My Favorite MagSafe Accessory
I'm continually losing my wallet. Be that as it may, this is for one extremely straightforward explanation: I scarcely need it nowadays. Because of Apple Pay, my iPhone has transformed into what I like to allude to as The Magic Free Money Machine.
Nonetheless, there are times when I need to recover my wallet either to snatch the three-digit CVV code for online buys or to fish out my driving permit. Tragically, because of the inconsistency with which I use it nowadays, I can easily forget where I leave my wallet.
I had a go at putting an AirTag in one of the compartments to make it simpler to find, yet they're unmistakably not made for that reason; embed an AirTag into your wallet and you'll basically make a frightful lump and wind up reviling each time it gets out.
Along these lines, in a bid to address my wallet problem, I purchased the MagSafe Wallet, and it's one of the coolest little Apple items I've at any point got my hands on.
**What is the MagSafe Wallet?**
It's anything but a wallet. At any rate, not in the most genuine feeling of the word. As far as I might be concerned, a wallet is a little foldable holder for cash and Visas.
In any case, perhaps I'm antiquated.
The MagSafe Wallet follows the lead of the cutting edge wallet which is, to all aims and purposes, a little slipcase several cards. It doesn't overlay and it doesn't have any secret compartments for spare change. And keeping in mind that you can get three cards into it, I wouldn't suggest doing as such in the event that you extravagant recovering any of them.
This apparently makes it one of the most un-practical wallets available and, all things considered, will not interest solidified wallet clients.
The MagSafe Wallet joins attractively to the rear of your iPhone and highlights a thumb-sized cut-out at the back which is intended for recovering cards from the wallet with a swipe of that digit. It's produced using calfskin and feels like it'll endure a ton of misuse. Indeed, this is the most impenetrable, most very much made non-aluminum extra Apple has made for quite a while. It's additionally a delight to hold and run your fingers across, dissimilar to the frightful material they use for adornments like the Magic Keyboard and AirPods Max case.
However, no matter what, it's a cowhide slipcase for two cards that joins to the rear of your iPhone. Albeit this will make it an extreme buy for wallet conservatives, it'll please any individual who prefers a basic highlights list.
**What's it like in ordinary use?**
I purchased the MagSafe Wallet, wondering for no specific reason. I needed to check whether it was something that would profit me and discover a spot in my regular daily existence, yet I was additionally inquisitive concerning whether it would show a similar intrinsic defect with MagSafe as shown by the Battery Pack.
That blemish identifies with arrangement.
MagSafe comprises of two magnets — a round one at the 'highest point' of the embellishment which is entrusted with most of the hold (and, I expect, the information association), and an upward magnet intended to help arrangement.
The upward magnet isn't sufficient.
This is inconvenient, in light of the fact that, actually like the MagSafe Battery Pack, the Wallet will sit slant whiff on the rear of your iPhone when you rapidly toss it on. A little change is then needed to guarantee it sits square, as proposed.
I actually can't exactly get over how un-Apple-as is this. This is an organization known for its tender loving care. For what reason isn't that upward magnet more grounded? For what reason don't embellishments like the Wallet and the Battery Pack join with a similar remedial flawlessness as the snap of an iPad connecting itself to a Magic Keyboard?
That to the side, the Wallet does essentially remain appended once it's on the rear of your iPhone. The individuals who are stressed over it dislodging while at the same time being put into a pant pocket can relax; notwithstanding the arrangement issues, the magnets do seem to hold the Wallet solidly enough.
They're additionally adequately free to make recovering your cards a very basic interaction. And keeping in mind that the need to do as such takes a touch of becoming acclimated to (it took me some time to work out what the thumb cut-out was for on the back of the Wallet), it rapidly becomes instinctive. In the event that you need a card, you rapidly disconnect the Wallet from your telephone, thumb-out the card and away you go.
As noted before, you'll get three cards in there at a push, however it is a push. This may be because of mine being spic and span; I surmise the cowhide will loosen up a little after some time, however for the present, this is certainly a two-card wallet.
This has constrained me to consider cautiously about what I place in there, and I've adjusted on my primary individual Mastercard and a rec center pass. The last is the distinct advantage for me, since I'm perpetually losing my exercise center pass. Presently, it's constantly joined to my iPhone, which is consistently with me. Issue addressed.
In the course of the most recent couple of days, I've discovered that the MagSafe Wallet isn't actually intended to remain connected to your telephone continually. Without a doubt, it's the capacity to eliminate it so effectively that makes it a particularly incredible minimal extra.
For example, subsequent to checking in at my exercise center, I isolate the Wallet and leave it in my storage. Around evening time, I eliminate it again prior to charging my iPhone on its MagSafe stand. This has brought about a wallet that, at long last, never walks out on me and subsequently never gets lost. It's likewise important that the MagSafe Wallet is an alluring easily overlooked detail when not appended to an iPhone, and I presume many individuals will utilize it in that pretense.
**Who is the MagSafe Wallet for?**
In the event that you like your wallets to be loaded down with installment cards, reliability cards, ID cards, receipts, banknotes and spare change, I'd take a hard pass. The MagSafe Wallet is ideal for individuals who don't convey many cards and have zero interest in gathering spare change. However, it likewise presents an intriguing test for any individual who's hoping to pare down their every day convey.
The way that it's unmistakably simply intended to several cards constrains you to contemplate the total necessities. As far as I might be concerned, it boiled down to two cards whose nonattendance would be felt in various day by day circumstances; I truly can't overemphasize how helpful this has been for my exercise center card.
Notwithstanding, it's very much made, alluring and is decorated with the Apple logo, which will be a draw for certain individuals. Accordingly, it seems like you're getting enough for your cash.
Prior to the Wallet, I was uncertain about MagSafe's utilization past something besides a super-helpful charging technique. Apple needs to work on the magnets to settle that disturbing arrangement issue, yet the MagSafe Wallet is an illustration of an adornment that powers positive routine change.
I Finally Learned to Say 'No' - How You Can Too
I have at last figured out how to say "no." I am 43. It's required 25 years of my grown-up life to become familiar with these two minuscule letters. Why? Three reasons, the blend of which is the ideal tempest for somebody like me: 1) I am an accommodating person; 2) it's human instinct to be truly penniless and requesting, considerably more so since we're caught at home; and 3) We live in a "say yes to life" culture. In any case, of the relative multitude of things that the pandemic has shown me, this is presumably the most remarkable one: "No" is the new "yes." Let's separate it:
I'm an accommodating person. Possibly you are, as well. For a long time of my life, in the event that you said the sky was green, I would say, "You know, it looks a little green today." I would discover some bit or beam or shadow of the obviously blue sky to make it valid. Tracker. Lime. Olive. Greenery. Pick a shade. There should be some green in there. I made it my main goal—in a nanosecond—to track down the green.
Why? Since I needed so gravely to interface with individuals. I needed to have a place. I needed to be important for the gathering. I needed to discover shared view with you enough that I would glaringly overlook my own eyes to concur. Obviously put, it was simply simpler. I saw zero worth in clashing. Conflicts lead to struggle. Struggle implies contending. Contending prompts battling. I experienced childhood in a house brimming with battling, drained of limits. I just couldn't do it. I would never summon "no." "Yes" evades the offensiveness of its inverse.
I was additionally a gay child. No compelling reason to go maybe a little overboard. I pay my specialist to examine the injury, all things considered, you don't should be exposed to it. However, all things considered, those of us who grew up deceiving ourselves for a very long time are extremely used to professing to be something—anything—we are not. Net-net, the human satisfying fell into place without any issues for me. Saying "no" implied I would need to remain by an elective perspective on the world—or elective perspective on the sky—and that was simply a lot for me to deal with. (Note: I need to thank the essayist Anne C. Frazier for her work on human satisfying. It has been really useful.)
Individuals are truly poor and requesting. Everybody is out to get approval, bliss, love, and acknowledgment. We're hard-wired for it. It's even in our establishing Declaration as a country. We're 328 million individuals continually seeking after bliss.
Maybe the lovely and reality of life that we found over the previous year is that we need one another, profoundly. We need to associate one-on-one, in gatherings, and with the bigger entirety. We encircle ourselves with these concentric circles: family, companions, local area, Facebook. It's the means by which we work as friendly animals. Saying "yes" frequently presents to us that approval, love, and acknowledgment from every one of those concentric circles. Together, this causes us to feel associated, cherished, seen, and esteemed.
All things considered, in the event that somebody doesn't get that approval, love, and acknowledgment from you, they will doubtlessly get it elsewhere. In the event that you can't satisfy the need at this moment, another person can. So "no" truly signifies, "I can't give you that today. Attempt somewhere else this time." Harsh, I know. However, in case you are a consistent wellspring of approval, love, and acknowledgment for every other person, odds are that you have no time or energy to give those exact same things to yourself.
We live in a "say yes to life" culture. America is the place where there is "yes." Yes implies opportunity. Indeed implies access. Indeed implies we are extending—personally, as a brand, as a power on the planet. For what reason would you say "no" and remove a potential way to every one of the things that you need: love, cash, achievement, associations, new encounters?
This way, however, is the issue. What's more, that is the thing that I have found being caught at home (solo) for the last year: I can at this point don't buy in to the idea that "yes" is the way to all I have at any point needed. Truth be told, I have tracked down that "no" is the street back to me.
"No" allows me to have additional time in my day. "No" eliminates the pinging and the ringing. "No" allows my nights to unfurl as they will. "No" allows me to sustain my new relationship. "No" makes the space for me to find, make, reflect, and develop—or simply sit at home and do totally nothing.* When the pandemic began, we as a whole said "yes" to each Zoom welcome, each virtual gathering, each academic intersectionality night. Since our customary wellsprings of approval, love, and acknowledgment were cut off rapidly, in merely days, we needed to discover better approaches to get to those sources. Zoom and Teams and Verizon and Spectrum were glad to help.
However, as the year trudged on, I found that I was stopping up my timetable similarly as I had previously. A considerable lot of us were. Each evening must be full. Consistently must be arranged. Consistently must be represented. In case I wasn't booking my life as far as possible, others were doing it for me. Furthermore, I was saying "yes." It was a characteristic and entirely justifiable reaction to the significant world shift we were all in all encountering. Unexpectedly, I was arriving at my enthusiastic immersion point without going out. Virtual life was similarly just about as occupied as genuine life. Something needed to give.
Also, that is the point at which I just began saying "no." Plain and straightforward. Apologies, can't do it any longer. What happens next is anyone's guess. The appropriate response is no. Done. Much obliged. Also, amazing, it has transformed me. Also, presently I love it. I can't get enough of it. Since "no" opens up a totally different universe of "yes" — "yes" to every one of the things that I simply haven't had the opportunity or energy for in the last five-to-ten-to-twenty years of my life: doing the New York Times Spelling Bee day by day, rehearsing my calligraphy, composing, perusing once more (real paper books!), and investing time with concealed loved ones without running off to 19 different responsibilities. For those of you who know and love the 80/20 principle, "no" has helped me 80/20 my whole life. (So has Sarah Knight. I'm currently a faithful pupil of "not giving a fuck.")
In this way, to be useful, my companions, here are nine different ways that I presently say "no." I regularly discover when I need to change a conduct, I need new dialect. We are what we talk. Toward that end, I offer you these new expressions to help you find "no." Try them out. Tell me how they work. Novices, attempt the expression. Go ahead and substitute the subtleties as you wish. For those of you who are progressed, add "No" before the expression. (By and by, I avoid "I can't." It's completely false. You can, however you simply don't have any desire to. Be straightforward. Lying makes you a poop chute. I additionally avoid "I am so occupied!" or "Things have been nuts here!" Lies. Untruths. Untruths.) Give it a shot. I trust "no" opens up an entirely different universe of "yes." And that it is the street back to you.
Sitting at home and doing literally nothing is the gift and the scourge of the pandemic. In any case, it is, first, a bad dream for those of us who are Type A. I'm figuring out how to accept the bad dream. Gee, possibly it is, truth be told, a fantasy.
Human Effects of Earthquake Trauma and Reducing it
In my previous article, I mentioned that traumas are divided into two as natural origin or man-made ones. Although earthquake trauma may seem like a natural trauma, the inner side of the matter is not like that at all. Despite the fact that we are in an earthquake zone, buildings that are built uncontrollably and irresponsibly, administrators who turn a blind eye to the construction of these buildings, opportunistic looters, those who try to make their own advertisements by taking advantage of the situation, those who abuse the images of the victims, taxes that are not clear where they go, the situation of the people who survived the earthquake like a "**miracle**". When I say attachments to superior powers, all I see in people lately is anger. And this anger is not an existential anger against a natural phenomenon that is beyond our control. On the contrary, it is justified and appropriate anger with a clear object.
Normally, traumas caused by natural disasters are expected to be overcome more easily due to the fact that they are tied to the forces of nature or fate. Because there is a destruction that has occurred as a result of the natural activity of a power greater than we can control, without any intention. In such traumas, people's trust in society and the state does not completely disappear. However, the color of the event changes in human-induced traumas. It is not only the buildings that are destroyed here, the sense of trust is shaken to its foundations.
Unsupervised, cement and iron stolen buildings are responsible and guilty of both the builders and the managers who do not supervise it. Delays in aid, bias in distribution, double standards, abuses increase the severity and duration of trauma stress experienced by trauma victims. The trust of these people in institutions and the state is completely destroyed. In addition to all these, human-induced crimes such as robbery, looting, assault and rape increase in the turmoil that arises after a disaster such as an earthquake. After an earthquake, we saw that the wreckage and dead looters came from other cities with trucks, not only the debris but also the houses that were abandoned out of fear, and the black market goods were sold to the earthquake victims. Such malicious, irresponsible, negligent, opportunistic and disruptive events make the earthquake not a natural trauma. Therefore, there is no trauma of 100% natural origin. Therefore, the main task of the state is to provide a sense of security.
At this point, there is another very important point to be noted. In this process, state elders should be very careful about their discourse. First of all, it should be known that the minds of societies exposed to a traumatic event become polarized. As a result of trauma, people begin to think polarized, there is either a friend or an enemy, there is no in-between. For this reason, especially country administrators should avoid rhetoric that polarizes the society. As was done before the 1999 earthquake, to attribute the cause of the earthquake to the morality of the people in the region where it occurred, to romanticize the situation of those who survived the destructions based on human negligence with expressions such as "miracle", and even more painfully, when these statements came out of the mouths of the state elders themselves, it further damaged the sense of trust that was shaken, it only serves to deepen polarization, anger and grief.
Although trauma is included in the anxiety-anxiety group disorders, it is basically anger and grief disorder.
Intense anger is observed especially in victims who have suffered physical harm in trauma, who have been wronged afterwards, and whose beliefs and values have been destroyed. They are angry because this trauma happened to them and because nothing happened to those responsible, because they were injured physically and emotionally, because they lost their pre-traumatic innocence, belief that there is goodness in life, and their sense of security. It is quite normal to experience extreme fear and confusion immediately after an earthquake, to react abruptly and violently if you have lost loved ones, or to be frozen, to blame others in denial, anger, and rebellion.
A week or two after the earthquake, numbness, extreme fear, feeling helpless, experiencing the event over and over again or not being able to remember all or some parts of the event, staying away from people and not wanting to talk about the subject, insomnia, irritability, irritability, extreme startle, palpitation, trembling and breathing difficulties can be observed. Along with all this, feeling that you have no future, blaming yourself for the death of your loved ones, and feeling helpless and unable to do anything in the face of what you've been through are also natural reactions. These symptoms are normal reactions to an abnormal situation after experiencing a traumatic event such as an earthquake. However, if these complaints do not subside within a few weeks, you should seek support from a mental health professional.
**So what can be done to deal with trauma?**
After a death-threatening event such as an earthquake, anxiety and related symptoms such as frequent breathing, palpitations, and difficulty in breathing may be experienced. These are the usual symptoms that occur when endangered. Anxiety has the feature of making people feel like they're going to "go crazy, die", but it neither drives them crazy nor kills them. When you feel in danger due to the event, it is natural to experience symptoms such as palpitations, shortness of breath, nausea, tremors, and a feeling of pressure in your chest. When your anxiety subsides, these symptoms disappear on their own.
It is necessary to share the feelings and thoughts about the event. Talking about your experience with a relative who can listen to you and maintaining positive and supportive relationships with your friends, family and neighbors will be beneficial in this process. Social support improves psychological post-traumatic effects. Do not try to suppress your emotions and sadness. Share your feelings and thoughts about the event with those who listen to you.
Even if it is worrying to enter closed environments or be in crowded places after an earthquake, it should not be avoided. However, you can try to do these with people you know and trust until your anxiety level decreases.
In particular, children should not be exposed to images and videos of earthquakes. In addition, the abuse of images of victims should be prevented. As adults, we may sometimes need to watch images. However, watching the images of destruction over and over again throughout the day will have a negative impact on the mind. Limit watching such news.
In the first days, insomnia, loss of appetite, not wanting to do anything, feelings of weakness, helplessness and hopelessness are common. Therefore, do not use sedatives or alcohol, your sleep will improve within days.
Especially after such major traumas, more attention should be paid to body care. Do not use coping methods that will negatively affect your health, such as alcohol and cigarettes. Try to do whatever relaxes you (walking, talking to your friends, worship, being in nature, etc.). If you are feeling very anxious, breathing exercises and relaxation exercises may be good.
After disasters and traumas, people may tend to look for a culprit. Beware of rumors and news and gossip that could turn them into scapegoats because of a single person or group. These rumors, which range from simple gossip to supernatural explanations, can cause social divisions. Since a divided and polarized mindset will dominate the society due to trauma, we should pay more attention to our individual social media posts and not contribute to the dissemination of news of unknown origin and images that trigger trauma.
