It's been awhile that I didn't do some planning. All I do is just go with the flow and gain whatever I can possibly gain, something like that. No specific plan's and specific goals to achieve, I do it to avoid myself from pressure. But the question is, did my strategy works? I mean did I really avoid myself from stress and pressure?🤔👀.

To tell you honestly, the answer is NO! Lol

Though I knew that I should only go with the flow, since I didn't set any goals, my heart and my mind keeps on pressuring me. Like everyday my brain keeps on nagging me inside my head, most specially if I made some absences 😂.

• Self you haven't write any updates for today.

• What time is it you still don't have any topic? Self what are you doing?

• My God! You made two absences already, then you must cope up. You have to write two articles today, or else you can't complete the whole month of having one blog daily. Do you hear me?

• Bla bla bla, balakajan...😆

So because of that, I'm still stressed and felt the pressure🙆🤦. Sometimes how I wish I can tape my brain even just for one day so it won't nag and I can have a break. Lol. 👀

Anyway, this month I have made some plan(s). But this is not about goals and for my achievements, but this is related to my personal responsibility. Chaaarrr 😂. You know, I'm a solo parent right now, and so my responsibility has been doubled. A mother and at the same time a Father to my son, and this is not easy.

Balancing is not my thing. I've been trying to balance everything, between real world and online, but, it's not really easy. There are still things that are neglected, and so I came to this decision, perhaps plan where I am going to minus some of my screen time. I have already started it yesterday. I am actually worried that the green baby may possibly forgotten me because of inactivity, but my responsibility in outside world is more important than my goals here.

I came to realise this when my son got sick. I felt that maybe I am neglecting him and that is why he got sick. I know I sounded like I am blaming myself to what happened to him, but it's not like that.

I know for somehow that it's part of his growth and no matter how much I protect him he will still gets sick, I just wanted to give more time to him right now.

So now my plan and decision as well, is to write my article before going to bed and just wake up so early in the morning to read articles and made some interaction. This could also be possibly means that my time for here may become less. So starting tomorrow I will be going to wake up at around 4 or 5 in the morning to read articles and when my son wake up no more cellphone for me. Just like today, I only used my phone when my son had his nap but it's also quick because I do my laundry, but if I won't do my laundry I can stay a little longer in the day time.

Hopefully, the green baby will still come to visit me, even after all the changes that may possibly affects my performance here. But if he forgets me, it's fine. I'll also forget about him. Hahahaha just kidding.

Closing thoughts;

My achievements is also important, but what is achievements if I am neglecting my son?

One of my goal is to become a responsible mother to him and with this plan I will try to learn how to balance everything. Maybe this time it's still hard because I am still in adjusting phase, maybe sooner or later I can finally adjust and makes things work accordingly.

This is for now, and thank you for reading.

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