Hello everyone, at first I wanna say thank you for all who read and comforted me in my previous article. However I am sorry if I made some of you sorry about my struggles. Honestly it's not my intention to look pity. I just wrote my struggle so the green baby would feel guilty of not giving me his constant support. Hahahaha just kidding.

To be honest, I only wrote it as part of my daily diary/blogging. Because writing becomes my comfort zone this time. I have already say it many times in my previous articles. Writing also helps me to lessen up those heavy feeling I had inside, just like that so I always wrote what's really on my mind😆

Moreover you're support and encouragement word's inside my comment box makes me teary eyed yesterday morning. Though comforting word's made me fragile, yet it reminded me for somehow that I am still a human who also needed some light and comfort.

I thought I'm already an alien who had fully got eaten by my independency and pride. Lol.

Then I realize that I can share my heavy struggles too and I also learned that being independent doesn't mean I can do everything to survive. It doesn't mean I don't need help, and it doesn't mean I can just always pretend that I'm always okay and still surviving.

It's indeed okay, to be not okay!

But to be honest, I don't usually share my struggles to people in real life. I only share it here and noisecash, where I am a total stranger to everyone. I have some reasons why I prefer to pretend that I'm always okay in real world.

One of the reason was because, if they comforted me or if I heard some comforting words from people, I cry like a river 😂. I can't hold my emotions with that, and that was also the reason why yesterday morning I just silently read all your comments. I can't say anything and I don't know how am I going to react with your encouraging word's, because to be honest I didn't use to hear some comforting word's from people, because as I said I don't usually share my struggles since then. I always keep it in myself.

But I have tried sharing my problems and struggles one's, in Facebook . That was when I am still not doing blogging, but sad to say what I get is mocking. Hahahaha.

Being mock by the people, is the second reason why I don't like to share my daily struggles. Their mock makes me feel that I don't have any right to complain since it was part of my choices. It made me overthink that all I did to my life is a mistakes that is why I am suffering. It made me feel that I deserve to suffer because that's my choice, and that is why I tend to keep my real struggles. I tend to pretend and wear my mask on, so no one could mock me. Because mocking makes me more feel hopeless.

But above all I accept sermons for somehow😆, most specially if what I did is wrong. Sometimes after hearing the sermons, I realize that what I've done is totally a mistake and yeah I am not perfect after all so I changed and try my best to help myself.

That is why some people says that not all comforts are helpful and not at all times you need comfort, because there are really time's that all you need is a huge amount of sermons. Lol

However there are also some people who do not understand for somehow. They forgot that we all have different levels of strength and independency. Some people even tried to compare their experiences and situations to yours, as their best way of comforting. They thought it would gonna help you to get motivated 🤣. But no. To be honest sometimes it is not helping the person, though yeah sometimes it is, it works. But it's depend on how you deliver your comparing . Sometimes, out of negligence, it may also took the person's freedom to express her/his self because you unintentionally discourage the person as the person misunderstood your intention.

For further we should also remember that we have different experiences and strategy to survive. Which means we still have to be gentle to people who are already struggling. Maybe the situation was the same but that doesn't mean we can give the same strategy to survive or to win the battle. It also doesn't mean that your way on surviving, will gonna be someone's way to survive as well. It also doesn't mean that the advice that you get from your oldies will be a good to everyone.

It was still depend to the situation and to the person.

Message;

I didn't get a chance to publish an article yesterday because I was too tired. I bring my son to the pedia to have a check for his rashes and when we went home I'm really tired and exhausted. Last night before I go to bed I take my medicine for my swollen gums and it made me sleepy and so I didn't get a chance to write and read more articles.

So anyway again thank you for all your comforts and supports.

• Lead image from Unsplash.com by Wilhelm Gunkel