**In summary,** in this process, we should not contribute to the spread of polarizing and divisive news and expressions on social media, we should take care not to neglect our self-care (such as sleep, nutrition), and continue our daily routines so that we can help people directly affected by trauma. Finally, I would like to remind you that everyone is affected by trauma, but their reactions may differ. Therefore, avoiding unnecessary and pointless accusations, arguments and arguments, and focusing on our loved ones, responsibilities and how we can help those in need will be the most logical choice.
Creating moments where mind, soul and body are in alignment
The other day, at the end of my morning meditation practice, when I opened my eyes slightly, I saw a lot of dust particles floating in the air in the sunlight. From those momentary bits of dust, my journey towards myself flowed into timelessness. It was a wonderful reminiscence. I wanted to convey as much as I can what that moment reminded me of with you this week.
I looked to myself like those flying dust particles in the void. Vibrations that bring me into existence, like every dust particle spreading in different places and directions. If I gather those vibrations somewhere in the center, there is great force there. There is completeness, wholeness. There is to experience life with your whole existence, to truly live life, to truly exist in life.
If your mind and body are elsewhere, in the moment you are; If your mind, soul, and body are not exactly aligned at the moment, then we are just like those flying particles of dust. Dust particles that go to different places according to his head. If I can't gather myself in my center, that means I'm flying around. If I cannot gather myself in my center, it means that I have not experienced and felt life fully and properly at that moment. If I cannot gather myself in my center, it means that I cannot say that I am fully present at that moment.
Now I understand why it is so important to stay in the moment, to stay in the center, to be grounded, to be rooted! Now I understand what I've heard for years; in the dust particles that I opened my eyes.
How magical life is, how precious every moment is. A person who does not need advice is unthinkable.
But many do not realize that they need such a thing .
Life occupies a person with various occupations. There are such moments that he cannot count the events.
It goes by fast, you can't catch up.
Your environment is a crowd of friends and acquaintances.
You can't save yourself from being like someone who is stuck in the desert and has lost his way...
In such a situation, it is the most needed advice.
Think about it, there is no trace of light, light, light, in the pitch black of the night, someone is left with the hope of groping.
The person in this situation needs the pole star. Advice is a star that comes to the rescue here, born from the land of memories.
Is there a difference between a person who has lost his horizon in the desert and a helpless person who is caught in the storm of mischief and events and does not know where to go and whom to trust?
However, advice is an undervalued gem by most of our people.
It cures the diseases in the heart's house. From habits such as hatred, revenge, treason; It purifies them from temporary whims such as love of the world and love of fame.
We should help with advice through newspapers, books, magazines, conversations.
The things we want to reach you from these columns are in the sentence of advice.
The ancients were good at getting trouble, first of all, doctors wouldn't wear their doors to find a cure. They realize that the trouble is the way, they know that when the heart burns, they will return to the servant. They watch the beauty of turning yellow, sometimes on a beautifully painted tree leaf, or in the contented soup bowl of a poor person. It would be.
They say that the essential oil does not go bad. A person who is as holy as water is such a bad thing that it spoils quickly.
It seems that finding joy with the drops of the waves of in this sea of glory is like being warmed by the sparks of fire ships.
Especially when I think that those dust particles can be the vibrations of our intentions and dreams we desire… At the moment when I need it the most; those vibrations are sure to intersect and fuse in space!
Like this, seeing it from here made things much more understandable to me.
How beautiful here!
If it can touch your heart a little, I'm happy.
Nice to grow up together.
How can we be brave enough to be ourselves
What do you choose in your life?
Can you choose how to dress?
How will you laugh?
What job will you do?
Can you choose how to use your money?
When and how can you go out?
Can you choose what foods you can feed yourself with?
What days will you work and what days will you take a vacation?
Can you choose who to talk to and how?
Can you choose which photo to share on social media and what to write under it?
Who will you be and how will you act?
How will it be managed?
The world you want to live in?
Can you freely choose every state of existence?
The content of the food we eat, the quality of the water we drink, where the tax we pay goes, the decisions of the government we think we want about us, how we laugh in public, how we live our gender, what we wear, what we talk about, what we do, what we do, how we look, how we think, and how we express them are all our own. our choices. But we do not decide any of these articles with our free being.
We try to evolve into an image by getting stuck in the concept of “beautiful” determined by fashion.
We are trying to nourish our body with the foods that are offered to us, how it is not known how it grows.
We act in line with the decisions made by authority figures about us, we cannot intervene or make changes.
We strive to shape our personality within the framework of whatever is memorized and imposed, without questioning the rules of "culture" and/or "morality" again.
Instead of our real selves on social media, we show ourselves in formats that are close to the general taste and expectations.
We do not share our thoughts as they are.
This endless list goes on and on until we are absolutely convinced of how great a prisoner we are in the game we think we are free...
If freedom is our birthright, as it is… What is it possible to call freedom the “choice” we make among three options…
Freedom is the only thing that will lead us to our authentic self. We must experience and proclaim freedom in our minds and bodies so that our soul can dance its own dance on this earthly stage.
We are stuck in a mentality that does not love itself, constantly tries to correct itself, cannot make peace with its mind, constantly makes mistakes in the oscillations between right and wrong, destroys itself in pursuit of its motives, and has enslaved its existence to the wishes of the outside because it can never approve itself from the inside.
There is an exit from here! There is no life here!
Life begins when you say "mine". It starts when you pick up those approval hooks you've thrown out and take responsibility for your own life, your breath. It starts when you become the founder of the game.
What are you doing for yourself?
What do you do for the happiness of just saying "I"
What is yours only?
Are your choices for yourself or for acceptance?
Our dependence on the outside has deprived us of our inner paradise.
Now, should we leave the concepts of "morality", "society", "culture", "beautiful", "good" and "bad", which target our motives, and return to our own dreams, slowly and quickly? Can you suddenly realize that you are a warrior of an idea that does not belong to you? That you are the defender of a war you enter without thinking? Can you suddenly realize that what happened, that you gave your life for it, is not your decision?
What are you fighting for?
And so, in the middle of the battlefield, can you just drop your gun and retreat back to yourself?
Do you dare to live the life that is yours, just for yourself?
Can you act only for yourself and your own feelings and thoughts?
Can it be you, pure and pure?
Be you!
Be brave!
Get out of the endless war where you try to show your difference by doing the same as everyone else!
Be you
Be you so that there is nothing left to fight for. Be you, be ordinary and unique in your differences. At eye level with everyone and unique. Peace comes here. When you leave. When it comes to you.
Get out of other people's war places, quit mercenary. Return to your own garden, to your own land, to your body, mind, soul…
Make your choices for yourself. Do what you want to wear, how you laugh, how you love, how you want to do it. Just because you want it, because you are you.
Freedom starts with you. In you, it starts with a speck of everything you say. If you manage to be free, everyone will be free. The system of freedom becomes real.
Are you ready to leave your primitive weapons and return to yourself?
Because you have life in yourself!
Some little reminders to beautify Our Lives
Life takes a whole new turn when we realize that our very existence is already a miracle.
A person who is grateful for every aspect of himself discovers the power to create the reality of life.
A miracle, an event that amazes people and is considered supernatural.
Miracles will happen in one's life if one becomes fascinated with man, if he gets rid of the judgmental, labeling mind.
If a person admires nature, protects nature and respects its beauty, miracles will happen.
Miracles happen if a person is aware of the emotions that affect his life and takes steps to transform them into love.
*Another topic;* People are like gunpowder at home. He is not satisfied at all. They want everything to be perfect, to have their every wish fulfilled. They always take care of others. The world always looks to those who are superior to it in business. They are never grateful. They both praise themselves. They say I am this, I am like this.
Women are unhappy. That's exactly why. TVs are pumping up the luxury life. It's a fake world. The lives of artists interest them. The curiosity of comfort, the struggle to get the second without paying off the debt of one of the goods, the race for waste, the curiosity of luxury have turned our lives upside down.
There is no communication in the family. Everyone reads their own. Serials have come to sit in the middle of our daily lives. We are praying during the break. She makes coffee during the commercial break, but the lady or daughter of the house. They sleep until noon, if you let them, they will find the evening.
What else should I count? All expenses of the house are on the head of the house. The unemployed woman is in pursuit of pure pleasure. He doesn't care where the husband finds it and where he earns it, his credit cards are blown, not exploded, what does he think? Think of the donkey of the house. What business does he have to work, let him win; meet his endless desires. And on the day of Allah, she should sulk and expect to hear words of love from her husband in return.
This is how a whole day passes, sometimes weeks, sometimes months, sometimes years. Our life turns into such a great war. There is no peace in the family, we cannot enjoy our life or our worship. This lack of pleasure is stressful. That's when an unhappy type of person emerges.
And the man, of course, is trying to look for happiness outside. Can he find it? No! He thinks he has found it, lingering for a while. The nests are destroyed, new ones are built, the same mistakes are repeated there, the same results are reached. Sometimes the old nest is tried to be re-established, the old spouse becomes valuable. But again, that happiness cannot be found.
So where are we going wrong? Is this the mistake of seeking happiness? Are we getting wrong data in making sense of our lives? Are we starting with the wrong theorems? Are the parents coding wrong while preparing the child for marriage?
Are we a generation that was provoked by saying "I will see you, will you treat your wife like that" and that was designed wrong at first? Moreover, the child who grows up with domestic arguments does not have much difficulty in acquiring such a life for himself.
In addition, the individual who does not have the chance to see a good example in this field has to see the happy life table either in dreams or in dreams. And as a result, we become a nation that is unhappy in the family and unhappy in the society.
So, what can we do after seeing this painting? In my opinion, this job falls to the state, and the children who will get married should be taken to family education, even in schools where it is taught to be a good individual, a good child, a good family member.
Values education lessons should be given, the life of exemplary people should be modeled on the basis of religious values, not detached from religion as in the West, and efforts should be made to spread these values and to educate students equipped with these values.
If a person experiences the power of forgiveness, he experiences the miracles of my self-lightening.
If a person dedicates himself to doing what he loves, he builds his own miracle.
If people honor their ancestors, family roots, the whole family opens the door to miracles.
Miracles happen when a person pleases another's heart and gives it wholeheartedly.
If a person prays for the well-being, health and abundance of the person, he invites miracles into his life.
If a person can accept and say "What is beautiful", he will discover that miracles are endless.
There are many ways to live a miracle.
*Which is yours?*
***I wish you to go your own way and realize your miracles.***
Let's nurture that emotion with whatever we want to fill our lives with.
All seeds are in the heart of man. Joy, passion, understanding, jealousy, selfishness, ambition… It is what seed you water that determines which experience will fill your life.
Before you take action on any action, realize what seed it will water. And that can be a little misleading sometimes. You may realize that it is the seeds of selfishness that initiate the act of benevolence. You've taken action to help someone else, but that someone else doesn't really care. All he cares about is appearing "helpful". “What difference does it make after helping someone?” If you are asking, the answer is the contribution of this movement to life and your growth. That is, as the act of helping you engage with a bountiful bounty enlarges and transforms you; Selfish help will not have the same effect.
People learn by modeling.
If you've never had a heartfelt person in your life, you may not yet know exactly what that means. This is so natural. Just realizing that you can't "yet" changes everything! This starts a quest in your heart... You sow an intention to learn from the experience of giving from the heart... And this quest introduces you to guides who will teach you that. Little by little, day by day, you learn from them this very natural way of giving from the heart… You probably even judge it because you don’t “know” it at first… However, if you look to get to know it, familiarity develops gradually. And you begin to understand that you have never truly given from the heart before. As you honor this value, more people who can do it naturally begin to enter your life, and this once foreign state becomes familiar. You gradually begin to apply what you have learned in your own life. And one day you realize that giving from the heart has become your natural behavior. You transform. And as you transform, everything starts to look different. Now you don't get mad at anyone for being selfish. Selfishness doesn't trigger you. You just know. Maybe even a sweet smile settles in your heart when you see selfishness in someone else. And you'll be a little sad too. You remember how difficult life is for someone who has not yet learned to give from the heart. Not only do you notice it, and you approach it from the heart, perhaps with an abundance that you will see for the first time. And he may judge it at first, as you once did. And maybe this will be the first day he invites abundance into his life. This flow that starts with you grows like a snowball.
It takes the form of whatever the mind (and brain) spends time with.
Shape your mind with positive experiences. You enter the office by saying good morning, help a stranger just to support him, look at passers-by with smiling eyes on the street, ask the shopkeeper how he is today instead of shopping quickly, when he comes home in the evening, instead of listing the negative events that day, these events are positive. Try to tell by seeing it from the side.
I say try because you have to teach your mind to see the positive. Since the mind is created to solve problems, when it leaves it alone, it will constantly search for a problem to solve and perceive everything as a problem. Only an educated mind can learn to see positive. Start today, even if you have to crawl. Step by step, you will see your brain transform into its natural way of working. And please don't let this be one of the hundreds of personal development posts. Do not be read. The only way for an article to change your life is to take at least something from it and apply it instead of reading and passing these lines. If change is what you sincerely want, this article alone can start a new movement in you.
Of course, this is very different from the toxic positivity that has been talked about recently.
Everything toxic is born from negative seeds. Toxic positivity is an attempt not to see it when your truth is unhappiness. These two are very different things. You understand, don't you?
**Be aware of the intention behind your actions.**
You will see it when you approach yourself sincerely. Not afraid to see negative things, but when you look to see the truth... Don't be upset by what you see negative, it's in the nature of being human... We are all made up of positive and negative seeds, but it is what seed we water that determines what we cover our lives and the world with. Look at your life, what trees have you grown… How is your relationship with your friends, your lover, and yourself? If what you see doesn't make you happy, change the seeds you water. Take care of your seeds, realize that every step you take creates a change.
**Do you want to take a step towards a better life today?**
I had an idea. I prepared it to increase our awareness and contribute to our awakening. By participating in this training, you can take a strong step towards improving your physical and mental awareness through yoga, mindfulness, meditation and breathing. The program is designed entirely for beginners. You do not need to have done yoga or meditation before. We thrive together in a pleasant and safe environment. We get to know life aids closely and learn by experiencing how we can use them to improve our quality of life. I can share later.
If you want to improve your quality of life but do not know how to do it or if you need support and guidance on this path, this program is for you.
Emotions We Repress Show Up Physically
We all have the face we show to the outside world on the one hand, and our true identity as we know it, on the other. We may see ourselves as fun, happy, active, but the person we project around us may be a quiet, unhappy person or vice versa. The less the difference between us inside and what we see outside, the more balanced and peaceful life we will have. Because hiding ourselves is a tiring process that requires extra effort. Even if we are not aware of it.
I did not know yet that the eczema problem on my hands was intense and the time I started treatment would enable me to reach this awareness. Since it coincided with the beginning of the pandemic, it was a time when video calls were made intensively, both in business meetings and in family and friend communications. At that time, it was challenging me physically and emotionally because my hands were red and crusted, similar to a burn. If my hand somehow went to my face in video calls, I was careful to move so that my palm was visible on the camera instead of the top of my hand. My aim was not to see the other party, to focus on my hand while another subject was being discussed, and not to get distracted, and not to make people feel sorry for me.
When I realized that I needed to find a solution to this situation, I started talking with my hands on the advice of a dear friend! Yes, you heard right, or no, I'm not crazy yet. Thank goodness everything is fine… Joking aside, my purpose in talking to them was actually to accept them, not as a part of me to hide, but as parts of my body that tried to tell me something, that formed me. Because there were things that went wrong inside, and there was no way I could overlook it now.
How to talk to your body, the problem in your skin?
First, I would start by saying "**Welcome**" to them. My purpose in saying this was to explain to myself that they are temporary and guests. And I had some questions on my hands:
*-Why are you here?*
*–What did you come to guide me about?*
*–What am I supposed to understand here?*
*– If I change anything one day, I will understand your message?*
Every morning, I would ask them these questions, and after the questions, I would wait silently and listen to the answers that emerged within me. At first I didn't get an answer from them, but I continued to chat. They were obviously a little offended, they had something to tell me for many years and I hadn't heard them even though they tried many times. Before I could hear, they had to raise their voices. They weren't happy with this situation, but what could they do? They were trying to make me feel good. And they finally realized that I heard them and responded. When they realized my good intentions, their resentment eased and they started to talk.
It turns out that what they wanted to tell me for many years was that I was hiding myself. Even though they were a part of me, I had even hidden them on camera! Even though I tried to hide myself, look, somehow they were visible. They also needed to be seen, to find expression.
I Can Analyze Our Dreams: 3 Dreams 3 Interpretations
In the article I will share today, I will share how we can analyze and interpret dreams. While you are evaluating your own dreams, you can also question and analyze them and realize the paths shown to you.
We can start with our first dream. I share it as it was conveyed to me: “The other day in my dream, I was offering my own fermented yogurt to my family on a very nice, big table.”
First of all, I need to know if the owner of the dream likes yogurt or has any special feelings or behaviors related to yogurt. (I should definitely question the objects, foods, animals I see in my dreams. Do I have a special experience with them?) If there is, I should definitely focus on that experience and emotion. Otherwise, I'm looking at the properties of that yogurt. Yogurt is a dairy product and is obtained by fermenting, which is white in color and very useful. In other words, it actually means patience, effort, purity and reproduction. Then we can perceive it as a positive sign, as they are thinking in the mind of the person who sees the dream. It just draws attention to patience and effort. We understand that he will then share his reward with his loved ones, from the fact that he offers it to his family.
