Should I still care?

Blog#164 February 28,2022 no.28

Hello dear readers, how are you? How was your Monday anyway?

Before I begin with my rant's please allow me to apologize for this Monday rant's of mine. This is unintentionally as honestly I am trying to write a better discussion than this but because I got distracted, I didn't learn anything from my research. Honestly I don't have any plan to write about this kind of rant's, but what can I do, this is stressing me out.

Because of it's bad smell, my headache was triggered. I really really dislike the strong smell of cigarettes, but what can I do, if I am leaving with a big smoker.

I am really pissed off, honestly, but do I have a choice? I'm honestly scared that he might misunderstood me if I tried to stop him,so I choose not to say a word. I didn't say anything, not because I don't care, it was actually because I don't want any misunderstandings and conflicts with my partner's family. He even gets mad to my mother-in-law when my mother-in-law try to stop him from smoking, then would I still dare to stop him?

Honestly I just can't help but to feel pity to my mother-in-law, she is working so hard just to provide his needs, to bring him to the doctor as my mother-in-law wanted to help him and get recover, but he's a little stubborn and hardheaded, he even gets mad whenever my mother-in-law notice him.

Yesterday the result of his blood chemistry test was out, and the doctor prescribed him some medicine to lower his cholesterol and acidity.

But before he had his blood chem test, they already visited another doctor and the doctor found out that when he suddenly felt numbness was actually a mild stroke. That is why the doctor give him some medicine to lower his blood pressure as he was also diagnosed with hypertension and the doctor recommends him to have a blood chem test.

So yesterday the doctor told him that he isn't allowed to eat fatty foods anymore and of course since he needs to take his medicine he also need to stop his bad habit which is smoking.

Yesterday morning before they went to the clinic to get the result, it was unfortunate that my mother-in-law caught him smoking. So when he went inside our house my mother-in-law was terribly mad at him and guess what? he also gets mad as he gets annoyed to my mother-in-law and they ended up with argument.

I really felt pity for my mother-in-law, as she is starting to get tired of his behaviour. Imagine she's already tired with her work and yet my father-in-law is stressing her. All my mother-in-law wants is the best for him, but he's not even cooperating. And the other sad thing is everytime that my father-in-law receive some money from his children's from his first wife, he don't even let my mother-in-law know. He hide the money from my mother-in-law so he can bought his cigarettes and he can buy a ticket in Lottery. So when my mother-in-law found out that he's children is supporting him behind her back, she really felt being betrayed.

Know why? Because instead he also use his money to buy his medicine and vitamin's he's only wasting it to his addiction. He can't even buy snacks for his self because he prefers to smoke than to eat healthy. And the annoying part is when my mother-in-law was around he act like he was dying, which makes my mother-in-law more worried(may God, forgive him🤦). He even complain that he becomes more weaker and even complain that his medicine and vitamin's are not effective. My gosh how would the medicine will work if his a big smoker?

Oh gosh! Honestly it's stressing me a lot too. My mother-in-law is complaining, she keeps on telling me how disappointed she was and I can't do anything to help her but listen. Since I know all my father-in-law's actions behind my mother-in-law's back, everytime that I hear his complain, all I felt is madness towards him. It was so annoying, I really can't tolerate his behaviour. Before I always let my mother-in-law know that he keeps on smoking whenever she's not around, but since I can hear them arguing, I stop letting my mother-in-law know his actions. I really felt pity for her but I find it more hard to my mother-in-law.

I already don't know what to do, I wanted to help my mother-in-law but I don't know what to do. That is why sometimes I really wanted to leave this house. Everything is so soooooo complicated in here.

Again I'm really really sorry for this rant's, I just need to let them out from my thoughts as it's really disturbing me.

Thank you for reading.

All photos including the lead image from Unsplash.com