What if you woke up one morning and you'll find out that your husband/wife/ partner is packing all his/her things as he/she was about to leave your house. To leave you. To leave your precious family, like he/she won't come back anymore? Will you beg him/her to stay for the sake of your children? Or will you just ask what's going on but let her/ him leave, because you think that it was the best decision for both of you?

Or what if you beg and after you two talked, he/she make an agreement that he/she will just stay for the sake of your kids but not as your husband/wife/partner anymore? Will you agree and sacrifice your own happiness for your kid's or will you decline because it will surely cause negativity to your whole life, that can probably overkill your own happiness?

I know this is a biggest sacrifice if you have to decide, and have to choose only one choice as you don't have any choice to be made. Specially if you already have children and your priority is there own concern. You might probably ended up in to a stressful life or you'll ended up with a quiet and yet peaceful but some hearts are broken hearted.

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This is the story of my friend, that really broke my heart. I feel stressed after we talked and I really wanted to write those thought, as I found so many questions from my mind. Questions that even I, I can't answer as it was really hard.

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As a mom with two kids, and having an unhealthy relationship with her partner is a triple kill to my friend, specially to her own happiness. Actually when they are still girlfriend and boyfriend she always come to me to rant her rant's about her boyfriend. As it has an attitude problem. Her boyfriend never tried to accept his mistakes, it always looked at his self as perfect. Whenever there's something wrong that happened, he will always pointed my friend as the one who did the mistake. So annoying right? I actually really don't like that guy, but my friend love's him so much, which I'm irritated the most. I always scolded her when she comes to me and cried because they broke up. And then just a day later they have a come back. I always told her that her boyfriend would never change and she can't change him, but she still follow her heart and look at her now, she's suffering.

Yesterday I was busy with my sons birthday so I don't have any time to check my messenger. I don't know that she deactivated her Facebook account, because she was stressed. That is why I am surprised that she called me in my mobile number today. When I pick up her call she was crying from the other line. I was curious as I really don't have any idea what happen. It's been a while since the last time she rant her personal problems to me. I thought she was just busy as a mom, never thought that she was always stress because of her partner. So I asked if what's wrong and I'm not surprised when she says that they have broke up but this time she says there's no more come back for them. Actually even they have already kid's, they still acting like a little kid's, so much ego and pride. Her partner will leave and go back to his parents house whenever they have arguments and then a week later he will come back to my friend, as if there's nothing happen. They don't even try to talk about their fights, they will just act as they are a happy family when her partner come back to her. Then the cycle will just continue over and over again, leave, come back, leave, come back, leave. I feel tired of listening of her problems, but I realize how much more to my friend who really faced the real problem? I feel pity for her but she always accept that man as if she can't live without her partner. I sometimes asked her, if she's still love her self or does she still have any care for her own self. Because she's always killing her own happiness and continue dedicated her whole life to a wrong person . Even though, truth had slapped her already, she still continue hurting her self by loving her partner so much. Choosing your partner is choosing your future. Don't love too much if you were in a one sided love, as too much love will kill you.

According to my friend, her partner tried to leave their house yesterday. Like it has no plan to come back because she saw it packing all his things. She said she tried to talk to his partner and beg him to stay because she don't want her kids to grow up without a father. Her partner refused to stay, as it has already made a final decision. He will leave his family and start to live a new life on his own. Far from my friend, far from his children. According to my friend, she beg him to stay for the sake of their children's. She says that she will let him do everything that he wants, just to stay with them. So their children can still saw their father while their growing up. I can feel the pain from my friends voice while she was talking. I really feel sad and devastated. Why she have to let it to happen to her life? Why does she choose to make her life miserable? For the very beginning she actually have lots of choices, she already knows that his partner has a bad temper and overloaded with pride, but she still accept that man into her life. The worst is, now she has already children's, and that kind of situation may affect to them too. They will grow up with a parents who don't love each other anymore. I think no matter how much they tried to hide their real relationship status,their kids can still sense the difference. As we all know, actions speaks louder than words.

And because I'm not a good adviser to this kind of situation, I just tried to calm her down. I'm actually speechless, specially that I also don't have a perfect relationship with my partner. The only difference of my relationship with my partner was, he knows how to say sorry and accept his mistake, while her partner leaves them and just come back when he wants to come back to them.I feel pity for my friend, but I am so much concerned for her kids. They're innocent, they don't know that their father don't love their mom anymore. That their father was just begged to stay, as it was really wanted to leave them.

I don't know what effect it will have to their growth, as they will grow up with a fake love and affection. I hope and I will pray that they will still try to save their relationship for the happiness of their children's.

Closing thoughts:

When you become a parent's, in every wrong decisions you make, in every wrong choice you choose, the most affected was your little ones. Your children was the most devastated for your failed relationship. Your children was the one who suffer the most from your wrong choice. Before you decide for break ups, remember that Your children was the collateral damage of the love that you have once shared to each other that you were about to be left behind. Look at their eyes and see how pure their love from within. They deserve a happy family.

I know that I am not a perfect partner to my partner, but I will pray that we won't ended up in to a broken family.

Thank you for reading!

November 08,2021 21:55

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