A Memory worth to Remember

How's your Wednesday? Today is just like the other Wednesdays. Except for, I'm still busy with making questionnaires for the upcoming 3rd quarter test for the Grade 6 pupils. We have them scheduled 1 week advanced than the other grade levels because some schools are already starting their entrance examination for incoming Grade 7 students. I was inactive for days because the signal here became weak that caused a lot of delays in our work too.

I remembered I had a memory on Facebook dated March 13, 2020. It was a memory of me that tested my patience with my pupils.

It was almost the end of the school year 2019-2020, my first-year experience in teaching. I felt so bad as a teacher for what happened at that time. I was conducting an examination, which was for the fourth quarter already, to my advisory class with a heavy feeling. My allergies are attacking me and aside from that, I am not feeling well when I woke up that morning. I remembered how bad my condition was at that moment. Then, there's this kid ( a grade four pupil, he is now in sixth grade, still under my advisory 🙌) who keeps on calling me and asking me random questions. At first, I answered all his questions without hesitation. That's what I am supposed to do as a teacher. Then came the next seconds or minutes, his asking of questions became continuous to think that it was their final test. That became an irritation to my ears. While conducting the exam, I kept on roaming around. I was guiding another pupil when he called me again, like this time I'm off to my limit, so unintentionally I shouted at the kid which stopped him. I just said, "STOP IT! **** YOU'RE SO ANNOYING! GANINA RA KA HA!" A fervent atmosphere covered the whole room. Everyone was silent and everyone was looking at me. I saw terrified and worried eyes. I looked at the kid I shouted at and I saw him with teary eyes. I let the others continue to answer their test and I approached the kid. I took his hand and I brought him to my table. He was just looking at the floor. Then I said, 'sorry! I didn't mean it.' Then his face suddenly glowed up and smiled at me. 'Here's my paper miss. Sorry, that I'm annoying today. It's just that I studied a lot on your subject to get a perfect score and I don't know why I remembered only half of them 🙁 That's why I keep on asking you to get a bit of a clue. I know you're not feeling well miss, and I want you to be happy with my score, but I guess I failed to do that 🙁 I took his paper and looked at it. He was smiling now but it doesn't reach his eyes. The disappointment was engraved in his eyes. It rendered the heaviness inside my chest. With just a simple thought, it magically touched my heart. So, as I checked his paper, the boy did not fail to put a smile on my face. That was beyond happiness.

I just missed being with the kids, seeing them enter the class, wearing neatly their uniform, and hearing their laughter when they play games after class. It's not easy to take care of children not your own especially if you're someone who doesn't have any experience of having a child your own. In the classroom, the teacher is the parent, you have to look out for each of them making sure that they are learning, safe and comfortable.

It's making me feel sad with the thought that the first advisory I had is almost graduating, they'll be going to different schools, have different friends, and different teachers. I wanted to know how much I have shared in their lives. Would they remember my lessons once they encounter something that they can relate to? I feel like I'm going to miss those kids.

I hope they will never forget about me.