As for the second dream, “We are in our home with the man I broke up with in my dream but still love. The house is in a garden, it is green everywhere, it has two floors, even a veranda at the entrance. There are no other houses around. I am at peace. Then I go out onto the patio for the evening sunset. While enjoying the black red of the sky, there are ring-shaped openings in the dark clouds in the sky. Sunlight is filtering through those rings. Then the men, who look very healthy and strong, are lowered in a prone manner. However, in the meantime, bubbles emerge from the mouths of the men descending, and the movements that occur when a person jumps into the sea also occur while they are descending. At that moment, when I look at the sky, I realize that I am looking at the surface of the sea. I say, 'How can it be at that moment,' I was watching the sky, but the men were floating down the sea.' While they were breathing, bubbles came out, but I can breathe normally. 'Wow,' I say to myself, 'I can live underwater too.' By the way, I'm the only one who saw this event and I feel incredible excitement. I've been asked to see this special occasion for you, so I say enjoy it."
In this dream, the person whom the dreamer loves may be a symbol of strength and health in his life, we can deduce this from the words he uses when describing male figures descending from above. In fact, we can understand that the dreamer thinks that if the man he loves comes back into his life, he will feel strong and healthy. Watching from the veranda or balcony tells us how we perceive life with our perspective.
The fact that she finds herself gazing at the surface of the sea while looking at the sky speaks to her detailism and the possibility of thinking about details, especially in her relationship. On the other hand, the water coming out of the mouths of men (If you pay attention, it depicts it as a fish. Fish has an important place in Turkish mythology. It is considered as an animal form of thunder, especially in matters related to the flood and creation.) Therefore, we see data from the collective subconscious records. In this sense, fish is the symbol of abundance, fertility and peace in rebirth. The dreamer's inner self is aware of this and knows to enjoy it. To interpret the dream analysis in general, it is told that the dreamer should start again by going deep in order to feel healthy and strong.
As for our last dream… “Last night, I saw two big blue budgies. In my dream I say to myself, 'These can't be budgies, they're a little big. I asked the dreamer if he had budgies, he had budgies. But he describes what he saw in his dream in a slightly larger way. First of all, I can understand that there is something in his life that he wants bigger or more than what he has now. This is an item of monetary value, etc. It can be a spiritual feeling as well.
However, there is the number "2" in the dream. Numbers 0-7 are related to chakras. It is about the emotions that the chakras represent. Then I remember the emotions represented by the 2nd chakra. The sacral chakra is related to feelings such as “knowing who you are and what you are doing, being sure of the level of awareness of our bodily needs, producing, being creative”. It tells that the person who sees the dream feels inadequate in some material or spiritual areas and aims for better and more.
Our dreams are special to us. Like our fingerprints… Please, let's try to understand our dreams by questioning instead of automatic answers. If we question them, the flow of data and information will be greater. Let's not wait for a magic wand for our personal development. Our dreams are the sage within us. As you get the support of your dreams, you will progress easily and healthily.
See you in my next article, while I wish you dreams with lots of awareness.
Trauma Is Not Just Psychological, It's Physical
Many traumatized people describe their difficulties as follows:
“There is not a single thing that I am not afraid of. I am afraid to get out of bed in the morning. I am afraid to walk out of my house. I am very afraid of death… I am not afraid that I will die one day, but that I will die in a few minutes. I am afraid of anger… I am afraid of both my own anger and the anger of others; I fear it even when there is no anger. I am afraid of being rejected or abandoned. I am afraid of success and failure. I feel pain in my chest, I also feel tingling and numbness in my arms and legs every day. I have pain almost every day. Most of my life is truly spent in pain. I feel like I can't take it anymore. I have headaches. I am constantly angry. Shortness of breath, tachycardia, aimlessness and panic trouble me. I'm always cold and my mouth is dry. I'm having trouble swallowing. I have no energy and motivation, and I don't feel satisfied when I finish a job. I am depressed, confused, confused and always helpless and hopeless. I have outbursts of anger and depression that I cannot control.”
Traumatic experiences are unfortunately a fact of our lives. But that doesn't mean that trauma is a normal thing. Unfortunately, most – almost all – traumas are human-induced. Even a natural disaster such as an earthquake ceases to be a natural trauma due to human neglect. While all of this can lead to the natural result of trauma, anger, it's a relief to know that trauma doesn't have to be fate. Yes, trauma doesn't have to be our destiny. Of course, the surest way to resolve trauma is to ensure that the traumatic event never happened. However, since this is a very broad measure and we have experienced enough trauma, I will first try to explain how trauma works in order to understand trauma healing.
Traumatic experiences are experiences that we wish never happened. However, I can say that it is quite useful if converted. In order to heal trauma, it is first necessary to understand how trauma occurs. When we understand how it occurs and identify the mechanisms that prevent trauma from being resolved, we begin to grasp the ways in which the organism resorts to self-healing.
When we encounter a threat that is way beyond our coping capacity, such as trauma, both our mind and body give some reactions, so trauma is not only psychological but also physiological. These responses are actually responses common to reptiles and other mammals in nature. When faced with a major threat, reptiles and mammals respond in three main ways: fight, flight, or freeze. You may have heard of the fight or flight response from somewhere before, but there is a high probability that you have not heard of the freeze response. So, if we want to solve the mystery of human trauma, I would say that the only and most important response we need to understand is the freezing response.
The freeze response is the last resort for survival. At a moment when we come face to face with death, if there is nothing to do, our body takes over, which is why we say that trauma is physiological. When we are faced with a situation that we perceive as impossible to escape, or when we are faced with a threat that exceeds us, we give the common reaction as humans and animals, the immobility (freezing) response. The freeze response cannot be controlled at the conscious level. This involuntary response is decided by the most primitive and instinctive part of our brain. Our brain is not just a primitive brain. The human brain consists of three complementary parts: the reptilian brain, which is primitive and instinctive, the mammalian brain, which controls emotions and the limbic system, and the neocortex, the human brain that thinks logically.
If we react similarly to animals in nature when a life-threatening situation (trauma) is perceived, examining how animals in nature behave to escape trauma can give us an idea. For this, let's imagine that an antelope, which quickly escapes from a wild cat, pretends to be dead, that is, freezes. While the antelope's blood pressure and heart are racing, the reptilian brain takes over when it realizes that there is no place to run. With nowhere to run, the antelope's reptilian brain takes over and pretends to be dead, that is, it freezes. This gives time to antelope, which the wild cat thinks is dead. The antelope, which gains time, trembles and thaws from this freezing state and ceases to be a prey, it becomes a survivor. Here is the key to healing people's traumatic symptoms: It mimics the fluid adaptation movements of animals in nature to get rid of the trembling and freezing response and become active and functional again.
Traumatic symptoms are not actually caused by the event itself, but by energy that is frozen and thus cannot be thawed and discharged. This undischarged energy is almost trapped in the nervous system. Traumatic symptoms begin to emerge when the said state of freezing and inactivity cannot be recovered. The discharge of this trapped energy is necessary for the body to return to its former balance. We can also compare the freezing reaction to a car that suddenly brakes while driving at full speed. The inner speed of the nervous system is like a whirlwind in a body that suddenly stops working at such a speed and looks frozen from the outside. The person who has experienced the trauma has to release all the energy mobilized to deal with this threat, otherwise the trauma will catch on.
This trapped energy does not simply go away, but settles inside the body and manifests itself with various symptoms. These include anxiety, depression, addictions, psychosomatic or behavioral problems. The purpose of these symptoms is to keep this energy trapped in the nervous system. Because animals can instinctively discharge this trapped energy in nature, they are usually not traumatized. However, we humans are not as successful as they are in this regard. We show traumatic symptoms because we cannot release this trapped energy.
Trauma is actually more common than we think, but many of us don't even know it exists. Everyone experiences trauma. Even if we do not show post-traumatic stress disorder, we have had a traumatic experience at any point in our lives. We don't even notice the trauma, as he can keep himself hidden for years. If we want to understand trauma, we need to understand the primal energies that reside within our reptilian brain.
Maybe we are not reptiles, but we are not fully human until we have access to both our reptilian and mammalian heritage. The secret of being complete and whole as human beings is hidden in our ability to integrate with all the functions of our brain. To resolve trauma, we need to learn to move fluidly between instincts, emotions, and rational thoughts. When these three resources are in harmony, when there is communication between them in terms of emotion, feeling and cognitive, our organism functions as designed. For this, we can begin to understand and get to the root of our instinctive behavior by learning to identify and contact bodily sensations. When our instincts, emotions, and consciousness are united and organized, only then are we complete and whole.
**In summary**, for trauma healing, we need to connect with our instincts and emotions and be whole. If we do not have a clear connection with them, we cannot feel belonging to this world, to a family, or to anything. Losing belonging and connection drives us into the void of loneliness. This disconnection leads to competition, fighting, distrust of each other and belittling our respect for life. If we don't feel connected, it becomes easier for us to destroy and ignore things. In order to heal, it is necessary to go through the trauma, to shake off the state of freezing and immobility. What we need to get through the trauma is calmness, trust and warmth. Only in this way do we feel complete and whole, and finally attain peace. I hope what I wrote will be of some help in these days when we are experiencing all kinds of traumas.
Living Near Woodlands Promotes Better Mental Health in Children and Teens
In Japan, the term shinrin-yoku or "backwoods washing" arose during the 1980s as a physiological and mental exercise to take in the woodland environment as an eco-counteractant to tech-blast burnout. What's more, albeit the Japanese have accepted this type of ecotherapy, numerous societies have since a long time ago perceived the impact of the regular world on human wellbeing.
Examination has additionally shown that time spent in and around nature is beneficial for us. Time spent in or close to green spaces helpfully affects pressure chemical levels, pulse, mind waves, protein markers, and mortality. In 2015, a global group of scientists who overlaid wellbeing survey reactions from in excess of 31,000 Toronto inhabitants onto a guide of the city tracked down that those living on blocks with more trees showed a lift in heart and metabolic wellbeing identical to what one would insight from a $20,000 acquire in pay.
Presently an investigation distributed July nineteenth in Nature Sustainability depicts a connection between nearness to forests and better emotional wellness in kids and adolescents.
Scientists from University College London (UCL) and Imperial College London (ICL) utilized longitudinal information identifying with 3,568 youngsters and teens, matured nine to 15 years, from 31 schools across London. Satellite information was utilized to assist with computing subjects' day by day openness rate to various conditions inside 50m, 100m, 250m, and 500m of their homes and schools. Metropolitan conditions were isolated into green space (woods, knolls, and stops) and blue space (waterways, lakes, and sea), with green space additionally isolated into fields and forests.
The specialists took a gander at the connection between various kinds of regular metropolitan conditions and subjects' psychological turn of events, emotional well-being, and by and large prosperity. Subsequent to adapting to different factors, their outcomes showed that higher day by day openness to forests (yet not prairies) was related with higher scores for intellectual turn of events, and a 16% lower hazard of passionate and conduct issues two years after the fact.
A more modest yet comparative impact was noticed for green spaces by and large as for higher scores for psychological turn of events. Inquisitively, this impact was not noticed for blue space, however the analysts note that admittance to blue space among the subjects examined was for the most part low.
As per lead creator, Mikaël Maes, a PhD understudy related with both UCL and ICL, "Past investigations have uncovered positive relationship between openness to nature in metropolitan conditions, intellectual turn of events and psychological well-being. Why these medical advantages are gotten stays muddled, particularly in young people." Maes proceeded, "These discoveries add to our comprehension of indigenous habitat types as a significant defensive factor for a juvenile's intellectual turn of events and psychological well-being and recommend that few out of every odd climate type may contribute similarly to these medical advantages."
Educator Mireille Toledano, joint senior creator and head of the Mohn Center for Children's Health and Wellbeing at ICL, added, "It's basic for us to coax out why common habitats are so essential to our psychological wellness for the duration of the existence course — does the advantage get from the actual exercise we do in these conditions, from the social associations we frequently have in them, or from the fauna and verdure we will appreciate in these conditions or a mix of these?"
Another joint senior creator, Professor Kate Jones of the UCL Center for Biodiversity and Environment Research, offered one potential clarification for their discoveries, "[It] might be that general media openness through vegetation and creature wealth gives mental advantages, of which the two highlights are normal in higher bounty in forest. Despite the fact that our outcomes show that metropolitan forest is related with young adult's psychological turn of events and emotional well-being, the reason for this affiliation stays obscure."
Spaces of additional exploration may zero in on deciding if the absence of an impact for blue space was the aftereffect of examining mistake, just as tending to impediments of the examination that were noted by the scientists. For instance, the suspicion that living or going to class close to common habitats implies more openness to those conditions may not generally be the case contingent upon how available or useable these conditions are to a youngster or youngster. Besides, teenagers from burdened financial gatherings or who require extraordinary necessities may have been underrepresented.
For Beliefs That Block Us, The Savior Is Within Us
Those who guide you have a huge gun in their hands. Those who drag you into a war you don't belong to, even those who caused you to be born in the middle of that war, those who teach you to swing your sword to survive without even having a chance to question yourself, have a simple, invisible but very powerful weapon in their hands. The barrel of this gun is aimed at your freedom, shooting with every move.
Do you see?
The name of this weapon is faith!
What you believe without question.
Every pattern you believe without question is constantly killing you. Every moment, every thought, every dream.
You say "I can't do it" You say "I'm not good enough" You say "I'm invisible" You say "I'm late", you say "it passed me", you say "I can't leave". Who knows what else you say.
All your beliefs about yourself are holding you captive on the battlefield. You die there and resurrect there. That's why you're so tired. Of dying and being resurrected in the same war, reliving the same scene over and over again. You lose faith in yourself and give up.
***From your freedom… From the life that is yours…***
You hand it over to the hands of faith in a velvet cloth. You are sacrificing your beautiful unique heart to a "reality" that you don't even know what it serves.
That heart is now under the control of "faith". Not you!
You don't know what you want, how can you know if you don't have your heart?
You can't figure out whether it's yours or not, you don't know if it's your idea!
You are afraid! Because you also believed that the unknown is terrible!
Like you, all your friends are convinced, and no one makes a different sound.
Can you handle being unique? Can you bear the power of being unique?
Just you, “I wonder?” Can you take a step for what you said to the unknown? Can you just go after one question? Can you admit to making mistakes? Leaving the herd?
There is no one out there suppressing you! You have "beliefs" inside that keep you from coming out. Nobody is doing anything to you. No one is controlling you, you are a prisoner in pursuit of the heart you gave with your own hands.
Like a blind beggar, you are looking for the owner to whom you gave your heart!
You seek what you give your strength to!
You put your heart into the idea that when they told you what you should be, you said “Yes” without question.
Whatever they said to you, you put it in the mouths of those who constantly repeat their memorization.
That's why you've been out looking for the savior!
You have been waiting for the one who will love you, the one who will protect you, the one who will understand you, the one who will improve you from the outside.
You even forgot what you were waiting for, you just became the one waiting.
The passing of time, the improvement of everything, the coming of love, the passing of pain, the coming of inspiration.
Nobody will come! You will just get used to it, believe more and get used to it more. Nothing will get better as long as you wait.
Can you quit? Of all you believe? That they know right? Can you at least inquire?
Do you seriously need everything that's sold in the grocery store? Do you need a reason to be happy? Do you need a hand to stand up? Do you need a savior?
Can you just stand up calmly, shake off the dust and walk?
Without pity, without pity, without magnification, without humiliation, calmly.
Take your beliefs before you, look at them one by one. See what's holding your halter. See the wrongs you know right, the commitments that don't work. See the invisible threads that guide you. And just by seeing, reveal them! Reveal so that the next time they show up with a knowing smile on your face, you will not fall into the same trap...
Are you ready? What you call freedom is reality itself!
If there is a new world, that world begins in you. In your freedom, in your gaze. Those who will build this new world, those who will create it with their existence, are those who have spread the essence of freedom in their own minds and bodies! Their perfume is freedom!
What is the paradise of those who will celebrate their existence at every step but the dance of free spirits?
Are you ready to get rid of the bosses in your mind? Because heaven has opened its doors and is waiting for you!
Making fun of life and ourselves
Although everyone lives this life through their own truths and experiences, I think we all agree that there is only one opportunity to live this life. We can sometimes lose our joy in life in the pace of achieving the things we strive for and work for. However, the joy of life is precisely making fun of the setbacks and negativities that happen to us.
Not accepting what life brings is actually a momentary and futile rejection. Ultimately, we all have to face what happened to us and experience the negative consequences of those situations. For this reason, if we accept our flaws and wounds first, and even if we can humorously embrace them and make fun of ourselves, we will not allow our environment or circumstances to affect or upset us over these experiences.
We were about to approach the city. We learned this from the signs placed on the side of the road. Now we would be faced with a new settlement center. The place was flowing from our right to our left. We are now familiar with vegetation. There was not much change in the geographical structure either.
In time, we came across a cliff. When we saw the plains and wooded areas before, the rocks caught our attention. It was like it was built against a wall. It was obviously earthy, with vegetation on the top. It was rocky naturally. Its exterior looked polished enough to give it that slippery feel.
These groundbreaking cliffs caught my attention. Who knows, it has seen neither snow nor rain for centuries, nor how hard it has been a shelter from the wind blowing. But he was standing right. He stood there upright, despite all the plains, the trees, the various vegetation and the rare puddles. It protected the trees above it like a containment wall. Perhaps he was acting as a bulwark against a danger to them.
It didn't look like human-built walls at all. It would be unfair not to notice the "nobility" in its structure. Concrete did not have the coldness in him. It was as if he had a soul. So upright and dignified…
“Standing upright means something like this” crossed me as I was walking away from him. Obviously, he had such a duty in nature. It could, however, be torn apart by force. Is that what people do? They were falling apart without even seeing a sledgehammer blow. Such was the story that went through my head.
Again, leaving something behind us, our thoughts in our brains and our feelings in our hearts, we left that steep, solemn cliff. Let's get back to our main topic.
**Benefits of making fun of yourself**
1. Love yourself as you are. Try not to be disturbed by whatever is bothering you with your appearance, your situation. Complaining about your excess weight does not prevent you from making fun of them. The moment you manage to make fun of yourself, no one will be able to hit you in your weak stomach. Of course, size and dosage are also important.
