The unwanted aging: The curse of being elderly

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2 years ago

Do you know the hardest part of life? That happened when it felt like no one could remember us, nothing really had the courage to be with us despite what was happening and what we did from them. Somehow do you see yourself in others? Those elders who were dwelling somewhere, asked what happened and the answer was that because no one wanted them, they must live alone just to survive, they had a small tent somewhere cold and the heat was still in their care. What if it's happened not now but soon enough when we get old.

I often read articles based on the topic where a child wasn't that investment. This is true, parents should not expect huge things upon growing their own child. Responsibility for the record. Lots of stories dictate they get pressured because of that happening. They must live the life they want.

That is in western countries, Asians especially the Philippines could be really impossible to adopt. In another country when you stepped up to the legal age of 18 you will be considered an adult [1]. Some are dwelling independently. Other choices: the life of their choice, living in a room where they would be the boss of their own. In the Philippines, at the age of 18, you were still coming to freshman age in college due to the K-12 program allowing the school year requirement added with at least two more years than the casual. [2]

In our country, at the age of 18, some are still under the supervision of our parents until they reach twenty. More college students are still relying on their parents when it comes to allowance and their school necessities.

That's the difference between western and Asian, because of too family bond family ties. Parents still need to give allowance and things needed to finally claim the honor. In western countries, the government supported their young students with a loan [3] allowing them to borrow money depending on their graduate status and professionality that they had.

In the Philippines it's not popular, instead, the parent will take charge of a loan and they will be in charge of that.

To the question, does there a child is there investment? In my view, if you were in another country where privilege is given as high as possible in your legal age it must be yes, but when you were in a family where they are still your parents doing all the hardest part of the job just to finish your degree, I think we should cover ourselves in the exemption.

Especially when your parent has no cover of retirement benefit for they only rely on what the daily thing they could provide to the family.

Because of the idea that parents should and just needed to support their children for they own and make them is reasons why some elders are being abandoned by their own Childs. and the thinking that parents should really be labeled as responsible for all their child's life, some just give and give until nothing is left for them.


According to A.D Mayol 2020, the number of abandoned elders is abruptly rising in the Philippines and more and more elders are forced to work just to feed themselves. Most of them are in the age of 70 and up high numbers, no gender men and women in their old ages. [4]

This is a sad reality that we all witnessed it with our own eyes and sometimes we just ignored the issue. Children think that because of the age difference, mind reversing attitude they think they are just a burden, some say that they waste time.

Based on the PopCom 2021 (Commission on Population and Development), In the Philippines, 8% of the total population was older prior to the age of 60 and up [5]. There are 108 Million people who are dwelling and trying to move their weakened legs and imagine how many elders are abandoned instead of being cared for by their own families.

That's is the reason why elders in the Philippines don't want to stop working and trying still to prove that their legs wasn't hurt, they were stronger than the buffalo because they don't want to be a burden in their families, or worst they are afraid that no one will take care of them when they were weak and sick.

Do you know that elders are also protected by law?

From the news article written by F. Fabonan III 2019 [6]. He said that Sen, Lacson wanted to take action by penalizing the children who neglect their elders. Under this proposed bill by the said senator a child if proven guilty of not providing support will be charged P100,000 and could have six months of a prison stay, and P300,000 for abandoning their elders with some record of 6 to 10 years of prison. If this bill will save the elders from roaming in the street or living by just themselves, I hope the bill will be passed by law-making bodies.

Why am I writing this article? because I could see when I went to the city to purchase my computer, more and more elders were begging in the street. Some of them had no facemask and at worst they were sick.

My heartfelt something, children abandoning their parents indeed they had their reasons but is that truly enough?.

Well, a child is really not an investment, but a parent should not be the bank. Remember that parents do their job as much as they do, we are not obliged to repay them but please don't neglect or abandon our parents. Thanks for reading…

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Written by
2 years ago

Comments

Now, when we come to the subject, I don't think I want to grow old. It is true that children are not capital, we did not choose to live but our parents did. But, as children who have been given enough and raised well, it is our right to repay what our parents have given us.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

This is the issue on my husband side. Well basahin mo nalang article ko mamaya.

$ 0.00
User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

It pains me to see oldies trying to make money in anyways just to provide for their family even in their age they supposed to be relax and taken care off by their childrens or other programs that cares about elderly, it's true that we children are no an investment yet we should take initiative to reciprocate the care and love for our parents we shouldn't just abandon them just because they got old and never ever labeled them as useless. Why? Because old people are also like a naive child, that needs a proper care and love.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Now, that we're on this topic, I feel like I don't want to get old. That is true that children are not an investment, we did not choose to live but our parents did. But, as children who were given enough and raised well, it's our prerogative to reciprocate what our parents had given to us.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Haha nakakatakot na no? beside now children's behavior is also evolving.

