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Panic in the family.

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Written by   241
4 months ago
Topics: Family, Cousins, Panic, Stress, Story, ...

Currently, a big panic has taken over my family, this wasn't caused by anyone in my family but by an extended family member.

What really happened?

Let me start the story from the beginning of the beginning.

The story.

I have a cousin (name withheld) who is very beautiful, she is the daughter of my mom's younger sister. Back in those days when we were very young, my mom always talk about her because she's almost age mate with my elder sister if not older. I haven't seen her once but as time went on, when she was about to visit my home she traveled out of the country. She went to study and after she was done she settle down for a while and it was then I got the opportunity to be friends with her on Facebook.

She sent me a request and I was like, "mom isn't this your beautiful niece in another country" she was like yes she's the one. So I accepted it and we started talking, this was like 3 years ago. We got close and we exchanged numbers, we started calling and texting, and in a short time, we became very close. I noticed she hardly posts any guys or guys but her female friends and I was proud of her.

I went back to school for my higher national diploma program, a 2 years course. It was then our communication depreciated. I was too busy with my studies to always be online and she was already using more than 8 years in a foreign land.

Long story short to the main event.

Yesterday I know my mom has always been on long calls, what is she always talking about with her sisters? So I asked and she told me her younger sister called her and said her daughter doesn't want to return home again.

I was like "she might have her reason and besides who would want to come back to a country with a bad economy"

She said that's not the point. A lot of suitors have come to ask for her hand in marriage from different starts and she had refused to come to see them. The last one came from Abuja city to Benin and spent a week waiting for her return but she refuse to come.

Her mom was so worried and started asking her questions like why don't you want to return home? Do you hate me? And many other questions because she was so worried. When she saw her Mom was becoming too worried it was then she decided to open up to her.

Mommy, it's not like I don't want to come home but it's just that I want to ask you a question. If I bring someone home, will you accept?

Her mom was like for sure, I would accept and why not, if it someone you like and has a future with you, no problem. she was like

Ok, I have someone here and I don't want you to get angry or anything. The person is a female like me and I a lesbian now. We plan on getting married soon, I hope you can accept it.

That was where everything scattered. Everyone in the family was shocked, why are we shocked?

Firstly, our tradition is against such kind of relationship and marriage, our constitution is against it and finally, their religion and general national regions are against it.

What will her mom say? What will she tell people? At first, I thought it was a joke but she was serious about it and she said if they aren't gonna accept her, she's not going to come back home again.

I have been worried about her and I don't know if it's right to talk to her about it. I don't want a situation she will get angry with her mom for telling the rest of the family. In her defense, she said she had tried men and it didn't work for her and she has no feelings for men sexually or emotionally.

I still don't understand or get it. Was it wrong to send her away and make her stay that long?

The way everyone in the family is confused is the same way I'm confused cause I don't know what to say or if I should talk to her.

I just hope we can solve this in the right way. Thanks for reading

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Written by   241
4 months ago
Topics: Family, Cousins, Panic, Stress, Story, ...
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Comments

Choice matters, I know our society doesn't accept this but she is already into it, getting her married to a man may or may not be successful. Support her with prayers and kind words.

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4 months ago

Well.. I hope there is a positive change

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4 months ago

She sure needs prayer bro.

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4 months ago

I just hope for the best and she comes back to your senses

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4 months ago

I will just say pray for her cos it's totally wrong. I am happy she came out clean but it's very wrong biblically. This is a great chaos true true.

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4 months ago

We are still on it.. The fact that we refuse to come home too is one issue on its own

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4 months ago

I was shocked also my friend but the help we give them is to pray that everything will be fine and settled. Don't worry friend, everything will be fine.

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4 months ago

Yeah.. I wish she would just come home so we can talk it out

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4 months ago

It is true that we have right to make our choice as adult but most time we need family to influence the choice we make for ourselves.

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4 months ago

This is just the truth.. To me, I see this as making a choice without considering some fact and consequence is selfishness especially when it benefit only you.. But I wish everyone the best though if she gets the support she needs

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4 months ago

Your cousin is human after all, and it's her choice! You and no one else even has the right to judge her. Don't ruin her life! She was, is, and will be your sister, and she will not love any less of you. Yes, it's unconventional, but it's her choice.

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4 months ago

Hm.. I understand your point. I hope the family can see it like that

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4 months ago

Right now I think the only option you have for her is to pray for her. I mean serious prayer. Of course it's her decision and she has the right to make her decision, right now there's nothing you guys can do. Ordinary persuasion or plead cannot solve the situation because she's already determined.

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4 months ago

Smiles.. Sounded like my mom cause she said it was a bad spirit that possess her and she needs prayer cause she wasnt like that before she left

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4 months ago

Exactly. You guys need to pray for her.

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4 months ago

I think you all should respect her opinion. Yes it might be a shock to the family due to cultural difference between where she reside and the country she is from.

Marriage or life partner isn't something parents has to decide for their adult children at this age. If she is happy let her be and she would deal with anything that comes out of it herself.

But that doesn't mean she should be alienated from the family.

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4 months ago

I understand and it the normal way of the world now but she has to think of the family she came from and I can tell you this for a fact. If she goes on with that decision, she might be disown.

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4 months ago

I understand, but it is good that she came clean and not doing it in hiding.

Well disowning isn't a good idea. Let imagine she becomes someone important in future I'm sure the family would want to relate with her.

If she is happy that is the most important thing. Many are married today and not happy in their marriage.

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4 months ago

Well, you have a good point.. I just wish everyone good honestly

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4 months ago

This is a true panic indeed, if her mother had knew would not have sent her away for 8 years, and made her become a lesbian there, maybe many boys have fallen her hand, but I see no good reason why girls or boys to marry the same gender it really bad, that my opinion maybe they should advice her well on what she is doing .....

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4 months ago

I just hope she realise soon so she would come back to her senses

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4 months ago

I hope too💯

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4 months ago

I was happy at the mother decision who made me happy after taking her daughter site. But it really hurt when she said she wanted a lesbian and want a lesbian life.

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4 months ago

It hurts a lot

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4 months ago