Quote that "Line"

It's a very cold Thursday tonight. It's been raining nonstop since afternoon. Hopefully, hereafter the skies will turn back to blue and the sun will appear because I soaked my dirty clothes tonight with laundry soap so I could wash them early tomorrow and hung them to dry.

It was just a typical day. I had my class and I just give lessons and homework. I felt so light-headed earlier because I woke up again very early at 3 am and I was not able to go back to sleep. I browsed read.cash and read some articles expecting that anytime I'll doze off.

I was thinking the whole day about what to write for this day.

Then I remembered to share my favorite lines I got from the story "It Ends With Us" by Colleen Hoover.

The story was about a woman named Lily, who grew up in an abusive home. She witnessed how her mother was badly treated by her father but what she hated the most is that her mother couldn't leave her father. Then there's this boy, Atlas, from her school who was living in an empty house behind their house. She helped him with food, clothes and sometimes let him shower at their house when her parents are not around. He was also physically abused by his stepfather that's why he ran away. They somehow found comfort in each other because they both understand what is it like to be physically and emotionally hurt. They fell in love and soon enough her father knew that she was dating a homeless guy, her father beat Atlas to the pulp right before her eyes. Since then, they never see each other again, but she knew that Atlas was saved because her mother brought him to the hospital. Many years after, she moved on and lived her life the way she wanted and she met a gorgeous neurosurgeon, Ryle Kincaid. He was passionate about his work and loves Lily very much. But, he has anger issues that sometimes he can hurt Lily physically without him realizing. Atlas comes back to her life and when he knew that Ryle was someone like her father, he tries to get into their relationship to save Lily. But, Ryle was not like her father, he was someone who needs help psychologically. Lily was there. Lily's love tamed the beast inside him.

It was really a good story. I highlighted a few of my favorite lines from the story because it's very relatable.

"There is no such thing as bad people. We're all just people who sometimes do bad things."

Not all the time we are good to others. I believe we all possess undesirable attitudes that only get out when triggered. I will not deny that sometimes, I am hateful, snub, and insensitive. That is a part of me but I am trying my best to as much as possible to avoid such awful behavior.

“All humans make mistakes. What determines a person’s character aren’t the mistakes we make. It’s how we take those mistakes and turn them into lessons rather than excuses.”

Making mistakes are normal because none of us is perfect. We are inevitable in making mistakes. Once is enough to learn from your mistakes but doing the same mistake again for uncountable times is no longer reasonable.

“Just because someone hurts you doesn’t mean you can simply stop loving them. It’s not a person’s actions that hurt the most. It’s the love. If there was no love attached to the action, the pain would be a little easier to bear.”

This is exactly what I felt. I was greatly hurt by the words of my father, but it's not enough for me to hold grudges and hate him for making me feel worthless. Despite everything I still love him. This is why the pain is unbearable.

"Naked truths aren’t always pretty"

Sometimes the truth can hurt us. We always want everyone to be honest with us, but when the truth is something that can cause pain, I'd rather hear a lie. I was in denial, about what my family said, it was the truth I don't want to hear. The truth that I have been aware of for a long time but I kept on denying it. It's the ugliest truth I've ever heard.

"I feel like everyone fakes who they really are when deep down we’re all equal amounts of screwed up. Some of us are just better at hiding it than others.”

I'm someone who was best at hiding. My colleagues don't know what I've been going through right now. They tell me their stories about the downsides of their lives but I never told them mine. I only listen to them and comfort them if they needed. They always told me, how easy and light my life is but deep down, my life is as screwed and fckd up as theirs.

“I’ll keep pretending to swim when really all I’m doing is floating. Barely keeping my head above water.”

When at work, I act like nothing is going on with me. I am pliant like bamboo. I keep on going even though I feel the heaviness of the weight of my head with all of the negativity inside my mind. Even so, I'll keep on floating, I'll let waves decide where to take me.

“Sometimes even grown women need their mother’s comfort so we can just take a break from having to be strong all the time.”

I am independent in many ways, but, feeling down like this, I need my mother's caress. I remembered the night when my father said the naked truths to me, I only cried the whole night, and mom went inside my room and she cried with me too. She was caressing my back and telling me to stop crying. I felt bad when I said to her that I am not going home for some time because I needed space. I know for sure my mom doesn't like the idea of not seeing me for weeks or months, but, she knows it's better to let things calm down. I miss her so much. I wish she would call me by tomorrow.

That's all for now folks! I hope you all had a great day today 😊