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2 years ago

It's how the parents and the surroundings of the child build him up.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

The last paragraph is really on point. I believe that yup, it's the parent's responsibility to raise their children because it's their decision to have them in the first place. However, if you're a child that received so much love and care from them, I think it's your responsibility to give back and care for them the way they cared for you. Love the topic so as your view!

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Tama indeed yan siguro ang di na realized noon ng mga parents so they just let their child suffers from there doings. So when I will be a parent, I won't just invest money but also time and love.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hay,, my heart always ache everytime I saw elders trying their best to earn money . Either by selling something or begging. Yet sometimes there are also reasons. Just last year my Uncle ( my mother's brother) got sick, mild stroke. The sad part is he was abandoned by his children for the reason that he was not a good father back then. "Ipa daw kasi itinanim kaya wala siya maharvest na bigas". Now the financial burden was passed to my Mother and since my Mom doesn't have an income burden was shouldered by us. Isn't its frustrating?

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Ouch, that is something that honestly can't circulate in my mind, somehow I understand that growing up they are fed with hatred but that doesn't mean they must give the responsibility to others, di lang naman nila marealized na may sarili din buhay ang mama mo.

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2 years ago

That's the point nga eh😂 Kasi kung feeling nila wala may naitulong sa kanila Papa nila, mas lalo sa amin😂. Saka I hate kasi kapag Nanay ko na naistress kasi we are trying are best nga para chill na siya.

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2 years ago

It should comes from the parents principles or mindset. It depends on them how they inform or teach their children in a row of living. Having this kind of traits being family oriented will make us care about to our family.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

That is also a trend. The parent should also show it to their children. Like when they see their parent taking care of their guards, that's the point where the child brain will tell them that this is the thing nice to be done for them. Good morning.

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2 years ago

Kahit minssn halos sobra na magulang ko pero diko sila kaya talikuran, ang lakas ng konsensya ko and mas nangingibabaw oagmamahal ko sakanila as their daughter. Minsan ayaw ko sa mundo pero thankful ako dahil sakanila buhay ako

$ 0.02
2 years ago

From that thought no worries you will have a wonderful future Gyra.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yan din naman ang turo sa simbahan lods once nagpakasal ka, responsibilidad talaga ng parents ang kanilang mga anak at walang responsibilidad ang anak sa magulang, pero practice ng pinoy is iba sa lahat. Kahit nga may mga asawa na di maiwan ang pamilya, nakatira pa din sa isang bubong.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Tama, yan ang best attitude ng Pinoy eh, pero unti-unti nang nawawala.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Oo, dahil educated na karamihan sa mga pinoy dahilan na rin ng technolohiya and trend. Hehe

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2 years ago

In countries like Japan, China and Korea, elders are highly valued by the government to the point that there's a law that punishing those children that abandoning their parents when they got old and weak. Unlike here on Philippines that elders got abandoned by their children and ended up in elders center or gonna survive life by roaming around the street begging for money and food, even here at Taguig I saw lots of elders sitting on the edge while their hands are asking for some coins and food, that's a sad reality in this country which elders are not given attention.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Exactly, sana talaga mabigyan din ng attention ang issues na to, beside this days that covid is onement dapat may action din talaga.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Iba iba talaga mindset ng tao. Ako naawa din ako sa mga matatanda na nasa kalye like asaan mga anak nila? Like bakit sila pinapabayaan. Totoo na kahit anong klaseng magulang meron ka magbibigay ka talaga.