2. If you can make fun of yourself, it means that you have a mature character that digests what you have and what you have. This makes you positive and happy despite the negativities you have or have experienced. Positive and happy people also affect their environment positively. Thanks to the positive energy you radiate, you will see that people are willing to support you instead of judging you based on your experiences. For this reason, being able to make fun of yourself opens many doors and causes you to spread positive energy around.
3. You are actually smarter than other people, even if those around you don't realize the intelligence underlying your cynical air. Combining your due diligence and observation with humor without internalizing it will make you smarter and more different from others. You started having fun with yourself first. This gives you the guarantee that you will not be bored in life, even if you are alone in life.
If you look at it from this point of view, you become free from the thoughts of others as much as you can make fun of yourself. The acceptance of our heart about our life starts at this point. It is the unbearable lightness of being.
Physical and Mental Fatigue is the new normal of the modern world
Do you feel that your energy is very low these days, that you cannot get enough pleasure from the things that used to bring you happiness and joy, that you cannot find motivation even to meet with your loved ones, that you have difficulty sleeping at night and waking up in the morning? Do you have moments when you feel tired and drained, both physically and mentally?
The year 2020, in which the difficulties never cease, has made our already tiring lives even more difficult. The new rules of the 'new normal' added to our lives, where we are constantly trying to reach somewhere, where we live with the dream of completing something and taking a sigh of relief, and where we make extra efforts to fulfill our accumulated responsibilities, financial difficulties, negative life events such as earthquakes suddenly weigh on our shoulders. doubled it.
The extra workload that comes with working from home, the information pollution we are exposed to through social media, the consumption frenzy that grows exponentially despite the difficulties that economic uncertainty creates in our quality of life and purchasing power, the unlimited options, the constant notifications pouring into our phones, the need to stay in touch with other people for fear of missing out on developments. Many reasons such as chronic fatigue, burnout, lack of energy can manifest itself.
We will share with you our suggestions on how to cope with the feeling of chronic fatigue, thanks to the many physical and mental factors that cause the feeling of fatigue throughout the week, as well as the changes you can make in your lifestyle and habits.
**What is fatigue?**
Fatigue, which is a very common symptom in the society, can be defined as feeling sluggish, low energy and mood, avoiding activity, reluctance and decreased performance. Although it is not defined as a separate disease or problem on its own, the feeling of fatigue can be a symptom of many diseases as a symptom. Although physical fatigue is the first thing that comes to mind when fatigue is mentioned, research shows that fatigue has mental symptoms and causes as well as physical.
Physical dimension of fatigue: Sleep quality, eating habits and inactivity
We know that one of the most important formulas of being energetic and not feeling tired during the day is the trio of adequate sleep, healthy eating and exercise. Getting the nutrients our body needs during the daytime, which is bright in accordance with our biological rhythm, maintaining habits that will contribute to our productivity, and ensuring energy storage and renewal by putting the metabolism into rest and relaxation mode during the dark hours in the evening and at night are among the most important requirements of not feeling tired.
Eating late at night, depriving the body of water by not drinking enough water, sleeping irregularly and insufficiently, not moving at all during the daytime hours when energy is high, following a pattern opposite to the biological rhythm that has been maintained since the day of humanity but deteriorated with the transition to modern life, the body tries to produce energy. Many habits, such as not getting the nutrients they need, can cause us to feel physically tired. You can find detailed information about the factors that cause physical fatigue and our suggestions for coping with physical fatigue in our articles that we will share in the coming days.
Mental dimension of fatigue: Stress, worry, fear and overthinking
The feeling of fatigue can manifest itself as mental as well as physical exhaustion. Behaviors such as thinking too much about any subject, problem, negative life experience or relationship, having indecision too often, trying to live fast, impatience; The thoughts and feelings that accompany these behaviors can make us feel tired.
Many stress factors such as the fear of earthquakes, the fear of epidemics, financial uncertainty, unconscious use of technology, added to the existential 'survival' anxiety that humanity has brought with it from the past to the present, with the transition to modern life, can make him feel more tired. Similarly, the fact that there are too many options today can cause our minds to experience decision-making fatigue. Mankind, who used to eat whatever he could find, now has to make an extra mental effort to fill his stomach, to choose one of the hundreds of options on the menu in order to eat. From the tiny needle we buy to the person we want to marry, we 'have to' make decisions in every moment of our lives. While making a decision alone is a cause of mental fatigue, our mental fatigue increases exponentially with the addition of stress, fear and anxiety. You can find detailed information about the factors that cause mental fatigue and our suggestions for dealing with mental fatigue in our articles that we will share in the coming days.
**Generation Y: The Tired Generation**
Many studies on chronic fatigue, which is one of the most talked about topics of the 21st century, define the "Generation Y", whose age ranges from 22 to 37, as the "Tired Generation". According to a report published by the American Psychological Association, today's adult individuals, the Y generation, are under much higher stress than any generation ever before. Many negative emotions such as anxiety and anxiety that come with increasing stress levels, and physical problems such as sleep disorders are the main reasons why we feel much more tired, exhausted and lacking energy both mentally and physically.
The physical and mental fatigue caused by the increasing stress can cause us to be unable to focus on our responsibilities, not be able to find the motivation to finish the tasks we need to complete, to increase the number of tasks on our to-do list, and thus to be trapped in a never-ending cycle of stress-fatigue.
Not being able to meet the expectations of the age, excessive and unconscious use of technology that is relatively new in human history, fast and hasty culture, and most importantly, not knowing how to deal with stress, which is one of the most important causes of fatigue today, can make us feel more tired.
**1. Both a physical and mental burden: Unconscious use of technology and social media**
Researches point out the unconscious use of technology as one of the most important causes of fatigue, burnout and lack of energy today. Notifications raining down on our phones every minute, e-mails falling one after the other in our inbox, our lives indexed to social media, the fact that we have to do almost all of our work on the computer make a life without technology almost impossible.
A scientific study investigating the life habits of the new world on the axis of technology has revealed that 8 out of 10 people today go to bed with their smart phones and spend a long time on social media, share photos, text messages, make phone calls, clean their e-mails or read news before they sleep is showing. So, although we actually went to bed to sleep, our minds are not asleep, but on the phone.
Exposure to artificial light emitted by the screen before going to sleep creates physiological responses in the body to be awake, making it difficult to go to sleep. All natural or artificial light sources send signals to the brain to be awake and alert. Artificial light sources such as tablets, smartphones, computer screens and televisions can also make it difficult to go to sleep by giving the message that the body should stay awake, just like daylight. When our body has difficulty sleeping, it spends the rest period it needs to rest and renew itself. This can make you feel tired both physically and mentally. For this reason, for a quality and regular sleep cycle, you need to get away from all your devices that are artificial light sources at least 2-3 hours before going to sleep. Circadian rhythm and sleep relationship: Listen to your biological clock for a quality and healthy sleep. You can find detailed information on this subject in our article.
In addition to all these physiological effects, excessive and unconscious use of technology can negatively affect our psychological state and cause us to feel tired. The negative news we are exposed to, the problems in the country, seeing other people in the world face negative situations such as discrimination, marginalization, and injustice causes us to think constantly, try to control the emotions created by our thoughts, make extra efforts to continue our life in the normal course, thus making us feel much more tired. and it can make us feel exhausted.
**2. Anxiety about not catching up: The hasty mentality and the culture of being fast**
It is an inevitable fact that we spend most of our lives at work and we organize our habits according to our working order, due to the mentality of 'the one who works the most', which is one of the most prominent features of today's business life.
One of the most important reasons for our mental fatigue is the conflict between our expectation that we can change the world when we use our potential at the highest level, and the reality of life, which is the opposite of this expectation. Situations where we start with a high belief and motivation that we can do it, consume our energy to the last drop, but face the fact that our expectations are unrealistic, are among the reasons that increase the feeling of burnout. In addition to our unrealistic expectations, our impatientness and our desire to finish our work quickly can cause us not to achieve the results we expect.
Unfortunately, it is not possible to relax and fall asleep, to live in accordance with the circadian rhythm, to sleep adequately and in a balanced way, in a scenario where we sit in front of the computer the moment we return home from work, and we are busy with our e-mails day and night in order to stay in touch with our colleagues while working from home, and we are busy with the tasks we need to complete. Although the idea of completing some of our work while lying down may sound like an attractive idea, the mental connection we inadvertently establish between work and bed can make it much more difficult to fall asleep over time. Our sleep, which we compromise in order to be faster, to finish our work faster, to be the best, returns to us as a lower energy and fatigue.
**3. Poor coping skills**
Since one of the most important causes of fatigue and burnout is intense stress, not knowing effective and healthy ways to cope with stress brings with it the feeling of more fatigue and burnout. Developing addiction to substances such as alcohol and cigarettes that help the person to relax in a short time to cope with intense stress, trying to suppress his fatigue with caffeine, developing an unhealthy and unbalanced diet, watching too many TV series and movies or spending time in front of the screen to distract his mind. It can cause low energy and fatigue because it is closely related.
Fast foods that we rush to snack on to increase our energy and mood, foods with high carbohydrates and fiber, and junk food with no nutritional value can cause our blood sugar to become unbalanced and make us feel more tired. In addition to fluctuations in our blood sugar, the inability to take vitamins and minerals, which are extremely important for metabolic activities, into the body due to poor eating habits can disrupt metabolic activities and cause us to feel tired.
The habits brought by modern life, high stress level, overthinking, a lifestyle that is not suitable for biological rhythm, unhealthy meals that are eaten fast, especially all our habits that affect our sleep quality are the main reasons why we feel tired and lack of energy. In our articles that we will share with you throughout the week, we will examine the causes of fatigue in its physical and mental dimensions, and include suggestions on how to deal with the feeling of chronic fatigue, burnout and low energy. Stay tuned!
Reducing Trauma with the Law of Attraction Techniques
Today, I wish to show how the control of memory through psychological rethinking strategies, advanced so intensely in the law of fascination and positive brain science, are being utilized to treat individuals with post-awful pressure issue or PTSD.
**Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder**
As you're mindful PTSD is set off by a very emotional event(s) in one's life. We realize how normal it is among veterans and specialists on call, for example. It tends to be completely weakening! Victims are defenseless against rehashed flashbacks and bad dreams. They might be inclined to sleep deprivation and much of the time foster dietary problems, among endless different side effects.
In cutting edge stages it tends to be ruinous for one's actual wellbeing being continually tossed once again into unpleasant times of frenzy. It decreases casualties to an overall condition of seclusion from the world, which despairingly adds to all way of other relational relationship issues.
Adversaries of LOA, and surprisingly sure brain science, will regularly charge that it is absurd and will in general fault casualties for the injury they've encountered – most occasions through no issue of their own.
What's more, that is valid! I've stood up more than once on Medium and my YouTube channel against something like that and how harming casualty accusing is. It really debases the more extensive objectives of those in these self-advancement networks; since let's be honest, we advance it trusting it will eventually hoist mankind. Thus, obviously, we should be cautious that our genuine endeavors don't informally and obtusely fault subjects of real mental breakdown.
Remembering what I spread out in that memory article referenced at the beginning – which is truly worth a read should you discover this stuff captivating – only momentarily, here is what's going on neurologically.
**What memory resembles in the mind**
The entirety of our faculties and developments — basically, all that situates us in actuality — occur through an electrochemical interaction in the body. Your tactile neurons get signals that are imparted by means of your spine and the focal sensory system. Engine neurons send electrical driving forces to different receptors which permit you to move and see the world.
These two sort of neurons converse with one another over interneurons which set up a two way framework. How these messages are conveyed is an electrical motivation ventures out through your neurons to a neurotransmitter which interface one neuron to the following. The electrical movement animates the main neuron to deliver synapses (chemicals) — normally, on account of tactile responses that substance is an excitatory one called glutamate — passed on to receptors on the subsequent neuron, which then, at that point carry on their cheerful method to finish the circuit or transmission.
Presently, over a cycle of neurogenesis and long haul potentiation — which I will not detail in this piece — these structure memory follows in your hippocampus and neocortex all the while. The hippocampus can't hold a lot of data, so reactivated neurons (the recollections you've made) are adaptable, which cause them to be powerless against control and confabulation.
Up until now, this is all exceptionally typical. That is the manner by which memory works. However, here is the thing that occurs in PTSD. Amy Milton, cited in Overloaded clarifies,
"The hippocampus is exceptionally delicate and practically closes down under extremely significant degrees of stress. Yet, the amygdala in the event that anything slopes up its preparing. So when someone has experienced a horrible accident, a specific arrangement of inclining factors will decide if you influence the situation for the amygdala over the hippocampus. Furthermore, if that happens you end up with this dread memory that doesn't actually have that time and date and setting and space data that the hippocampus would regularly give. It's a dread memory that turns out to be exceptionally summed up and applies all over the place. So in any event, when the patient is in a protected circumstance, these recollections return. Clinicians talk about working with patients who acknowledge it will be something truly harmless like a red post box that triggers flashbacks of their terrible fender bender on the grounds that the vehicle that hit them was red."
Here is the place where current mental medicines — cures like intellectual social treatment, openness treatment, psychological remediation, psychological variation preparing and other mental restorations — directed related to state of the art pharmacology are showing uncommon outcomes. We should take a gander at the two perspectives briefly:
**1. Mental Behavioral Therapies**
Practices embraced by advocates of the law of fascination are predictable – albeit not officially supported restoratively – with present day psychiatry.
Cures like the ones referenced — particularly openness treatment on account of PTSD — utilize those LOA rehearses so enthusiastically suggested like: perception, prearranging/journalling (that is, recording and discrediting your uncertainties or self-questions), contextualizing your agonizing recollections through logotherapy, and numerous different things I've gone through hours breaking down on my YouTube channel.
The shape that openness treatment takes in treating PTSD, for example, includes having patients review their dread recollections in a safe clinical circumstance so new recollections can abrogate old horrible ones. Hitherto, this has been the best treatment for survivors of PTSD.
The issue is — and I am reproachful of LOA and surprisingly the mental calling for this — it's just fruitful in 50% of individuals! The drop-out rates are upsetting as well. Here is the place where we ought to be receptive to how drug mediation is showing guarantee; which drives me to the subsequent point.
Gracious, and this can be utilized with mental medicines, incidentally. I'm urged to see these rehabilitative practices foster increasingly more over the long haul.
**2. Propranolol**
Propranolol shed psychotherapy can reconsolidate once horrendous recollections with less of an enthusiastic charge.
Propranolol can be directed in the reconsolidating of these once awful recollections. Once more, I will cite Amy Milton from Ginny Smith's book. She clarifies,
"The thought is that you can really get the memory back into this state where it tends to be temperamental, and afterward either present new meddling data and basically annihilate that memory or give drugs. In an enthusiastic learning circumstance, adrenalin is high, which works with the glutamate-based pathways that permit the memory to merge. So on the off chance that you designated that framework and kept it from working, you could possibly debilitate that enthusiastic memory."
Propranolol can be given to hinder one of the adrenaline receptors. Furthermore, by achieving this the memory may reconsolidate with less of an enthusiastic charge.
Supposedly, there have been some beautiful effective tests directed on guinea pigs. I will not intricate to an extreme. They essentially utilize an interaction to stun and damage them soon after sounding a specific tone. Then, at that point the Bens are placed into an alternate pen, and are not stunned after the tone. This makes something of a forecast blunder making the dread memory destabilize.
They've likewise utilized a comparative strategy on understudies by utilizing Propranolol, and the outcomes were striking. This is all in beginning phases of exploration, however, so openness treatment and the utilization of every one of those LOA practices should accomplish for the time being – not to limit how thankful some have been toward such strategies.
**In Sum**
It's interesting, I actually can't get over how individuals like to ruin the law of fascination dependent on that film and book called The Secret by Rhonda Byrne; and for actuarial purposes, The Secret was a misrepresentation.
The more I read the writing in brain research and neuroscience, I'm amazed by how a portion of our best treatments yet are rehearses no other gathering have advocated more than the LOA people group.
Mention to me what you think about this load of stuff beneath in the reactions. Have you utilized intellectual rethinking strategies to decrease the seriousness of injuries from before? I'd love to hear from you.
Directing our self-compassion towards ourselves
Since I started by loving myself, I actually wanted to continue my writings here a little more. With self-kindness.
There is so much pain in life. We had an earthquake. On the other hand, there is Covid. I lost my dear friend and teacher this week, he was sent off on his eternal journey. So many babies and families struggling with SMA. The pains are endless. Ignoring and ignoring them is also a defense mechanism for some of us. I have nothing to say to them. Every system is naturally responsible for protecting itself. Only the burden of life is on one's shoulders, whether he ignores it or not, it appears in front of him from everywhere.
I am sure that at some point in your life you have felt helpless in the middle of a completely different story. Or insufficient. In sadness and grief. Or, on an ordinary day with daily chores, the atmosphere inside a meeting room has dragged you into silence with the thought "What if I'm disgraced". There was a moment when you were discouraged. There have been tears that you cried out loud or that you wanted to cry, but that you kept inside and suppressed so as not to look weak. The thought of “what do they say” has captured your emotion for a moment to live to the fullest. When you say "I allow myself" and go out to breathe for 1 hour, you may have come back quickly with a feeling of guilt because you left your child alone. It may be that you put in a lot of effort and didn't get what you deserve. While sharing your photos with your friends on social media at the height of fun, while actually trying to relieve your tiredness from the pressure at work, you may not be having fun at all, contrary to what is seen and shared.
Since I am a coach, I am a guest of many stories. The iceberg is loaded with loads. Your suffering is not unique to you. Many people experience all these emotions. Maybe those who spend time and money for therapy or support lighten their load a little more. But what I will say is this; Everyone has loads, they have fatigue.
