This or That?
Hello everyone! It’s another cuddle-weather here in my place today. So sad, that I don’t have my fur babies with me to cuddle. This week was really hectic, if you have noticed, I haven’t been that active, there's so much to catch up on the dead lines and Rusty was only seldom to visit my articles so, I’m kinda demotivated, char lang :D
I came across the This or That trend also that I found on here https://teambuilding.com/blog/this-or-that-questions
In life, we face a lot of choices and we always choose that one thing that satisfies us. Unless being told what to choose, well that’s no fun at all.
Vacation or staycation?
Before, there’s no time in a year that I will not go out on a vacation either with family or friends. Now, that my life revolves around the nature of my work, sleep is the most treasured activity I should do whenever I have spare time. So it’s STAYCATION for me. I miss having a vacation but I am missing more a lot of sleep.
Passenger or driver?
As of the moment, I have already built a motorcycle on my 2 year-experience working at a private school. I tried practicing how to drive it with my brother or with my dad, but until now I still don’t know hahaha. I am still a professional PASSENGER. I’ll start practicing again maybe soon.
Wine or Beer?
Beer. I’m not that kind of a hard drinker but I find myself being relaxed with a beer. Whenever there’s a formal occasion I attend, I always choose beer over wine. I liked its bitter and bubbly taste in my mouth.
Roommates or live alone?
I prefer to live alone. I am not an organized person. I don’t like someone telling me to manage my things when I feel productive on working on the kind of arrangement I got used to. It’s not messy it’s just not organized. Once in a year, there will be a time that I will organize my things, just when I like it.
Lose sleep or skip a meal?
I’d rather skip a meal than lose sleep. As I have said, sleep is a very sacred activity. I only get it for a long when I have free time. For meals, I could eat meals while at work but I can’t sleep while at work.
Fiction or nonfiction?
I’m more of fiction. I easily get bored watching or reading nonfiction. I like fiction stories because it activates my imagination and creativity. It gives a soothing effect also to my brain especially if it has a happy ending.
Hot coffee or iced coffee?
Hot coffee, of course, it’s what awakens my sleeping soul in the morning or whenever I feel drowsiness.
Social media message or text message?
I don’t pay for cellular loads now so I prefer to receive messages on social media. I find it more convenient also but the only thing that makes it not cool to use is when the person you chatting with is offline hahaha so end of the conversation hahaha.
Instagram or Twitter?
I’m torn between these two. I think I’ll go with Instagram. I just used Twitter every time I feel like I’m being Marites over some celebrity issues hahaha. I just can’t help it really.
Tattoos or piercings?
Tattoos. Just a minimal design on my wrist. I can’t still have it for now because my father would kill me if he see me having tattoos. I don’t like piercings as I am very much afraid of needles. As if having tattoos doesn’t use needles hahaha I don’t know but I’m okay with having one piercing on both ears haha.
Raise or bonus?
Of course, I want a RAISE hahaha. I can only have a bonus like two times a year whereas if I could get a raise I could get it every month hahaha.
See the future or change the past?
I will change my past because I believe that our past defines the future. I would like to refine my future so if given the chance I will go back to my past and make things right.
That's all for today.
Ciao!
Lead image from Google.
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Thank you @Bloghound 💞 God bless you 😘
Thank you @Bloghound 💞 God bless you 😘
To @Greatwolfman,
I cannot contain my happiness. I am having toothache and it magically went away when I read a New Sponsor on my notification. I am very sorry for the very late notice. Thank you very much! 💞
Finally!
On September 14, 2021, I had my first dose of Pfizer. I had my detailed experience on it on the article:
I did not feel any side effects of the vaccine except for the swelling pain on the injected part.
October 5, 2021, was our scheduled second dose of the vaccine. I and my colleagues got to the venue very early. When we got there, we were immediately guided to the initial screening. I was so nervous at the same time I'm having a headache because I got so wasted the other night 😁 Tagay is life hahaha. So, the result of my bp was 130/80, and my heartbeat rate was 125 beats per minute. I was told to just stay calm.
When I passed the initial screening I went inside the gym for the second screening with the doctors. Before me, was a woman in her early 30's, she was positive about pregnancy. So, she was advised, to skip the second dose because the vaccine is not good for the first trimester of pregnancy. It was my turn now and the doctor went out for a water break. I still have my form with me. When she came back she read the form on her table thinking that it was mine. "Buntis man diay ka ma'am." So Maam, you're pregnant. I was like? Doc, I'm the dryest person in the world hahaha. I gave her my form and she realized, that form belongs to the pregnant woman. I just look like a pregnant woman but I'm really not.
The doctor asked me questions like what I felt on the first dose, how am I feeling today, etc. I did not tell her that I am having headaches. I'm afraid she might ask me why. I don't like to tell her that it was because of a hangover and I had a good time the other night hahaha.
After that, I went to the registration section. Then, waited in the vaccination area. It took me 20 minutes or so to wait for my turn. I got the familiar feeling once again. My undying fear of needles. In just a snap of time, I'm done with my second dose. Finally! I'm fully vaccinated.
It happened that on the same day is the celebration for World Teachers’ Day. We were supposed to buy our lunch at the near food stall when our school administrator told us that she will treat us to Pagatpat Seafood Restaurant. It was around 10 am. I am feeling a bit hungry still having headaches, I just took 1 capsule of Advil. I can’t feel the hunger anymore because I am so filled with excitement haha.
It took us long to reach there as it is located on the other side of the town. One of my colleagues is having motion sickness. Good thing that she prepared a plastic bag where she can throw up. I was sitting at her back so I massaged her head to calm her down.
Finally, after a long ride, we finally reach our destination. We were so amazed by its surroundings. Good thing I’m good with seafood except for those that have shells like mussels, oysters, etc.
We really had a good time while eating. The surrounding is nice and the foods served are very delicious.
We took a lot of pictures, made a lot of memories, and shared laughter.
It was around 2 pm when we decided to go back to the school. Our ride back to school is very quiet. Most of us are asleep after being so full and got tired of taking a lot of pictures.
In the evening I suddenly felt dizzy. I was awakened feeling so cold, and I'm feeling under the weather. I'm having chills and I coughed continuously. Probably the effect of the second dose.
When the morning came, I did not feel anything unusual, I woke up feeling fine.
So far, that was the only side effect I felt on my second dose.
Finally I'm fully vaccinated! Finally I got to experience the famous Pagatpat 😊
What about you? Have you been vaccinated now? 😊
Hindsight
Have you ever thought of dying instead of living? Well, first I want you to know that I'm not a beggar nor an orphan. Let me say I can get everything I want with just a snap. Life is very easy for me. Or should I say I am someone who was living the life that everyone wanted to live? But that is a big WAS.
I just open my eyes and then I saw a very bright light. Everything is white. Is this what they call heaven? But wait why I am here? I am too young to be here. I am just a 10-year-old girl who has so many dreams to make. Wait. Where are Mom and Dad? I graduated as a valedictorian just as I promised and in exchange, we will go on a family trip. A trip going to my favorite place on earth, Korea. How will we go if I will not get ready? But then I realize I couldn't move my feet and my arms. No, I can't move my whole body. What's wrong with me? Am I really in heaven? I am starting to panic. Even if it very hurt I try to move on my right side then left side, then there I saw a mirror. Upon looking at the mirror, this is the only thing that runs in my mind, "This is not me!" And everything went black.
I am Hope. Hope because I am the hope to my beloved Mom and Dad. I am their answered prayer. Because my mom has difficulty in pregnant. Both of them runs a very successful business. So even though, I barely see them at the house, I understand because I know they're working very hard for my future. I am not like the others who rebel just to seek attention. I have my best friend Marcus with me so I won't get sad. He is 1 year older than me. We are friends for almost 6 years, that's why we are comfortable with each other. He seems like a big brother to me and so I am a sister to him. He is always there to be my playmate, my protector, and sometimes my enemy. Why? Because he's also someone who always makes fun of me. Maybe I should consider myself as his happy pill.
I woke up again and it's all-white again. Then suddenly I saw an earlier flash in my mind. I cry and what made me more cry is that I can't speak. The face of my aunt appears in my face. I heard her calling for assistance. "Doctor! Nurse, where is the doctor? My niece is awake!" She repeated a couple of times till the resident doctor came. I'm still crying. I don't know what I am going to feel. There are so many questions roaming in my mind unanswered. Like what the hell is happening? Where are my parents? It's been 12 hours since I have been wide awake and neither of their shadows is present. I wanted to ask my aunt but as I say I can't speak. All I can do is cry and cry as I witness my aunt worrying about me.