yung partner ko nga kahit pinagsabihan ng tatay nya na walang silbi dahil wala daw nabigay, nagbingi bingihan na lang eh. Kasi di naman totoo. yun nga lang ayaw ng aprtner ko doon sa kanila lalo at ayaw nya sa tatay niya kasi mama naman nya naghirap makatapos sya. sabi ng partner ko ginawa siya investment ng tatay niya kasi totoo naman. Tamad ang tatay nya at mabisyo kaya nga namatay ng maaga yung mama ng partner ko dahil sa kunsumisyon dahil nabaon sa utang/. Eh ngayon partner ko nag bayad nung nakapasok na sya ng work. nag loan ang partner ko, pero pinagsabihan pa rin na walang silbi kahit malaki binayaran ng partner ko. 100k plus na utang at yung iba binayaran ng paunti unti. At ito nga, nagbayad na partner ko pero may naniningil na naman kasi daw may utang papa nya. Like, ano ba namang buhay to. Kaya di ko rin masisi siguro ang mga anak kung bakit lumayo sa magulang kasi nasa magulang pa rin talaga kung paano niya dalhin ang mga anak. Kasi para sakin lang ahh, walang anak na lalayo or mamumuhi sa magulang kung maayos lang ang pagdadala. Kahit pa sabihing mahirap kayo, kung yung pagmamahala mo sa anak mo nandun at pianapakita mo na responsable ka, di ka iiwan ng anak mo hanggang pagtanda. Pero pag ikaw mismo magulang ang gumagawa ng paraan para mahirapan ang anak mo at mabaon lalo sa lupa, wag mag expect na anjan ang anak aalalay sayo.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yeah minsan talaga hindi masisis ang anak sa ganong paraan, grabe naman pala ang estorya ng buhay niyo besfren, nakakagulat yung comment mo isang article na hahaha.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Haahaha di kasi affected talaga ako bespren sa ganyan. Kasi alam mo dati, naiinis ako sa mga anak bakit suwail ganyan or ganun. Pero nung college na ko, mga kakilala ko or friends ko nag share sakin ng buhay nila at kung paano sila nagsumikap mag aral mag isa kasi grabe magulang nila. Ayun dun ko na realize na di ko pala dapat e judge yung mga anak kasi same sa magulang hindi lahat ng magulang responsable, pero di din lahat ng mga suwail na anak e masama. Lalo na nung malaman ko sitwasyon ng partner ko dati. Iwan ko na lang saan pupulutin partner ko kung di dahil sa mama nya. Kaya nga naawa ako sa partner ko kasi miss na nya mama niya at di man lang niya na treat mama nya sa unang sahod sana nya nun.

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2 years ago

And that is the sad reality hirap sa mga anak lakas mag agawan pag bata pa. "Nanay ko to", "Mama ko to", "Akin Si Mama/Papa" pero pag tanda, "Nanay/Tatay mo yan kaya responsibilidad mo".

Kaya nga ako kahit hindi ko or de required na responsibilidad si Mama , ginagawa ko padin kahit ayaw nya ko nahihirapan. Ayaw ko din naman kasi siyang mahirapan e. Paano kaya nila nasisikmura or paano nalang kaya nila natitiis na nasa ganong sitwasyon mga magulang nila? 😮‍💨

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Oo nga eh, diba nag-aagawan noong bata kung sino tatabi sa magulang or sino sasama sa kanila. Then comes the day na magulang naman ang may kailngan sila naman ang umi-iwas. hay naku.

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2 years ago

Nagout reach kami dati sa isang orphanage for elders sa San Juan. It is so heart breaking :( May nakakwentuhan kami, yung lola magisa na lang sa pinas kaya pinaampon na lang. Mga kamaganak niya nasa US na. Ang hirap talaga pag tumanda na :(

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Ouch, natatawag ba nilang successful sila sa ibang bansa kung ini-iwan naman nila ang dapat na kasama nila. Nakakatakot talaga kapag nagiging mayaman na ang tao.

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2 years ago

Indeed we are not investment but you know as sons and daughters, we shouldnt be selfish. We should atleast pay back what they did to us because we wouldnt be what and who we are right now if it werent for them. After all, they are our parents. Anyways, these are my opinions. :) What an informative blog of yours @Eunoia! <3

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2 years ago

Haha I think I am looking for a new style of writing so I made it more informative and research type base. Thanks Alpha

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2 years ago

That's a nice idea @Eunoia!

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2 years ago

I feel that children take care of their parents not because they're obliged to, or a sense of 'Utang na Loob'. Isn't it because we love our parents? Diba? 🥺

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Tama, we loved them no matter what, for we wont be here if not because of them.

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2 years ago

Parents are responsible and accountable for their children, but they are not the unending supply of money for their kids. What's sad about the reality of abandoned old people they are just left behind because they are no use now. Mostly, they are people who has no wife and children.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Exactly, they are not the bank that could give money any time children wanted. Kasi now, even may mga asawa na sa magulang padin, imbis na kainin or ibili naman ng gamit ng magulang wala napupunta nanaman sa mga anak nila.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yan ang nakakasad na reality kuya dito sa atin yung kahit mandakakuba na sa pagtatrabaho para lang may makain pero yung ibanh anak after everything at kaya na niya mang-iiwan sa pamilya. I knew one😥. Ang aga pa kuya pero pinaiyak mona ako.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Oo grabe na talaga nangyayari, nakakaiyak na tignan sila. And alarming talga na dumadami na sila sa lansangan ngayun.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Sobrang alarming kuya. Kuya may tanong ako🙈

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2 years ago

There should really be communication between parents and children. Plans should be carefully laid out. Perhaps if you are a responsible and a loving kid, taking care of your aging parents won't have issue to you. Some kids were just complaining at how they are pressured in their respective situation and that too, I think should be addressed.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Exactly, especially those with a number of siblings, they need and must talk how and what will be the plan for their parents being old.

$ 0.00
2 years ago