There is also a judge among us, attacking with labels from here and there. “You are stupid”, “incompetent”, “coward”, “they always cheat on you”, “you won't, you won't.” That judge makes himself count the most severe criticisms that he has not told anyone, from the inside, and from the outside if there is no one. When a person hurts his loved ones easily, he puts the most hurtful nails on himself, as if he will forgive himself the easiest.
Maybe what I am saying is close to some of you and far from others. Maybe you didn't really notice that ruthless critic in you. Maybe you still prefer to play the strong, ignoring the voices saying helpless, victim, loser, lazy, fat, ugly.
I say to you, to those who hear those harsh voices of criticism, weak or strong.
Notice those voices and try to see the message he wants to tell you.
Notice, say I hear you.
Say I know you're trying to protect me or strengthen me.
Or whatever he is telling you, say it to yourself, say I understand you.
And offer yourself the highest level of compassion you can offer.
I'm asking you now. What is compassion, what do you think about compassion? I've heard people say: An interest, an approach between pity and protection. In terms of self-compassion, don't pamper yourself, exalt yourself, don't see yourself as a high value.
Even a coffee cup and shopping package with the hashtag #canımkendi. Beyond all this, I'm talking about a very deep approach.
There are many discourses on the definition of compassion, yes. From an awareness and healing perspective, compassion means being sensitive to one's own pain and the pain of others, being aware of it, and taking action to relieve that pain.
Who are you around that you show compassion to? Your child, your mother, your cat, your dog, or perhaps a family member. It is possible to show yourself the same compassion you show others, and even become your own best friend. It's not a friend who says "Don't be afraid", but "I see you're scared, I see your pain, how can I help you?" I'm talking about a friend who says.
And know that there may not be anyone in the world who is experiencing what you are experiencing right now, but there are so many people who share feelings with you!
Self-compassion includes recognizing inner voices, recognizing your emotions and feelings in the body, seeing your pain, accepting and wanting to help yourself, liberating yourself from cruel criticism, loving yourself, and the courage to use your resources. It involves embracing the things that lighten your heart. Reading, walking, looking at green, trees, flowers, plants, living things that find joy in life, babies, children, kittens.
See, the innocence in the dog's eyes.
Maybe just sit down and practice mindfulness with calm music. For self-compassion, it's best to offer yourself love and compassion in the moment. Let's do it together.
Sit up straight and comfortable first, close your eyes,
Put your hand on your heart.
Watch your breath, scan your body with all your attention, give thanks, calmly, with gratitude, with compassion, with good intentions.
Listen with your heart, say to your body, “I am with you with all my heart, I see you suffer, it will pass and I am with you with all my heart”.
Say, “I am safe, I am pouring all the compassion from myself into myself, I am safe”.
Project your feelings of compassion and trust to your whole body with your breath.
I wish you to reflect your self-compassion to yourself whenever you need it.
Journey to Living the Life We Desire
Everyone makes mistakes!
Sometimes I have a brave side. I blacked out and entered a tender for the first time in my life. Tender environment; some excitement, some competition, some curiosity, some indescribable emotions and feelings. All in all, every experience teaches one.
My intention is good. According to myself.
Between the fast passing minutes, the tender was suddenly left to me. I enjoyed it, of course. I said that because my intentions are good, I also have a dream. She's beautiful too, common to my intention.
Aren't we the same in life? We dream, we intend, we do our part, then we surrender to what is. Even if we resist, we eventually accept what is or is not for us.
In an environment where economic uncertainty does not end and communication is sometimes inextricably difficult, there are some questions we need to ask ourselves from time to time in order to continue without contradicting our values in life and without losing our search for meaning. I have attached my questions below, which I find useful and work on frequently: You are free to be inspired, change according to yourself, and reproduce.
**Where am I in the life I desire?**
What did we want? How has life drawn trees for us? To what extent does the environment we live in serve our expectations and satisfaction points? This wood-hard question that I came across at a presentation recently and paid attention to was like tasting a piece of salt spirit for me. With a bird's-eye view, we can eventually avoid facing the same problems and look for ways to reposition ourselves in life.
**What is my personal mission in life? What can I do to serve this mission in the medium and long term?**
Medical research says that those who have a life purpose get sick less often. Remember the words of Mark Twain: “The two most important days in life are the day you are born and you understand why you were born”. Goals can act as a compass that guides through complex moments and environments. Only when we have a purpose can we fight hard against difficulties, otherwise it is inevitable. It's helpful to ponder over the fifth item here while you're thinking about what your purpose is, I've tried. There is also a fun book called “Purpose, Meaning and Passion” in the Emotional Intelligence series of Harvard Business Review Press, those who are curious can check it out.
**What do I have? How can I convert them and make them fit my plans?**
It can be difficult to make baklava if you don't have flour on hand, but that doesn't mean you won't eat dessert, you can make something with milk. Author Andy Molinsky mentions that a personal hobby, a personal project unrelated to your profession, small innovative initiatives can provide an opportunity to evaluate your competencies. Good idea.
**How much am I trying? Am I daring enough?**
We may be imagining that another life is possible, but we may be putting this lofty dream aside and returning to the darkness we complain about every day. However, we can't take a step forward without making small attempts, sometimes stumbling, and we can't go beyond managing with the roles that others have assigned to us.
**What excites me? Who do I envy for what he does or has?**
While we often find jealousy to be harmful and malicious, this is not entirely true. This strong feeling of envy can be very revealing of our deep, true desires. Did your heart ache when you heard that your friend got promoted or won? You can review how satisfied you are with the money you receive and the source alternatives. Does someone else's new family or relationship make you feel awful? Your tight-knit loneliness and your "I'm fine like this" attitude can be a manifestation of a huge suppression effort. You may have a stronger desire for a secure relationship or order than you can imagine. This question is also one of the questions of philosophical meditation, which is an interesting technique, and I think the most important.
Seeking Types of Happiness with Eudaimonia
Now I want to take you to a day under a deep blue sky, accompanied by the chirping of birds, and filled with the colorful, fresh scent of spring. The sea sparkles from place to place with the reflections of the sun. People are walking on the street, some are riding bicycles, some are laughing among themselves. Maybe you stop and find peace by seeing someone who loves stray animals, you look at the young person who picks up the small garbage from the ground and throws it in the trash can and you say “Well done”, the childish games of the dogs cheer you up. The lovers smiling hand in hand warms your heart and you think, "What a beautiful thing to live". Especially if you have someone(s) you love next to you, if you can smile and enjoy the moment together, is anyone luckier than you? You are grateful for what you have.
Yes, feeling positive, being satisfied with life, is sometimes that easy when we focus on the moment, isn't it? Well, when it is so easy to feel positive, what do we focus on most of the time instead of seeing the beauty around? Or what does the definition I call “imposed happiness” focus us on?
Today I want to talk to you about the difference between Hedonic Happiness and Eudaimonic Happiness. Thanks to the difference between these two, so you can see why sometimes feeling good is actually easy when it's hard for us.
Now think about your life, take a look at the definitions and conditions of happiness given to you from anywhere, directly or indirectly, by newspapers, magazines, TV, social media, perhaps by your surroundings; “The more you have, the more successful you are, the better you can position yourself from others, the more competitive advantage you have, the happier you will be,” many whisper. Selfies that you try to look beautiful, things you do to be better than your colleague or rival, “This phone/home/car/man/woman should be mine”… “Are you crazy? With so many well-paying jobs, is it wise to quit and say, 'I'll do what I want'?" sentences such as "Happiness is to have a branded car" advertising mottos, "It doesn't matter if he passes you in this exam, you are the most successful, the best" stuffing.. These and similar patterns that are thought to lead to happiness are actually materialist and narcissistic individuals in society. leading to an increase in the number of So what happens as a result of this?
Materialistic and narcissistic people have weak empathy skills and cannot form strong bonds. This increases the number of individuals who are isolated in society. Especially in western society, the rates of loneliness have increased considerably. Loneliness; depression, immune system disorders, sleep problems, and psychological disturbances. The age of depression has dropped from 29 50 years ago to 14 today. One stops and thinks, does this definition of happiness based on consumption, which is all around us and given from all sides, really makes us happy?
**Hedonic happiness**
This imposed happiness actually falls under the definition of hedonic happiness. Hedonism, which comes from the root of Hedon, means indulgence and pleasure. In the definition of Hedonic Happiness, the goal is continuous pleasure. Here, there is an effort to maximize pleasure and avoid pain in every environment. Most importantly, there is no search for meaning.
Today, the definition of hedonic happiness is placed in people's minds as the definition of true happiness. More earnings, more possessions, more lovers, more pleasure, more pleasure, more elevation. Although some of these are factors that can really bring happiness, the lack of meaning causes the equation to break.
When we see happiness as the constant pursuit of pleasure or the constant satisfaction of needs, when we meet these needs, we find ourselves in a constant "chasing" obligation. Moreover, our judgments about what will make us happy or sad are very weak (see impact bias). Therefore, something that happens to us that we think will make us happy or unhappy forever has a very short effect, or we adapt very quickly to the situation and return to our set point, that is, our general happiness levels. This state of adaptation is called “hedonic adaptation”. Since we adapt faster than we expected, we start chasing a new stimulus that we think will make us happy. It becomes a cycle and this is called the "hedonic wheel". Once we get caught up in the hedonic wheel, we actually enter a cycle similar to addictive behavior.
**Hedonic wheel cycle**
“My phone is useless. (Bought 6 months ago.) That newly released model is incredibly good, it takes great pictures, it has a self-extending selfie stick, and everyone is using it now. I don't have one! If I get it, I will be incredibly happy.” After the day he bought it: “I am incredibly happy, I go to bed with my phone, I wake up with my phone. I uploaded all my favorite songs, shot videos in fast mode, got a great container a month, and I'm not happy (hours of reviewing phone features etc.)“. 6 months later: “My phone is very old, the new one has amazing features again, they say they even make lattes -!-, mine can't make unfiltered coffee yet. And that makes me unhappy. I will be very happy if I get a new one.” Hedonic happiness creates dissatisfied individuals who pursue “happiness” but cannot be “happy” because of wrong definitions. However, happiness is not measured only by the things that happen to us or by the feeling of instant satisfaction. Happiness is a form of consciousness.
**Eudaimonic happiness**
Centuries ago, when science had almost none of the opportunities available today, Aristotle gave the closest definition to scientific happiness: “Eudaimonia is neither a state of mind expressed by momentary pleasures and moods, neither luck nor gift. Happiness expresses a general state of being.” Eudaimonia, or "the sprout of man," is a divine, blessed, and precious thing that can be learned by all through virtuous living and education. Man's perfection is not given to him, man creates it himself. The growth of man is entirely dependent on himself.
The term Eudaimonia means "the flourishing of man". Man lives with a subconscious being called daimon, which has semi-divine and human features. Eudaimonia, or happiness, arises when the Daimon is guided to the good, tamed by habits. According to Aristotle, being good or happiness is a goal that can be achieved through activities in accordance with virtue.
Virtue is to avoid excesses and deficiencies, to always seek the middle and to prefer it. Virtue, then, is a habit of choices. (Ethics to Nicomachus, 1106a-1106b) Man should see every action as a means to reach his ultimate goal, happiness, and choose actions that will enable him to achieve happiness. These actions, too, must always be directed towards what is far from excesses or deficiencies. (Ross, 2002: 251-258)
In eudaimonic happiness, it is mentioned about a meaning and value-oriented life style that is at peace with the past, himself and his environment, and aims to be compassionate and helpful. In this definition of happiness, there is an understanding of happiness based on meaningful goals and values, it requires good measure and fairness. It is a public happiness, not independent of others.
**What does science say?**
Today, science shows us that our biological makeup is built for the benefit of others as well as ourselves. Evolutionarily, the reason for our development is that we are social beings. We are beings whose brain's reward centers are activated when we connect. Empathy, compassion, kindness, helping have effects such as creating positive emotions and transforming health in a good way.
As Aristotle said, happiness is a state of being that can be learned and added to our lives through repetitive exercises and habits. Even with just 7 minutes of gratitude exercises a day, we can increase the level of happiness in a very short time. Happiness is a choice, the impact of life conditions on happiness is 10%, we can affect happiness 90% with chosen thoughts, behaviors and focus. In short, Aristotle is right! As claimed, materialism or money does not bring happiness under all circumstances. According to a study conducted in the USA, although wealth doubled between 1957 and 1995, there was no increase in happiness levels. Although people live in larger houses, drive better cars, and have better financial conditions, their happiness rates do not increase. The extra money has no visible contribution to the happiness levels of individuals who can meet their basic needs and feel safe.
Narcissism and materialism in the imposed definition of happiness lead us to loneliness, unhappiness and adverse health conditions. However, happy people are more successful, more social, healthier and more productive. Research conducted in 37 different countries shows that the most important feature that individuals look for in their partners is "to be a good person".
**Result**
Looking at these data, we can see that although the hedonic happiness lifestyle devoid of meaning causes instant increases in pleasures and positive emotion levels, it does not actually lead to a general state of happiness due to its potential to lead to addiction-like behaviors and loneliness as a result of hedonic adaptation. On the other hand, Eudaimonic happiness; It can be said that it both supports our biological structure and overlaps with scientific facts, with its emphasis on realizing human potential, existing with other people and living on the basis of values & virtue.
The meaning to be removed from the eudaimonic definition of happiness; Of course, it is not to live completely devoid of pleasures and pleasures, not to value oneself or to retreat into seclusion. The secret is to balance. Giving up self-worth for the sake of helping others, refusing all physical needs for the sake of being a good person, disregarding money and disconnecting from reality does not bring happiness either. As in Aristotle's definition of virtuous life, it is important to live them all in balance. Instead of emphasizing "I" or "others", highlighting virtues, basic human values, and actions that produce results that you would prefer to do under all circumstances. Being aware of the means and ends, not turning the means into an end. Perhaps the most important thing is to turn knowledge into wisdom and internalize it by adding it to your life and experiencing it.
When I Changed My Perspective, A Huge Playground Opened Before You
**Dostoevsky**'s famous novel **Crime and Punishment** probably has a special place in the minds of even those who have not read it. In fact, these two concepts have ceased to be the title of a work and have turned into a duo that is difficult to separate from each other. One closely follows the other: "If there is a crime, it will immediately find the punishment, will find it or should find it" creates a perception. I don't think many people who have these two concepts in mind think that the origin can be related to a literary work. I think this is one of the assumptions or assumptions of uncertain origin. The famous author may have chosen an already existing perception as a name or this perception may have settled after the title of a highly famous novel.
There are such inseparable pairs in our language: Pot – lid, chicken – egg, methane – ebb. The existence of one often reminds or complements the other, and finds its function. You can find better examples. However, just as in the examples I gave, in the other examples we will derive, some pairs show an inevitable coexistence, while in others, although the concepts can exist separately, we are more inclined to use them together.
Well, in which category is the concept of crime and punishment in this respect for you? Are they naturally co-existing, or can they be separated and one does not necessarily necessitate the existence of the other?
**– Do you think that every crime has a punishment?**
**– Do you think every crime must be punished?**
**– How is the relationship between punishment and crime fair?**
**– If there is a penalty, is there an appropriate crime?**
I'm saving the subject from the image of a law lecture right away. Let me also state that the term "crime", which I use later in the article, does not mean an unlawful offense. In the past weeks, during our interview with a follower who reached out to me on social media about doing homework for a course, we talked about factors such as making mistakes, taking notes, and the possible attitude of a teacher who did not have the opportunity to meet closely. That's why I decided to tackle a topic that has been on my mind for a while. Thank you for inspiring this article.
One of the reasons I frequently bring up our approach to mistakes is to witness the great impact of attitudes and behaviors in this area on exiting the comfort zone, learning and development. These are sometimes seen as corporate culture and everyone knows, for example, to what extent mistakes will be tolerated in a particular company, and what the consequences might be, as if it were a written rule. This has a huge impact on the overall organizational development of that organization, from risk-taking style to innovation and even employee engagement.
As an individual, our approach to mistakes and those who make mistakes is one of the important determinants of our lives. An integral part of it is how we take a stand in the face of our own mistakes. Most of us have dreams. Some of us have turned some of these into targets. In order to achieve these goals, it is necessary to leave the much-mentioned “comfort zone” and take risks. Big and small mistakes can come along with the risk. What is more important than the size/smallness of these mistakes is what attitude to take in response. Because that's what brings progress or stagnation.
Is there a difference between the concept of error and the concept of crime for you?
Our attitudes are shaped according to the meanings we attribute to the concepts. According to the Turkish dictionary, crime; It means an act contrary to customs, moral rules, or a crime, that is, an act against the law. The definition of error is wrong, involuntary and unintentional wrong, fault, mistake and mistake. There is a third meaning; it is crime, fault, sin. When we look at these definitions, it is understood that while the concept of crime has a situation that is more unacceptable and subject to sanctions, it is understood that error is a relatively mild state of wrongdoing. However, we also see that it is used in the sense of "crime". Although dictionaries show the meanings of the words in the language of the society, the meanings we personally attribute to the words are also very important. Because our language affects our thoughts and our thoughts affect our behavior.
Could it be that fear of making a mistake or perceiving the mistake as a bigger problem than it really is, and sometimes even not admitting that we made a mistake, stem from seeing it as a "crime"? Nobody wants to be guilty.
For example, defense statements such as "Our crime is to love" and "It is not my fault that he is offended by me" refer to personal wrongdoing. However, when these sentences are expressed as "Our mistake is to love", "It is not my fault in her being offended by me", they have a meaning that eases the burden of the person saying it. Let's take another example: If you feel a slight difference between the statement "I am guilty of not doing my part" and the statement "I am wrong because I did not do my part", think about the difference...
