Pursuit of Self-Improvement.

I'm obsessed with bettering myself, wait let me be clear, it's not the bad side of the word obsessed. I had no belief in myself, no sense of self-worth, less self-love before because growing up, I beat myself with other's opinions and standards. I realized my self-worth late, I think I'm already 28 yrs. old when I realized that I have to become a better person not for others but for myself.

My positive and negative side of the mind is really equal. When I feed my mind of positivity, it's extreme. I'm so motivated, happy, energetic, grateful..but when something unfortunate happens that is out of my control, the negative side of my mind is extreme as well. Never-ending negative self-talks, no energy, no positive energy can enter my mind no matter how much positivity others will say. I was worst before, when I'm in a bad shape, my mind keeps on telling me to choose the easy way. But now, when I feel that my negative mind starting to consume me again, I can easily shrug it off. I can say and I feel that I'm way better than my past self. I always acknowledge my emotions, I can pretend to other people that I'm okay but I can't do that to myself. If I'm not okay, I acknowledge that I'm not okay, the hardest part is, our business is affected. That's why I have to get back on track as fast as I can.

Been MIA for 2-3 days and now I'm back. It's fast actually before it took me 2 months that's why our business suffered, big time.

Aside from improving my mental health and mindset, discipline at work is what I'm focusing on lately. @bbghitte shared one episode of "Confession of a Business Owner" on youtube. She said that I can relate, and she's absolutely right. While listening to the guest's story, about the hardship that he encountered, I said to myself that 'oh, I did that too, I experienced that too". They're 4 in the team too like ours, and the guest is like me, he's the overall too. He sleeps 4 hours only every day, I did that too. When we started our business, I have to make a lot of designs to offer, that I have to sleep at 3:00 am and wake up at 9:00 am. We started from scratch, I was so motivated before like a college student who enjoys their favorite subject.

The guest shared his life lessons. He said that we should practice discipline above motivation. We should put it into a habit, coz when your motivation fades, all of your plans will soon fade coz you will stop because of your lack of motivation. And in reality, we are not always motivated, that's why we must learn how to be disciplined.

Been there, I was highly motivated when I started the business, but because of some circumstances that happened in the past, (more on personal problems) my motivation was affected too. I'd learned a lot from that experience and always trying my best to have discipline and focused in a world full of distractions.

I tried two ways, first the Pomodoro method. You'll pick a task, set a 25-minute timer, and work on that single task until the time is up, and take a 5-minute break. Every 4 pomodoros, take a longer break, 15-30minutes is enough.

The second is the deep work. Get more done with less time. The study suggests that the limit for deep work per day is four hours, and the beginners can do about 1 hour a day and experts as many as 4 hours. Remove any distractions as much as you can before you start your deep work.

In my case, deep work is more effective than Pomodoro. Coz when I started to have a 5minute break, it feels like I want to ask for more time for a break haha. When I started to do other things during that break period, I'm already distracted and it's hard for me to focus again. I tried deep work and I succeed on my first day, with 4 hours of deep work. But failed the next days, because in every deep work,it has an equivalent of deep rest and that's where I failed. I still have a bad sleeping habit like now it's already 3:30 in the morning and I'm still writing here lol. Deep rest is necessary to avoid being burnout.

I tried again earlier, my deep work schedule is every 1;00 pm to 5:00 pm. I succeed in the first 2 hours without distractions and focused only on my tasks, but I failed in the next 2hours. But it's okay.. wanna take it slowly until I can finish those 4 hrs. It's very effective to me than working shallow works then get distracted.

It's not easy to improve ourselves, but if you give an effort for your own sake, small progress is still valuable. We can't change overnight, it's a matter of hard work, discipline, and prayers of course.

Thanks for dropping by. Keep safe and good mornight.