5 days have passed, I feel I became stronger than yesterday. At least I can move my left and right arm and I can move my head. I learned it's been 15 years since I fell into a coma. Yeah, you heard it right. So I am 25 years old now and it explains why I can't recognize my face. My parents? They were both gone peacefully resting back in the arms of God. 15 years ago, my parents and I got into a car accident while we were on our way to the airport to catch a flight bounded to Korea. I remember my dad driving, my mom beside him, and me in the backseat. We're both happy, excited, and singing our hearts out. When, unfortunately, we happen to meet a drunk driver driving a huge cargo truck. Thankfully, I have my Aunt Hazel, who never gives up on me. She is the only family I have. She never married that's why all of her attention, love, and care filled me. I owe her my life now. At first, after I learned what happened, my heart refused to tool it. Why? Why of all people this tragedy happened to me? Am I a bad girl to my parents? Why? I almost got mad at the Lord why let these things happened to me. But then, realization struck me. I don't want to waste this second chance to live. Life sucks but still, I need to live. And that time, I also realize I lose the ability to love.
I need to undergo many therapies, it is like I became a baby again. Like a baby, they teach me slowly by slowly how to talk and walk. Everything a growing child needs to know. Good thing my body or should I say myself is a very fast learner. Instead of half a year like what the therapist said I need to be fully recovered, it just only takes 3 months only. Maybe it helps my determination and eagerness to learn. And a week after my full recovery, I was discharged.
My aunt insisted to go with her back to the states but I resist. She needs to take care of the company my parents left. It was already named to me but I am not ready yet. I wanted to be independent and I don't want to leave my family's house either. This is where my family memories live. I knew my aunt doesn't deserve my coldness but I can't help it.
I've been thinking about where I am now if the accident happens. Maybe I am working. Maybe I am now a successful businesswoman like my parents. So to be able to forget, I study hard. A few years later I got my degree. I did not waste my time again. After graduating, I asked my Aunt that I am ready to be trained so that I can fully manage our business. My Aunt Hazel was hesitant at first but she trusted me. She said I can go tomorrow.
Like every other night, I will standby on the terrace of my room, sipping red wine and let myself drown in memories. I still cry and only I know. It feels I am a child stuck in an adult body. I don't even know what it feels when I got my menarche or everything a teenager experienced. Imagine yourself spending almost half of your life lying in bed. I just can't still believe but there's nothing I can do. I just silently praying wishing I could turn back to the time when everything in my life is perfect. And hoping hopefully God will hear me this time.
And like every morning too, I will found myself waking in bed when my last memory that I slept is on the terrace. And like I always do also, I maybe sleepwalk that's why. After doing all my morning routine, I drove my car on the way to the company. I am quite very early, that why there still no employees around. When I arrived at my said office, lots of memories again filled in my mind. A little girl wearing a cute school uniform with a pink backpack running toward her mom and dad. This is my parents' office actually and I noticed nothing change in it. I almost cry myself when I heard someone clearing his throat. I fix myself before facing this someone who ruined my moment. He should learn to knock on the door for christ's sake. I'm ready to get mad when I face him but it is like my tongue rolled back. It feels like the whole world stops. In front of me is a very gorgeous hot guy that I never imagine will exist on earth. But everything I thought faded when he said, "I know I'm beyond handsome Hope, but please stop drooling" as he walked past me, put the papers on my table with a smirk. He then walks to the door, faces at me, blinks his eyes, and closes the door before my very eyes leaving me dumbfounded. This is so much to start a day. God, what an annoying man!
All I need to know about the company was sent by my Aunt in my email. So my whole day is busy reading everything, from familiarizing and memorizing. I spend my whole weekend like this. Thankfully, I never met that guy again, or else I will fire him. So far, the company is stable with the help of my Aunt guiding me through everything. I went home eat my dinner and lock myself in my room. I have a stay-out helper who does the cleaning and cooking that's why when I went home, I just heat it and eat. I never met her once but I think there's no problem with that.
Happy World Teachers' Day 💞
Lead image from Google
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Stop me from being MARUPOK
Sunday. This day was supposed to be church day and family day. Since I have Saturday duty so, it’s seldom for me to go home. Just like other Sundays when I can’t go home, I stay at the place where I’m staying and do all the laundry since I cannot do it on Saturdays. I should’ve stopped being a weekend warrior. Now I’m all stuck with a mountain pile of laundry and other things. I was not able to go to church today because it was raining so hard.
I finished all my chores in the afternoon. Instead of taking a nap, I turned my laptop on and work on the questionnaires for the upcoming first summative test. I am handling 16 subjects in all, good thing I already started the other week so I’m just finishing all the Math’s because it is the most complicated to make with all of its signs and symbols, it needs to be done manually when uploading to our LMS which is moodle.
I was busy with online works and I am just listening to music to get by. I received a notification from my Instagram account. I froze as I read the notification. A ghost from the past commented on one of my recent posts I already wrote an article about him, I left my heart in San Francisco https://read.cash/@Fyangzee24/i-left-my-heart-in-san-francisco-235f1b91
“I’m better now,” that’s what I put as a caption on my post. He commented, “Nakita nako ang sadness sa nawng” *I see the sadness on the face.*
I was like, how could you say that? As if you still care? But I just ignored it. I continued on my work when I received another notification, this time it's not just any comment from my posts but a direct message still coming from the same person. I’m feeling annoyed with the fact that I already blocked him on Facebook, I was not able to block him on Instagram because I thought he’s inactive on Ig.
It’s been a year I think since we last talked online. He was so persistent that my curiosity beats me so I responded.
Only to find out he was sad that’s why he’s reaching out to me. I feel insulted, I wanted to say “Merisi” Good for you, but I’m not that kind of person who’s tactless. I’m still sensitive about people’s feelings. He may have hurt me in the past, but it’s still not enough for me to say bad words to him. He‘s undergoing something. Maybe he remembered me as someone who gives him comfort, that’s what I thought of. But I’m not being marupok or fragile. He’s still a friend just with a side story.
Now that we’re exchanging messages, I wanted to ask him a lot of questions. I just don’t find the courage. I am also thinking that I am not in the right place to ask questions to him, for the reason that there was never an “us”. He ghosted me, right after I already developed feelings towards him.
Is it right to comfort him? Now, I’m having second thoughts of continuing this whole conversation with him.
I should’ve not replied. It was just really unfair on my side. How could he be so comfortable sending me a message after a very long time, telling me about his breakup? I don’t understand what he’s trying to imply. Is he trying to tell me just so I know that he’s single again? I am already healed with all the heartaches. Now he’s back just because he’s sad. And I don’t understand why do I have the feeling that I want to help him pick his broken pieces. Send me somewhere please T.T
All images are mine.
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I'm over the moon tonight. My heart is so kinikilig 😁 Thank you so much @Expelliarmus30 😊 I can't wait to see you in my box.
Surviving by Materialism
Only decades ago, people were contented with using what they could have, instead of waiting for something else.
Simple luxuries did not exist back then. Their days passed by simply without even taking a peek at the TV or surfing the web, and they didn’t even always listen to the radio. Now, there are technological innovations that occupy most of a person’s time. I am not specifically pointing out just the gadgets, but also the fashion revolution.
Everywhere I go, there are cell phones on hand and eyes on them. I admit that I also do that, but at least I glance to the road once in a while. Others just bump to poles, bump to each other and being bumped by cars, and spending large amounts of money for the load. Load is mostly used for texting or surfing the net.
Aside from cellphones, there are many more gadgets that steal the focus from everyone: tablets and laptops that make functions of a computer much better, faster, and handy. The Internet is now even made easy to reach because of internet cafes. And even made easier because of Wi-Fi! People have become lazy because of these. And even then, people copy from others because it’s just a click away. That makes it so sad.
And for fashion, in the textile industry, skirts are so short, and tops are sleeveless and even tubes. Some designs cover the entire body but are see-through. There are also shorts and skinny jeans that perfectly morph the exact shape of a body. Sometimes, actually most of the time, I tell myself: “With these clothing designs that people buy, why do they even bother wearing clothes?”
And don’t get me started with hairstyles. I thought people just want to cut their hair for comfort. Now I see that they don’t. I can’t even see the comfort in their hairs. Some have uneven cuts, spots, overflowing on one side and overblown on the other, dreaded, square-box for girls and long flowing hair for boys. They think they’re unique. Yeah, I say so. Unique on another level.
I may sound like a Karen or a Marites to you but I don’t really understand if these things make life better or more complicated. I know you’ve been told by elders and even by our parents: “In many days, we did this instead of that.” And I know you would probably say, “Well, you didn’t have this in your time.” I can justify that we are living in this era of the world when technology is gradually enhancing at a fast pace. If you don’t want to be left out, you have no other choice but to ride along with it as you can. That is how to survive: socialize by materialism.
Lead image from Google.
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Happy Weekend!
I passed out last night because of the cramps I felt on my lower abdomen. I was not able to reply and post a new article. I'm feeling better now.