When the label we put on the concept is “crime”, it is harder to accept, it is like a greater responsibility, and whether you are aware of it or not, it also evokes sanction or punishment. It has a way of making the person more defensive. It's a difficult possibility that a crime will conjure up something positive and turn positive.
When the label is "mistake", based on the acceptance that every person can make mistakes (like the saying "There is no one without fault" in our culture), the responsibility is a little lighter, generally easier to accept and does not connote punishment.
The biggest difference is in the dual concept structure that I mentioned at the beginning of the article. When one thinks of crime, punishment comes to mind, and when mistake is mentioned, the accompanist is probably correcting. There is no concept of correcting the crime, but you have the mistake.
How are these definitions for you? How does it reflect in your everyday language? What are the situations in which you use the word "crime" - as it has nothing to do with the law? In the same situations, would you be willing to change your statement and therefore your point of view with the concept of error instead of the concept of crime? When you make this change, what is possible that was not possible before?
Those who want to exercise and reflect on changing labels can return to the 4 questions at the beginning of the article about crime.
In these 4 questions, he can see how it looks by replacing the word crime with the word error.
If you think that you are approaching your mistakes as if they are “crimes” and you want to change this, a new playing field has opened in front of you. When you get what you get from this game, you can go to the next level and continue by doing the same experiments and observations on your view of the mistakes or crimes of others. Life is a huge and fertile garden to try different perspectives, examine the results impartially, and pick and choose what you want. I hope you enjoy it.
Ways to Relieve Mental Fatigue for All of Us
Have you ever observed that even if you are not physically active, at the end of days when your mind is busy with work and you work hard, you feel tired and exhausted as if you have carried stones for hours? Do you feel tired and sluggish after challenging experiences? Have you ever felt less energized than when you were under stress?
Fatigue has a mental dimension that causes a slowdown in our mental functions as well as its physical dimension, which is manifested by the muscles in our body not working at an optimum level. Modern life, where everything moves fast, we are busy with something every second, and we make more and more efforts to meet expectations, is one of the most important reasons why our minds are constantly busy, pushing their capacity and getting tired.
**What is Mental fatigue?**
Mental fatigue can be defined as the temporary inability to perform mental processes that require cognitive skills such as thinking, analyzing, and making decisions, or performing them with a lower performance than usual. Mental fatigue occurs gradually, depending on the level of performance of the person, during any situation that requires focus, attention and effort. For example, although you may feel very energetic and motivated when you first start a task that you need to complete, the problems and details that occupy your mind while continuing your work may cause a feeling of fatigue in your mind that increases over time. The more cognitive skills such as analytical thinking, decision making, remembering and questioning are developed, the later the mental fatigue is delayed. In addition, many physical factors such as sleep, nutrition and movement also affect our feeling mentally tired. Therefore, when you feel mentally tired, it is quite normal for your body to feel tired and you cannot find the energy to do anything.
**Causes of mental fatigue: Why do we feel tired?**
Many factors such as the hustle and bustle of daily life, busy working hours, increased responsibilities, overthinking can cause mental fatigue. Let's take a closer look at the most important causes of mental fatigue, which are often associated with factors that cause physical fatigue.
Thinking in itself is a cognitive activity that requires mental energy. The complexity, excess and excess of our thoughts is one of the most important reasons why we feel mentally tired. The tendency to overthink and cling to thoughts, which is linked to psychological problems such as stress, depression, and anxiety, is linked to genetic factors as well as to stressors and challenging life experiences in a person's life. Psychological disorders in the family history, especially with symptoms such as bipolar, dementia, or borderline personality disorder, can cause a person to overthink.
**Heavy workload and long working hours**
The intense workload requires us to use our mental skills more, focus more, think more and analyze more. When we work long hours without taking a break from any work, a feeling of fatigue may occur in our minds gradually. Intense work that brings with it overthinking and a constant preoccupation with thoughts can cause a feeling of chronic fatigue.
**Depression or depressed mood**
Depression or depressed mood, which manifests itself with physical fatigue and a low mood, is one of the most important causes of mental fatigue. Depression, which manifests itself with symptoms such as emotional sensitivity, tension and lack of pleasure, also causes insomnia or excessive sleep, which causes both physical and mental fatigue, appetite changes, loss of interest, guilt, sense of worthlessness, inability to concentrate, lack of motivation, helplessness and depression. It can cause mental fatigue along with many symptoms such as a feeling of hopelessness.
**Stress**
The stress response, which is one of the body's natural responses to protect itself from possible dangers, emerges as a result of exciting, unknown or frightening experiences. This biological response causes an increase in stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol. The increased release of these hormones helps us react quickly to perceived threats and situations where we feel pressured, which requires quick thinking. However, the body's constant exposure to stress factors, the mind's constant feeling of stress, and the prolonged stress response can cause us to get tired both physically and mentally.
Mental fatigue is often seen as a natural consequence of long-term stress. Your body's constant exposure to the things that activate the stress response causes your cortisol levels to stay constantly high, putting the work of other systems in the body out of balance. This includes your mental functions and nervous system. Many situations such as financial difficulties, losing a loved one, trying to complete a job on time, illnesses, and weak social support mechanisms can cause a feeling of mental fatigue and burnout due to stress.
**Trying to deal with more than one task at the same time (Multitasking)**
Since we often try to do more than one task during the day, we try to deal with multiple things in the same time frame. But because our minds are programmed to deal with only one thing at a time, all the things we seem to be doing at the same time create a situation where the mind has to switch one after the other. Making instant transitions between different tasks, trying to focus and remember again can be quite tiring for the mind. Constantly switching between thoughts, focus, and the problems we need to solve can cause the mind's ability to focus and solve problems to deplete over time.
**Constantly having to choose and make decisions**
Decision-making fatigue, also called ego exhaustion, is one of the most important causes of mental fatigue in modern life, where options continue to multiply. Constantly having to make choices causes the mind's ability to make the right and most appropriate decision over time. Even the simplest decision-making processes, such as not only making important decisions, but choosing one of the hundreds of options on the food menu, can cause the mind to tire over time.
**Ways to prevent mental fatigue**
The most important step in dealing with mental fatigue is to be aware of the factors that cause fatigue and to keep these factors away from your life as much as possible. It may be beneficial for you to pay attention to some small points in your lifestyle to prevent mental fatigue and to use your cognitive functions optimally.
**Don't be sleep deprived**
Sleep is one of our most important resources for the regulation and renewal of physical as well as mental energy and brain functions. Try not to disrupt the night's sleep, which is extremely important for the digestion and regulation of what we learn, experiences, and mental processes during the day. Use your bed and bedroom only for sleeping. Avoid stimulants such as caffeine, cigarettes, and alcohol that cause insomnia.
**Avoid stress as much as possible**
In our daily life, we can be exposed to hundreds of different stressors, consciously or unconsciously. Although it is not always possible to eliminate the source of stress, in order to feel better mentally, you should try to stay away from situations that you think are causing stress or that you notice that increase your stress level as much as possible. If some of your responsibilities at home or at work are stressing you out, you can try asking for help or delegating some of your responsibilities to someone else.
**Reduce your options**
In a world where there are so many options in every subject, it is a situation that most of us face from time to time, being indecisive among hundreds of options. For this reason, try to reduce your options especially in your daily activities such as food, clothes, grocery shopping. Try to reduce your options as much as possible by listing the options that you have tried before and that you think are suitable for you.
**Lighten your workload**
Although it may not seem very possible, getting rid of the workload and intensity, which is one of the most important causes of mental fatigue, will help your mind to be more relaxed and rested. Instead of being busy with multiple tasks at the same time, you can try to prioritize your work step by step, share some of your work with your colleagues if possible, and limit your working hours by not bringing work home.
Although mental fatigue is seen as an inevitable outcome of the modern world where we work with our minds rather than our bodies, being aware of the factors that cause mental fatigue and avoiding these factors in our daily life as much as possible can help prevent the feeling of fatigue.
Being here and now with non-judgment curiosity and attention
Have you ever observed that things that have been a part of our lives for a long time come to the fore, and even differ a little from their traditional structure and carry a novelty as if they are entering our lives for the first time? In my opinion, such times are an opportunity to recognize those beauties for those who do not know them, and to remember for those who forget.
Somebody came out and put all the corn we've been eating so far in cardboard containers. It introduced us to a version that is eaten with a spoon, sprinkled with salt & pepper and sugar if desired. Even when I was going from one place to another in a hurry, there were times when I was caught in that tempting smell and stopped for 2 minutes, took a small box in my hand, ate it and kept walking. More recently, lokma makers have become very popular, for example. A lot of bites, from small to large, were opened on almost every corner. It dessert lived the brightest period of its life in the hands of the young generation who did not know what it was before.
I haven't seen a corn stand for a while. Except for patisseries and bakeries, which have been doing this business since before it became popular, the majority of desert makers have also been shuttered. However, even as I write these lines, the smell of corn and the soft syrupy flavor of the dessert were enough to activate my salivary glands reflex. Happily, both are still accessible, sought-after and available flavors for those who love and choose. Moreover, those who did not know them before now also know them. They are now available. They are in awareness.
This is how I feel in the content of the word mindfulness. At one time it was part of the title of many courses. Even content that was already mindfulness-based was underlined. It is already a part of their lives for those who know and those who have learned now. An accessible toolbox for those who feel distant from time to time. For those who haven't met yet or want to go over information, today's conversation topic is a state of complete presence; mindfulness
There are actually moments when we are all mindful as our lives are. Moments when we feel completely immersed in the experience we are in, where we are not interrupted by any thought. Moments of full presence; like the moments when we are mesmerized by the view of the high mountains, suddenly witness a shooting star, and get lost in the vastness where the earth and sky meet. The moments when the consciousness of the moment when the thought transition interval is narrowed is high. Short and magical breaks from the chaos of life. The good news is that these intervals can be expanded, moments can be multiplied, the path to them can be learned.
As those who practice yoga and meditation often experience and know, when an action is given non-judgmental and mindful attention, it becomes a form of meditation. Regardless of the content, this can be used for cleaning the house, brushing teeth, driving a car, etc. it may also be, the action in question contributes to the window of who the person really is and to the development of the power to comprehend it.
The state in question is simply a state of being awake. There is no sleepiness in the act of pressing the button of the heater for the coffee that will be drunk as soon as you wake up every morning, regardless of whether it is really needed or not. The nature of practice is simply to remember the need, to be fully alert and aware.
In order to express it, we describe the body and the mind separately. Our language skills are sometimes insufficient to convey meaning. Yoga is the practice of bringing body and mind together. It is a state of experiencing that they are not actually separate. If we widen the angle of the window a little more, it indicates that coming together means being one, being whole, our connection with each other and furthermore our connection with the universe.
Sitting meditation, one of the meditation styles that everyone knows now, requires positioning the body in a certain way. With the mindful and non-judgmental attention given to this practice, it offers the opportunity to see the effects of this particular positioning on our mental and emotional state. There is a chance to clarify the relationship between our body language, feelings and attitudes in daily life, which may mean the possibility of making a difference in feelings and attitudes simply by changing physical posture.
Many aspects of observation are made while in the practice of yoga. Your ideas about your body, your attitude towards it, your tendency to force it, if any, or your effort to keep it in your comfort zone away from the limits that will contribute to its transformation in the opposite direction, all of these may differ and even surprise you when you practice yoga poses with mindful attention and even stay in the poses for a while. It is about the present moment of what one is in. It involves non-judgment, curiosity, and attention.
It is practiced to observe and explore the boundary between what your body can do and where it says stop for now and where it says you are ready to move forward from here. Some discomfort is possible when working in these areas. However, it is possible to learn how to proceed slowly and carefully with a practice of vigilance. In this way, the journey of discovering its limits without harming the body begins. At this point, it would be better to underline once again the surprising aspects of the changes in the body, mind and daily life attitudes. Your relationship with your body is a reflection of your relationship with your life.
Each body's inner sensations are unique. The only person who can know the inner experience of a perfectly aligned posture from the outside is the person himself. Just like what actually happens in a life that looks so good from the outside. This state of alertness means consciously taking the responsibility of noticing. No one can listen to what your body is telling you for you and transform neither your body nor your life. The aforementioned vigilance means listening carefully to the one and honoring the messages by listening to them.
If the desire to understand your feelings about life and to maintain this state of awareness awakens, my 6-week program "Recognize Your Treasure", which I prepared to support those who want to live this experience and protect it, begins once again. In the content of the program, I blended my professional experience in yoga, meditation and mindfulness with the methods and information that are known and applied all over the world, which have contributed to making a difference in my own life, and that have followed thousands of people with their positive results.
Life is very precious to all of us. My aim is to contribute to the fact that more of us regularly contact the richness of their own living spaces and live more through these tools and information that make a big difference in my life.
With your permission, I would like to bring to your attention a few comments from those who have just finished and completed the program I realized before that.
**1st comment:** It is an extremely understandable, simple and clean education, prepared in a thin and loop by thread, from the sweetest trainer, who has experienced and internalized everything he tells in himself, in his heart, and has a warm smile. It was a very enjoyable education that was far from chaos, blended with art, everything was considered individually. Thank you for touching my life, my world, my heart,
**2nd comment:** It allows me to get rid of a shell after meditation, the lightened peaceful state, the calmness that comes with guided meditation, staying in the moment, the awareness I catch with daily practices, the happiness of being in the moment, the feeling of "I'm alive, here I am" by following my breath. Thank you very much for our practices and shares that create awareness in my feelings and thoughts. I am glad to have you and our paths crossed.
**3rd comment:** When I started meditation, my expectation was to learn to manage my emotional stress. As I progressed step by step in education, I learned how to increase my awareness and focus on myself for a moment in this fast flow of life, thanks to the techniques I learned.
These breaks that I gave myself in the course of the day increased my awareness on the one hand, and on the other hand increased my focus and concentration time. Each week, as I felt myself shifting from one mood to another, I noticed a calm in the background. As this calmness reflected on my reactions, the flow of the day and my human relations, I started to experience positive changes in these areas as well.
Another thing I liked about this practice was the variety of meditation and the ease of integrating it into daily life. For example, I started doing many of the things I do with pleasure. In fact, I realized how exhausting expectations can be. Instead, I've found that having a curious perspective further benefits our acceptance of events or our progress through events.
And finally, a tiny footed library that brings light to every question you have. His radiant smile and energizing existence invite us to this direction. On this occasion, all the knowledge, science, technique, practice, etc. you have given me. Thank you for the things.
Accepting is freedom and it's not about loving
The other day I watched the new TV series "It's Another". With its first episode, the series made it clear that it came to create awareness and confrontation in the society. In this article, there is something I want to share with you, inspired by the series. I hope it contributes to your life.
**Acceptance is freedom**
Where does "hate" live when you hate someone? Whoever hates is in his body! So, when you actually hate someone, you fill your heart with that feeling. And if you are stubborn, you keep it inside for years in order not to let go of the hate. And sometimes the other person doesn't even know about it.
**All emotions are fluid and want to stay fluid**
Emotion comes from the English word emotion, that is, e-motion (energy in motion). It is energy in motion. All emotions, by their very nature, want to be in motion. Coming, feeling and going. However, when we hold on to them, they have to solidify and settle in the body as they solidify. Over time, these hardened feelings turn into discomfort. Since emotions are fluid, they always try to be free in order to return to fluidity. Triggering is an effort to dissolve this solidified state.
Can you liberate hatred like all other emotions and let it flow? For this, you will first need to understand acceptance.
**Do you have to love in order to accept?**
Accepting is one thing, loving is another. Acceptance is very simply being able to see someone as they are and watch them exist without trying to change them. Sometimes “I don't understand how can a person think like that? How does he do such things?" we say. Could we be forgetting that in those times, all humans are actually unique?
We are all different beings and we have developed different characters from the moment we were born to the present day. We have strengths and weaknesses, sensitivities. We have dreams and realities. Our met and unmet needs. We want to be seen, validated, and exist. There are strategies we develop to be loved. Some of these are harmful to us, our loved ones and society. However, we find it difficult to see and let go of these strategies that have become a way of feeling loved, and we are hungry for love like a flower needs water.
Yes, of course we don't have to love each other. Even the words love and have to be used in the same sentence is a complete contradiction. However, if we truly and sincerely dream of a better world, we must practice acceptance today and under all circumstances. To try to change one another, we must learn to look not by looking for its shortcomings, but to see it as it really is.
What kind of person is this person who is shouting the opposite of my opinion with all his pretensions right now? Can my mind pull back a little, wanting to shout out the truth of my own thoughts despite his claims? Could this be an opportunity to go beyond my own thoughts and knowledge? Could it be a new door to freedom to follow this person, who has recognized the opposite of what I believe as true, without judgment? Is life really what I can describe? Or can I open my heart to the maturity of seeing that everything that exists in it is a part of life, accepting that it is a huge body of unknowns?
And in doing so, can I offer myself the same acceptance? When I realize that I'm judging another, just by seeing it exist inside of me. And by incorporating the practice of acceptance into my life to expand the boundaries I have built for myself. Remembering that I don't have to accept it. Knowing that I may not be able to do it yet, but trying at every opportunity.
Just practicing will expand your heart. For whom was your heart filled with hatred last? Who is that person you can't even stand to see? Now can you close your eyes briefly and look at him in your imagination just to see him? To see his pain, his consciousness, his human condition trying to live. Maybe for the first time you can look at him just to get to know him?
Is it for the other to accept the other? Or is it for you?
The practice of accepting one another is primarily for you. It is the practice of liberating yourself from the limits you set for yourself. As you become free, your heart fills with more life and peace.
No matter what I do, I can't accept it.
