but I don't apply it to all reasons why some stopped being my friend. A person who traveled to a distant land can choose to erase my existence in his head in name of starting a new life, I don't have any problem with that but in a situation whereby someone I call a friend leaves me because I am facing some life challenges, I wouldn't want to apply that saying. If people leave you because of what you are going through, they were never your friends.

I don't expect people to stay in our lives forever and I have been at peace since knowing this. Challenging times reveal the true identity of people we refer to a friend, they either forsake you or stand by your side.

A lady misplaced her phone and somehow the person found it successfully accessed her bank account, he or she took away her last card instantly. I guess it was someone close to her that did the job to her.

She was in tears while explaining things because she claimed her work needed her to be online and I don't know which work she was doing. One of the people she called her friend finally gave her a phone and the woman was very surprised because she wasn't expecting it.

While her other friends who had two browsing phones turned her down, someone who has one android and a small phone gave up hers just to make sure she doesn't have issues with her work. What baffled her was that she wouldn't have done the same for the person if she had such an issue and she would have done it for those who didn't lend her a phone.

She used it for a week before she could get another one, the phone given to her had a cracked screen and she fixed it just to show appreciation. She said to me that she has been looking up to the wrong people as friends and she just understood what the true definition of a friend is.

I said earlier that I have a shortlist of friends because the first thing that makes them dump me is my introverted lifestyle and those who still roll with me despite that have a special place in my heart. Standing by people doesn't have to be financial help, there are little things we do that can go a long way in the heart of others.

Relying on people or trusting too much in people because we call ourselves friends can be turn out pretty bad and before we use the tag "friend", we should be sure of what we are getting into.

I met this lady on Facebook many years ago, was two years after secondary school and we have never met to date. She successfully made it into my friend list.

Whenever I refer to her as my friend, my fiancee looks at me with surprise. She is always like how can you refer to someone you have known and haven't seen for a decade as your friend? Even without meeting physically, we have impacted each other lives positively.

She has done things that people we see day in day out won't do for me without expecting things in return and I have played the role of what friends would do in her life.

There are people I have met through blogging and we haven't met physically, I refer to them as friends because of how we treat each other. If someone hasn't I have met treats me better than people I see every day, why would I call them friends?

I see honesty and feel the sincerity in their approach as a friend because it is hard to trust people they haven't met and if they can do that, it means a lot to me.

The word "friend" is a big deal but we belittled it because we have attached irrelevance to it.

It is beyond the appearance, gift, physic, money, connection, fame, it is about people who would stand by you when nothing is left for you in the world.

It is about what they still feel about you when the fame, the wealth, the beauty is gone.

It is hard to specify who is truly a friend when things are good with you and the moment things change, you start seeing the real color of people we call friends but this doesn't mean we should lock our hearts and keep people away, we should be sure of the people we are giving access into our lives.

Simple tip you know.

Life already gave you a permanent friend...

The best friends life would give to you is your family and you can't change that except you decide to do away with them. Whenever anyone asked me who was my best friend, I always mention my brothers because they have been through a lot with me than any friend would do.

No one should replace the space of your family in your heart because they are a permanent friend life has given you.

A guy made a post on the Internet some time ago that he now understands what friends mean and only his family would fill that spot.

He said he was arrested by Efcc (electoral financial crime commission and no one among the people he called friends showed up or contacted him but his family stood up despite him neglecting them.

Lead image.