I'll try to reply on your comments later 😊
Hard work can Surpass a Genius
Just recently I happened to encounter a pupil, who is at a very young age, he’s already overly confident and so full of himself. There’s this child, who hardly can read but he has the passion to learn. We had our class via google meet and I overheard their conversation. I can’t state the exact words they used but from what I have understood, the other child mocked the other for not being able to read and who only attends the school often because they don’t have internet connection due to indigence. Of course, as a teacher, I called their attention and both were reprimanded for having such a conversation and after that talked to their parents so the rest have been settled.
“Don’t be so confident that you are special by your bloodstream, because brain alone is not enough to complete a body.”
But why are there people who are too confident? They stop taking those steps, thinking they can jump to being masters in a blink of an eye. They see their future in great views, but they are not doing something in the present to make those views into reality.
Have you ever heard a person from a family known for their cleverness was outshone by a stud who came from a poor and uneducated family? Have you ever experienced that you were bested by a person who you thought was born less intelligent than you? Fascinating stories, aren’t they? No one would expect these turn of events could happen. But do you know how they were able to do such? They know the word “hard work.”
Having brains is not enough to put you always in the shining highest place. How can we get that crown of excellence if we don’t even know how to use it? Yes, you come to the class, confident with all the upcoming exams because you are smart. But what is the use of being smart if you haven’t studied your lessons? What will you write on your paper? “I am smart so my teacher will give me an A+ grade,” do you think your teacher will do so? Of course not!
All the gifts we naturally have are useless if we don’t know how to use them effectively. That’s why we can be surprised that out from those nameless clouds of dust comes an exceptional winner. They were not born smart or gifted, but they don’t know the attitude of quitting.
Let’s not underestimate the people who we used to call “naning” short for “naningkamot” industrious in English. They can surpass genius people. Yes, there’s a difference between study machines and naturally gifted people, but all people can be polished by persistence.
Lead image from Unsplash.
Feel the Last day of September 😊
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Looking What's Beyond Obvious
When I was still a high school student, I used to be a GC (grade conscious), competitive, and very much studious. Let me share with you an experience that almost dragged me down to the inner core. Take a ride with me as this time machine that I invented is finally launching.
Cleverness had always reigned in me. But, of course! I didn’t fear anything. I would take the risk just so the crown of excellence couldn’t vanish from me. It was like I always thought that contentment wouldn’t bring me anywhere, so I had to make simple things into worth envy. I had to prove to others that I could surpass them that I was one of the best, if not the best, among all. How would have I made this possible? Easy, by getting high grades and never to fail. (Obviously, this is just another school stuff!)
An exam was then scheduled, so I should be prepared. Luckily, I did find the topics easy as pie; therefore, it wouldn’t cost me a heavy study. The subject, for me, wasn’t difficult, and then I needed not to worry. The exam, true from my expectation was easy, though I studied on the eleventh hour, just before I took it. I went out of the classroom with a big smile, laughing. “Well, I’m going to get another perfect score,” I boasted to myself. I had been preparing to get that assumed score, like showing to my classmates that I would have topped the exam, surpassing them; but, when that time came, unfortunately, a bitter cry got me. I merely thought that the paper handed to me was not mine, that I submitted the wrong paper. I pointed the fault I committed to carelessness. Misty-eyed: the picture of me at that time. My classmates couldn’t believe I got a zero score, which only meant I didn’t get a correct answer, and they laughed secretly. I hurriedly headed back home, and it was raining cats and dogs. Nature expressed what was deep in me like it found a way to console me. A failure, I considered myself. I thought of quitting, maybe I wasn’t compatible with anything. “Quitters win, especially when there are left no reason to fight for,” I believed. I went to my mother and showed her my paper. I was expecting she would scold me that I failed, yet she paid me back with sympathy and a piece of advice. “Close your eyes, and think why that happened,” she said. I tried to seek out an answer as to why it should happen. It didn’t happen just because it had to but to tell me something. Something that blinded me that I truly feared, I declined to accept at the very beginning this fact: I was afraid to get a failing score; I feared to fail; I feared that people would think of me as dull, that I was no better than them. Yet, I came to be enlightened that being hopeless and belittling myself just because of a failing score wasn’t the solution. I faced the mirror, took deep a breath, and smiled because I knew something great was about to happen after it ̶ I would learn to know my limitations. Too much self-confidence is being boastful, and it’s bad!
Thinking how I overreacted during that time pays me a laugh now. Yes, I failed, but I learned something out of it. Anyways, life doesn’t count how many times one falls, eh? Life focuses on how stands up and overcomes falling, and that’s what’s obvious, what I see by my naked eyes because a treasure can also be hidden by mud.
Lead image from Google.
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UYABation
Partners for life are found from partners for a little while. Young people nowadays are very fond of having girlfriends and boyfriends, simultaneously. It's very tricky, the life of "young couples." How they find partners, their situation as partners, and splitting with partners have been trending.
It all starts with a boy being attracted to a girl, and vice versa. Let's expound on the sense of this particular attraction. A boy, as always, naturally, uses his eyes for hunting. And these eyes have particular standards. Lovely face, adorable smile, googly eyes, and most importantly, the perfect curves, are sought characteristics of in a girl that can be boasted with their friends. Make their friends envy and leave them in awe. And not to mention, a girl can insatiate the guy's deep intimate desires, if you know what I mean. And from the girls' perspective, they say that they seek that guy who can make them feel safe, feel comfortable with, who can understand them, and knows their worth. But, in actuality, they are much like guys. They always fall for that guy: tall, handsome, cute, varsity player, all muscles, and no brain. Personality and attitude come later for some girls. Yeah, most of them can afford to choose among many. The right choice is always the one with who they can stroll within public, and can hold hands. And much to their denial, girls actually prefer guys who are good to look at while kissing. The wrong partner means social degradation.
Yes, that's right; and yes, it's a fact. Cool guys end up with hot girls, while average guys go with choiceless girls. These relationships may differ with people involved, but they are all relationships, nonetheless. All would have the same predicaments and circumstances. Even those substandard relationships gain normality over time. Courting is, in essence, a useless thing because when a guy asks a girl if he could court her, and she answers yes, that would already be a crystal clear answer for "Will you be my girlfriend?" And it's off to nightlife. Dates, outings, food trips, dates in the dark, and other social gatherings. Going to parties together, and showing off to friends and acquaintances.
To have this kind of beautiful affair isn't just about all the good things it brings even if they are all you only desire. No matter how perfect think your commitment is, and how compatible you feel with each other, it's still impossible to avoid problems and conflicts. And as pretentious young adults, everyone tries to settle things maturely. But the lifestyle problems we tend to adapt cannot be resolved normally, especially when everybody tries the new trends. Time demands of each party, physical needs, and secret forbidden affairs are now the new fashion.
And when they think they have the best relationship in town, pakk! And just like that, it crumbles down to nothing. Surely, a few cries here and there for formality and respect's sake, but still feelings of freedom and freshness can overcome the said sadness. And another search begins. Nothing feels better than to have someone caring for you always. No matter who the someone is, as long as it's always.
A chapter in the life of having an "uyab." The main foundation of where a marriage begins, this is what UYABation is all about.
Lead image from Unsplash.
Thank you everyone 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
Random Questions to answer or ask your Partner 😉
Being single for how many years made me know about myself more. I was able to discover things that I don’t expect I’m capable of doing. However, there are times when I feel that I am very, very single especially when I’m out with my friends. I am happy for them as they are happy with the people they’re in a relationship with. Sometimes, I miss the feeling of being in love, I miss the butterflies and the sparks. Well, this is my choice, I am happy and contented with this, anyway.
I found some interesting questions on the internet. These are the kind of questions I’d like my boyfriend to ask me if ever I have one.
1. What is your favorite memory of dating me?
The late-night talks? When we exchange sweet-nothings. I always want to relive those times hahaha but I can't because you're still the same since day 1.
2. What food reminds you of me?
Every time I eat ice cream, you always cross in my mind. Maybe because of the cold expression in your eyes but when we’re together it melts away and you became a very sweet child. Yes, you are a child, because you’re my baby.
3. What is your favorite thing that I do for you?
I love how you sing me a song during video calls, it makes me feel like we are not distant from each other. I always feel like I’m the most beautiful woman when you do that. Also, when you tell me dad jokes when I’m not in the mood. I get annoyed because it’s so corny hahaha but please know that I’m dying laughing inside.
4. What movie reminds you of us?
Not really a movie but, we are every Korean drama series I watched hahaha.
5. Do you ever get jealous if you see me talking to other attractive people?
Sometimes, it's not that I don't trust you, but there are girls whom I don't trust. I sometimes felt like anytime they can take you from me because I am not those girls who have maintained their skin textures, slim body type, and glass faces. I am just a normal average girl who can love you in the way I only can.
