Growing up with a harsh/strict parent: My name is Tope

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Avatar for FashTioluwa
2 years ago

Before I share this story, I would like to tell you something that surprised me day, earlier this morning while I was in the bank to deposit some money into my account, the line was so long I had to wait for about 20min, immediately it got to my turn, a young man in his early 20s came into the bank and asked to see the cashier. He said to her "you gave me the wrong amount of money" with a little anger on the cashier face, she was like "how? In what way?" I was thinking probably they didn't give him his money complete cause this mistake happens often in the bank, but it turned out that the cashier gave him 30thousand extra cash and he decided to return it back to the bank, she was surprise and so was I, he withdraw 20thousands naira and she mistakenly gave him 50thousand naira, she was so happy, I was even happy for her, it would have been deducted from her salary. Well that was the only interesting thing that happened today

Back to the story.

There was a girl named Tope, this 17year old girl lives with her parent but she has never had the feeling of parental love, any time Tope goes to school, she is always happy to leave home and always praying not to return home, this isn't because she hated her parent but because of the rules set by them. "Tope, you're living in my house, you can't do what you like, you will have to do everything I say" her mom would always say, "This is my house and my rules are absolute" her after would always say. She never had the freedom other kids had, she would look outside the window and see other kids playing and having fun but her parent wouldn't allow her, they would force her to read, and after that she would eat and sleep.

She wasn't even allowed to bring female friends home not to mention male friends, she began to dislike what are parent are doing to her, probably because she was the only child, and as time goes, she began to hate them, she prays for the day she finish her high school and gain admission into any university far away from her home, she endure all her parent are doing to her till she finish her school.

After 6years of high school, she gain admission into a university that was 300km far away from home, she was so happy as her parent were sad that their little Princess is leaving home. Tope got to the university with the mind set to explore the life she had never had, so much freedom, she had never been so free in her life, she wanted to socialise, she wanted to have a boyfriend, she wants to know what love means. After Tope got to her hostel, she settle and mingle with other adult kids in the campus, with time she became used to how things go and it surprise her how people relate, she was learning things faster and she was in love with the negative aspect as she has never tried it before and no one to correct her now.

After 6month in on campus, there was a session break and she had to go home, she didn't want to but she just had to, and that was after she spent 2weeks at her boyfriend's place, immediately she got home, her parent where so happy and they hugged her, her mom was surprised to see how she dressed, she tried to caution her, but she refused brutally and this shocked her mom, her parent didn't say anything because they where happy to have her home, she was treated to nice meal and she told them of her experience in school, after 3weeks of staying at her parent home,she became sick, at first her parent thought it was the change of environment, but her dad insisted she was taken to the hospital for proper care, they took her to the family doctor and it was confirm that she was pregnant.

Her dad was really mad and he gave her a slap on her face, her mom just keep swearing and shouting at her, they took her home and lock her in her room, they didn't talk to her or gave her food that night as a means of punishment. The next day, her mom went to the door of the room, unlock the door and said, join us at the dinning table, we have to talk.. She left and after 20min of waiting, her dad got angry and went straight to her room only to find her dead on the floor, he hurried and took her to the hospital but there was nothing the doctors can do, they only saw the letter she hide in her pocket, the doctor gave it to her parent, the letter says.

"The truth is that, I love you both but you never loved me, I wonder why I ended up with such parent, what did I ever do to you both, you never allow me to have friends, you restricted me from this world, you block all my opportunities, you always yell at me for any small mistake. I can't do this any more, I will help you end your problem which is me, the same was I love you both is also the same way I hate you, your daughter Tope"

Moral lesson: Let try to love our children and correct them with love, being strict and harsh on children will never yield good result.

Thanks for read. Lead image from unsplash.com

Article type: story
Date: 11/01/2022
Time: 6pm
Author:©Fashtioluwa

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Avatar for FashTioluwa
2 years ago

Comments

I think they should be an open platform for strict parents to learn how to free their kids a little.. let them go into the world and socialise at the right time so when they get home they'll tell you about the outcome and you'd have to put through the right one.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Like seriously, j love this point of view also

$ 0.00
2 years ago

No... I can't deny it that leaving with strict parents can be so difficult. My friend had almost the same experience.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

And this thing is so rampant in our society now.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

The fact is that, children that are trained strictly and given right education become cruel but great later in the future

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2 years ago

And they tend to have character problem

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This is so sad. One thing to say to parents is that they should allow their children gain some freedom to socialize, love them as parent would, then keep encouraging and talking to them. They would learn how life is and how to abstain from the wrong path. If they had allowed Tope to mingle with the right people, she would have be matured and also learn to do the right thing. I really pitied the parent though.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Exactly, if they let them socialize , even if they make any mistake, they would learn from it, and in that way they would mature too, than to keep them hidden from the world and think they are doing the child a good thing

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Why am I feeling that you are describing some of your story? Dude, you ok?

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Smiles.. You got it right, not me tho, but a friend of mine, I remember the day I was chased away from her house when I went visiting

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2 years ago

My eyes got so teary after reading this. I can say that I am so relate with Tope. I also had lost many opportunities years and I am still so sick of my parents because sometimes, they tend to be abusive verbally ang physically. 😫😫

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I'm sorry to hear about this, I wish there was a way I could help you make them understand you the more, probably you should try to express yourself to the parent you're closer to, they might hear you out and change

$ 0.00
2 years ago

How I wish they would listen... But you know, since I was young, they never tried to listen to me or even to my other siblings...

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2 years ago

I'm sorry about that, I know how that could be like

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Inability to communicate with their children is surely a problem 🤧

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yeah, and sometimes they feel they are the elders and they are always right

$ 0.00
2 years ago

True

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Parents should be strict in order to save their childrens from harsh and bad people but sometimes we need to deal things with love and softness. Parents should understand this , they need to be more frank with their children. I'm really glad that I got the best parents but it makes me sad that there are some children who doesn't have a lovable parents.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Thats true, they need to be strict some times but most parent don't know how to balance strictness and love, and this often turn out to make the kids live miserable life

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2 years ago

You're absolutely true, sometimes it's badly important to differentiate between strictness and love . A small kind word can do plenty of things .

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Very true, just wish some people will see the difference and understand

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I truly hope to be free with my kids when I have one

$ 0.02
2 years ago

I'm sure you would, no one would want to be a bad parent

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yeah

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2 years ago

Some parents thinks that camping their children at home is the best home training and best parental care but unknowing to them, they're creating a person who will eventually get addicted to the social vices in the community once the child gets little freedom

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2 years ago

Yeah, in fact camping a child in the house will make the child lack socializing skills

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2 years ago

Parent's harsh behaviour and inability to communicate with their children is what actually pushes the children away. I see a lot of peeps who don't like to go home during university holidays- it's nothing but a result of bad parenting.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

And this thing is still rampant in our today society, I wish some parent can learn from others mistake

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2 years ago