Disclaimer!

I'm not an expert when it comes to a relationship advices. As I actually don't have any experience in some problems that a couple may encounter. I grow up in a family where my parents don't have any fights about betrayal. I even had a lot of questions in mind. This blog is just my own thoughts, my own opinion, so your opinions are always welcome and respected in my comment section. Thank you!

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Why do some people tend to suspect and put a blame to someone? Even if the suspicioun doesn't have enough proof, but the way a person throws a blame, it seems like he/ she has every proof that he/she needs ? And since he/she is becoming paranoid, he/she is no longer aware that his suspicion is now exaggerated. He/she don't even realize that he/she is the one who's destroying the relationship that he/she doesn't want to ruin. The relationship that he/she has kept for too long, and the relationship he/she will fight and stand up for anyone.

Why? And where does human suspicioun really come from? Is it in the behavior or behavior displayed by the person he suspected? Or was it because of what they called human instinct.

I actually can't really relate to that situation. Because I'm not a suspicious person. In fact, even though I often see my partner always chatting with someone. I just think that he is just chatting with his friends. It's not that I don't care, it's just because I trusted him. Am I doing it wrong? Is it right that I should not be aware of what my partner is doing behind my back? Is it right for me to let him do whatever he is doing? But what if he is keeping a secret from me? But what secret? Do I need to know, who is my partner chatting with? Should I still bother with that? Do I need to know, who are his companions when he leaves? Do I look like an indifferent partner?

Anyway, I just came to this topic because of the commotion that had happened last night.

Last night around ten o'clock and almost all the nearby houses are quiet. I heard a commotion from our neighbor. Since some of our neighbors are already asleep because they are tired from work, the environment is already silent. While I am still awake and reading articles here on read.cash, as I usually slept around 12:00 a.m. And as I was reading I suddenly heard the fights of our neighbor, a couple who live on the first floor of this apartment, where we are now renting.

Anyway i know most of us(Filipinos) think that upstairs is called second floor and downstairs is first floor. But when I was working abroad, I learned that the upstairs is called first floor and one below is called ground floor. Anyway it's not that really important, I just inserted it to explain as you might get be confused 😅.

Because the night is too quiet, I could clearly hear the fight between the couple. The man must have hurt the woman because according to him, it was the woman who was to blame for why he laid his hand on her. Is that right? The woman is to blame? I might not be able to say.

From their fight, I found out that they are fighting because the woman is accusing the man was having an affair.( So ayon na nga, nagiging kumari ko na yata si marites lol.)

Actually they used to fight over and over again because of that accusation. We always hear them fighting and arguing even at early in the morning. Sometimes we get disturb because of their noise.

I was just wondering, and even asked myself over and over again. Why do a person tend to be suspicioun? What could be the possible reason?

As I was thinking, I came to a "Broken trust"and betrayal.

Possibly because the person has a past. I mean he's already guilty and the trust in their relationship has been destroyed, so that issue keep coming over and over again when they have a fight. The person has already betrayed the other person, that is why trusting is hard for the other person.

And for me if it's always like that, there's no more trust, and it's hard for you to trust, why did you give the person a second chance? I think it's better to cut the relationship, than fighting with the same reason over and over again. You have even reached the point where you are hurting each other physically. Not only that, you will be emotionally and mentally stressed too because of that.

Second chance isn't really meant for everyone, as not everyone deserves a second chance.

But if you see, that the person is doing everything to keep your relationship. I think the problem was you. So I think you better fixed yourself first, learn to trust yourself first before you tried to retrieve your trust to someone who had already broke your trust. Accept your flaws and imperfections, as you have to accept your partner's imperfections too. Once you healed your self, you are now ready to be a better partner to your partner.

Closing thoughts;

Before we give someone a second chance, make sure your done forgiving yourself from being imperfect, you had already move on. If not, your relationship won't last long, and at the end you will end up broken hearted. So you better make sure before you decide and continue your relationship to the person who had broke your trust.

Relationship must be affiliated with Love, trust, understanding and acceptance. As it is also may encountered with a lot of trials and challenges that may test the strength of the relationship.

Thank you for reading.

December 19,2021