6. When did you know you wanted to kiss me?
We were not together yet but you were explaining about your ex who sent you a message. That was cute for me. I wanted to kiss you that time so I'd interrupt you and you'll know how much trust I have in you.
7. When we hang out with friends, do I make you feel like you’re still my priority?
Yes. You always check on me if I'm still okay or comfortable or if I ever get bored. I love to hear the whispers in my ears and when I am with the girls across the table, you always mouthed words asking me, are you having fun? or do you want to go now?
8. When do you feel the most protected and taken care of?
Whenever I'm with you.
9. What was the very first thing you thought about me?
I thought you're just gonna be another crush I'll silently simp every night 😁
10. Do you ever wish I could read your mind? When?
Yes, I do sometimes hahaha... Every time I'm PMS-ing hahaha because you're so annoying you keep on asking me if I'm okay when it's obviously I'm not. I know you knew but you're just playing with me so I will divert my attention from my cramps. But, even though I keep on ignoring you, you never get tired of annoying me.
11. What things about me make you know I’m the one for you?
You. Just being you. Like just by looking at you, I could see my future with you. Me being so comfortable and I can just be who I am when I'm with you.
12. Do you believe that I love you?
Yes. 100%
Omg. While answering the questions I feel like I'm so in love. Hahaha, this is euphoria. It's so weird that I don't get the cringey feeling while doing this hahaha. It feels so good to be in love 😊 I know when the right time comes, the right person will come. In God's time.
Lead image from Google.
Thank you so much 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
Ace
The first time I met you, there's a thing I wanted to hide
I felt something insane which I kept inside
For I've been crazy over you,
And I don't know what to do
I remembered the days when you always makes me laugh
Even on the worst days of mine used to be tough
When there were times I was lonely
You're there making me happy
But alongside the happiness are sadness
That these trials and pain I can't face
Because of all you've done, this broken heart
Still longing for the past and the best part
When every time I see you with her
My heartaches won't end, full of err
I lose hope now to say what I feel
Because my heart cannot be healed
It's been a while but my heart still cries
You left me bleeding with full of lies
Now I realize I have to move on and be mended
I am not going to wait until the wound in my heart heals
Lead image from Unsplash.
Thank you so much 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
Guilty Pleasures
There are things that we keep from others because we don't like to feel embarrassed. Habits that we try to resist but we tend to keep on having or doing it.
According to a dictionary, a guilty pleasure is an activity or piece of media that someone enjoys but would be embarrassed by if other people found out about it. These might be books, movies, TV shows, food, etc. Generally, guilty pleasure is something that might be viewed as shameful by some people, like trashy novels or overdone rom coms.
I couldn't deny that I'm very much guilty of having guilty pleasures. When somebody asked me something I do but I think it's uncomfortable for other people to know, I just deny it. I have stated already a few on my previous article, Answering Interesting Questions I've Never Been Asked. So, here is the list that contains everything that has been giving me life over the last few weeks. These guilty pleasures made me a lot of experiences that put a smile on my face especially these days that I am feeling very much single. These are just some of the activities I do in secret. https://read.cash/@Fyangzee24/answering-interesting-questions-ive-never-been-asked-d4d6058a
Online shopping
I know for sure I'm not the only one guilty of this here. I am earning on my own now but the fact that I'm getting addicted to online shopping, I always experience a shortage in the mid-way. I can't count the times I uninstalled my shopee and lazada apps but I kept installing them back. Now, it's been two weeks since I did not open those shopping apps (I'm proud haha) well, probably just too occupied with work. I just hope the spirit of online shopping is not on me anymore haha 😆 Espirito ng katipiran sumanib ka sa akin. I claim.
Late-night snacking
The diet schedule is always postponed if not, it's canceled hahaha... I don't know but I crave a lot at midnight.
For this reason, I don't stock any goods like chocolates, chips, noodles, etc because I end up eating them just in one night. It's just that eating literally hits different at midnight.
Celebrity crushes
I was once called a 'proculsexual' by my best friend. I never heard of such a word so when I look up it on google I was shocked because it really described me on my obsession with my celebrity crush specifically Mr. Jeon Jungkook of BTS hahaha... Proculsexual is having a sexual attraction for those you know you can never actually be with (fictional characters, celebrities, etc). I know it's crazy to think that I feel like I'm in a very serious relationship with him hahaha but it satisfies my soul and it's keeping me alive, char 😆 People keep on telling me it's just an elusive dream. Well, I just shrugged it off, wala akong pakealam sa inyo 😆
Facebook stalking
I don't think if it's already a habit but every time someone sends a friend request, I always stalk it first before deciding whether to accept the request or delete the request hahaha... I am also guilty of acting like a private investigator, especially if there are feuds I read between my mutual friends 😆 My stalking doesn't go in one account only, it will reach to different accounts until my curiosity has been served hahaha.
I am now a pro. Just so you know.
Putting things in an online cart and then never purchasing
Oh, I have a lot to keep in my cart but only in the cart. I wonder when will all those be checked out. I hate that I have so much to buy but my budget is limited. How about yours? Do you have a lot of items pending on your cart? Hahaha
Treating their pets as their children
I am proudly guilty of this. My two bunnies are too precious to not have a mom. I am sad that they're getting bigger now, I feel like they don't need me anymore, worst is, I'm not ready to become a grandmom yet ☹
Confessing my feelings to someone
I hate to admit this but I was young, dumb, and broke hahaha, and innocent when I did that horrible thing. When I think of it I cringe hahaha. I wondered why I confessed to that guy.
So, how about you? What are you guilty of? 😁
Lead image from Google.
Fyangzee
xoxo
Thank you so much 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
Under a Spell
I was all alone in my bed
It's nearly midnight but I can't sleep
Memories about us filled my head
Caused me butter tears to weep
I hugged my pillow tight
While pain kept on teasing me
Trying to ignore it with might
Yet it penetrates inside of me
Minutes passed and time welcomed the dawn
And with weary eyes, my tears ceased
I freed an exhausted yawn
And finally, put my mind at ease
I sighed with complete relief
As the taunting sin subsided
How burdensome it is to keep
Persisting despair you have inflicted
But then, I finally made up my mind
To dry my eyes and say farewell
Leaving everything in the past behind
And put an end to love's agonizing spell
As I can't write an article today, I decided to offer you poetry because my mind is still circling on the finale of a k-drama I just watched 😭
Lead image from Google.
Thank you so much 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
Answering Interesting Questions I've Never Been Asked
Hey there, wonderful people, I got busy these days but now I'm back on track. I came across an article from @Meyzee and just like other awesome articles here, I find it interesting. These are some interesting questions you'd like to answer. If you're interested click here. https://images.app.goo.gl/6MBS7nW9JhVxBXhy8
• What Did You Think Was Cool Then When You Were Young But Isn’t Cool Now?
I thought being an adult was cool when I was just an innocent child. Now, that I’ve become one, I don’t think it’s cool anymore. When we were kids, we couldn’t wait to reach adulthood where all the things seemed awesome, like not having to wait for pocket money or go to bed early. However, when we finally reached that desired age, we see that it’s not always so awesome and that there are much more responsibilities than we thought. You earn your money, but don’t have time to spend it or everything is paid on the bills. Adulthood is just repeatedly convincing yourself not to spend all your money. You go to bed late because of being busy, but you want to sleep early. I even thought that I could be free on doing the things I'd like to do and go to places I want but I've got earlier curfews than before. That's not cool haha.
• What Secret Do You Have That No One Else Knows Except Your Sibling/s?
The secret that no one knows which is no longer a secret now after revealing it is that I have an abnormal fear of lizards. Only in lizards. I don't know why but even if they're up on the ceiling and very far from me, I get nauseated and tremble with fear. The worst part is that I can sense their presence even their hiding behind the curtains or just above the wall. I really hate the feeling that I am talking about those creatures 🤢 I never tell it to my friends or roommates because I don't want to be teased with those. I'm already awfully tortured at the house by my siblings, I don't know if there's a safer place for me to go if everybody knows it. My life's gonna be shorter.
• The House Is On Fire, But Everyone Is Safely Out, The Pets Are Safely Out, And All Wallets/Cash Are Saved. If You Could Make One Last Dash To Get Something, What Would It Be?
My BTS merch. I spend my money, time, and effort on it and some have sentimental value as they are given by some important people so I couldn't just let it turn into ashes.
• When Was The Last Time You Did Something And Regret Doing It?
May 19, 2019. I confessed to my long-time crush while I'm drunk then, on that same day, I was rejected. I was so embarrassed as he announced it to our high school group chat. Now, everyone in my batch still teasing me about it until now. That's why as much as possible I'm trying to ignore meeting with them. I regretted liking him he's such a douchebag!
• What Guilty Pleasure Makes You Feel Alive?
