"I see you Monster"

Before I start, let me ask you this questions.

What will you do if someone abused your kindness?

How will you face that person after he did a sin to you?

Are you going to let his family know about what his sin?

How about your own family? Will you let them know too?

Or will you just leave and kept it as a secret and let the time hell your pain?

Will you judge me? But before that let me share my story.

Way back 2010 I decided to work as a helper in our place. I actually don't have any plan to stay for a long time to that family. My plan is just to learn how to get along with other people, as I have a plan to go overseas. I wanted to try if I can be able do that, because my cousin told me that in abroad you cannot easily quite. So if you don't know to get along with other people then it would be hard for you to work outside our country. I asked my parents if they will let me work, besides that house was just near in our place. At first my mother asked me if I really wanted to work as a helper because she knew that I can't cook, I can't do the iron and I can't do hand wash when it comes to washing. In short I don't know anything about household chores but do a simple cleaning. But I told my mother that I can learn them and besides if I found the work heavy then I'll quit. I get my parents permission and they let work. Every Saturday night I go home as my day off was Sunday.

When I arrive to that house, I learned that my boss is a seaman and my madame is just stay at home mom for her children. They have two child and currently their youngest is just 5 month's old and they're first child is already 16 year's old. They told me that I don't need to work too much about the chores, and I must fucos on their baby. My boss do the cooking and I'll do the laundry, then when the baby's awake I'll take care of her. At first it was fine, until my boss leave as he already finish his one month vacation.

When he leave, I started doing the cooking. But after a month I started getting tired with my work. It's because I don't used to work that much. In our house, I do the cleaning and our mother do the cooking, while we do together our laundry. The work is more easier if you work together. And since I started to get tired, like I can handle the work anymore. I tell to my madame that I wanted to quit. But my madame don't want me to go, she says if I want she will get another helper and my work is just to take care of their baby. At first I hesitate to accept her offer, because I really wanted to leave. I'm still young and I can still find another job, but she offer me an increase in my salary. I don't need to do the laundry, iron and I don't need to cook, just the baby. I decided to accept it, besides taking care her baby isn't that hard for me.

Every year my boss has his vacation, he always go home and stay for one month and sometimes two months. He was fine, he is a good boss to us, he always give us Christmas bonus and even birthday gift. My madame like me so much and trusted me a lot, she even talked to me about her personal problems and so on.

I am already working to them for three years when they I asked me if I know how to use computer. Honestly I don't know how to use it. I also don't know how to use any gadgets, even those touch screen phones. Before touch screen phone are a bit expensive so I don't have any phone, even though I'm already working I still can't afford it. I use my money for my family expenses and I save some.

It was summer when my boss came home for his vacation. They planned to have a vacation in Cebu city and they bring me there together with my co-worker. I really felt like we're a family, I trusted and respected them as they trust and respect me too. But I never knew that everything may end. My scariest day has come.

We already finished our lunch when I asked my madame if she will use the bathroom because I wanted to have my shower. She says, it's okay I can use it. I was about to go to the shower room when my boss suddenly talk as he needed to use the shower room because he will leave soon. Then I let him use it first. I don't know but I just suddenly feel uncomfortable because of my boss action. But I ignored it. He stayed a bit longer inside the wash room, when he came out he immediately leave the house. I still feel that uncomfortable feeling, like something is really wrong. I thought I was just tired so I ignore it again. While taking the shower, I still can't explain with my self. Like there is something in my mind saying that there is something wrong. I really can't explain with how i feel that time, but I continue taking my shower when I suddenly saw a red light in front of me. It was hidden in the back of mirror, out of my curiosity I inverted it and I was so surprised that there's something behind it. It looks like a USB but it has a lense with a red light, so I was thinking that it might be a camera and he was recording me. I was so shocked, and maybe that's the reason why I felt uncomfortable inside the wash room.

I wanted to cry, I wanted to shout because of anger, my emotions was mixed with a lot of questions. Like why he did that, I respect them as a family but why? I run straight into my room while crying. I can't believe with what I saw, I felt betrayed and being abused. I managed to call my friend. I told her about the thing that I found and she told me to relax and fixed myself.

While my boss wasn't yet at home, I keep on thinking with what should I do. I really don't know what to do that time, at the same time I'm scared, but one thing I am sure of, I will go home, no matter what. I don't want to stay anymore.

When my boss went back home, I saw him went straight to the wash room. I went outside as I can't manage to saw him, I feel afraid at him. I keep on trying not to show my nervous, I try to stay calm. Then he call me, he says he left something inside the wash room before he left home. He said it's something black and it's for his work. I manage to answer him and ask what's that thing called? I act naturally, as I really don't know what his talking about. I even said that maybe he misplaced it. He says that it's a USB for his laptop. I was so da*n mad that time, I really wanted to confronted him but I'm scared and I don't have any courage. I felt my anger through my nerves and that's makes me cry.

I keep on having a second thought that time, if I should tell it to his family or not. I'm thinking that maybe they won't believe me. And I don't want them to get mad at me, thinking that I'm just making a scene. I don't want them to judge me. I didn't let my family know about what happen, because I'm scared for my father. I don't want to put him in any trouble.

I wasn't really sure if I did the right decision that time. At young age, I'm a big coward, I can't fight for my voice, I can't fight for my self. 🥺

My family get confused about my sudden decision. As I decided to leave the country, I went abroad to forget.

But today I suddenly saw this message, in my messenger message request that makes me remember that day.

I didn't saw it before,just today, as it is in my messenger message request. I don't know why he tried to reach me. But whatever his reason, until now I still don't know if I can forgive him. I just wanted to forget that day.

But maybe I have forgiven him already, but I haven't forgotten what he did.

I know I am a coward back then, I was just thinking about the people around me. I'm selfless as I do care more about the feelings of others. But I can say that I am stronger now, as I already get a courage to share it here.

Anyway, I'll be cutting this article here, thank you for reading.

Sorry if I called him monster, as I saw him that way when I'm still covered by my anger. I really had a bad experiences in my younger age.

October 14,2021 20:30

Lead image was originally my edited photo, using logo maker