We Have A Label, But Only A Friend: Ouch!

To a decent woman out there, would you like to have a wrong label? Or have a mutual understanding with someone but no label? As a woman with worth, we should have our right label. To be the only for our someone and not the second one.

I met him in the office I used to work with, I was new in the workplace and work as assistant clerk. My superior introduced me to a utility staff, that he was the one that will help me process things. He smiled brightly and said, “Hello Ma'am, welcome here!” I was amazed by his enthusiasm.

I work with a shipping lines company, where they have some cargo ships, or anything about ships. Our company is accepting “utility staff” . These are the staff that are aspiring to have an apprenticeship, or what we call future seamen's.

Let's call this utility staff assigned to me as “Lucas,” he is a cool and enthusiastic guy. He can easily get along with anyone, especially with girls, because he has this light aura and attitude. He is also a gentleman and he never fails to meet my expectations when it comes to my instructions. He'll process some paper approval for shippings at customs while I do the reports to my boss.

He is very diligent with his job and I asked him why he works so hard. Unlike other utility staff after their job, they'll just have leisure time even if it is still office hours while he is not. After his task is done, he'll sweep the floor in our office, wipe windows, tables, etc like a housekeeping man. He said to me,

“I'll work hard Ma'am because I want to have my apprenticeship soon after this utility experience, I have a lot of plans for my family and for them I am their hope to elevate our life situation” I was wowed by his answer as I can see how much he values his family. I really like guys who are dedicated and family oriented.

Days passed, we became close to each other as friends. Sometimes we hang out with our office mates and other utility mens. We'll eat out for dinner outside, and sometimes we all watch movies in the cinema.

Our office was located at Mall of Asia, so it's easy for us to hang out sometimes and go to bars at night.

We became open to each other, as he was assigned to me, we're closer with each other than the other stuff. Whenever I am hungry he'll volunteer to buy me snacks, and I giggled everytime it happened because I felt like I had a caring boyfriend. Yes, I am starting to fall for him, because who would not? He is so caring and a gentleman.

One day I asked him if he has a girlfriend, he was silent for a moment then he said “Yes” ouch! I was hurt after knowing it, but I didn't let him see it.

“Why am I not seeing her with you?” I was curious why I haven't seen him have a girlfriend because he can hang out with us all the time.

“She stays in our province Ma'am, she's not here in Manila” ah, so that sums up why I am not seeing his girlfriend. He even showed me his girlfriend's picture, she's pretty.

But I shrug off the thoughts that he has a girlfriend because he was still the same, caring and sweet. Days passed and I am falling deeper and I am the one initiating for us to have a “date” . Maybe he knows I felt something for him, but he never refused if I asked him to watch a movie, just the two of us without our colleagues. It's like we have a “mutual understanding” but no label.

One time, I had an unexpected period and I didn't have any napkins and my skirt already had a blood stain. He let me borrow his jacket and buy me a napkin at the convenience store as I was also having abdominal cramps. I asked him..

“Aren't you ashamed to buy napkins at the store? It's girl stuff?”

“No, Ma'am I used to do this with my girlfriend when she also had unexpected menstruation” he replied, ouch! I thought he cared for me and it turned out I was just shadowing his girlfriend.

But my stubborn heart did not listen to the signs that this guy was really into his girlfriend and he only had friendly gestures with me. Yes he is sweet but I think that's just how he is as he has this easy going attitude.

One day, I invited him to watch a live band at the seaside and he agreed. We went after our duty, there were a lot of people watching the band performing that time. He watched the band performing, he was enjoying it while I was enjoying watching him. He has good looks, a long nose and kissable lips. I couldn't stop myself, I kissed him. He was stunned with what I did. I didn't mind other people around us, I clung to him and kissed him deeper. He did not push me, but he did not respond to my kisses. After I noticed he did not kiss me back, he said..

“Clarisse, let's go home, it's already late” when we are not in the office he calls me by my name, because that's what I told him.

We did go home, we rode a taxi and he sent me to my apartment. While we were in the taxi, it's very awkward as we didn't talk with each other.

When the taxi reached the destination he goes out in the taxi with me, but he instructed the driver to wait for him a little bit.

“Sorry Clarisse if you misunderstand my gestures, actually I was fond of you as well because when I'm with you I forget my longing ness to my girlfriend. I just can't take your feelings. I understand you already have feelings for me, because it would be unfair to my girlfriend. I love her and I don't want to lose her. I am sorry if I give you reasons to misunderstand my actions. Thank you for everything, it was nice meeting you. I like you but.. as a friend, good friend..Goodnight! ” he said while he hugged me for a while, then he left. Yeah, I did have a label for him and it was only a “friend.”

(Ouch! This song fits to this story perfectly)

He didn't even give me a chance to explain myself, he didn't give me a chance to let him see I am worth it. His girlfriend is far away, is that how great his love for her is? I cannot even call it “friends with benefits” because I didn't even benefited from all the efforts I had. I was the one who treat him when we go out because he only gets allowance with his utility service.

After that incident everything changed. We only talked about work stuff, then one day he already graduated from his utility experience and finally had his apprentice on the ship.

Author's Note:

This is a fiction story, but this was inspired from our story, I just added a little life to woman who are trying to steal other woman's man. My partner confess to me when he has this fling during his utility days at MOA. I didn't know about it, he could have keep it himself but maybe he was just honest with me. Those times we keep fighting with each other, I was toxic back then maybe that's the reason he also entertained that woman but he is always like that, he has this easy going attitude, friendly to all and he is always gentle with girls.

That's the time he said “You know what I could have find someone else to replace you, but I chose you. The more I tried to forget you, the more I see you with other woman.”

Yung feeling ba na lahat daw nakikita nyang babae mukha ko nakikita nya hahaha! Then he realized daw he can't forget me lol.

I also believe that it really happened because I know his attitude, he is not an aggressive man. He is not pursuant with girls, but he goes along just like what happens to us lol. He said the girl is really aggressive, kulang na lang yayain daw sya mag hotel 🙈. He also compared our attitude and he said, I am different I am wild but not easy to get.

So, single ladies out there reading this, don't be toxic. Don't let other woman steal your man, don't give reasons to your boyfriend to entertain other woman just to breathe from your toxicity, because not all men can resist temptation.

This was also inspired by @JonicaBradley prompt article “label”.

Thank you for reading!

Date Published: August 11, 2021