A guilty pleasure is something that you enjoy doing, even though it may be embarrassing, taboo, or even shameful for you to admit it. This could be anything from grabbing another slice of cake when you know you shouldn't, to renting a cheesy rom-com and ordering takeout on a weeknight. I am guilty of Creeping on Facebook or Instagram. Not because I'm thinking of something bad, but I stalk for a reason. Like, a friend on Facebook but I do not know her but her style is different, I will look up her timeline and check her other posts. It's just something that answers my curiosity. Another is eating dessert before dinner — or whenever. I promised myself already to get low on sugar or sweets because of my PCOS but my tastebuds just can't. Daydreaming or fantasizing. Sometimes, the little world in our heads is the greatest place to be. It's private, peaceful and completely controlled by you. Plus, there's nothing wrong with getting lost inside yourself — unless, of course, you're in the middle of a really important business meeting, or something like that hahaha... There's nothing wrong to daydream and fantasize as the secret girlfriend of Jeon Jungkook hahaha... Well, at least it fills my desires 😁
• What Is That One Thing That You Enjoyed Doing But Hated By Everyone Else?
Stanning BTS. Not all people I know appreciate the kind of music they offer and the inspiration they give to all walks of life. One of my workmates said, "aren't you too old for that? It's only good for high school." I just shrugged it off because I believe there's no age for you to become a fan of a specific boyband. People are also saying that they all just give me false hopes that's why I can't keep a relationship of my own because I have them as my standard. It's not true, I love them because they're different, it's out of me being single, it is my choice.
• Which Among Your Biggest Fear Are You Willing To Overcome?
I think it's my fear of failure. I hate the feeling of getting pitied and judged by people when I fail. But, I gradually realized, that we grow in experiencing failure. Actually, I'm starting to overcome it. Whenever there are opportunities that come, I am slowly taking the risk even if there's no guarantee of success. I am slowly accepting the fact that anytime I will encounter failure.
• What Would Be The Absolute Worst Name You Could Give Your Child?
Back in college, I already thought about this. I wished I could have triplets so that I will name them Alkanes, Alkynes, and Alkenes. I just can't forget how these things ramble in my mind during my organic chemistry course Now, I thought of naming my triplets as Pfizer Joy, Marc Sinovac, and Maria AstraZeneca
• Do You Think Psychic Abilities Exist? Which One Would You Like To Have?
No, I don't but if they do I'd like to have their ability on Psychometry or psychoscopy. It is The ability to obtain information about a person or an object by touch. So there's no need for me to introduce myself to an individual if I want to know him/her. All I need is my Midas Touch 😁
• What Is Your Least Favorite Holiday Side Dish?
I know everybody loves this food but on most occasions,s I don't really put Lumpia on my plate. But I do eat Lumpia, but with many options to choose from Lumpia will never be one of the choices.
Thank you for taking some time to read the answers to those questions. I find it really entertaining so I think I'll probably answer more of it 😁
Lead image from Unsplash.
Fyangzee
xoxo
Remembering Cynthia
September 18, 2021
June 24th year 2019. I went to a school I am never familiar with. I was just a fresh graduate with no experience of working at all, well except for the practice I encountered during internships. I was 19 and all I have with me is a small determination to become a teacher and follow my career. I was nervous and uncertain about the outcome but I bravely faced that I am no longer a student. I am now officially unemployed so I need to have work.
I remembered entering the red small gate carrying my handbag with my resumé and other pertinent papers.
I memorized every wrinkled line on your face. Your skin snow as white and your hair as black as ebony because it's newly dyed. You age like a fine wine. I sensed the winter season in you.
You asked me questions I gladly answered. What shocked me was when you told me to demo impromptu. I chose the topic "The Nervous System" as it was my favorite topic in Science. You were the first person to correct me with my pronunciation of a word that has the letter "t". I realized you are strict when it comes to grammar and pronunciation. There I am silently praying that you will hire me because I believe I will grow a lot in you.
Then you asked me, " How much salary would you like if I will hire you?" This question that I can never ever forget. I answered you, "I heard private schools have a minimum salary but it's just fine. I wouldn't be here if I'm after a bigger fortune. I'm here to have experience. That's all that matters." I saw how your bright red lips shined with a smile. You immediately wrote HIRED in my resumé. I was like, "Is that all ma'am?" You said, "Yes! Start on my Monday." I was flabbergasted. I was just like 3 weeks of being officially unemployed.
You were the first person to believe in me. I know I was not the diligent and hardworking person that you like your workers to be but you made me one. You literally, raised me. I was just a caterpillar when I came into your school, now I am confidently flying like a butterfly.
Time flies so fast I can't imagine I surpassed the year with you. Honestly, there were days, I want to leave your school because of you being so tight and rigid with us. I cannot forget the days you ran your mouth with foul words just because of a mistake that can be justifiable by ourselves. Your words are like knives that cut within and leave uncurable scars. But who would've thought that it will make us stronger and more developed human beings.
Two years was long enough to make the bond stronger. We were all fazed with the rapid increase of covid deaths. You always care for us and there was not a day that you will not remind us to keep on wearing our masks and face shields. We all follow because we knew how vulnerable you are with your age.
Online distance learning was introduced to us. You never left us even though you are not familiar with technology because of your age. You may not be able to guide us on how to use our LMS but you always guide us with pronunciation and grammar as you always do. That's why your school is the famous English school in town 😊
We are full of hope in the years of us amidst this new normal. But who would've thought that you will leave without notice?
September 15, 2020, we rushed you to the hospital because you were attacked with your asthma. I was afraid at that time. I was with you in the hospital. I was your storyteller, your caregiver, and your masseuse. I can still feel the body pain I had that time because you were too heavy and you only have me as your support whenever you want to the washroom. It really is a struggle. All the stories you told me when you were young are still on my mind.
After 3 days you were sent to Tacloban for operation. I was not able to come because of Covid protocols. I was too confident that all will be fine because you've been through a lot and that makes you a very strong person.
September 19, 2020, the call I should've not answered as if, it could change things. You left this world, us, your friends, and your family. My system cannot process the whole thing as I was in so much shop. Like, we were just together the few days but now they said you're gone.
No, it's been a year since you went somewhere else. There are times I hear your voice amending us because of the wrong word we pronounced. I can still hear your lively laugh in the kitchen. Everything is just like yesterday. How can I forget you when you imparted a lot in me?
Ma'am Cynthia, wherever you are right now, I wanna say thank you as I was not given the chance to express my gratitude to you for everything. Thank you for believing in me. For all the discouragements that molded me right now, I cannot believe there would be someone as good as you that can turn discouragement into motivation and encouragement. I miss you a lot. Thank you for being a mother to me while I'm away from home. I will never forget you. Forever in my heart, you'll stay.
I'm very sorry for being so dramatic tonight. While making a draft on this, I can't stop myself from crying. It's been a year and it's still painful. She was our pillar and the strength of the whole institution. I am asking for your prayers for her eternal rest as we commemorate tomorrow her first death anniversary.
Thank you everyone 💜
Would You Rather?
Happy Friday Everyone!
I wrote a draft on this one earlier because my schedule is not so tight so I came across a WORD RANDOM GENERATOR and decided to answer entertaining “Would You Rather Questions,” If you are interested you can find it here. https://randomwordgenerator.com/would-you-rather-question.php
1. **Would you rather know your significant other cheated on you once but never will again or not know they ever did and they never will again?**
I’d rather not know. I don’t want to be so irrational towards my partner and overthinking so many things because I know there’s cheating that happened and I don’t want to lose my trust in a person to whom I have given my full trust. You may call it crazy but if I want to keep the person, I’d rather not know what he’s doing behind my back. I know in myself that I’m not easy to forgive a person. It’s just like saving me for a great trauma that could ruin my sanity.
**2.Would you rather be able to change your past or be able to change your future.**
If given a chance, I’d rather change the past so I could refine my future. I have made a lot of bad decisions in the past, that until now I came to regret them. On the other hand, those decisions I made, choices I failed to choose are what makes me right now. I am quite contented with what I have right now. But I was thinking, if I could change my past, probably I don’t have to suffer a little or I could have lived my life smoothly. But, whatever it is, I’m just gonna go with the flow of what God has planned for me.
**3. Would you rather be attacked by a great white shark or grizzly bear?**
I’d rather be attacked by a grizzly bear. I don’t know how to swim so there’s no way I could struggle and fight the shark hahaha. With the grizzly bear, I could get the chance to find a branch to smack the bear. Or If I got no choice I will just let be cuddled by the bear. Cuddle now die later.
**4. Would you rather never own a car or never own a pet?**
I’d rather never own a car. I always love cuddling my pets. I can’t cuddle a car so I’ll never trade my pets for a car.
