Dear Mom, I will make you happy
If you are my reader, you know how much I want to have our own house. I always keep saying and saying to every articles where I wrote about my goals, plans, and dreams. I always think about my Mom that's why I am here.
Since, I can't work back then because of the Pandemic, I just use my hand to type to the keyboard of my phone, I just use my brain thinking for the better topic to write about and I also use my own life sharing you all the past and present about me to earn and to help my Mom providing our family needs.
Since when I start to earn bitcoincash, i finally understand how much hard to work just to earn money. I finally understand that money is easy to spend and easy to disappear to our wallet and to our hands. In my 8 months og writing here, I also think sometimes about quiting and stoping what I am doing. Because it's hard for me because my Family keep relaying to me. Paying bills to one no, three houses now and I even spend my earnings to grocery that is the reason why my earnings is still little.
But, I realized that can't stop writing and earning here because I have family that waiting for me to buy these and that and if I can't give what they wanted they will tell me some hurtful words and they will brag the things that they did for us. That's why, I can't say No to them because I have debt. My life if how I am right now is a debt for them because they took care of me since when my parents divorce.
You know what? I keep saying my goals, I keep writing about my future plans and my dream yet, here I am still trying hard to save some for that. I admit and thought before that when I start saving some bitcoincash, It can be enough already to use to build our house but no, my earnings is still not enough to use to build a good house.
My original plan is to build our own house. However, time is so very fast and so the situation too. I talk to my Mom once again about building house and I always tell her that I wanted to have our own house. A house that is far away from this house. A house where we will called as our 'own' but my Mom told me that she likes to build a small room in front of the Kitchen of this house and She told me that where it served as my room. She want to build a small room with a kitchen because the space is still good and enough but I fought with her because I don't like a small room. I want to have our OWN HOUSE.
Don't get me wrong. I know it is hard to save and earn for that and it's not easy as 1,2,3 but you can't blame me. I lived with my Grandparents at early age. Our family threat us different and I already told this story to my previous articles. Then, my Parents divorce when I was still fourth year High School. To make this story short, I suffered...for how many years.
I did not hug my mom when I'm still at that young age, I didn't have a Mom to cook my food. Every time when it's our card day or there is some occasion to our school, I don't have my parents just like the other kids. I envy my classmates because they are still have a complete family unlike me. I'm still relaying to this house. We don't have even some things that we called it's ours.
It's hurts me...a lot because my Mom didn't understand me. She didn't understand why I want to have our own house. I just...want to come back to the time where even if I'm already 22 or more years old, I still want to come back to the time where we are happily living to our own house just like before. Because, I missed the old days. We eat in the small table, we talk about funny things, our laughter ecos around the corner of the house didn't mind our neighbors. Like that.
Sometimes, I wanted to ask her, Is this is the life that she wanted us to experienced? But I keep my mouth shut because I don't like to hurt her. Because there's no parents that wanted their child to hurt or suffer. I can't blame her because she is also trying her best just so she can provide the things that we needs.
This time, You are wondering why I am writing this? Because I just like to expressed what I am feeling right now. You are also curious if what ie the meaning of the title of my blog for today. As you know, I don't have a choice but to let go the Dream and plan that I wanted and just give what my Mom wants to make her happy.
I just realized that if what she wants then i just give what she want. If building a small room with small kitchen is what she likes then, Okay. I will save some money for that. My Mom's happiness is what important and matter to me and I will think about my self after.
My Uncle Engineer said after he measure the spot where My Mom planning to build a small room and kitchen, it costs a total amount of Php 70,000. That's why I decided to save for that kind amount to build her a small room with a Kitchen. A room that she wanted so that when she go home here, she has her own room where she can stay. Instead of me, Staying to that room, I decided to build that for her.
What I can do? My Mom doesn't like to build a House. I mean, she doesn't have a plan of living with us as her daughters. She doesn't like to live far away to our Grandparents and I realized that we have a different plans. And I just remembered that my Mom keep asking me about boyfriend, if I have plans of having a baby and so on but I just rolled my eyes because i know that she want me and my Sister to live with a our loved one in the future and she just wanted to live with our Grandparents. Maybe, she was thinking that she doesn't like to be burden when we will have our own family.
So okay, even if it's hurts me abandoning the Dream and Plans for us. I just go with that plan. Starting to this month and in the next month till December 2022 when her birthday comes, the Bitcoincash that I will saved is for that. I will...build a small room with a kitchen for my Mom as her own small house.
Final words...
While I am writing and typing those words, I am crying because it's hurts me. The pain because I can't let go of the past. The happy memories as a child because I am just a kid waiting for the time where I will feel those feelings again. But I guess I need to let go those memories now. Because, I think we need to get used to it.
You know while we are growing up as an adult, we should plan for ourselves. We should be get reading for being separated to our Parents but as for me, I am not ready to become adult yet. I am not ready to let go to the cage where my Mom but this is life... this is how being adult is. We need to be separate to them because we also need to have our own family, we need to go to abroad to work, we need to learn more so that we don't need to relay to them.
Anyways, I'm still happy because even if I can't give her the house that I wanted, I guess i still can make her happy building that room that she wanted by my own Money and hard work. So, that is my priority first and I will think for myself after that. Thank you for reading! I hope my dream for her will come true.
My Previous articles:
I dated two Guys at the same time?
Tara at magsagot ng mga katanungan
Lists of Netflix movies and dramas that I like to watch
Same tayo sa ultimate goal, sis. Makapagpatayo ng sariling bahay pero since wala pa kaming sariling lupa, ayun muna uunahin ko. Di madali pero kakayanin naman siguro, basta tyagaan lang at more sipag pa. 💫
Pero kung magpapatayo tayo ng bahay, sana 'dun na lang sa malayo sa mga nagiging dahilan kung bakit nawawala peace of mind natin. Para bang sulitin na tutal at magkaka-sariling bahay ka. Pero kung ayan gusto ni Mama mo, pwede na din sigurong i-consoder. But, sana talaga dun na lang sa mas may peace na lugar. Para mas happy~