Acceptance is not a goal. First you have to stop trying to accept it. Acceptance is a state of being that comes naturally. Just an intention. The real practice is to “see things as they are” and this practice can bring you acceptance. These little “seeing things as they are” practices that you will do every day will pile up on each other and will carry you to a whole new consciousness. And the day will come, when you look at people, you will no longer see only their thoughts and words, but the person behind them. The pain and unmet needs of that person. You will find that the people who hurt are the people who suffer.
It's not easy, but it's worth it.
Yes, “accepting” is a challenging practice for all of us. However, it's an amazing development tool!
And starting to see that the people who hurt are the people who suffer may be the only way to end this era of violence and discrimination that we are going through.
What would life be like if all people accepted each other as they are?
How would you be?
What do you think, don't you think it's worth a try?
My new favorite activity is Intermittent Silence
We've heard of intermittent fasting, but what about intermittent silence? Recently, I've been working a lot and under a lot of stress. I wrote recently, since the pandemic started, I started to work very hard and hardly have time for myself because my field is very related to the pandemic. During this period, I realized that sitting quietly for even five minutes was very good for me. That's all. I don't force myself to write intentions, focus on my breath, or repeat a mantra. Just five minutes of silence, which can be longer when I need it. I found that making room for this space and incorporating intermittent silence into my life increased my productivity, creativity, and performance.
I know, this is nothing new, but still nowadays, in reference to intermittent fasting, it's called "intermittent silence". So what exactly is intermittent silence?
Here's what you need to know about the potential benefits of this practice and the most effective way to do it. Are you one of those who say, "If speech is silver, silence is gold"? I wonder what they think about intermittent silence.
**What is intermittent silence?**
In this system, which is similar to intermittent fasting, this time talking is interrupted, not feeding. It is a form of meditation on sitting or walking quietly for a certain period of time to keep yourself away from the noise of daily life. If you feel that you have to be in constant communication and get tired at some point, this method is just for you.
**How does it work?**
Sitting quietly doing nothing also has a relaxing effect on the health of our brain functions. Just like talking, we need to remember that we need silence from time to time.
**What are the benefits?**
In the first place, intermittent silence helps to cope with negative emotions such as anger and sadness more easily. It has been revealed that after adapting meditation to his life, his skills in communicating with people also improved.
**What does the research say?**
A study published in the journal Heart in 2006 measured participants' various vital signs while listening to music and found that two minutes of silence between songs lowered blood pressure and heart rate and helped them relax. A 2015 article in the journal Brain Structure and Function describes how silence stimulates the growth of new neurons in the hippocampus (the part of the brain that handles learning, memory, and emotions).
**How is it done?**
You can choose the most suitable time for you during the day. The best time to trigger the circadian rhythm is actually at sunrise… You can set the time yourself. You can also use the timer on your phone if you want. You can start by closing your eyes and listening to the silence for 10 minutes before starting work every morning, or you can create a moment of silence for 5 minutes during your lunch break.
I am not as enthusiastic as I used to be.
I got used to everything.
I don't have any desire in the first time.
Things you want to have, a place you would love to go, a place you long to be in, someone you make the effort to meet. If you have thought of or said sentences similar to the ones above after getting your wishes, you have experienced hedonic adaptation.
Hedonic adaptation is when a person has a great desire to be in his life and when he achieves his goal, the happiness he feels decreases gradually and returns to his old emotional state.
Although hedonic adaptation is used for situations that make us happy today, according to this concept, which Brickman introduced in the 1970s, we call hedonic adaptation as a situation where a person gets used to all kinds of positive or negative situations after a while. The hedonic adaptation is included in the habit of getting used to current situations that affect life, such as illness, death, natural disaster, divorce, change of city or country.
Although feelings such as not meeting expectations, unhappiness, disappointment, and regret can occur as side effects of hedonic adaptation, in the end, everything focuses on the adaptation process of humanity and what they experience in this process.
In this article, I would like to proceed with the part of this theory that is related to happiness. According to Brickman's wheel of happiness theory, the intensity of the pleasures you get at certain age ranges varies. To explain this with an example, think of a toy that you wanted very much in your childhood but could not easily have. Also, think of your adult self, your own economic freedom, your purchasing power and a house or car that you want very much. There is a big difference between the pleasure of a toy that you dreamed about for a long time in your childhood and finally got it, and the pleasure you get after buying the house or car you have in adulthood. While your childhood pleasure becomes more intense and more valuable, the pleasure in adulthood becomes more temporary. That's why we can easily remember memories that made us happy in our childhood.
The old world is dying and we need to mourn
As we grow up, we are warned about many issues and guided about how we should behave. We learn what we need to do to be successful, to avoid attracting attention, to avoid the gang of evildoers talking behind our backs: to be like a girl, to look like a boy, to fit in. We get hurt: When our family doesn't see us, our teacher doesn't hear us, our friends don't like us, we get hurt deeply and we start to hide and collect these wounds that we have no idea about. Each wound is recorded with one or more emotions.
Feelings. We have a childhood that we learned almost nothing about growing up, and even if we did, we learned to hide them in the best way possible. Most of us. The transformation in one of us is healing for all of us, but how can the feelings hidden in one of us not hurt us all? Especially when we encounter death, we stuff feelings that we don't even know the name of in the bleeding wounds. We know neither death nor mourning. We have learned to get rid of everything as soon as possible, to hide tears, to escape from grief.
The first days after the city earthquake passed with fuss, hopeful waiting and support for aid campaigns. While waiting for the news that the people under the rubble, the pets that lost their families, will continue to live in health, some people continued to share joyful and entertaining posts on their social media accounts as if this pain did not exist. Some were angry at this, some claimed it was their right, some cared nothing. There are moments in life when we don't judge things on a personal basis, rush for support for someone else, or withdraw into our own centre. Maybe I should say there was, because now we are trying to move on with life in a hurry, without noticing these undeclared “**mourning**” that we share with others. As if nothing has happened.
It is the work of the heart.
We say wise functionality is mostly pacified
For this human love
lyrical love totally
Mind
wisdom and knowledge
three trinity of faith
It is a must.
In human love, lovers are always defeated in the war with their irrepressible lust and luscious powers.
In a little while they are willingly defeated voluntarily
Events and events support this thesis.
Escapes
deaths murders
Grandfather's visits
They sink into deep, subtle issues.
It is evidence that the mind falls into a functional defect in human love.
Making the most unlikely decisions in matters of LOVE was not a proof of the intoxication of love.
You know, we used to say that love is a mind job?
look it's not
But the mind is not the same, of course, the mind is not the chief, it is the assistant to the soul.
The other day, I focused my attention on the topic of "grief" on the occasion of a post and because of the appropriateness of the agenda, I thought long and hard about mourning, got emotional and gathered information. The sociological and psychological reasons that cause this are the subject of another article, even other specialties, but for a while we started to live by doing our best to escape from the pain. We do our best not to respect the death and pain of others, but to ignore and ignore our own pain. We want to live our life as a ball of "positive" and "exuberant" emotions, we become "down" at the slightest event. Our distance from our own feelings also creates an indifference towards the feelings of others. Is it possible to embrace someone else with compassion when we are blind to our own pain and mourning?
I know, in order to be able to hug someone else with compassion, I first need to learn and practice how to hug myself with compassion. Astrologically, we are in a time of great farewells, both collectively and individually. One by one we lost the things we held on to, the ones we thought were the reason for our existence, the ones we said "I can't live without" How can we open up space for the new, the potential, our dreams, without mourning these losses and accepting their absence? Therefore, I would like to close this article with a call that I hope will be very good for you: Please allow yourself to grieve.
Whatever you lost, what you couldn't do, who you had to say goodbye to, what you missed, take them with you and write a letter of mourning. If you feel the need, your tears will meet with you for all the feelings you can't express. As long as you don't run away from the feeling, create a space for yourself to stay with this pain. If you can create space for your own pain, you don't need to comfort yourself when someone else is going through great pain and you can be a partner in their grief. Man is the home of man; We need to be accompanied by our laughter and our tears.
Compassion (metta) meditation can do you good to open up space for yourself and your emotions. You can search the internet for this meditation or follow the directions in the Heart of Buddha book. There are many different methods of meditation and compassion in the book. Close your eyes, take a few breaths to bring your attention to your body and find silence in your mind. And then, show yourself compassion by saying the following sentences:
let me be happy.
I'll be fine.
Let me be kind.
May I be in peace and security.
And if you want to include others in this compassionate field, they may be your loved ones or those you do not deem compassionate, you can repeat for them:
May you be happy.
Be well.
Be kind.
May you be in peace and security.
The old world is dying, we need mourning. Our old selves are dying, mourning is at hand. I know you need to feel something again now. Come on, don't ignore, delay, run away.
Let's find your passion first and then protect it
Do you know the passion? Have you ever thought that he likes what he likes, what he / she doesn't compromise, what to honor what?
Where in Passion's life? In the dictionary; is defined as a strong enthusiasm that exceeds and judgments. Even strong enthusiasm that exceeds judgments is enough to explain the power of the passion. What area lights up, warms you if you have?
People who have lost or found their passion remind me of the houses that don't burn lights. I especially lift my head on the streets I walk in the winter and look at the houses. To the lights of the houses. Some houses are warm with yellow lights, there are cold fluorescent lamps in others. I don't make characters analysis to the lights of the houses, I'm just talking about their counterparts. "While the lights of the houses are on a fire, ask me a darkness in me" says,poetrist, Here's something.
If the lights of the houses are telling the temperature of the people I think the passion of the man is determining the light in their eyes. As if the joy of life becomes a firework burst in the eyes of the eye babies. You would like to look at your eyes with a continuous interest. The color is as well as without noticing the shape. Is both explaining and is living. It is a preliminary demonstration in their eyes on the passion for you.
If you look in the mirror do you have or you understand. When you get to a job, if you get the heart beating with a project and the volume of the happiness of the happiness of the happiness is too wide... If you are able to get more with people who understand meaning, you'll immediately understand. You feel that you have become a lifestyle, without allowing you to understand. He has the place that cannot be filled when you pull it either, Here is the passion.
Let my yellow suns kiss your hair
Feel my wind on your lips
May my eyes forgive the springs of life
Your beautiful face is the sugar of the dimple of my ant life
I'm reaching for your pupils I love you.
You are the nobility of the snowdrop flower of my cold life
You always sing for me like a canary
You always want my happiness.
Remember that hearts give happiness
Each letter is in your hand sweet lollipop sweetheart.
While I smell the hyacinths in the bosom of their love
Tell me, will there be death?
Beauties scatter on their skirts,
The flowers are on their knees now in their eyes.
Pay attention to whom to whom they tell the passion. The magic in the explanation of passionate people also passes to the listening. This is the magic listening to the magic and copies it, then this is the case after it makes itself. The person who tells the listener you have looked at is trying to partner in his passion. Even possibly owned, threw its own signature underneath. Although he is "mine" he is trying to get the past in the first stage. When everything is the medicine, then what happens? This is the fact that the passion is loaded in a copied person, because it is copies experiencing the promise of lives. An internal motivation for passion has a fire for copying it even though it is not the right. It won't know where to put it this fever.
If you know the passion what is good, what happy to you. To the passion of having one. The most special parts of you to stay. The inspiration is nice, inspiring talk to be valuable, even inspiration is very meaningful. Therefore rather than telling the passion, can you live it?
I have several advice on your passion: Let your passion be in your actions, be in the actions you get a living resource to you. Get like a source water that feeds your bed. With the surrounding natural respectful, it is to be gone with itself, you get people who will support, not to life with your enthusiast. Where do you recognize these people? On topics related to you, without inclusion of itself in the work, you actively listen to you. That they do not continually take himself on special subjects. From not to make your own plan in the background while listening to you.
Find your passion, get on with and live with your passion. Believe your life will be more meaningful.
How to stay strong when there is so much pain in life
Anxiety and pain. There's nothing we won't do to avoid these two. But a carefree and pain-free life seems unlikely, especially in our recent experience. Because of all these, you may find yourself constantly feeling anxious, unhappy and hopeless. This inevitably leads to anxiety. The source of anxiety disorder lies in cognitive, that is, in the perception and thought processes of the person.
Underneath anxiety, there is an intense perception of danger in an intellectual sense, and on the other hand, self-confidence and feeling powerless in terms of coping with this danger. As human life contains good things, unfortunately it also contains bad and painful things. Many of these painful and bad events are inevitable: getting sick, getting old, and ultimately death. Confronting life's problems brings with it anxiety, pain, grief, and sadness. So, how can we stand firm without getting caught up in our emotions, thoughts and feelings that force us in these days?
Some people feel helpless and very difficult in the face of issues that seem less important to others, have a hard time coping with what they are going through, do not know what to do, or feel like whatever they are doing is not going to work. These people are considered to have weak psychological resilience. Some people, on the other hand, can easily overcome the situations that most people consider to be a great difficulty, and they continue with their lives and plans as if they are very ordinary or their struggle is very ordinary.
The psychological resilience of these people is considered to be strong. In one way or another, we all have the capacity for resilience, we all go through situations, events and relationships that require some form of resilience. In other words, psychological resilience is not a power that we do not have at all and that we need to take from outside. On the contrary, resilience is the sum of the skills and experiences that we all have and that we use in the face of small or big difficulties we experience every day.
The concept of resilience comes from the English word resilience and means flexibility. Flexibility means going through difficult events without changing, unaffected, or breaking, and finally returning to the original. There are three things to note here. The first is that we are affected by what we experience, and that is not wrong. Psychological resilience does not mean that a person is emotionless, unaffected, or not forced at all. We are human and we will definitely be affected by what we experience, and this is very natural and necessary. Second, the fact that humans have the flexibility to change and adapt to challenges. The third is the ability to return to one's origins and leave negativity behind, after all the difficulties experienced, after everything is over, and the lessons to be learned from the experiences have been learned.
In short, psychological resilience means being able to be flexible with the necessities of being alive, being able to avoid ignoring, denying and rejecting what comes along, and avoiding resisting to stay there and continue life after living.
Protective factors in psychological resilience
Protective factors that make it easier for people to use psychological resilience against the difficulties they experience are very important. Because these protective factors; It reduces the effect of the chain of negativity that can occur after negative and troublesome situations, ensures the formation and maintenance of self-esteem and self-efficacy, and creates new opportunities in one's life. There are many studies on protective factors in the resilience literature. According to these studies, protective factors are listed as follows:
If you have a positive and easy temperament,
If your willpower is strong,
If you have high self-esteem,
If you have self-awareness and accept yourself,
If you are autonomous,
If you have life goals and positive expectations for the future,
If you have developed effective problem-solving skills,
If you are optimistic and hopeful,
If your social competence is high,
If you have a sense of humor,
If you have a supportive family environment,
If you have peer support,
If your social resources around you are effective and you benefit from them effectively,
You are in an advantageous position in terms of psychological resilience.
Some advice to increase your resilience
**Check your pre-acceptances.** If your pre-acceptances about yourself, your life and people are negative, it is inevitable that you will have difficulties in this period. Think about how these negative presuppositions make you feel. As Spinoza said, "A person who loses faith in the future either gives up on life or continues his life at a vegetative level."
**Know that you are stronger than you think.** You are stronger and more resilient than you think. We know that many people who think that they will collapse after a great pain or hardship and who believe that they cannot continue continue their lives in a stronger and more peaceful way. Viktor Frankl, who personally experienced the Nazi camp, says, “In the Nazi camps, in the face of death, which is sure to come, there were very difficult days, among the prisoners who had experienced experiences, those who held on to courage and hope, and those who did not lose their resilience and faith, survived despite everything.”
**Have a purpose.** Whatever the challenge you're going through, it's much easier to overcome it if you have a reason to overcome it. Because having a purpose makes one resilient and strong, it becomes a pillar. Here, too, let's leave the word to Nietzsche: "He who has a why to live overcomes all hows."
**Do something.** No matter how hard you are in this period of your life, I say give a hand to the things you postponed. If there is something that you postpone, do not have the opportunity to find time for, and there is always something, try to deal with it. In this way, you will not leave yourself empty and you will feel more peaceful by completing your unfinished works.
**Meet yourself.** As I said above, people with high self-awareness are more psychologically sound. It is a good opportunity to better understand yourself, realize what you have, evaluate yesterday and today, and prepare for the future. In these days when there is so much noise outside, listen to your own inner voice and try to hear it.
**Be productive.** We all need to produce, to be useful, to be useful, to know that our existence has value. We all want to feel like we exist. It is especially valuable these days to produce something, whether small or big, important or unimportant, and trying to provide a benefit. As Viktor Frankl said, “It is not what we expect from life that matters, but what life expects of us.”
**Happiness is contagious.** Happiness and unhappiness are contagious. Therefore, try to make those around you feel happy and peaceful as much as you can, and do this for yourself first. Supporting a neighbor who is having financial difficulties, shopping for an elderly person who can't leave his house, calling an old friend you haven't seen for a long time, calling your elders you can't go to are small but valuable sources of happiness. If you are happy, you will be happy too.
**Maintain your body and mind integrity.** Sometimes you may show depressive, unhappy symptoms that are just caused by not paying enough attention to your physical and mental health. For this, take care of yourself in terms of sleep, nutrition and exercise. It will be good for you to keep hope mentally, close yourself to bad news and keep your morale high.
**Get psychological counseling.** If you cannot cope with challenging life events on your own, seek professional help. There are studies that show that psychological counseling is effective in coping with negative life events.
As a final word, let me remind you that resilience is not a power unique to a special group of people with certain knowledge or privileges. So you also have psychological resilience. Maybe you just need to remember this.
Strategic Happiness Brought to Us by Short Conversations
It would be great if people were taught how to talk. Language is the noblest tool we have, to both reveal and conceal thought, speaking is in itself a kind of spiritual act, and 'conversation' is the most subtle of the arts, ***says Oscar Wilde***. How has your experience with speaking been shaped? How many times during the day do you have the opportunity to chat, albeit casually, and perhaps unintentionally, how many times do you have to talk to someone on your feet?