**5. Would you rather die before your significant other or after your significant other?**
I want to die first before the person I love. I know how painful it is to be left behind. You will die of missing the person and the loneliness is unbearable. It’s not like being selfish, I know he will feel the same too but I just can’t stand to see the person I love lifeless and buried on the cold ground. I can’t bear to see it.
**6. Would you rather have unlimited knowledge or unlimited wealth?**
I’ll go for unlimited knowledge. Unlimited wealth is tempting but being a knowledgeable person makes you powerful than someone who’s just over-flowing with wealth. Being knowledgeable can make you do things and explore a lot which leads you to development and good fortune.
**7. Would you rather have the ability to speak to animals or the ability to speak all languages?**
As much as I wanted to understand animals, I can’t deny the fact that I want to speak all languages. In that case, I’d be able to go to South Korea and confess my feelings to Mr. Jeon Jungkook I will tell him how he rocks my world for real. Not gonna lie, I’m so obsessed. Well, it’s needed because he’s the father of my bunnies hahaha
**8. Would you rather have the power to fall asleep on command or the power to wake up on command?**
I choose the first one. I always sleep late because I find it difficult to sleep early because of my insomnia and yet I still wake up early. That makes me grumpy and tired in the morning. God, how I wish this is possible.
**9. Would you rather have neighbors who were noisy or nosy neighbors?**
I don’t care at all. I could have them both that what makes a community. We need all the “Marites” and “Karens” tho they make our lives less boring but more challenging. Swag. Hahaha
**10. Would you rather find a dream partner or a dream job?**
I normalize practicality so I will follow my dream job. I don’t need to find a dream partner because I already have Jeon Jungkook in my mind. If someone comes along and is not Jeon Jungkook, no thanks I’ll pursue my dream to work at NASA instead.
This is so entertaining. I'll be waiting for your would rathers in life 😁
Lead image from Unsplash.
Fyangzee
xoxo
The Dance of Life
Life is the ability to grow and the existence of an individual human being. The thing that you take actions and mastery, to fulfill life is called, "The dance of Life".
Sometimes, we wonder why is life full of actions. It burdens us. But why do we have to take action? For you to impress everyone? Because of fame? No, it's not. Perhaps, it's because you have to know yourself better, your strengths, and your weaknesses to grow better.
In the dance of life, not all your measures are good, sometimes you also take wrong steps, and those steps provide you with lessons.
A dance is just like life. It needs time, effort, and actions — actions that fit perfectly into the music. Upon dancing, you can't escape mistakes and those mistakes make you stirring to face the reality of life, all you just have to do is practice more and learn about it.
We are all considered performers. The life of a performer is not easy. We need to spend more time and effort before we can perfectly perform but if we don't have long and wide patience for it, it leads to nothing.
A good performer is willing to learn and accounts for mistakes and possesses an optimistic outlook. He will have the courage to do the consequences. Consequently, a price of it, be can be able to secure the torch of victory.
We need to move ahead to guide the race, lean back to certain, make it faster for the edge, hands up then you will see. After you complete the steps, execute in full swing the power you bring, and rest assure to never fall and push a break for a victory. Then all will appreciate the steps of the dance of yours. That's the dance of life.
Lead image from Unsplash.
Fyangzee
xoxo
Thank you wonderful people 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
The Teacher
**Let me tell you a story, so lend me your ears**
**Listen well, and commit it to here**
**For what I'm going to tell you, comes from the heart**
**Of what I observed, and experienced, from that fated person.**
**It starts in a classroom, her voice full of power**
**Commanding, firm, yet compassionate and fun**
**Teaching, conveying, committing to the lesson at hand**
**Passionate, with calculated precision, she enriches the minds of those who hear**
**For you see, dear child, this story is also an ode**
**Singing her praise, giving importance to her passion and work**
**Bringing it into the spotlight, immortalizing it for generations to come**
**The ideals she hold and taught, with all her skills and talent**
**But you see, dear child, a teacher's job is not only teaching**
**Every day she bares her soul, gives out wisdom**
**Every day she consults and advises her students**
**Every day she is stretched thin, utilizing various roles to mold her students**
**So remember well, dear child, commit it to your heart**
**A teacher is only human, they are also prone to errors**
**Remember well, they have emotions and aspirations**
**Teaching is their passion, teaching is their calling**
**Remember well, dear child, commit it to heart**
**A teacher is one among many students**
**They are constrained but are trying their best**
Into molding, shaping you, guiding you, into the path you will take
Lead image from Google.
Fyangzee
xoxo
Covid-19 Vaccination Journey
September 14, 2021
I wake up early today as I am together with my workmates and am scheduled for the covid vaccination today. I prepared all the things needed to prepare, ID, pen, QR Code, water, and snacks just in case we'll not be done by the morning. My roommate and I set off at 6:30 am. I received a message coming from one of my workmates who is our secretary, she told us to go directly to the Brgy. hall as she was not entertained by the health facilitators there because she doesn't have a vaccination form. All of us did not receive any form during the time we went to the RHU to list our names for the scheduling.
The five of us went there. We talked to different personnel of the barangay to ask for the form but neither one of them was able to attend to our concern. We stayed there for more than 2 hours praying for some luck that a health worker will come and will be able to give us a vaccination form. Then, it did come. Sadly, our names are not found on the list, as we are directed to the RHU.
Even if it's raining cats and dogs, we decided to go to the RHU. We cannot extend our schedule of vaccination because we have moved already our class schedules for the day. When we arrived there, only one staff assisted us. Unfortunately, she cannot respond to our query as she was not assigned in getting the list for covid vaccination. Instead, she instructed us to go directly where the vaccination is taking place. We rode another tricycle. This time we are being hopeless, tired, and cold because of the bad weather. We agreed on going back to the school if we will not be entertained this time.
As we went there, the whole Parish gym was crowded with many people. Social Distancing is no longer observed and the fact that it's raining making the way muddy and wet. So, we asked some staff there they lead us to a nurse named "Sheryl", which I decided not to call her by her name because she was our answered prayer and I want to call her, " Nurse Angel". She gave us the vaccination form and assisted us to fill it out.
We've become so hopeful that we can't feel the hunger since it's already 11 a.m. We waited for a while, we ate some snacks and after 30 mins. our numbers are called for us to go to the area where nurses will check our blood pressure and inquired us some questions regarding our health. Luckily all of us passed the health examination. We all have normal blood pressures and nobody among us possesses symptoms of Covid-19.
When we got into the gym, we are separated. Which I think was based on the results of our blood pressure. I was asked a few questions by Dr. Mato. She asked me if I have a history of any kind of vaccination, if I have undergone an operation, or if I had encountered someone who was recently tested positive for the virus. All my answers are NO. The most epic part of the screening was when she asked me if I was pregnant, because instead of saying NO, I automatically said, "No boyfriend doc!" I was so embarrassed that Doctor Mato laughed so hard and the other Doctor on the other table. I was stupid. I feel like I was too being defensive to myself hahaha. After a while, she calmed herself and gave me the vaccination card.
The vaccination card together with the vaccination form and my valid I.D were collected by a health worker for registering our names on their system. After, registration, I went to the other side of the gym. I sat at the back waiting for my name to be called. I roamed my eyes around the gym to look for my workmates because we got separated as we entered the gym. I spotted them and most of them got already shot by the first dose of Pfizer. So, I was left behind by my workmates 😭.
After a few minutes, I was notified when I heard my name. It's my turn! I felt a sudden tension as I have a weird fear of needles. I walked towards the table where I'll be given a shot. Looking on the other side, I felt the tip of the needle, getting through my epidermis. It is painful, my eyes shed a small tear. Just for a second, I'm done. I did my part. I'm kind of proud of myself for overcoming my fear.
Finally! After the crusades, we encountered we achieved the reason we did not hold classes today. I salute all the frontliners, the health workers, and barangay officials who assisted us and most of all, to the Almighty God, for keeping us safe.
As of now, I haven't felt any side effects of the vaccine yet, except for the soreness of my muscle where the needle was inserted.
We ended our first dose vaccination journey at noon. Hopefully, we'll get the second dose on October 5, 2021. I did my part. You should too.
Keep safe always 💜
Lead image from Unsaplash.
Fyangzee
xoxo
Thank you Wonderful People 👇👇👇👇
Not my Place
There are lots of tall, great buildings. There are lots of beautiful and colorful malls filled with amazing things to buy. There are lots of cars and other wonderful buildings running down the busy streets and there are many people with dazzling clothes and shining pieces of jewelry. Views like these belong to one place, the city.
In general view, everyone would love to go to the city. Everyone would like to see its sparkling lights and enjoy its sceneries. They said the city has everything you need and desire. But on my view, I don't want to spend my life in that place that is now called the "modern jungle." Why? I have a few facts that have driven me to this thought.
