Memoria: The pastel of colourful death and life.

Memories was filled with laughter and fun, happiness and bitterness as I remembered. The time where we both doesn’t know what was the reality and what happened outside for we been stuck in childhood. Just dreaming and getting in the side of a curious body as the younger me and older self of yours. I just missed you.

I have been in the state of something this last few nights, the night of doom I don’t understand if I gonna still be alive or die LOL. My body was in the rest but my soul was imperfectly going to kill my own. Not just bragging here and ranting but I just want to keep this as I read again another year what was happened old days and yesterday.

Death was meaningful as what I heard from you, and it was much more understandable when I get older and things began to impact my mind as the book and other teaching has come within my innocent life. Death was within the great cycle of life. From Conception to birth, to opening of the babies eyes and the last closed of people pupils. The dark will come and later the light as you said before you are gone.

I witnessed a lot of dying people. I just curiously watched what was happening as the people around them crying and begging, the young boy who was me are just looking at them looking for some clues to remember. Death is either punishment or a blessing.

They said it’s a punishment for wrongdoers and blessings for those who did a good life in the living under the earth. There was also a death penalty as they provide the punishment for raping or in an inhumane criminal offence. Blessings for some who was something, I don’t want to excavate this just figure out within yourself.

I remember my boyhood trying to understand the dead people. I just pause breathing, like I wanted to feel how was the feeling of no air was coming in my nose. I was an idiot child of course not thinking. Dead people can't feel anything but I am alive trying to dead is something chest burning.

The more idiotic thing I did when I was curious is drowning. Yeah, I think I was a mad child when I was little, trying to understand death or maybe I afraid that time so my stimulation of curiosity is presently not absently in my profounded life.

I also met people who claimed that they saw dead people. Well, I also curious what are they might see but never wished to be like them LOL. I just sit and listen from there what they said, imagining the things they see every day.

Did I sound like a serial madly man to you writing this out?

I just missed someone who wasn’t alive while writing this, she was within me when I was so little. We never talked and she never said something about me when she was still breathing. Her heart was pumping and the only way of showing her love is smile.

That’s happened so many years ago, visit her and hug her but never she gave any word responses. I remembered just the right hand to hold her and then she holds my hands was enough. I feed her and she received it, so I always make sure to cry if my mother won't buy the “cheesecake” if we visit her.

It reminded me what was life is. It’s short and it will be colourful if we choose to pastel them with different memories. The childhood request that was approved by Santa Claus, the teenage high school memories where we dance our crush, the college walking on the stage to receive your diploma. A pastel of the future and the past.

As we looked upon life we must consider death.

Why sometimes don’t understand that happy people are doing a great thing in life? Why did they choices to leave their hometown to look for adventure? Why they want to try something new? Because they consider death.

Life and death were everywhere, it happened with no label of people and what was the life standard. That’s it sometimes to understand what was the life we must take a look at death. Me too I don’t know why I got this topic but thank you for reading, have a nice day…