Most of us try to protect ourselves when we encounter unfamiliar people, so as not to get hurt. The personalities of these people initially seem vague to us. While there is potential for a deep and meaningful relationship, we want to stay in a safe space until we get to know them better. Short conversations are actually just a helping hand to our defensive instinct, giving us ways to make relationship connections at a slower, more reasonable pace.
In addition, it has been proven by many studies that casual conversations make people feel happier and more competent. Like it or not, these conversations can be an integral part of your success, and the types of conversations you have apparently have a huge impact on your personal well-being. In 2010, scientists from the University of Arizona and Washington University in St.Louis investigated whether the conversation types of happy and unhappy people differ, and according to the results of this research published in the journal Psychological Science; The happiest participants were found to be twice as likely to engage in deep conversations and one-third as many times as short conversations than the unhappiest participants.
In the normal course of human relations, casual conversations are the forerunners of deep conversations. Most people need to be comfortable with each other before a serious conversation or an ongoing friendship can take root. If you do not like and avoid these short conversations; in practice, you also deprive yourself of many meaningful social interactions.
***If we take a look at the benefits of short chats;***
They help you make a good impression: A short talk gives you a lot of information and helps you read the atmosphere of your environment. Anything that can make a good impression; perhaps you can test the other person's character or possible sensitivities without making any blunders.
They help you with your career: That person you haven't met in a setting may not be as foreign to you as you think. Chatting with him about the weather can give you a way to share your career aspirations, which can present you with that opportunity to trigger an unexpected career connection.
Perhaps the beginning of your lasting relationships begins with those short conversations: Think of your closest friends. Your relationship probably started with small talk, right? If you chat with someone new, you can also earn yourself a lifelong friendship.
It can be a source of inspiration for your new ideas: Chatting also opens up ways for you to create new thoughts and ideas as you speak. You force yourself to think in new ways when talking to someone you don't feel very comfortable with. Ideas that are really interesting and unexpected can come up with this trend.
They help you focus: Apart from our distracting technologies in today's world, our minds also constantly take us elsewhere and can prevent us from living in the moment. Even being able to get away from our judgments and phones in our minds for a while and focus on the other person and listen to him or her will help us to focus our attention.
They'll help you solve your problems: Small talk makes some changes in your brain. Studies by researchers at the University of Michigan suggest that the social interaction required by short conversations, especially when trying to take the place of the other person and read their mind, can increase our problem-solving ability.
In general, every conversation comes to life in a two-tier cycle. In the first layer, we communicate information or ideas. This is the semantic content of speech; that is, the side of the meaning of words. On the other layer, talking is a social behavior. Every speech is an action, not just to convey something, but also to do something: to reassure, to accept, to nurture, to command, to reject, to dominate, to encourage, or just to fill an awkward silence. To be able to master both layers of speech in a well-meaning way, to use speech more effectively, there are four strategies that will contribute to your short conversations:
**1. Ask open-ended questions.**
Almost everyone would rather talk about themselves than talk about something they know little about. Open-ended questions create an interesting, dynamic conversation space and make it easier for the person you are talking to to open up to you. In these types of questions, focusing on the stories to be told rather than the answers is the most enjoyable part of the job. A few examples of questions.
If you weren't doing this job, what would you possibly be doing right now?
What surprises you most about your current life?
Are there any apps on your phone that you can't live without?
If you could only watch one type of movie for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Are there any books that others love but you hate?
Do you have any podcast suggestions for me to listen to on my travels?
**2. Practice active listening.**
You may not like the idea of being able to shut up occasionally, but if you can, you'll make much stronger connections. It is actually much easier to be able to just listen to the person speaking and ask relevant questions without being busy with yourself or your surroundings.
**3. Dispose of your phone.**
When we feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar in social situations, we tend to dive into our phones; but nothing can sabotage your conversational efforts like these distracting tech gadgets. With this attitude, you send a simple “stay away” message to everyone.
**4. Show your enthusiasm.**
Of course, by avoiding excess. Small chats aren't always the easiest actions. However, with the right attitude, you can actually have fun. You never know who you will meet or what they will share.
Although the content of all types of conversations may seem to be related to your connection with the other party, it actually defines that magical space where you go back and tell yourself how you look at yourself and how you came into existence.
Being grateful for the good things we have in life by constantly remembering
Although the first thing that comes to mind when feeling tired is physical symptoms of fatigue, such as 'being cut off from one's hands', low energy has a mental dimension as well as a physical one. You can better understand what we mean when you remember how sluggish, exhausted, and tired you felt when you were hardly physically active, but when you worked so hard, with a thousand thoughts, problems, and possibly intense work in mind.
Feeling mentally more energetic with positive feelings such as happiness and confidence; Since it is directly related to skills such as focus, willpower, motivation and productivity, mental energy is an extremely important need, a driving force to create positive habits and remove unwanted habits such as procrastination.
Mental energy, which has a significant impact on our physical energy levels as well as increasing our mental stamina and feelings of happiness, has an astonishing effect on the way we think, the perception of others about us and our performance. Since we feel more confident when our mental energy is high, our self-confidence is much higher and we increase our chances of success in everything we do by performing more effectively.
Some habits that you can include in your lifestyle to increase your mental energy and keep it alive will help you feel much more energetic mentally and physically, as well as get rid of the feeling of fatigue.
**Make it a habit to be grateful**
Although it may seem like "Pollyanism" to some of us in this difficult time we are in, it is a fact that life offers us enough reasons to be thankful. One of the best ways to increase mental energy is to be thankful by constantly remembering the good things we have in life. Gratitude requires us to focus on the positive and make an effort to voluntarily see the positive things in life, allowing us to move away from the things that bring us down mentally and reduce our energy. Thinking that we are earning the necessary salary to enjoy our life despite a negative situation at work or focusing on the fact that challenging life experiences and obstacles strengthen our coping skills and psychological resilience helps us to feel much more confident and strong. Gratitude is a wonderful tool for us to better see the things that really matter to us in our lives.
**Try the negative visualization technique**
The negative visualization technique is a method of increasing mental energy that has an important place in Stoic Philosophy. Stoics often envision the worst possible scenario, the worst that could happen to them, and practice staying unconcerned with the emotions and thoughts that this visualization generates.
The purpose of the negative visualization practice is to enable the individual to cope more easily with the psychological and mental burden that the realization of imagined negative situations will create on him. Practicing this technique often also helps us learn to reduce satiety and be grateful for what you have.
Most of us spend our free time thinking about things we want but don't have. On the contrary, the Stoics say that during the time we spend complaining about what we don't have, thinking about what we have and imagining what a lack of these things might change in our lives will help us gain a much more positive outlook on life.
**Have people around you who shine with energy**
Since humans are social creatures by nature, relating and bonding is an activity that increases mental energy in itself. In order to increase your energy, make room for people who think positively, who are energetic, who you enjoy talking to, who you think feed you. People who look at life from a positive window and shine with their energy will help you develop a more positive perspective and feel more alive.
**Think positive**
Positive thinking helps you experience positive emotions and feel more positive, and being more positive and optimistic helps increase your mental energy. Focusing on positive thoughts and making an effort to think positively when you feel depressed will help you feel more energetic and alive over time. Changing thoughts from negative to positive allows mental energy to multiply exponentially. As your thoughts evolve towards positive, it becomes easier and easier for your mental energy level to rise.
**Simplify your mind**
A cluttered mind is one of the main reasons why our mental energy drops. In our busy, busy and hectic lives, we all have millions of different thoughts running through our minds. The speed that technology brings to our lives, such as being able to access information in seconds or talking to dozens of people at the same time, causes us to engage in more thoughts in a shorter time than before. The easiest and most effective way to make our minds less busy with all these thoughts that consume our mental resources is to use tools that can reduce the busyness of the mind, such as prioritizing, setting reminders, taking notes, and using a calendar.
In order to keep your mind more organized and avoid making mistakes as much as possible, try to keep out of your head anything you don't need to keep in mind. For example, instead of keeping your meeting dates in mind, write them on your agenda or set reminders on your digital calendar. Instead of keeping in mind the things you need to do, prepare daily, weekly, monthly or even annual to-do lists and prioritize the things you need to do. Don't be afraid to ask for help, especially if you have responsibilities that don't require you to do so that can be completed with the support of another person.
**Spend time outdoors**
Sunlight and clean air play an important role in increasing our mental energy as well as our physical energy. Vitamin D synthesized in the sun, fresh air and spending time alone with nature are the most practical ways to increase our mental energy. In our biological rhythm, called the circadian rhythm, daylight hours are the hours when our minds are awake and energetic as well as our body. Therefore, the brighter you are in natural light and outdoors, the more energetic your mind will feel.
**Take time for yourself to have fun**
We often neglect to have fun and enjoy life in this period when it is risky to go out and spend a long time with our friends with peace of mind. However, spending time with oneself, with friends and family; activities such as taking care of his hobbies are extremely important for the renewal of mental energy. Fun activities that stimulate many positive emotions such as curiosity, excitement, happiness and passion help you feel more motivated and energetic. Fun activities help us to be more energetic by stimulating the brain.
**Stimulate your mind**
Not being busy at all, as well as being too busy, can also cause your mental energy to drop. For this reason, as in all areas of life, it is necessary to find balance in mental load and occupation. While some obstacles, difficulties and problems can give energy and mobility to the mind, the high amount and intensity of these obstacles can make you feel overwhelmed, exhausted and tired. Neither too little nor too much; You can revive your mind by having fun without getting bored with as many difficulties and obstacles as it should be.
**Meditate**
Although meditation does not directly pump energy into the mind, it can be considered a mental energy booster as it regulates the thoughts floating in our minds and the relationship we have with our thoughts. Being aware of the mind and the breath, putting aside negative thoughts from the past and worries about the future, and staying in the present helps our mind to be free from all thoughts that reduce its energy.
**Try new things**
Doing the same thing every day, maintaining the same routines, and staying out of the comfort zone are among the factors that significantly reduce mental energy. When we stick to the same routine and develop habits that are inflexible, our brains tend to operate in autopilot mode. A mind that is closed to new stimuli cannot develop, think and cannot increase its energy because it has never been stimulated.
Therefore, to increase mental energy, try to step outside your comfort zone, learn new things, have adventurous experiences, and be spontaneous and unplanned. Take a different route to the job you go to every day, each time. Go to the nearest bookstore to your home, pick a random book from the shelves and start reading.
In addition to all these long-term changes you can make in your lifestyle to revive your mental energy, you can find our suggestions that will increase your energy much faster, more practical and in a much shorter time in our articles:
-Formula to increase your energy in 5 minutes
-Natural methods you can apply during the day to increase your energy
-Double your life energy with small adjustments in your life
Our interesting interactions between Emotions and Memories
Some memories; we remember it in all its details, as if our brain took a picture of that moment. Of course, the same is not true for every moment. There is an interesting and rather complex relationship between emotions and memories; In the light of a study, let's try to understand.
What is Flash Memory?
Your first fall off the bike; did that cinematic image come to life in your mind? The pain in your leg, the wind that eases that pain. Who was with you, where exactly were you? Now you may feel like you're back in that moment and reliving it literally. American scientists, Roger Brown and James Kulik; He calls these memories with high emotional intensity “flash memory”. An earthquake is the death of a loved one. Scientists; He says that when traumatic or shocking things happen, these memories create a specific and clear memory in the brain, and flash memory memories are easier to remember than ordinary memories.
So what exactly could be the reason for this?
What should come to mind when we say emotion? Of course, the amygdala is the emotion control center of the brain. The amygdala plays a primary role in emotional memory formation. Emotional responses are processed, recorded, and surfaced here. Also, the amygdala is located in front of the hippocampus. The hippocampus transfers short-term memory to long-term memory. In other words, the amygdala contributes to the strengthening of permanent memory by establishing connections between emotional stimuli and memory. Thus, it becomes usual for the events associated with emotional stimuli to be stored more permanently and remembered more vividly.
Where does emotional memory occur?
**Professor Tali Sharot**, an expert in Cognitive Neuroscience, and her colleagues from New York University decided to conduct a study to examine the brain functions of people who remember traumatic events. The results of the study, published in the National Academy of Science, also contain new information about where emotional memories are formed.
During this research, there was no need to traumatize anyone for the sake of science; because the 21st century is already full of disasters. Sharot worked with 24 people who witnessed the events of September 11 personally. They were asked to recall what happened on 9/11 or a random event they had experienced on any summer day. The results said that the memories of people who were in Manhattan at the time of the attacks were markedly different from those found in Midtown, which was a little far from the area where the attack took place. While the Midtown group described the event as their other normal memories, the group close to the attack described the event in a more lively, strong and confident mood. His explanations were long and detailed. In their statements, they described what they saw towers in red flames, the smell of smoke, the screams of people.
Sharot used the brain scanner to view the differences in the participants' memories. Did these differences increase mobility in the volunteers' amygdala? When asked to recall the 9/11 event, more activity was observed in the left amygdala of the Downtown group, while there was no significant change in the Midtown group. This shows the effect of stress hormone on the formation and permanence of memories.
Can a flash drive mislead us?
And Sharot's brain scanner revealed another piece of information: Our memories in flash memory may not be as reliable and accurate as we thought. When the Downtown group was asked to recall 9/11, activity in their parahippocampal cortices showed reduced activity. This part of the brain is involved in processing and recognizing the details of events. This information supports the idea that while participants clearly remember how they felt in difficult moments, they were able to remember details of the event differently from what actually happened.
The hallmarks of the brain are incomprehensible. How does it feel to know that our emotional experiences color and shape our memory as it pleases? Even if they are not reliable.
As a child, I watched the love disappear in my soul as a child who saved every pocket money in his pink piggy bank, when he grew up, bought cotton candy for all his money, and sadly watched all his savings, the cotton candy slipping from his hands melt in the rain water.
**Forgive me Child**
However, with what effort I had accumulated I had knitted stitches, decorated every detail with my tears, and preserved it with mother's prayers. Behind the door, my childhood watched in silent horror as the purest feelings of my child's heart vanished. She couldn't hold me accountable, who stole her life from her, while she was tiptoeing in fear, she threw it in and silently looked at me with a naive sweet childish smile. It was his last look, the spear carved into my heart. His eyes were full of me. Resentful but proud. Sorry but quiet. Stronger than me, ready to start over. Despite me, my mistakes, my leaving alone. Child.
I destroyed your dreams.
I threw you into dark nooks and crannies.
I left you without you, you without me, I left you helpless.
Forgive me.
I have a lot to learn from you.
The Happiness In Our Lives Is In The Details
On the way, you meet a friend you haven't seen for a long time. When you ask how it is, you get an unexpected answer. “**I just tasted the most delicious apple in my life**” she says. The pleasure he gets from just eating apples is refreshing and innovative. There seems to be no trace of the feeling of heaviness and imbalance that has spread all over the world with the pandemic. He has a feeling of happiness and he provides it with the taste of the apple he eats.
Absolute happiness is such a feeling; small, unpretentious, harmless. It's in an apple, maybe in the words of a song, maybe in the smile of a child, maybe in the hug of someone you love, or in the snuggle of a purring cat. We often try to persuade ourselves to incorporate these moments into our awareness. It is time to openly allow these moments to come into your awareness, such as when a purring cat unexpectedly snuggles into you.
Our attention is often occupied with other aspects; The sound of drills coming from the neighbor's house on the upper floor is not silenced, the downstairs neighbor's child screaming at six in the morning, our sadness when a loved one falls ill, and the anxiety triggered by the dismissal of a close acquaintance keep us busy enough. Pandemic, economic imbalance, inflation, climate change, uncertainties about the future can have greater effects than what I wrote in the previous sentence. How do we achieve the "**neutral approach to every situation**" mentioned in all the mindfulness teachings?
There are sparkles of happiness in all these dark, foggy and stormy situations. Even if we see that the sky is covered with white, gray, or even black clouds for days, maybe months, it is like remembering that one day the rays of the sun will appear after those clouds. The happiness we experience by noticing the small moments in our lives that sometimes escape our attention is not actually rejecting the things that went wrong, but appreciating what comes up at the opposite moment.
Tasting the apple for the lead person, writing this article for me right now, maybe reading this article for you (I hope so) or drinking a drop of water or sipping your morning coffee... it also breaks the pattern.
Pandemic or not, somehow most of us have a mental orientation towards the negative. The reason for this is very simple, because our ancestors were able to continue living in this way. They didn't wander through the forest with their eyes closed, they walked with their guns in their hands, mindlessly against the bear, tiger or lion that could attack at any moment. When you go to the Belgrad forest in Istanbul, I don't think you have a gun in your hand or you walk nervously. “**The brain is like a hook for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones**” says psychologist and meditation teacher Rick Hanson.
Enjoy your slowdown
The brain needs a few seconds to perceive the message "Something good is coming". By slowing down, you are reminding the heart, mind and body that happiness exists. Eating an apple with care and attention by biting it increases the pleasure of eating an apple, while the pleasure of walking barefoot instead of running on the grass is completely different.
Problem free happiness
Sometimes you simply find happiness when you realize that nothing is wrong and that everything is fine. As we oscillate between pleasurable and unpleasurable, we pass over the pleasure created by the neutral. When I wake up most mornings, I remember sleeping peacefully in my warm bed, the sun rising safely and saying hello to the day amid the birdsong that fills the air. These may not be the situations that excite us, but every time we accept them into our lives with appreciation and gratitude, our souls are covered with a feeling of happiness.
Change your reference point
When we create a reference for the great moments of life, such as the birth of a child, our graduation, our wedding day, the moment we receive the news of the acceptance of our project, we can pursue that great situation. By finding happiness in our daily activities and making it more accessible, we can experience more happiness and become happier individuals.
@helmetjetrimi