A story of a young lady named Lucia who went to the city to work as a sales agent. She has stayed there for quite some time and provided her family a good earn. Whenever she comes back, she gets mad whenever she is called by the name "Lucia" or "Luciang" because it sounds so "baduy" and old. But she gives a classy smile to whoever calls her "Lucy." Her long skirts and blouses are kept in the closet and now she wears super short, short pants and shirts that would almost show her chest.
Another story is about Glen who took his degree in the city. After graduation, he returned to his province. Then all of a sudden, he always complains about the dish that he doesn't like. He always stays out of his friends and does nothing to help in their household chores.
These changes were some of the influences from the city. People somehow change their attitude and behavior after they took a step in that place. The old attitude of modesty turned into daring sceneries. The attitude for respect for elders, the meekness, and the acceptance for what you are and what you have are slowly fading away. Those are the FACTS I witnessed.
Maybe not all who stay in the city are like that. But one fact is true, MOST people are. Try to notice the people who went to the big city, if he or she ever comes back, observe the changes. Some of the good sides are replaced and the bad aides came worse. Life in the city causes a great impact on them that brought them these changes.
According to Biology, human has the characteristic to adjust in his environment and the tee is ADAPTABILITY.
We humans have to adapt to survive. And to sustain life in the city, people have to ADAPT in everything how the place is run. And by adapting, they were accepting the ways of the city and slowly changed them. That too is a FACT.
Now, the influence from the city is slowly crawling, making its way to the provinces and villages. Has anyone seen a native Aeta, owned a touch-screen cellphone? Well, I have. One could see a native dressed like a city girl and act like one. Not just the natives but also us, we are influenced too. The view of Maria Makiling's character is very rare nowadays, another fact for you.
We have been colonized for how many years and now we are being colonized by ourselves. We are seldom fond of our products but we look up to foreign things.
Change is good, yes, because it improves us. But never forget on looking back and recalling the past things that were also good and should be preserved because if those things did not exist, we never existed as well.
We are now living in a new era with great things around us, but there are also old things that are much better than the new ones. Try to reflect on it and you'll see.
I'm finally gonna get my first shot of the covid vaccine tomorrow. I'm still not yet certain of what vaccine it is. I'm feeling nervous because I'm hella afraid of needles 😰
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Thank you, wonderful people. 👇👇👇👇
Fyangzee
xoxo
Writing for the Sake of Writing
I've always dreamed of exploring a hidden kingdom of words and phrases, unraveling miles upon miles of uncharted territories of tear-jerking short stories and emotion-inducing essays, as I swim through the oceans of prose and poems unlocking their similes and metaphors like treasure chest found in sunken shipwrecks, only to find myself trapped and had to fight a labyrinth of psychotic thoughts and nightmarish daydreams in an attempt to escape this dangerous lost world I found with my created masterpiece in hand. It may sound far-fetched but this is all that a writer must go through to find his masterpiece. So far, I am nowhere near close to achieving that. And even if the journey of a writer is a perilous road with numerous sidetracks that is easy to get lost to, I would continue and strive to reach that goal.
"You must expect great things of yourself before you can do them." When Michae Jordan said these famous words, it taught me that visualizing ourselves to be the best t what we can do is the greatest single step before achieving glory and greatness. Confidence could be the driving force for someone to persevere. If greatness and confidence don't go hand in hand, I'm certain that people like Ali, Jordan, William, Blake, and Michelangelo wouldn't have made such an impact in their professions. Like all the great writers of the past, the moment they have written that indelible ink on a piece of paper- they expect those verses, stanzas, and paragraphs to touch an unknown soul, along with the hope that their piece was much greater than what they wrote it for. Simply put, have some faith in the stories we write because what's the point of trying something if we're not doing it in the first place. A good writer is a product of numerous shredded papers and amateurish write-ups. We have to tirelessly examine our work, replace our work and mediocrity, and endure hours of lecture from editors and publishers to achieve the desired masterpiece. No person could ever reach a mountain's peak without giving up some steps.
And there are no shortcuts and secret formulas. Like how Stephen King's "On Writing: A Memoir of Craft" book put it, the best and simplest way for us to achieve greatness at writing is to write and write. That's what makes writing, a beautiful human tool. It's part of what makes us human beings, the ability to perceive reality and tell it in a whole new light. Everybody can write. It is a skill that we all have but to persevere and become a master of writing separate artists from individuals. To move mountains, split oceans, and change minds with just a stroke of pen equipped with imagination is a terrifying skill that is worth dying for. If anyone disagrees with that point, Dr. Jose Rizal would certainly rise to his grave just to tell them otherwise. It took a kid from Calamba to afford a ticket to Spain, learn their language, and use that knowledge to write novels that changed the course of history. The pen can be mightier than the sword because literature can stand through the test of time and still have its relevance retained unlike actions do. Nobody would care if I painted my sleeping friend's face with body paint and swiftly got away with it. But if I try to write about the process of what I've gone through to make my friend fall asleep to successfully lay the trap or how I painted my friend's face while snoring and post it on Facebook or in a school paper, everyone would take notice and perhaps remember it for years. The action does speak louder than words but powerful words can shape the actions and hearts of the masses. Mastery of writing is a skill worth acquiring because words can leave a permanent mark on the reader's mind if done right. Those were the things I learned in my journey of writing.
So every time I manage to write a terrible piece for a magazine or in any medium that has a public audience, the only sane thing I can do is cringe at my work and hope people about the piece I made. What we wrote on a piece of paper can be immortalized in the minds of its readers.
Whether the audience thinks of our write-ups is something of significance or just a waste of a good paper, it is best to leave the relevance of the work to their thoughts and emotions. We can scribble all the enchanting words, magical adjectives and find as many unfamiliar terms as possible to put in our sentences and paragraphs. But if it can't touch a single soul, then it's no less than a piece of paper with no words written on it. It's part of what makes a writer., an extremely stressful work.
But an inspiring Octava Butler quote said this, "You start out writing bad and thinking it's good stuff and then you gradually get better at it." Let words flow on a blank sheet of paper because what's really important is to persevere in letting one's pen talk rather than over-thinking what to write. Writing might never be considered as some sort of talent but it is undoubtedly a skill that needs constant refining. It's something that everyone can easily begin with but only a few can find themselves as masters of it. And in my case, I am still on a journey of refining and learning, searching for my desired masterpiece. Poems and proses can only do so much but quench my thirst. But if constantly scratching a page on my notebook while scribbling it with some sentences to have the nerves of calling it a literary piece is a way for me to call myself a writer or having a tyrannical editor-in-chief motivate me to pass my write-ups during deadlines is a way for me to have my verses and prose found a medium for exposure, then the journey of a writer isn't so bad after all.
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Fyangzee
xoxo
Thank you wonderful people for the support 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
Sorry for the very late notice. I want to say thank you to @King_Gozie for the support. You made my day 💓
It's a very wonderful Sunday! Have a Happy Sunday Everyone 😍
A letter to my Future YOU
Dear You,
https://youtu.be/taYxyE34jjY
*Please play music while reading.*
I could have sent you a text or patiently wait for you to come back home to tell you this but it will be indelible if my sentiments are inked in these pages.
It's quite a long time now since I witnessed your smile on that certain day when I gave you my sweetest yes. I am hoping that when you see this piece and dive deep into these words, you will remember how you are making me feel alive.
I never saw you coming. You are those soft little kisses my godfather plants on my cheeks as a sign of adoration. You are my alpha. The one I'm creating my hopes with. To many, you are perfect. The popular guy that can be easily noticed just by walking down the corridors of the school. A science enthusiast who finds more contentment in watching documentaries than in reading. The good-looking guy that most girls want to end up with.
And here I am, the girl, who cannot make somebody turn his back on me when I pass by on the street. I am an introverted bookworm who finds comfort and bliss when I sniff the pages of the books in the corner of my room. The frustrated musician who gets lost in Cigarettes After Sex songs.
Then we met, until now, I do not know if fate did its parts for us to cross our paths but it surely made me perceive something impenetrable. The wounded soul in me that refuses to believe in the magic of love was slowly healed by your mending touch. I searched for the incantations and charms that you cast on me, yet I still couldn't discover it up until now. Then and there, you had triumphantly broken down my walls by your mesmerizing brown eyes, your ravishing smile your curiosity that made in its way to discovering. You made flowers bloom inside me like they were watered with pixie clouds of dust, insusceptible of wilting.
We created a world of our own; a world made out of dreamy twilight, secret glances, and whispered promises. For me, that was more than enough. It's just you and me. Serene, Blissful. In love.
I never fantasized to see my name on a bulletin displayed in public being described, as someone who turned somebody's world upside down nor I demanded to be shown off yet you wanted to plunge into the ocean of muggles with me.
Do you still remember the first time we held hands together in a room full of metaphors? It could just be plain and ordinary performances of poets, but for me, it was surreal because there was you, seated next to me who brought a little more life in that exact moment. I thought that the stars aligned for that time to be perfect, but as I tried to listen to the poets on stage, I sensed that I am judged by unfamiliar eyes.
"What did he saw in her? She's a lump of fat meat. She doesn't even know how to groom her eyebrows."
Those were the exact words uttered by the girl who stared at me incredulously at the far end of the row and managed to look in the direction where we were sitting. I clutched my hand and prevented the liquid catalyzing in my eyes from dripping and acted as if I heard nothing. But my inside already constricted like they were all in knots. You looked concerned as if asking me what's wrong but then I just flashed a smile to look like everything's okay.
By then, those stares were my daily dose of nightmares. The doubts in me that I tried to hide suffocated me. Every time that we're together at school, on fast-food chains, or even at sacred places where discrimination where so much to control, I get so uncomfortable. It seems like I was suspected as the arsonist who set the building on fire. Words were thrown at me like bullets from a gun. Every shot echoed unworthiness, loathing, and abomination. I never thought of falling in love feels like being sentenced to a crime that you aren't even responsible for doing. Does it require you to stay in a cell not made up of cold iron bars? But instead, a bar made up of judgment and hatred. Does somebody need to be pretty, slim, wealthy, or flawless for us to receive the kind of loving that we wish to experience?
For days, those words from a girl whose lips are too red for a seventeen-year-old kept ringing in my head, like the sirens of an ambulance that keeps on pacing back and forth on the streets at night. As much as I want it to disappear, and ignore its existence, the more it sounds so loud that it made me sleepless.
"I'm not good enough for you," I muttered as I ran outside the house before you could close the door and before I could hardly leave. I walked barefooted on roads where broken bottles of liquor are scattered. I scampered as fast as I could, without any knowledge of where am I heading to. Out of nowhere, somebody showed up and he's coming after me. With all my might, I tripled my steps as I was also chasing for my breath until I felt the warm blanket wrapped up in my body.
That's when I felt your lips press to my forehead as if welcoming me to the real world. As I became half-conscious, I sleepily scanned the room, noticed your silhouette as you opened the curtains for me to see the majestic view of the sun while bidding its goodbye.
"You overslept. You wouldn't want to miss it, would you?"
I seated still on the couch, thinking if it really happened, or it was just in my dream. You looked at me teasingly like you always do. I rolled my eyes and headed to the kitchen to find something that can satisfy my hunger.
"Hey!" You grabbed me by the hands, nestled me between your arms, and whispered, "you are more than enough."
Your words are my redemption from all the pain. At that moment, I knew that I'm not the only one who's fighting to work this out. I knew there's you, who is willing to wake me up in the middle of my nightmares. And there's you, the guy whom I thought, would never dare to say 'hi' but the one who saw the best in me. I just want to say thank you, for the constant reminder, that I too am worthy of the love that I am capable of giving. And thank you for making me feel alive.
Love,
Fyangzee
Lead image from UNSPLASH.
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Doom City
Last day, I sunk into an utterly fascinating place then I drew myself from the irksome throngs and proceeded into the field until I reached a small hill upon which nature had spread her comely garments. Now I could feel the inhaled air inside my lungs.
I turned my face behind my back, and the city unfolded with its glorious building with a golden crescent shape on top and the other is the tree of life. The imposing domiciles were enwrapped by the smoke of factories, shops, and chimneys. I embarked to study carefully on every man's mission but only could decide that most of my life was found out with a mountainous pile of struggle and unending hardship. That world tasted in bitterness. So life is pain!
I tried not to weigh in my mind over what the son of the first father had done. Centering my eyes on the field which is the throne of God's glory. In one solitary corner of the field, I noticed a burying ground, surrounded by tall, slender deciduous flowers to that place in the middle of the two cities besides. I fell into a deep meditation. I thought of the nightmarish and eternal silence in the first and the infinite sorrow in the next.
In the living city, I wonder what place will bring. But eventually, it aroused by good motives as well as bad. Filled with a glorious idea, with thoughts of unity: hope and despair, love and hatred, joy and sorrow, wealth and poverty, faith and infidelity as it sent a sharp pang into my heart.
In the Dead City, there is buried land in a land that Nature converts in the night's silence, into a beast, and metamorphosed into a human being. My mind ferreting at some dark corners in this peculiar manner. I saw several people moving slowly and worshipfully in an orderly ceremonial way, convoyed by pieces of sounds that filled the atmosphere with melancholic rhythm, melody, and harmony. As I roaming around, the dead was followed by the living who burst with tears and lamented his going. As the entourage of attendants as well as the corteges came about the place of sepulture, the common priest began praying and produce a burning heavenly incense, and musicians, blowing and plucking their instruments, mourning the departed ones. At that time, relatives came forward one after the another and recited their eulogies with a fine selection of words.
At the conclusion, the crowds departed, leaving the dead behind their backs, resting in a most hallow space and aesthetically crafted, skillfully designed in precious stone and unrelenting iron, and a band of most costly intertwined flowers. The attendants bid their farewells and headed to the city and I remained suspiciously lingering and watching not as a scrutinizing observer but just a keen. In a distant area, I am speaking gently to myself while the sun was setting over the horizon as though the cooling of the world. This, Nature seemed to be under a slumbering time.
Meanwhile, when the pitch-black starts to rise, I saw two men drugging the heavy rustic wooden coffin. Behind them, a woman down-at-the-heels carrying a baby in her arms and lying on her bosoms. Also, there was a dog beside her, following while wagging its tail, with its eyes in grief, and intolerable anguish, staring at the woman and the coffin.
Truly it was a poor funeral. This visitant of death left the place a miserable and lonely wife and a baby to share her somber and sorrows and a loyal dog whose heart knew of his comrade's departure.
When they reached the cemetery, they buried the coffin into a long narrow excavated dug in the land. Away from the bushes and precious stones, and withdrew right a few simple words to God. The dog made a gaze one last time at his friend's grave as the trees disappeared the least group behind. Though I have no more wish to linger here, again I looked at the Living City, and told myself, "For, in the world of men, that place belongs to the few." Suddenly, my eyes caught the glint of light in a trim Dead City and told, "For, in the world of men, that place belongs to the few. Oh God, where's the harbor of all the people?"
There was surface truth enough in these things as I told this. I fixed my eyes towards the clouds that enshrouded the day with the brightest sun that climbs the sky. The grandeur light was cast by golden rays, and I heard a voice within me saying, "Over there!"
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Fyangzee
T_T
My Love Story Pt. 2
Part 1 https://read.cash/@Fyangzee24/my-love-story-02370f61
...cont.
I remained standing, absent-mindedly. He said there should be no hurt feelings, but then why did I find myself longing for him?
My arms wanted to hug him. Unknowingly, I felt the hard lump on my throat.
I blinked and notice I was misty-eyed. I pointed upward, "Lord was I right in making him walk away?"
I climbed up the stairs, closed the door, and threw myself in bed.
Gloominess was an understatement of my feelings that day.
There was a minute that I just kept staring at the rough floor and stay there motionless, undecided on what to do.
Even if I was doing the household chores, thoughts kept rushing through my mind and kept taunting me. To forget what was bothering me, I slept, and thank God I succeeded.
But, it struck me again when I woke up. I took a cold bath and went to his roommate.
He handed me a letter from him that if ever we're meant to be, hoped that God Almighty will bring me close to him.
Saturday night, eleven in the evening.
I cried with all my heart's content unto the Lord telling Him I'm not ready for this heartache.
I totally couldn't bear the pain of losing him.
"Lord, if this is Your decision to make us apart, can you please not make it very painful?"
I prayed to Him to grant my wish that if I dream of him in the cold night, I would win him back. I fell asleep. And amazingly, I dreamed of him, the two of us talking.
Sunday, 4:45 in the afternoon, miracles of all miracles, he arrived in the house telling me he cannot make it without me, that he also felt what I had suffered.
What else could I do?
I immediately forgave him and hugged him. Words do not really matter as long as he's now with me.
God made a way for us to realize that life is unbearable if we don't have each other. And we understood that every problem is just too small to break us together.
Years later, we parted again, but this time with a new emerald of hope deep within our hearts tomorrow.
This is the delayed second part of the story I made. I just wanted to finish it.
I know, it's so shabby but it's what only my mind can be able to process. I'm still on the verge of the healing process. My mom is really in need of my attention.
Thank you for all the warm messages. I am very sorry if I was not able to make a response or reply to every comment. But, I read all of it. I am thankful to everyone who cares.
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Fyangzee 💜
Despite all the bad events that happened to me and my family, I am very much thankful for God has not forsaken me. Thank you all so much for giving me good words to read to strengthen my mind. 💓
@Fyangzee24
